Dinner In YOUR Family

[SobaAddict70]

This is a sister thread to the "How We Ate Growing Up" thread.

As I've surfed all over eGullet, I'm frequently struck by how people determine what they have for dinner, and family dinner habits from household to household. I'm also curious as to how those of you who have children manage to get your children to eat new foods, and whether this is particularly difficult at dinnertime more so than any other time of the day or any other meal at any point in time.

So without further ado, here's a list of questions I've got. Feel free to answer as much as you want or as little as you want.

1. In your family, do you cook dinner every single day of the week from scratch, or is there one or two days set aside each week during which time you prepare food in advance for the week? If you prepare things from scratch, are you able to prep some things in advance?

2. In your family, who determines what to have for dinner? How frequently does this happen? To what extent are likes and dislikes taken into account when planning a menu? Will you go out of your way to accomodate food preferences such as vegetarianism?

3. Do you have a set repertoire from which to draw your meal ideas from? Do you routinely explore new things and ideas to expand your dinner repertoire? When you go food shopping, are you a coupon clipper or are you an impulse buyer? Do you shop for food once a week, or do you shop for ingredients as you need them?

4. What gets discussed at the dinner table? Are there any topics that are considered off limits?

5. Do you have a set dinner hour, or does it vary from evening to evening? When your family has dinner, does everyone join in at the table, or will some have dinner elsewhere in your home? How often are kids (or relatives, or neighbors) over to have dinner at your home? How often do you have guests (nonfamily/nonfamiliar) over for dinner? How often do you have dinner parties? Do you like to entertain? When you entertain, do you involve your children or not?

6. How often do you introduce new food to your kids? Do you disguise it in such a way as to make it appealing, or are you pretty blatant about it? Are you a stickler for trying things out, or do you usually let things slide?

7. If you have any dinner table traditions in your family not covered above or elsewhere, we'd love to hear them.

Ok, I think that's enough for now.

Soba

[hathor]

That's a lot of questions...but I've been wondering about some of the same things.

I cook most nights...but never on Friday, its just my designated night off. Saturday nights we usually have friends over, but lately everyone has been coming over on Sunday for Soprano suppers. Now there's a topic...how many of us are hosting Soprano suppers? Much more fun to dissect with a group. We have a very open door policy... I do a head count right before the table gets set.

I determine what gets cooked. However, when lacking for inspiration, I beg for requests. When our son is home, no fish, mushrooms or curry. Other than that I'm blessed that they will eat or try just about anything.

My family and friends are my guinea pigs. Although we all have some favorites, I'm too restless and I'm constantly adapting and trying new ingredients or methods of cooking.

Absolutely everything gets discussed at dinner. Why would I want to censor my son or his friends? I'm truly curious about what goes on with them, and wouldn't want any 'table taboos'. My husband....him, I can tune out if want...and vice versa.

Now question no. 5 is a big issue for me. We eat together. We also eat late...but we eat when everyone gets home. Its always been that way. Everyone is busy and has a lot going on, but meal time is the one time that we can all sit down and catch up. There is a sense of community that is lost when people cannot eat meals together.

Also food and wine are important in our house. New foods and ingredients get introduced frequently, it's just the way it is. When my son was younger, his friends might have been a bit intimated by what was served, but they usually ended up loving it. Amazing when the kid who only liked over done steak, got very into some steak tartare! And the rule was you couldn't say you didn't like it if you hadn't tasted it.

Its not enough to 'just cook', meal times are for sharing and strengthing a bond.

[Anna N]

I will do my best to answer your questions but keep in mind that there are normally only two adults and I no longer work outside of the house.

98% of the time I cook dinner from scratch. If the recipe calls for it, then I will prep ahead of time but for only two of us, it’s rarely needed.

Much of the time I determine what is for dinner but hubby will occasionally request a favourite dish. We often decide together what to have on Friday night. This is our special night when we pull out all the stops and so we will have an appetizer, a main and a dessert and it’s often mutually decided upon. I don’t have to contend with special diets but hubby eats a limited number of veggies and doesn’t eat pasta (spaghetti is NOT pasta according to him!).

