I will never again . . . (Part 1)

[cbarre02]

I will never again... use an unrolled edged sheetpan to bake a batch of flourless chocolate cake. The pan buckled in the oven... while the batter was still liquid. I didn't check on it until about 25 minutes into the cooking... well you can imagine the rest

[fifi]

I will never again... use an unrolled edged sheetpan to bake a batch of flourless chocolate cake. The pan buckled in the oven... while the batter was still liquid. I didn't check on it until about 25 minutes into the cooking... well you can imagine the rest

Hee, Hee.

A similar occurrence was what drove me to the restaurant supply store to purchase a half a dozen heavy aluminum half sheet pans. In my case, I had a custard like recipe in cups that I placed on a cheap pan. A few minutes into the baking the pan went "SPROING!". What a mess.

[FistFullaRoux]

And speaking of spicy never agains...

I once, on a dare, tasted something from an avowed chili head's fridge. It was in an unmarked babyfood jar. He presents the jar to me with a teaspoon. "Just try it." he says.

Kim chee seasoning. Pure unadulterated kim chee seasoning from his Korean grandmother. I thought I was being smart. I barely touched the surface of the spoon to this stuff, and barely touched my tounge.

I cried. 4 hours, half a gallon of milk, and the better part of a bottle of Southern Comfort later, my tounge began functioning again. This was the purest hot I have ever tasted. I later found out that the full jar was a sufficient amount to season 4 full 5 gallon crocks.

Oh, that hurt.

[Anna N]

...

For those who have been bitten by the little teeth on the Saran Wrap package, I just found a brand -- and darnit, already forgot which one -- but it uses a plastic cutter that looks a lot like those ziplock bag closers.  No more metal teeth, hooray!

These may have been out a while, but I just discovered them.

I just discovered this at my daughter's house and am madly trying to plastic wrap everything in sight so I can get one without a guilty conscience.

[johnny70]

i'll never again eat a very large spoon of homemade english mustard for a bet. I only got £5.00 for it.

My stomach wasn't the same for a week!

JOHNNY

[EdS]

I was making a large amount of potato and leek soup the other night. I peeled the potatoes, cleaned and chopped the leeks, boiled them. Ran about a half dozen batches through the blender. I wanted a particularly fine consistency so I spent a fair amount of time pushing this through a chinois. Soup tasted great but was a bit runny. I had added too much liquid. So I decided to reduce it all. I filled my 8-quart dutch oven and set my burner...to HIGH...and left the room to surf eGullet. What was I thinking?

Well, you can guess what happened. I got caught up in some thread and then smelled something burning. Soup looked okay. I grabbed a wooden spoon and stirred. Would you like some soup with your charcoal? Perhaps some potato and leek carbon-ara?

OK, those of you with me so far are thinking that my point of this post is to advise you to never use too much heat with a thick mixture and especially don't leave it unattended. Well, that's besides the point.

What was I reading while making charcoal soup? THIS

Start to finish. It was painful. I will never read "that thread" (say it like Bill Clinton) again.

But hey, it gave me something to do while soaking my pot.

Edited December 15, 2003 by esvoboda (log)

[marinade]

I will never....

Napalm Muscouvey Duck Breast. Looked like an interesting recipe. Called for 1 canned chipolte chili, only I didn't see the "ned" behind the can and emptied an entire one into the sauce.

Walk away from a deep fried turkey. This was actually last Thanksgiving and my wife and 2 dogs were over our friend's house for Thanksgiving. I was testing brines for a cookbook revision and my friend Dave (who was born and bred in Bocalousa, LA) suggested we fry the bird. We assembled the fryer out of the way of the dogs, poured the peanut oil into the pot, lit the burner and waited for the temp to hit 375o. We lowered the Turkey and walked away to have some soup (Butternut Squash with Maple Smoked Turkey Jerky). Midway through the soup, one of my dogs was barking his head off, after some nudging/nagging from my wife I went out to see. Well the bark translated to "Lassie go get help, Timmy's trapped in the old mine shaft". I walked over to the fryer and noticed the bird's leg "knuckle" was dark! I went back and got Dave and we pulled the bird out of the bubblin' ooze (oil that is) and the Turkey was shoe polish black! When we lowered the turkey at 350o and walked away the oil went to 400o...425o...475o... and upwards to 550o. We never turned down the gas jet. We did mangage to salvage some of the internal meat, good brine ... though the turkey recipe probaly won't make the cookbook.

Jim T

[browniebaker]

. . . microwave the butter too long when trying to melt it. You hear a loud "pop!" and have a greasy, spattered interior of the microwave oven to clean up.

Problem is, I say i'll never do this again, but I keep doing it!

[Toliver]

. . . microwave the butter too long when trying to melt it. You hear a loud "pop!" and have a greasy, spattered interior of the microwave oven to clean up.

Problem is, I say i'll never do this again, but I keep doing it!

My mom used to do this, too! Now she puts the butter in a small Corning Ware dish and covers it with a paper towel (the dish is a deep one so the paper towel doesn't make contact with the butter). Now if it goes "pop!" it gets the paper towel and not the microwave oven.

[rgruby]

HI,

Haven't read the whole thread, but roasting an eggplant in the oven without making sure it has a goodly number of pricks in it can cause consternation. And swearing. Lots of swearing.

Cheers,

Geoff Ruby

[johnny70]

I will never again....

leave the lid off the blender while blending tomato sauce, soup and take your pick how many times i've done this in the last 16 years of cooking.

or

drop a 20 ltr bucket of mayonnaise from a great height without the lid, what a mess!

