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Becoming a chef vs. home life (wife)?

ledervin

By ledervin
in Restaurant Life

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ledervin

ledervin

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I am 26 and about to get married. Born in France with find food all around me all of my life I have always, loved cooking, loved food, more than most any other interest. Never known whether a career in the restaurant business would turn me into hating food or grow my love. One thing is for sure, my soon to be wife almost had a heartattack when I asked her if it would be allright for me to take on a position in my Unlce's french restaurant. The thought of her coming home alone everynight is not what she is looking for in a husband. However, she loves me and does not want to see my dreams shattered. Can anyone shed some light on this subject....PLEASE!

Thanks~ :unsure:

Well don't just stand there......get some glue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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cigalechanta

cigalechanta

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If you have no children, how about hiring her as hostess?..hatcheck, something so you don't drift apart and fall into the hands of chef groupies.

Sharing food with another human being is an intimate act that should not be indulged in lightly....MFK Fisher

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Chef/Writer Spencer

Chef/Writer Spencer

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What/who do you love more? I'm not trying to be flip. Really, getting into the restaurant biz, at least full time, is like being married, except you're tethered to something that tends to put undue stress on even the best marriages. I know first hand. I divorced my wife/girlfriend of 8 years after realizing that I couldn't do anything else with my life. I had to keep cooking for many other reasons but when you're wife isn't in the biz it's hard to keep it together. Mine was a nurse. Maybe you could do some part time stuff and see if you can swing a marriage too.....

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Basildog

Basildog

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If you have to ask, then don't become a chef.If you have been at it for years, then get married, then you know what to expect..the wife knows the score.Going into later in life will be hard.Chefs make big sacifices for the job...i worked Fathers Day again this year, and will probably miss my daughter being a bridesmaid at a family wedding because of a prior commitment i made to a customer. :sad: My wife is very understanding!

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inventolux

inventolux

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I met my wife as a guest chef at CT's. She already knew what she was in for(i work for pleasure, and I work alot). It works out great for the both of us, but thats very rare. Be careful, start out with a easy job first, baking breads in the morning perhaps so you can see each other in the evening. (this isnt to say a bakers life is easy) Or working lunches somewhere. But dont go for a position at a high end restaurant working nights right away.......youll be sorry.

Future Food - our new television show airing 3/30 @ 9pm cst:

http://planetgreen.discovery.com/tv/future-food/

Hope you enjoy the show! Homaro Cantu

Chef/Owner of Moto Restaurant

www.motorestaurant.com

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maggiethecat

maggiethecat

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I don't know if you're in a position to do this, but wouldn't it be great to open a petite inn somewhere.  You could live and work in the same place.  Is this overly romantic?

Yes.

Friends of ours thought it was romantic...and it was. A little inn in New Bern, NC.

For about two years. They sold the Inn and saved the marriage.

Margaret McArthur

"Take it easy, but take it."

Studs Terkel

1912-2008

A sensational tennis blog from freakyfrites

margaretmcarthur.com

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ledervin

ledervin

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What/who do you love more?  I'm not trying to be flip.  Really, getting into the restaurant biz, at least full time, is like being married, except you're tethered to something that tends to put undue stress on even the best marriages.  I know first hand.  I divorced my wife/girlfriend of 8 years after realizing that I couldn't do anything else with my life.  I had to keep  cooking for many other reasons but when you're wife isn't in the biz it's hard to keep it together.  Mine was a nurse.  Maybe you could do some part time stuff and see if you can swing a marriage too.....

Spencer,

It all ended because of too much devotion to food and not enough to your woman or was there more to it than that??????

An Inn sounds cute, but she doesn't really cook and has a well established career...though she complains about it often....I love her, love food...can't they work together? I feel like I'll be stuck to at home gourmet chef? I had thrown around the idea of catering with a buddy of mine who is in the industry...thought that would be less of the every night shift kind of thing.....morning shift sounds nice too..but I need to make some money to live and can't get a morning bread job and swing another to make enough money i imagine.

Well don't just stand there......get some glue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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NeroW

NeroW

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I was in rock star mode and my wife was in we just had two kids back to back and I need a break mode.

You've got kids?

Holy shit, dude, that's the scariest thing I've ever read on the Internet.

Noise is music. All else is food.

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swissmiss

swissmiss

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I had thrown around the idea of catering with a buddy of mine who is in the industry...thought that would be less of the every night shift kind of thing

My husband worked for a caterer when we were in school: 18-hour shifts, never a free weekend or holiday, and when he was home he was too tired to go anywhere. Not so different from life as a chef!

Anne E. McBride

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NeroW

NeroW

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I was in rock star mode and my wife was in we just had two kids back to back and I need a break mode.

You've got kids?

Holy shit, dude, that's the scariest thing I've ever read on the Internet.

Got a pic of me with them...for the right price...believe or not, I'm the best dad around.... :smile:

What are you asking?

Noise is music. All else is food.

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elyse

elyse

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I was in rock star mode and my wife was in we just had two kids back to back and I need a break mode.

You've got kids?

Holy shit, dude, that's the scariest thing I've ever read on the Internet.

:laugh:

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NeroW

NeroW

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I guess kids, wife, and chef mix like oil and water :cool:

Not necessarily...I've got the best relationship ever with my kids. My ex? Fuck her.

:laugh:

Noise is music. All else is food.

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pastramionrye

pastramionrye

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this is quite an interesting topic as i am about to get engaged and am currently working 55 hours a week.

my girlfriend pushed me into the industry because she knew how it made me happier than anything to cook; but now that she is working and out of school, she is a little bummed about coming home from work and being all alone.

working lunch isnt a bad way to start; and their are plenty of fine dining restaurants that do lunch...so you can be around great food and also be home for dinner.

as for catering, i think if you took on a capable partner...the two of you could alleviate eachother a lot of the pain and super long hours...and if the business came really successful, the two of you could employ your significant others.

that being said...there is no formula for restaurant industry=divorce....two of my chefs had young children and worked long hours and their marriage was good.

Nothing quite like a meal with my beautiful wife.

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