I do have a repertoire but try new dishes or new ways of preparing traditional dishes almost daily. I am now forced by circumstances to shop just once a week except that I will on occasion walk to the store for fresh ingredients but that takes a good hour or more from my day so I don’t do it very often (and the supermarket within walking distance is NASTY).

Sometimes we eat in silence but most of the time we will compare our days and chat about any newsworthy events – national, international or just family. We do not have TV on during dinner unless it is something very, very special. On Friday we usually rearrange the world, even the universe. Few things are off limits but we agree not to discuss personal matters that would inevitably lead to an unpleasant evening. We can argue politics, sex, religion, you name it, but not past hurts or disagreements that are strictly personal matters.

Dinner is generally about the same time on weekdays – around 7pm and a bit earlier on weekends. On Friday, hubby works only until 1 pm (most of the time) so we declare Friday night “open” at 5 pm and sip our first drink then. Only our grown daughter is close enough to show up for dinner other than on special occasions, but one or more of her family will eat with us at least once each week. Additionally, we have our granddaughter over once a week for a sleepover and she eats dinner with us then. She is four.

We entertain rarely except for our annual Danish lunch. We would both love to entertain more often but our friends are spread so far apart now and even the family is pretty spread out.

I try to introduce my daughter and her family to new food experiences and they are all very open about. The youngster is asked to taste – one bite – of new food but is never forced to do so and is allowed to spit out (into a napkin!) anything she really, really does not like. More and more we are encouraging her to eat what is on the table but won’t let her starve so I often make a separate meal for her.

[JPW]

Soba,

A little too child-centric for me to answer all questions completely as child No. 1 is only on its way, but here I go...

1.  In your family, do you cook dinner every single day of the week from scratch, or is there one or two days set aside each week during which time you prepare food in advance for the week?  If you prepare things from scratch, are you able to prep some things in advance?

Hell no. Main cooking is Sat and Sun night. As mentioned on the various other threads, cooking, for example, a roast chix for 2 means leftovers that become parts of later quesadillas, stir fries, soup, etc. Thursday is clean out the fridge night.

Friday is our night out.

2.  In your family, who determines what to have for dinner?  How frequently does this happen?  To what extent are likes and dislikes taken into account when planning a menu?  Will you go out of your way to accomodate food preferences such as vegetarianism?

Mrs JPW and I each throw out ideas before I do big shopping on Saturday. For guests whose food preferences I don't know very well, I always be sure to ask well before if there is anything they won't/can't eat. Learned this from having someone prepare me a lovely dinner consisting of several courses of bivalves which make me absolutely retch. About every other year, I try them again to see if my reactions have changed. No luck yet.

For leaf-munchers I will prepare a non-meat alternative, but they will have to stare at me eating my steak.

Mrs JPW has developed a pregnancy aversion to rice. Rice noodles are OK, risotto is ok, plain rice BAD. Last week we had italian-thai fusion stir fry on linguini since I ran out of rice noodles.

3.  Do you have a set repertoire from which to draw your meal ideas from?  Do you routinely explore new things and ideas to expand your dinner repertoire?  When you go food shopping, are you a coupon clipper or are you an impulse buyer?  Do you shop for food once a week, or do you shop for ingredients as you need them?

Yes, Yes, Impulse, Both.

For more info, there are probably a dozen or so dishes I can cook in my sleep that are a regular part of the dinner rotation. Saturday and Sunday are nights that I experiment on new recipes. Currently experimenting with Thai (only tried a couple so far). Generally, have a full week menu and a list for shopping, but occassionally fall victim to stuff that looks good. General staples all are bought on Sat. Meat for mid-week meals is bought either the day before or the day of the meal.

4.  What gets discussed at the dinner table?  Are there any topics that are considered off limits?

Right now mainly pregnancy related gastro-intestinal issues.

Or my brother-in-law's forthcoming disaster of a wedding.

Nothing is off limits, nor do I really want it to be when we have kids. As long as it is discussed politely.

