"Make Them Pay"

[DonRocks]

Make Them Pay by The Washington Post's Ben Giliberti.

[FunJohnny]

WoW This borders on Swift's "A Modest Proposal". But seriously, how 'bout a similar policy recommendation for all the places that sell cheap swill by the glass, often from a bottle that was opened in the Stone Age. How often has anyone out there been confronted by an annoyed bar tender upon requesting that he open a fresh bottle to pour a glass -- even though the mark-up on most wines by the glass assures that a profit is obtained by the second glass poured from the bottle?

Edited August 4, 2004 by FunJohnny (log)

[pastramionrye]

I think this guy Giliberti owes me 5 minutes of my life back...

[Ralph Wiggum]

You think mark-ups on wine in restaurants are bad now, imagine how much more expensive they would be based on Giliberti's proposal. Absolutely ridiculous.

[DonRocks]

I'm a bit surprised more people aren't having a field day with this. Perhaps we can assume from the restaurant professionals' silence that they agree?

But just to stir the lees, here's a little poke a friend of mine wrote on a private forum (where people are jumping all over this article as being silly, ridiculous, name your adjective).

------

Traditionally, the sommelier appears at your table with the wine you ordered and pours a small amount of wine for evaluation into the silver tastevinage (tahst-vee-NAHJ) cup that hangs around his neck.

And he's blown this as well. The silver "cup" is a tastevin. A tastevinage is simply a burgundy selected by a tasting committee sanctioned by the Confrérie des Chevaliers du Tastevin and the bottle normally carries a sticker proclaiming so.

[sdelgato]

after reading this "experts" column for the past several years I can only say... is anyone surprised. I also got a kick on the vernacular "winespeak" lesson. Why does the Post sanction this guy. He ought to write for the Wine Spectator where he belongs!

[JPW]

The fact that I didn't even catch that when I read the food section yesterday morning tells you how out of it I have been this week.

But I'll rise to the bait Don.

This proposal is idiotic. Imbecilic.

To punish a restaurant for something that, as often as not, they have no control over? Impressively dumb.

If you could prove that a bottle was ruined by how a restaurant treated it, that would be one thing. Mighty hard to prove (except perhaps in the case of certain restaurants who have previously been called out on the treatment of their wine).

I can see a disgruntled busboy walking around trying to break the restaurant by using a syringe to pierce all the corks on the vintage reds.

Sorry, that's about as motivated as I can get in responding to this otherwise unnoteworthy thing that appeared where the wine reviews should have been.

Edited August 5, 2004 by JPW (log)

[John W.]

I'm a bit surprised more people aren't having a field day with this.  Perhaps we can assume from the restaurant professionals' silence that they agree? 

Nothing to see here folks.

[Nadya]

Okay, I'll jump in.

Short version: Ridiculous poppycock.

Long version: another sign of a major paper granting legitimacy to a never-ending quest for Things One Could Ask to Comp. If your steak is not done to your liking and you send it back to the kitchen, do you expect a free replacement? Or just another steak done to your liking served with profuse apologies?

Grrr.

[DonRocks]

Nothing to see here folks.

How's that chicken you're serving at the restaurant, John?

[John W.]

Nothing to see here folks.

How's that chicken you're serving at the restaurant, John?

It's great. Crisp skin, juicy.

[Nadya]

Nothing to see here folks.

How's that chicken you're serving at the restaurant, John?

It's great. Crisp skin, juicy.

Stoppit - some of us are having lunch at office desks, washing down Lean Quisine with Vin De Watercooler. (Okay, it's my lunch of shame...overslept today.) One more word about this chicken of yours and I'll throw my plastic dish at the wall and cry..

[Chef Shogun]

It's great. Crisp skin, juicy.

Sounds good, but if it's corked or something it's going right back to the cellar, and you'll owe me a free one.

Edited August 5, 2004 by Chef Shogun (log)

[KatieLoeb]

after reading this "experts" column for the past several years I can only say... is anyone surprised. I also got a kick on the vernacular "winespeak" lesson. Why does the Post sanction this guy. He ought to write for the Wine Spectator where he belongs!

I was thinking this more worthy of whatever the free doorstep throw-away bird cage liner local paper is down there.

This man is an idiot. A dangerous idiot that lesser fools consider an "expert". :shudder:

[NVNVGirl]

I was thinking this more worthy of whatever the free doorstep throw-away bird cage liner local paper is down there.

This man is an idiot. A dangerous idiot that lesser fools consider an "expert". :shudder:

[hathor]

What if the flatware offends me? Do I get a free meal? What if it rains on the day I made a reservation to dine on the terrace?

Katie's right... people will accept this idiot's view of the world just because its in print.

[morela]

What if the flatware offends me? Do I get a free meal? What if it rains on the day I made a reservation to dine on the terrace?

