Food-related quirks and neuroses

[Mooshmouse]

Whenever I garnish a hot dog, the mustard goes on one side (usually the left), the relish goes on the other side (usually the right), and the ketchup goes down the centre along the weiner. Onions go down either side and sauerkraut (piles of it) is heaped in the middle.

And God forbid that I ever try to make a sandwich in my house. My husband is very exacting about the order in which his spreads and fillings are administered. Mayo on one bread slice, dijon mustard on the other. Lettuce on top of the mayo so the bread doesn't get soggy. Meat on top of the mustard because savouries taste great together. Tomato next to the lettuce since veg begets veg. Cheese on top of the meat. Onions on top of the tomatoes, then pickles (either bread and butter or sliced kosher dills) on top of the cheese. Or am I getting the cheese and pickles mixed up? At any rate, put it all together and you have a perfect sandwich in my husband's universe. Needless to say, he's an architect. And he thinks I'm picky about the dishwasher.

What are some of your quirky food habits?

[Jensen]

My favourite condiment to go with chips is actually two...mayonnaise and HP. Not mixed! They must be in separate blobs next to each other on the plate then applied with a knife.

Yum!

PS I fully understand your husband's sandwich methodolgy and adhere to it myself. I'm not an architect but I would like to be one when I grow up.

[Jake]

Yep, habits die hard. Every cheeseburger I ever make is the same way. Mustard goes on the MEAT, not the bun and the onions are diced. Why? No reason -- it just tastes better that way. The lettuce & tomato go on the other side of course.

[ghostrider]

The ham goes on top of the cheese, NOT the other way around.

[Carrot Top]

Heigh ho the dairy-o , the cheese stands alone...

[Daddy-A]

Whenever I garnish a hot dog, the mustard goes on one side (usually the left), the relish goes on the other side (usually the right), and the ketchup goes down the centre along the weiner.  Onions go down either side and sauerkraut (piles of it) is heaped in the middle.

Ummmm Moosh? Doesn't the "side" of the hotdog depend on which way you're looking at it? And KETCHUP??? *sigh* I had such high hopes.

Garlic must always be smashed and diced fine ... never pressed.

Anything grilled must be quarter-turned to get those cool criss-cross grill marks.

Fries with malt-vinegar, never ketchup. (okay, so I have a ketchup thing)

A.

[lovebenton0]

Definiely mustard/horseradish anything savory goes on the meat side for me. If using mayo, or say bleu cheese, or a Caesar salad dressing (yep, kids, creamy and right out of the bottle on sandwiches) that belongs on the salad side with lettuce and tomato. I like my onions on the meat.

And, please, don't toss those croutons in the whole salad first! I want them crisp. When I can choose I want them on top, let me play with it myself.

[Arey]

Whenever I garnish a hot dog, the mustard goes on one side (usually the left), the relish goes on the other side (usually the right), and the ketchup goes down the centre along the weiner.  Onions go down either side and sauerkraut (piles of it) is heaped in the middle.

Ummmm Moosh? Doesn't the "side" of the hotdog depend on which way you're looking at it? And KETCHUP??? *sigh* I had such high hopes.

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Does anyone else remember the great Bob & Ray "Mary Backstage, noble wife" episodes where the Backstagers while "resting between engagments" tried to get some income by buying a "House of Toast" franchise. The only things served were toast and Prune shakes but the customers were always asked whether they wanted their toast buttered on the "near side" or the "far side" , I'm not sure it was ever resolved whether the near side or far side was dependant on the customer's or toaster's viewpoint when the toast popped up,

[Carrot Top]

Well...isn't the correct answer to this question "It doesn't taste as good unless..."

Isn't the correct answer....unless....

"Mom makes it"?

Now my mother was a terrible cook...but I still think this is the correct answer to this question.

[Gifted Gourmet]

Ah yes, the obsessive-compulsive group thread on just where each item must go.. anyone remember the SNL "Anal Retentive Chef" routine?? With the late Phil Hartman making each item so neat and tidy? Now that was really funny!