5.  Do you have a set dinner hour, or does it vary from evening to evening?  When your family has dinner, does everyone join in at the table, or will some have dinner elsewhere in your home?  How often are kids (or relatives, or neighbors) over to have dinner at your home?  How often do you have guests (nonfamily/nonfamiliar) over for dinner?  How often do you have dinner parties?  Do you like to entertain?  When you entertain, do you involve your children or not?

It varies depending on Mrs. JPW's aerobics schedule. Usually 7:30-8.

All must eat together.

Around once a month.

Haven't had many strangers over.

A few times a year. (defined as having more than one other couple/family over)

Yes. I like to experiment on my friends.

They will be involved. If people bring their kids over, they are required to sit and eat at the table in a civilized manner or none of them come back again. However, kids are allowed to be excused once the main course has been completed and can grab an ice cream bar and run around in the yard/watch TV. I'm not a complete monster.

6.  How often do you introduce new food to your kids?  Do you disguise it in such a way as to make it appealing, or are you pretty blatant about it?  Are you a stickler for trying things out, or do you usually let things slide?

Kids will be introduced to stuff on the "1 taste" method many have described.

No, I don't want to freak people out or irritate them, or potentially slide something in that they may be allergic to.

If I have to try a bite of everything at my table, then everyone else does too. (Man, you should have seen the shade of green on my face the last time I tried salmon that my wife declared "the best I've ever had").

7.  If you have any dinner table traditions in your family not covered above or elsewhere, we'd love to hear them.

More of a holiday thing that came from my mom's Norwegian family in the Pacific NW. Always set an extra place for holiday dinners, more often than not there will arrive someone who needs a "rent-a-family" for that occasion.

Of course, all things regarding kids at the table are merely speculative. I'll let you all know how long my standards last when faced with a screaming infant that I can't give back to its parents.

Edited April 13, 2004 by JPW (log)

[marie-louise]

(Our family is me and my husband.)

1. We occasionally cook things ahead of time, but not with any plan or consistency. As I've said before, it doesn't seem to matter WHAT it is, once it hits the freezer I lose all interest in it. I always keep stock on hand, and there's usually frozen pizza dough and some sort of pasta sauce in there, but things like six meals of lasagna feel more like a burden than an asset. I do sometimes prep things first thing in the morning for dinner that night.

We try to go out one week night a week, and/or get take-out another.

2. We both do-based on the weather, what's in season, and who's craving what (my cravings are often based on seeds planted from comments on eGullet!)

3. We shop every day or two. Just like the freezer, things stockpiled in the fridge lose their appeal. We used to get a CSA box, and now that we are in town more weekends, we go to the Farmer's Market and buy what looks great, but we don't really "plan" all our meals.

4. Anything and everything. My favorite part of mealtime is lingering over the dinner table, spending time with the guy I love (and finishing the last of that bottle of wine.)

5. Varies, usually about 7:30. We eat most of our meals in the dining room; occasionally we plan a "movie night" w/ finger foods or pizza on the coffee table while we watch a DVD. Frequency of dinner parties varies, too. I love to entertain-sometimes it is every week; sometimes weeks go by... it really depends on just how busy I am at work. Our dinner parties are adults only.

Edited one more time to ask a question of my own: Are we the only two people who lose all common sense at a Farmer's Market and buy WAAAAY too much food? I guess having a meal plan would help, but jeez, everything looks so good and is so reasonably priced we always seem to buy about twice as much food as we'd planned.

Edited April 14, 2004 by marie-louise (log)

[Mayhaw Man]

I've got some time to kill and don't have to work Wednesday (am driving a kid to Destin to spend the rest of the week and I am going to spend the night and have dinner at The Smiling Fish-going to get up early and get back to work by noon) so I will answer Soba's family dining queries as they relate to the Mayhaw Household.

1. In your family, do you cook dinner every single day of the week from scratch, or is there one or two days set aside each week during which time you prepare food in advance for the week? If you prepare things from scratch, are you able to prep some things in advance?