Katie's right... people will accept this idiot's view of the world just because its in print.

What if the $500 umbrella that I'm gonna make you replace doesn't have my monogram on it, but I want the new one to have it ? What if the soles of my shoes get dirty on your wooden floor? What if I'm on Atkins and I get sick of it and eat bread at your place? Gooooooooooooooo Awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

[DonRocks]

[There's a big difference between criticizing the article, and criticizing the man personally - please be careful about writing phrases such as "X is a Y"]

[hathor]

[There's a big difference between criticizing the article, and criticizing the man personally - please be careful about writing phrases such as "X is a Y"]

Ah yes...but, if we are what we eat, then are we not what we write?

Just teasing you a bit as you do make a valid point.

[HOOLIGAN]

[There's a big difference between criticizing the article, and criticizing the man personally - please be careful about writing phrases such as "X is a Y"]

Ah yes...but, if we are what we eat, then are we not what we write?

Just teasing you a bit as you do make a valid point.

Yeah if he eats donkey.

[iamthestretch]

Yeah if he eats donkey.

That's an entirely unfounded allegation. The video is grainy. It could be anyone.

Edited August 5, 2004 by iamthestretch (log)

[KatieLoeb]

[There's a big difference between criticizing the article, and criticizing the man personally - please be careful about writing phrases such as "X is a Y"]

Ah yes...but, if we are what we eat, then are we not what we write?

Just teasing you a bit as you do make a valid point.

Yeah if he eats donkey.

Let me make myself clearer, without the ad hominem attack.

The very idea that the restaurant should give out a free bottle to the customer that was second unlucky recipient (the restaurant being the FIRST "victim" in this scenario) of the flawed merchandise is patently absurd. It would drive costs through the roof and make it prohibitively expensive for any restaurant to continue to provide their customer base with a decent wine selection.

The fact that this "writer" lists his e-mail at the end of the article for restaurateurs to contact him when they adopt this idiotic suggestion of his, is truly telling of just how out of touch with reality this fellow really is. And when the top kitchens in the country start giving away free meals because it rained, or the customer at the next table sneezed, or whatever other occasionally occuring natural phenomena happened to occur during the Freeloader's meal, I'll call this guy up personally and let him know he's my hero.

Better now?

[John W.]

I've been quiet as I've had the adding machine fired up to see how many $16 roast chickens I need to sell to pay for the two sommeliers I've added to the payroll. Or what verbage I'd use when some guy gives me the stink eye for "drinking his wine." Or how much of a pretentious jackass I'd look like wearing a tastevin (or tastevinage depending on who you talk to) in the casual bistrot I work in. Nope, don't agree one bit.

I do my part to train my staff on flawed wine detection before the wine hits the guest. What I did not get from this article except "Make 'em pay" was Mr. Giliberti's part describing to the reader about what these flaws are, and how to detect them. What if the wine is only slightly affected by cork taint? What then? When is it acceptable to send back a bottle (please to add anecdotes from sommeliers)? With the circulation that the Washington Post has, how about a column dedicated to explaining the faults in wine and how to detect them? Would not that further your goal of eliminating flawed wine from crossing the consumer'slips? An admirable goal, that.

Before we go on and on about "making 'em pay," let's see the above article. Maybe, just maybe, consult some restaurant wine directors (but stay clear of the Washingtonian suggestions please).

Look ma, no insults.

Edited August 6, 2004 by John W. (log)

[KatieLoeb]

Or what about the high maintenance customer (and we know who they are, even if they don't themselves) that now believe they have license to "go fishing" on my Reserve List, to see how many bottles they can have opened for their pleasure, merely to be sent back with the dismissive wave of a hand saying "Oh - that wine is FLAWED (not that I actually understand what that means). I want a free bottle!" Let's give the scam artists a big INCENTIVE to come to our restaurants, shall we? I know all the other professionals out there will agree with me, that what we all need is a NEW DRAW for the freeloaders, don't we?

A dear friend of mine that runs a very fine restaurant recently had a guest that called for directions prior to their arrival. The direction were given to her by one of the waitstaff that was a native of that city and had lived there all of their lives. The customers GOT LOST on the way to the restaurant and were a few minutes late for their reservation. They were accomodated without any delay or comment from the staff. The customer then explained that she expected her meal to be comped because she'd received "bad directions" to the restaurant. Excuuuuussse me? You want WHAT? That was a new twist that even I had never imagined. This makes about as much sense to me as giving the customer a free bottle because they won at "Corked Bottle Roulette".

[Pan]

If they really did get a corked bottle, I'm sure you'll agree that they deserve a free replacement. If by "comped" you mean not charged for the replacement bottle, of course I agree. That would be a totally absurd expectation by the customer. Am I allowed to call such a customer a putz? (Probably, since no-one is named.)