SNL script

[Mooshmouse]

Whenever I garnish a hot dog, the mustard goes on one side (usually the left), the relish goes on the other side (usually the right), and the ketchup goes down the centre along the weiner.  Onions go down either side and sauerkraut (piles of it) is heaped in the middle.

Ummmm Moosh? Doesn't the "side" of the hotdog depend on which way you're looking at it? And KETCHUP??? *sigh* I had such high hopes.

Garlic must always be smashed and diced fine ... never pressed.

[snip]

Fries with malt-vinegar, never ketchup. (okay, so I have a ketchup thing)

A.

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Now, now. Note that "usually the left" is bracketed... only applies if the hot dog is in front of me vertically.

I'm with you on the garlic. Either diced finely or sliced into 'chips'. I love the whole taste sensation of a piece of garlic instead of having the squished garlic essence just mixed right in.

And you know that you can get therapy for your ketchup thing. Guess you haven't heard about my husband's ketchup habits. When he was a kid, he slathered all his food in ketchup, right down to salad and white rice.

[jgarner53]

Tacos - the American kind with the crunchy shell, seasoned taco meat, shredded cheese, lettuce, tomato, sour cream, etc.

The cheese has to go next to the meat so it melts. Duh. Doesn't everybody know that? And sour cream on top to help hold everything together.

[StudentChefEclipse]

Ummm... I hate to go this Off-Topic, but I recall one of the things we had against Richard Nixon was that he put ketchup on cottage cheese. In the White House. Gads!

Okay. My Food Quirk: I put marinara on my breakfast potatoes. With swiss cheese on top. The swiss must *never* melt so much it becomes one with the sauce.

*tiptoes out quietly*

[reesek]

Ummm... I hate to go this Off-Topic, but I recall one of the things we had against Richard Nixon was that he put ketchup on cottage cheese. In the White House.    Gads!

Okay. My Food Quirk: I put marinara on my breakfast potatoes. With swiss cheese on top. The swiss must *never* melt so much it becomes one with the sauce.

*tiptoes out quietly*

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how funny. it was my mission in life until i had enough disposable income for fine cheese to make sure my cheese always melted.

[Jinmyo]

Well...isn't the correct answer to this question "It doesn't taste as good unless..."

Isn't the correct answer....unless....

"Mom makes it"?

Now my mother was a terrible cook...but I still think this is the correct answer to this question. 

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Uh... No. No. Please, god, no.

[Mooshmouse]

Well...isn't the correct answer to this question "It doesn't taste as good unless..."

Isn't the correct answer....unless....

"Mom makes it"?

Now my mother was a terrible cook...but I still think this is the correct answer to this question. 

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Uh... No. No. Please, god, no.

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Not steak from my Mom's kitchen unless your idea of perfectly cooked meat is something resembling either a charcoal briquette or shoe leather, whichever suits you better. Ack.

[Carrot Top]

Ah. It must be that time again. That time to admit that I was only (sort of) kidding.

It was the philosophy of the idea that attracted me...not the reality.

[tanabutler]

Well...isn't the correct answer to this question "It doesn't taste as good unless..."

Isn't the correct answer....unless....

"Mom makes it"?

Now my mother was a terrible cook...but I still think this is the correct answer to this question. 

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Uh... No. No. Please, god, no.

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I pretty much have a little freak-out from seeing the nom de flume [sic] "Carrot Top," but not from our eG friend here. I think of the unfunny performer who could be Janet Reno's redheaded stepchild.

But eG Carrot Top, you are worth the cover charge.

[Carrot Top]

Well...isn't the correct answer to this question "It doesn't taste as good unless..."

Isn't the correct answer....unless....

"Mom makes it"?

Now my mother was a terrible cook...but I still think this is the correct answer to this question. 

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Uh... No. No. Please, god, no.

