The Ultimate Spilling Food On Yourself Topic

[enthusiast]

not wanting to be too pedantic about apostrophes but

i love

As someone who's breasts

literally

Edited August 28, 2003 by enthusiast (log)

[Allura]

I suppose I ought to contribute, as my best friend says he can't take me anywhere...I *always* spill. And I'm another one that a napkin in the lap doesn't help. The "shelf" catches it first. I'm not sure which is worse; hitting the blouse or hitting the cleavage. Depends on the temperature/stickiness factor, I suppose. I do better the more upscale the place is, since I tend to pay more attention to the food, and I'm dressed better.

Oh, and if all else fails, OxyClean can really clean *anything*.

[wawairis]

I'd gone to a Japanese restaurant with a group of friends, two of which were going to try to teach me to use chopsticks. I wound up lobbing a piece of California roll at =Mark's head, while another piece bounced off the my boobies and back onto the plate.

Everyone laughed at my obvious lack of hand-eye coordination.

[tommy]

i think pictures would help advance this discussion.

[KNorthrup]

I love the scene in The Jerk when Steve Martin develops a "drinking problem." The misdirection is meant to get you thinking that he has become an alcoholic, but then the visual is that whenever he goes to take a sip of something he misses his mouth.

That was a running gag in Airplane too.

I did something similar in college. Was raising the glass to my mouth when a friend walked in who - the last time I had seen him - had declared his beyond-platonic interest and been turned down and my mind sort of cramped and the glass tilted before it had actually reached my mouth and poured all over everywhere. He found it hilarious. Broke the ice, I guess.

Draining pasta once I somehow completely missed the sink and my shorts-clad (unclad) thighs got a direct hit. Blistered like nobody's business.

[Lady T]

Update: Lunch today.

Chili.

*Phone rings*

Splat.

*Sigh.*

Dab.

Edited August 28, 2003 by Lady T (log)

[Fat Guy]

If we get updates on each spill, we'll easily overtake the "Dinner" thread.

[hjshorter]

Any other large-breasted women on the site? Please speak up. Thanks.

(Note, pursuant to our privacy policy we will not sell this data. It is purely for our personal internal use.)

*raising hand*

Yep. Same problem.

Another one here.

My most embarrassing stains happened when I was pregnant.

I stopped at Starbucks every morning for a decaf, and almost always bumped my huge stomach on the condiment bar. It seems that no one is able to put milk or sugar in their coffee without spilling it. Most days my shirts had a lovely mocha line just out of my line of sight.

The night before Emma was born Scott took me to a nice restaurant, sort of a last-meal-out-before-having-to-get-a-sitter kinda thing. I ordered a very drippy pasta and was at least two feet from my plate. You get the idea. After the first disastrous bite I was the only one there with my napkin tucked into my shirt.

[Lady T]

"...we'll easily overtake the 'Dinner' thread."

Can't have that, FG. I'll desist. Or eat more neatly.

Edited August 28, 2003 by Lady T (log)

[tejon]

I'm extremely large breasted and I'm always wearing food.  There is no way a dropped piece of food could get past them.  I do not wear white when we're going out to eat, as I will wear the food in spectacular ways, should I tempt fate.

Same here. Now, when I go out to eat I make sure to wear something with lots of color and a pattern, or something black. Preferably washable. Nothing like having dots of whatever you were eating center stage across your chest

[rxrfrx]

OK, so maybe it wasn't spilling food on myself so much as on other people, but I think it's worthy of mention:

One day in high school freshman Spanish class, we all had to do presenations on some part of Hispanic culture. These two girls brought in hot, sticky, sweet, goopy fried plantains and walked around the room with a tray of them. Each student, sitting at his desk, was supposed to take one... I took one and immediately put it in my mouth, before the girls had walked on to the next person... I somehow managed to let it go down the wrong way, immediately coughed, tried to keep my mouth closed but didn't completely succeed, and sprayed coughed-up plantain goop all over my hands and desk. And on this girl. For a freshman, her composure was remarkable. I kept waiting for a brutal comment but she just wiped herself off and walked away.

About getting out food stains: Nothing gets the job like a little OxyClean (or generic equivalent).

[KateW]

I find that oxyclean doesn't work unless you do it RIGHT away, and that can prove difficult if I get dirty in class or somewhere else where I can't treat the clothing right away. How do you do it?

[tanabutler]

While living for one week on a boat with many other people, I wanted to share one of my favorite condiments—Annie's Sesame Shiitake salad dressing.

Everyone was so excited when I brought it to the table. I shook the still-sealed bottle only to learn that even a still-sealed bottle (with the black plastic wrapping on the top) can lose its lid and the wrapper in mid-shake, thereby coating the shaker and the person nearest her in, um, a really aromatic and intensely oily substance.

He was such a good sport.

I'm not much of a spiller, but when I do, the twins take the brunt.

