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Food Network Chefs

Ron Johnson

By Ron Johnson
in Food Media & Arts

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Skawt

Skawt

Posted
Posted

Did you catch the episode of Molto Mario where Tony was one of the three folks at the counter?

I saw that one and started thinking how fun it would be if Food Network paired up a bunch of chefs and put them in the kitchen together. Here are my unlikely pairings. I've refrained from putting my own comments in parenthesis...

Rachel Ray and Anthony Bourdain doing 30 minute meals in Rachel's Kitchen.

Martha Stewart and Bobby Flay in Martha's kitchen

Alton Brown and Mario Battali in Mario's kitchen

Nigella Lawson and Tyler Florence in the Iron Chef stadium

Oh, I think that would be a terribly bad idea. I think the only one that would work would be Alton and Mario, since they're both generally affable guys.

I think Tony would have beaten Rachel Ray's head in with a meat tenderizer before the first commercial. I know *I* would. Her entire personality seems to be made up of a series of smarmy affectations that annoy the hell out of me. Probably because her personality reminds me so much of my father's third wife - who is, to be as nice as possible, a f***ing moron.

I might like to see a Bobby Flay/Martha Stewart pairing, if only to see mayhem and bloodshed. I'll be cheering for whoever dies first, and then hope the other succumbs to internal bleeding and head trauma.

At least Jamie Oliver is only a fat-toungued wanker. You can pair him up with anyone that doesn't mind getting spit on.

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claire797

claire797

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Posted
I think Tony would have beaten Rachel Ray's head in with a meat tenderizer before the first commercial.  I know *I* would.

Yup. Bloodshed and mayhem on the Food Network. That's what I was going for.

Mario and Alton would be the exception. I need a better"unlikely pairing" for these two since they seem like they could get along with anyone. I just can't visualize either one of these guys beating someone over the head with a meat tenderizer. :hmmm:

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tommy

tommy

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Mario and Alton would be the exception.   I need a better"unlikely pairing" for these two since they seem like they could get along with anyone.   I just can't visualize either one of these guys beating someone over the head with a meat tenderizer.  :hmmm:

actually, i could see them beating Booby Flay over the head with a meat tenderizer. or maybe that's just wishful thinking. :wink:

i have to admit, i was just thinking yesterday that Booby doesn't annoy me half as much as he used to. i think it was primarily his interaction with his phoney-friends in that mock NYC apartment, and his impudent treament of jaqui that really got on my nerves. a dispicable man then, and only slightly obnoxious now. but hey, i'm slightly obnoxious too, so i can't fault him for that.

tommy:eats.com
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Jinmyo

Jinmyo

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Jacqui Maloub is equivalent to Gordon Elliot.

"I've caught you Richardson, stuffing spit-backs in your vile maw. 'Let tomorrow's omelets go empty,' is that your fucking attitude?" -E. B. Farnum

"Behold, I teach you the ubermunch. The ubermunch is the meaning of the earth. Let your will say: the ubermunch shall be the meaning of the earth!" -Fritzy N.

"It's okay to like celery more than yogurt, but it's not okay to think that batter is yogurt."

Serving fine and fresh gratuitous comments since Oct 5 2001, 09:53 PM

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tommy

tommy

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Jacqui Maloub is equivalent to Gordon Elliot.

i love gordon elliot!! c'mon, Door Knock Dinners is one of my favorite shows. he's quite quick on his feet. and he's very tall. very.

i love how 99% of the families are working dad, stay-at-home mom, in a 5000 square foot home in some well-heeled part of connecticut or NJ.

tommy:eats.com
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g.johnson

g.johnson

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Mario and Alton would be the exception.   I need a better"unlikely pairing" for these two since they seem like they could get along with anyone.  

Mario Batalli and Marco Pierre White. Mario worked for MPW and apparently hates him (though with admingled respect).

Alton Brown and anyone British. He gets up our noses something rotten.

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tommy

tommy

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She's her same annoying, obnoxious self!

now, i know it's all about perception, but how is she obnoxious? is it her youthful exurberance? it seems she looks people in the eye when she speaks to them and she smiles a lot. i can think of a few people not fitting that bill who i'd considered to be "obnoxious." :biggrin:

tommy:eats.com
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claire797

claire797

Posted
Posted (edited)
She's her same annoying, obnoxious self!

now, i know it's all about perception, but how is she obnoxious? is it her youthful exurberance? it seems she looks people in the eye when she speaks to them and she smiles a lot. i can think of a few people not fitting that bill who i'd considered to be "obnoxious." :biggrin:

She doesn't bother me either.

Gordon E.'s okay too. I've only seen him on Follow That Food though -- had never even heard of Door Knock Dinners until today.

Edited by claire797 (log)
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Skawt

Skawt

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Gordon E.'s okay too.  I've only seen him on Follow That Food though -- had never even heard of Door Knock Dinners until today.

Gordon used to be on the local Fox affiliate morning news show in NYC. He's only mildly annoying. I reserve giving the finger to the TV for Martha Stewart, Bobby Flake and Dubya.

The best Door Knock Dinner had to be when Iron Chef was in NYC (against le Flake, no less), and Morimoto and Michiba went and made dinner out of ingredients in the kitchen. It was rather interesting, but I wouldn't want them to come into my house and have them find only frozen fish sticks, individually wrapped processed cheese slices and hot dogs.