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I pretty much have a little freak-out from seeing the nom de flume [sic] "Carrot Top," but not from our eG friend here. I think of the unfunny performer who could be Janet Reno's redheaded stepchild.

But eG Carrot Top, you are worth the cover charge.

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You are a dear person, tanabutler...and not only for saying the above but for your beautiful photos and the care you have for things from the earth...and in the way you show us their beauty.

I don't watch much TV...the children watch it as I wander around 'doing things' in the house...so when I chose that Carrot Top name I didn't think of that fellow!

It was hard to find a name that wasn't 'taken' on eG ....lots of people here! and this is my first 'on-line' experience.

The name was chosen because it is one of the ridiculous names small redheaded girls are called in their youth that makes them blush and makes them sort of mad...which of course happened to me. At first, every time I read it on-line, it made me laugh out loud to think of myself as this name, so that is good. It shows that so much less nonsense matters as one gets older!

I was uh...yeah...somewhat shocked when I saw who this other Carrot Top was... But he is younger than me...so the name is mine first!!

Sometime soon will get a photo and post it so there will be a different reference point for the name, I promise.

P.S. Hey wait a minute...the cover charge here is free!!! Pshaw.

Edited November 9, 2004 by Carrot Top (log)

[chile_peppa]

Funny you should bring up sandwich making...

I was making lunch for the Biker Dude yesterday when he said "One of the things that I love about you is your attention to detail. You line up the bread so the slices match, you stack the meat on carefully, the mayonnaise is spread to the edges, and you cut the sandwich so precisely." How sweet can he get? The ex would have just called me anal!

For hamburgers, I always squeeze the ketchup and mustard into smiley faces on the buns... But for hot dogs -- NO KETCHUP (I'm from Chicago!).

[mike_r]

when i eat mashed potatoes i drown them in gravy and then whip them with my fork so the gravy is homogeonized. potato-gravy soup, mmm! oh and i don't do it anymore but i used to fill in every single little square on my waffles with maple syrup my dad loved that as he was waiting for the syrup!

ps the Anal Retentive Chef is a great routine. when i was a kid the swedish chef used to send me into hysterics, my mom tells me. the ha-ha, kind, not the screaming kind you get from clowns

[tejon]

Uh... No. No. Please, god, no.

Thank you, Jinmyo.

<shivers at the very thought of Mom's cooking>

[Mabelline]

Aah, yasss, waffles...I could go on about our family wars between-- first out of the box, my sister and me, then on to my three daughters (I have done my penance for any childhood digressions, okay? There is no guilt in me)

My sister ate syrup like a maniac. I only liked butter or sour cream on mine. She would get a waffle meant for me and pour syrup on it, before I could get to it, hence she ended up eating mine. AAArgh!

I frequently paid her back, in spades, as they say...you could ask her about the horse with the loosened cinch in the pasture slapfull of nettles, but I doubt even today she would fess up to why she paid the piper for that one!

[Abra]

Too cute. Here I am, thinking "I must be such a dull person, I have none of these endearing, compulsive food-arranging habits, I probably can't even tell the difference between mustard on top/mustard on the bottom, what a lassez-faire slob I am." I like everything, with everything, any way.

Well, maybe not liver with peanut butter, but if I did, the peanut butter would have to be pleasantly melted over the top of the liver and dripping softly down the sides. And the liver couldn't be too rare, because red and brown are sort of an icky color combination. And no jam, no mustard, and heaven forfend, no catsup. I know, bacon! A little bacon would be great, but only very crispy smoky bacon, cut into tiny lardons, and only on the diagonal.

Ok, I'll stop now.

[Hest88]

Well, I can't eat popsicles straight from the freezer. They've got to sit for a bit so the ice crystals melt slightly. (Ditto Otter Pops.) My favorite way to eat popsicles is to remove them from the stick, mash them in a cup, and eat them like sorbet.

Chinese duck wings have to be refrigerated and eaten cold.