Edited August 28, 2003 by tanabutler (log)

[rxrfrx]

I find that oxyclean doesn't work unless you do it RIGHT away, and that can prove difficult if I get dirty in class or somewhere else where I can't treat the clothing right away.  How do you do it?

I've actually found that a scoop or two of oxyclean in a load of laundry will do for a lot of stains (in combination with my normal detergent)... and other times I've just made a paste, rubbed it in, then let it sit, then put it in a minimal amount of water in the washer, added some more oxyclean, run the washer for a few minutes, then let it sit for like 6-10 hours, then run the rest of the cycle.

[Rachel Perlow]

What do you guys use to remove stains? Rachel uses SHOUT, with a modicum of success. But some things never come out entirely.

if i may be so bold jason, i'm always impressed at how stain-free your shirts are when i see you at the beginning of dinner.

Thank you.

When Jason says I use Shout. I don't just use Shout. I use Shout Gel. The trigger bottles of Shout or Spray & Wash do not work as well as Shout Gel. The Spray & Wash stick is OK, but the Gel with the scrubby brush on top is the best. My laundry day mostly consists of spreading out Jason's shirts in front of me, one at a time, and scrubbing Shout Gel into each stain. Then I wash them with a pre-wash or soak cycle with a regular detergent like Tide or Arm & Hammer in our front loading Whirlpool Duet washer.

These shirts I speak of are mostly t-shirts and golf shirts. Nice button down (especially white) shirts go to the cleaners.

[Lounge Lizard]

I cant get out of the driveway with out spilling my coffee on my shirt. So I have had this idea for awhile.

A drivers bib! Just like the ones kids use with the plastic catch all on the bottom. Even would have a condiment container for your ketchup and a place to put your fries.

I can see the commercial on late night TV......

"Ok honey I'm off to the interview".

"Good luck dear we sure need this job". Kids by the door looking sad.

Guy driving in heavy traffic with his coffee and egg mcmuffin.......

Screech!....spills all over his shirt.

Later, the interview getting nasty looks from the interviewers.

Pulling in to the driveway wife at the door crying.

This could have been prevented with...The drivers bib.

[jmcgrath]

So I take it nobody is familiar with Messy Girl dot com?

WARNING: ADULT MATERIAL IN LINK

Reminds me of the mud people at Woodstock.

Jim

[jmcgrath]

I was hanging out at a bar in Tempe, AZ and having an animated discussion with another guy seated on the other side of his date. We reached agreement on some topic or other and clinked beer mugs, perhaps too aggresively. My mug shattered and the contents landed on her lap. His date and her problem :-)

Jim

[bloviatrix]

My stomach hurts from laughing so hard while reading this thread. It's a good thing I'm not eating, because I'd be spraying my food.

My worst spill was 14 years ago, when I was an intern at a consulting firm. It was morning. I sat down at my desk with a cup of coffee when the phone rang. Within seconds, there was coffee covering everything, including me. I was wearing a light colored suit, and I was scheduled to give a presentation to one of the Principals that afternoon. I ran into the bathroom and started to cry.

Nowadays, I'm fairly neat, except when I'm wearing something light-colored and expensive. There is a direct correlation between cost of item of clothing and type of stain.

[Fat Guy]

Today I kicked over a bottle of soda. Why was there a bottle of soda on the floor, you ask? Well, I put it there. I was sitting in my chair and there wasn't space on what passes for my desk, so I put it on the floor. When I did this, I said to myself, this is probably not a good idea because someone could come along and kick this over. But, I replied to myself, I'm home alone in the house so who but me would kick it over? A few minutes later, I got up from my chair and kicked it over.

Watch out, "Dinner" thread.

[Priscilla]

Hey!

[Carolyn Tillie]

(Note, pursuant to our privacy policy we will not sell this data. It is purely for our personal internal use.)

-- how "internal" are we talking here????

And, for the record, I'm 40DD.

So there.

[NewYorkTexan]

When I worked in midtown Manhattan right out of college, I used to keep a clean shirt and tie along with a shaving kit in my locker at the club across the street from my office. My friends all assumed it that it was for changing after a hard night of drinking, I could shower, change my shirt/tie and go straight to the office (men can get away with wearing the same dark blue or grey suit for a few days in a row). Maybe that happed twice in four years. In reality, I used to go change to a clean shirt before client meetings after splattering my shirt during lunch. I did that so often that it became a running joke with the locker room attendant that the only exercise I ever did was changing my shirt.

Most embarrassing stain was when I was a waiter, I accidentally spilled coffee on a bride while she was waiting outside the chapel about to walk down the aisle..........a coffee urn, not just a little cup.

[Katherine]

It looks like there's a market for eGullet protective tablewear.

I find that oily stains respond well to spotting with Dawn dishwashing liquid diluted 50% with water.

[fifi]

It looks like there's a market for eGullet protective tablewear.

AHA! I was right!