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Jinmyo

Jinmyo

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My thing with Gordon Elliot and Jacqui Maloub is that they're not cooking or doing anything useful. In my kitchen if you're not cooking, you're cleaning up. I watch a food show to see stuff about food. Not Gordon or Jacqui doing Gordon or Jacqui stuff. Put them on the Gordon and Jacqui Network, not FN.

"I've caught you Richardson, stuffing spit-backs in your vile maw. 'Let tomorrow's omelets go empty,' is that your fucking attitude?" -E. B. Farnum

"Behold, I teach you the ubermunch. The ubermunch is the meaning of the earth. Let your will say: the ubermunch shall be the meaning of the earth!" -Fritzy N.

"It's okay to like celery more than yogurt, but it's not okay to think that batter is yogurt."

Serving fine and fresh gratuitous comments since Oct 5 2001, 09:53 PM

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Jinmyo

Jinmyo

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Dave, no I don't.

Fortunately there are several programs such as Cook Like a Chef and Stadtlander (which I don't like for other reasons) on Food Network Canada that are actually about cooking and food as such.

When I first started receiving FN Canada I watched television more than I ever had. Now that there are no new episodes of Molto or Mario Eats Italy and Alton Brown is on at an inconvenient time and and and... I just turn it on a few times a week to watch something for half an hour or so.

"I've caught you Richardson, stuffing spit-backs in your vile maw. 'Let tomorrow's omelets go empty,' is that your fucking attitude?" -E. B. Farnum

"Behold, I teach you the ubermunch. The ubermunch is the meaning of the earth. Let your will say: the ubermunch shall be the meaning of the earth!" -Fritzy N.

"It's okay to like celery more than yogurt, but it's not okay to think that batter is yogurt."

Serving fine and fresh gratuitous comments since Oct 5 2001, 09:53 PM

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tommy

tommy

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My thing with Gordon Elliot and Jacqui Maloub is that they're not cooking or doing anything useful. In my kitchen if you're not cooking, you're cleaning up. I watch a food show to see stuff about food. Not Gordon or Jacqui doing Gordon or Jacqui stuff. Put them on the Gordon and Jacqui Network, not FN.

that's what PBS is for. :wink:

tommy:eats.com
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Jinmyo

Jinmyo

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Boys, boys... Take your magazines and go out back.

"I've caught you Richardson, stuffing spit-backs in your vile maw. 'Let tomorrow's omelets go empty,' is that your fucking attitude?" -E. B. Farnum

"Behold, I teach you the ubermunch. The ubermunch is the meaning of the earth. Let your will say: the ubermunch shall be the meaning of the earth!" -Fritzy N.

"It's okay to like celery more than yogurt, but it's not okay to think that batter is yogurt."

Serving fine and fresh gratuitous comments since Oct 5 2001, 09:53 PM

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  • 3 weeks later...
Cheffie3

Cheffie3

Posted
Posted

I'm not sure if this was mentioned before or not, but two Fridays ago I turned on FoodTV at 6:30 expecting to see Food911, but was pleasantly surprised to see Ina Garten (Barefoot Contessa) with her own show. I like the show, she's seems natural and straighforward. And the food looks great.

They've also added a show on Saturday called Paula's home cooking with Paula Deen. Her show seems pretty good as well. Or maybe I'm just so happy to see some new faces on FoodTV. Either way, they are worth a looksee.

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pixelchef

pixelchef

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I'm an FN Canada foodie, so I'm assuming a lot of you won't know some of the chefs I mention. But here goes anyway:

Wonderful: Rob Feenie (New Classics), Michael Smith (Chef at Large, Inn Chef), Anna Olson (Sugar), Jamie Oliver (Oliver's Twist).

Adequate: Mario Batali (Malto Mario), Ming Tsai (East Meets West), Sara Moulton (Sara's Secrets), Nigella Lawson (Forever Summer, Nigella Bites), Martin Yan (Yan's Chinatowns)

Poop: Emeril Lagasse (Emeril Live), Bobby Flay (Hot Off the Grill), James Barber (Urban Peasant), Rachel Ray (30-Minute Meals)

I hate Emeril Lagasse. As others have mentioned, he is a HUGE source of misinformation. Not only with his cooking, but with the English language. I'm continually amazed just how dumb he really is.

I hate Bobby Flay. I just can't stand the guy. They've actually stopped airing his programs here in Canada, and I'm so thankful. He's such an unwarrantedly cocky bastard. Down with Flay!

Rachel Ray does not deserve a spot on television. NOYCE! BEEAAAUUTIFULLL! (in manly voice)

Rob Feenie (Exec. Chef / Lumiere) is incredible, as is Michael Smith. Both are genuine, and incredibly talented. I've met both in person, and they're so kind. My two favourite Canadian chefs.

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claire797

claire797

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Has anyone seen Bob Blumer's show, "The Surreal Gourmet"?

Cheffie, I've been meaning to catch Ina Garten's show but my husband keeps coming in and changing the channel. I like her recipes.

Paula Dean's okay too if thick Southern accents don't annoy you.

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SteveW

SteveW

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FYI, The Food Network in the US is airing the first season of The Surreal Gourmet(he only made a limited amount of episodes. Maybe around 8-12 episodes, in the first season). Here, Food Network Canada, is airing the second season. I do like Bob Blumer & the show. Incidently he's coming to Montreal as one of the guest chefs(not really a chef) for the next edition of the Montreal High Lights Festival. Bob was born in Montreal, but is now based in California.

--------------

Steve

Edited by SteveW (log)
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