We cook virtually every night. I would like to say that this is because of our thrifty habits, but a fair amount of the monthly budget ends up in food (judging from some of the heated replies in a thread involving household food expenditures we are in the upper scale foodwise for a family of four-but it is my hobby and my passion and I suppose that my family enjoys this more than if I spent my expendable income on collecting stamps). And I do manage to have plenty of stuff prepped and in the freezer or pantry to speed up the process. Very little gets wasted. I always have several kinds of stock ready to go and will often take a little time off and prepare things to go into the freezer for those days when modern life interferes with full on food prep.

2. In your family, who determines what to have for dinner? How frequently does this happen? To what extent are likes and dislikes taken into account when planning a menu? Will you go out of your way to accomodate food preferences such as vegetarianism?

Usually I decide what's for dinner, but I am always willing to take suggestions or requests. Usually has more to do with I start dinner before all of the little Mayhaw's get home in the afternoon (I work from 6-3 mostly).

The likes and dislikes thing is certainly taken into account, but for example, my youngest doesn't like okra much and that means he is just missing something on his plate-not that we skip it. HE WILL however, eat okra and bacon casserole (who wouldn't? ).

If we have guests that I know have eating requirements that are important to them, I will always try to accomodate. No advance notice however means no accomodation and no apology. Religious requirements are one thing I will always try to respect. Vegetarianism-hell, I've always got some carrots. Let em gnaw on that.

3. Do you have a set repertoire from which to draw your meal ideas from? Do you routinely explore new things and ideas to expand your dinner repertoire? When you go food shopping, are you a coupon clipper or are you an impulse buyer? Do you shop for food once a week, or do you shop for ingredients as you need them?

Not really, we eat a pretty broad variety of stuff. Tonight was pasta carbonara (with some awesome pancetta from Central Grocery in New Orleans). The night before was shrimp creole. Friday night we are making sushi at home for a crowd of friends. Who knows what will be next. Generally I am inspired by whatever looks appealing at the farmers market, the butcher, or the seafood shop and go from there.

No I don't clip coupons (but I wish I did) and I respect those that do-as long as they aren't in front of me in the grocery store (then I don't love them so much).

We do about 1 big grocery trip a week, 1 Sam's (Costco to some of you, same thing) trip a month, and a couple of trips to the Farmers market, butcher, seafood place a week.

4. What gets discussed at the dinner table? Are there any topics that are considered off limits?

Whatever seems interesting. It could be school and grades, could be my wife's life in the world of ne'er do well hippie artists, it could be music (my kids have very broad tastes-which is good because otherwise they would be miserable), or lately it could be politics of the left wing variety. There aren't any rules as long as the conversation is pleasant and you don't talk with your mouth full of food.

5. Do you have a set dinner hour, or does it vary from evening to evening? When your family has dinner, does everyone join in at the table, or will some have dinner elsewhere in your home? How often are kids (or relatives, or neighbors) over to have dinner at your home? How often do you have guests (nonfamily/nonfamiliar) over for dinner? How often do you have dinner parties? Do you like to entertain? When you entertain, do you involve your children or not?

We usually have it together by about 7:30. Sometimes earlier but not very often.

Everybody at the table most nights, although we do have a third dining area in our house in a large addition (I believe some of you would call this a great rom, I call it an energy absorbing, hard to cool and heat, money pit-27 foot ceilings are not all they are cracked up to be heating and cooling wise-oy! ) that the boys eat at when they are too many of them to comfortably fit at the table (or when parental patience for fart jokes is at a low ebb) . We have extra guests more often than not, kids and adults. I would not have it any other way. I love to serve food to other people and we have been blessed with good friends that are more like family in many ways, so why not feed them?

Formal dinner parties are rare, although we do like to blow it out with the whole service every once in awhile. It's fun to get out all of the good stuff sometimes.

We have all kinds of informal parties and go to lots more. Kids are generally always involved, although we are reaching an age point where many of our friends children have moved on to school or whatever and many others (like our own kids) have kids that don't need much watching. THere was a point when every invitation read:kids are more than welcome, but if you bring them, you watch them. I was always o.k. with that and we took them just about everywhere. At this point I am glad we did. They grow up too fast to leave em at home with a sitter all of the time.

