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How to Cook a Steak - Not.


liuzhou

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My local supermarkets have taken to selling these "steaks".

 

box.jpg

 

Back in September, I tried one, as reported here. It was as bad as I expected.

 

Yesterday, I noticed that they have helpfully put up a large sign informing their eager customers how to cook the things.  Seems I did it all wrong.

 

steak1.thumb.jpg.1b8a88feb848293ff1f6fb5aab3baaac.jpg

According the 8 step instructions I should:

 

1. Prepare all the ingredients.

(Note: they don't tell you what those ingredients are)

 

2. Immerse the steak in Worcestershire Sauce, making sure the steak is completely submerged. Soak for at least half an hour.

(Note: the supermarket does not sell Worcestershire sauce)

 

3. Place the steak on oiled tinfoil/aluminum foil and place in a preheated oven at 400F (204C) for 45 minutes.

 

Note:

a) No one has an oven.
b) China, like almost all countries, uses Celcius. No one here would know what F is, but I love the precision of the conversion.

 

4. Boil an egg.

 

5. Cut broccoli into small pieces and slice shiitake mushrooms. Boil the broccoli with salt and seasonings and add a little oil to preserve the colour.

 

7. Heat a wok, add butter and fry the shiitake with garlic, salt and other seasonings.

 

8. Turn the steak over to avoid burning. Plate it. Serve with A1 sauce.

Note:
a) yes, the supermarket doesn't have A1 sauce. In fact, I've never seen it in China.

b) what happened to the egg and vegetables?

 

The final result.

 

steak2.thumb.jpg.69b8aff5872df20bf79824592501609f.jpg

 

Looks wonderful. I'll get it right next time!

Edited by liuzhou (log)
  • Like 9

...your dancing child with his Chinese suit.

 

"No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot"
Mark Twain
 

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3 minutes ago, Thanks for the Crepes said:

But shouldn't this be in Food Funnies?

 

I did consider that option, but decided it is too tragic to go there. Too sadly amusing.

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...your dancing child with his Chinese suit.

 

"No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot"
Mark Twain
 

The Kitchen Scale Manifesto

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WOW.  I am quite fond of Worcestershire sauce but I never thought of soaking my steak in it.  

Ah wait.  45 mins x 400F = beef jerky.  It is beginning to make sense. 

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Anna Nielsen aka "Anna N"

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12 minutes ago, Shelby said:

O.o

 

 

I think the egg boiling was to give you something to do while you wait for your jerky to be done.

 

Or something to eat when you found the meat inedible.

  • Like 5

...your dancing child with his Chinese suit.

 

"No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot"
Mark Twain
 

The Kitchen Scale Manifesto

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