Regards

JOHNNY

[Suzanne F]

And to build on Johnny's: stick a spoon deep into the blender container filled with pea puree without turning off the motor. Can you say, pea puree on the ceiling for days, slowing turning gray?

(Actually only did this once. Sometimes we DO learn )

[browniebaker]

. . . microwave the butter too long when trying to melt it. You hear a loud "pop!" and have a greasy, spattered interior of the microwave oven to clean up.

Problem is, I say i'll never do this again, but I keep doing it!

My mom used to do this, too! Now she puts the butter in a small Corning Ware dish and covers it with a paper towel (the dish is a deep one so the paper towel doesn't make contact with the butter). Now if it goes "pop!" it gets the paper towel and not the microwave oven.

Very good tip. Thanks! (Sometimes I do learn something.)

[Simple]

...slice jalapenos and THEN decide to put in my contact lenses.

amen - and then have to put them back in for a league basketball game a half-hour drive away -

[Simple]

I've done some of the things listed, and thesse probably aren't new, but they are things I should stop doing.

  Do not, as oft mentioned already, grab a cast iron pan that has been in a 500 degree oven.  It's hard to sleep while trying to hold a bottle of ice.  Although the scars do show the proper way to grip a pan.

  I'm pretty sure someone has already issued a warning about hot sauce, if not...do not take a deep whiff from the pan of whatever hot sauce you are making.  It will make you cry.  And don't lick the top of the hot sauce bottle either.

  Now this is a do, DO take the time to make that you have the right measuring spoon.  You can't pick out the extra salt.

  It seems obvious in retrospect, but don't blow away the flour (pepper, etc) on the edge of the bowl.  You really can't blow away just that little bit.

  Oh, almost forgot.  It's never a good idea to dry off a sharp knife.  With a paper towel.  Even if you fold it several times.

Learned the paper towel knife-wipe lesson just this year, after buying a new scalloped carving knife about 15" long. Sometimes you feel the burn before the slice.

[Simple]

Just remembered this one - brought my fellow waiters back to the apartment after a post-Saturday-night-close drinking session to cook ribeye steaks for six of us. One at a time in cast iron pan - maybe I should have drained out the fat before I flipped the sixth one in towards my forearm on the panhandle instead of away from it.

The pregnant wife asleep in the one bedroom didn't mind me entertaining, but the flesh-eating bacteria look to my arm was disconcerting.

[laurenmilan]

Try to make chocolate mousse with light cream (hey, I thought light cream was whipping cream, cuz whipped cream is light, and heavy cream is too heavy, you can only use it for sauces.... right?)

I got a call from my mom while doing this, and mentioned the problem. She laughed so hard I'm surprised she didn't disconnect.

Cut me some slack, I was 19!

[nessa]

After cackling over the last 15 pages, here's my input.

I'll never again drop a bottle of tabasco sauce. I blistered in the pattern it splashed my legs. For two weeks. Needless to say I don't touch peppers of any sort other than green without both gloves AND a mask. I blister in direct contact with capsaicin. In foods it kills me for about 2 days, but who cares, its so worth that habanero burn.

I will NEVER, EVER use a mixer without putting my long tresses up.

I'm short. 4'8.5" to be exact. In a nice breezy kitchen, my hair drifts easily into the bowl of what is being mixed. Who knew. I was mixing up some cheesecake, and had my screen door open. My hair drifted into the bowl just about the time I realized the peril. I panicked and managed to turn the damn thing off. Then back on while trying to eject the beaters. I had to go ask my neighbors help to remove the beaters and for a drive to the ER. I had a bald strip one inch wide and 5 inches long in a crescent moon shape on the top right side of my scalp. Luckily no permanent damage was done other than making that little landing strip a bit curlier. That was 2 years ago. I put my hair up when I enter the kitchen. It made me realize also, how close my hair is to the open flame of the gas stove. Being short is not an asset in the kitchen!! Who knew beaters could do so much damage?

Thank goodness it started growing back after a few months.

[s'kat]

I will NEVER, EVER use a mixer without putting my long tresses up.

I'm wincing just imagining this one!

[GSBravo]

In a nice breezy kitchen, my hair drifts easily into the bowl of what is being mixed.

My apologies for chuckling at the lovely visual you have provided.

[nessa]

Thats OK. My neighbors chuckled all the way to the ER.

I'm glad they were my best friends, otherwise I might have just sat there with gooey beaters tangled in my hair, it would have been too humiliating to ask strangers for assistance, and I couldn't exactly drive with dripping beaters clinging tenaciously to my tresses.

[elyse]

I'm sorry, but this is really funny. Poor thing!

[nessa]

It was funny a few months later, when my hair started growing back....

But seriously, it was a learning experience. Its common sense, to put one's hair up in the kitchen I guess, I just never thought of it. It was a wake up call. I was lucky that it was just a measly kitchen aid hand held, not the 6 qt pro stand model that I crave so dearly. In chrome, for those who might wish to send me something for christmas.......

The ER doc said that he's seen a person's scalp ripped wide open from the stronger ones. Eek.

[pmathus]

This has also been known to happen with power drills, angle grinders, and all manner of other crazy high powered rotary tools. . . watch the 8 pound tool climb up into your hair and smack you in the side of the head at light speed, oh yess, good times.

[bloviatrix]

This has also been known to happen with power drills, angle grinders, and all manner of other crazy high powered rotary tools. . . watch the 8 pound tool climb up into your hair and smack you in the side of the head at light speed, oh yess, good times.

And beware of blow torches.

I set my hair on fire annealing silver. Burnt hair gives off a nasty smell, and freaks out everyone around you.