6. How often do you introduce new food to your kids? Do you disguise it in such a way as to make it appealing, or are you pretty blatant about it? Are you a stickler for trying things out, or do you usually let things slide?

Whenever I try new food, at this point. They eat pretty much anything you put in front of them and lots of it. If they don't want it, I let it slide-right down my throat. Waste not, want not.

7. If you have any dinner table traditions in your family not covered above or elsewhere, we'd love to hear them.

The preparer of the meal has the option to refuse after dinner dish duty at all times (although I do them alot-I kind of like washing dishes and loading the dishwasher).

Ok, I think that's enough for now.

Whew! What are you doing, writing a friggin book?!

[mongo_jones]

1. In your family, do you cook dinner every single day of the week from scratch, or is there one or two days set aside each week during which time you prepare food in advance for the week? If you prepare things from scratch, are you able to prep some things in advance?

i never cook from scratch--after what that smart-ass health inspector said i've started clipping my nails every month

2. In your family, who determines what to have for dinner? How frequently does this happen? To what extent are likes and dislikes taken into account when planning a menu? Will you go out of your way to accomodate food preferences such as vegetarianism?

go out of my way? i'll go out of my way to run vegetarian family members over and then feed them their own mangled flesh in a sauce made from their blood.

3. Do you have a set repertoire from which to draw your meal ideas from? Do you routinely explore new things and ideas to expand your dinner repertoire?

i usually draw my meal ideas on paper and in months when the checks haven't cashed that's all we eat. mmm mmm i can draw a mean steak--better than i can grill certainly. and we stopped exploring food after the missus got that nasty case of lockjaw while rappelling into the can of garbanzo beans

4. What gets discussed at the dinner table? Are there any topics that are considered off limits?

tables are for french surrender monkeys what like to use fancy words like "repertoire"--we eat in the toilet in order to save time. and pappy always said a pie-hole's for pie not talking; we do our talking in court.

5. Do you have a set dinner hour, or does it vary from evening to evening? When your family has dinner, does everyone join in at the table, or will some have dinner elsewhere in your home? How often are kids (or relatives, or neighbors) over to have dinner at your home? How often do you have guests (nonfamily/nonfamiliar) over for dinner? How often do you have dinner parties? Do you like to entertain? When you entertain, do you involve your children or not?

we usually have guests over for dinner in their homes. or at least we did before the restraining orders showed up. and involve children in our entertainment? what kind of sick pervert are you?

6. How often do you introduce new food to your kids? Do you disguise it in such a way as to make it appealing, or are you pretty blatant about it? Are you a stickler for trying things out, or do you usually let things slide?

depends on whether you're talking about food or "food".

7. If you have any dinner table traditions in your family not covered above or elsewhere, we'd love to hear them.

we have a rule--no sex on the table; at least not till dinner's over

Edited April 14, 2004 by mongo_jones (log)

[Susan G]

I'm a bride with no kids, so many of the questions don't apply..........having said that:

1) I cook entire meals every day I'm not working (I work a single 36 hour shift). When I'm at work, I do a collaborative dinner with my friends. This meal often has guests - about once a month. At home, I prep ahead only if I'm short of time, or working on similar recipes.

2) I determine the menus at home - the groom would rather not think about food, beyond what beverage to consume with it. I take the food likes/dislikes of the people for whom I'm cooking so seriously I have gone years without making my favorite dishes because I knew they wouldn't be jointly appreciated.

3) Before I married I had a set repetoire, but my husband's preferences required a change. Once a week shopping, as needed shopping, impulse buying: yes.

4) What gets discussed at the table? The events of the day, people we know, plans for the house and garden. Topics off limits: Politics (we're a mixed marriage), his family, money plans.

5) *I* have a very fixed hour for dinner: The meal is ready at 6pm. If the SO lost track of time and is late, his dinner is cold.

6) N/A

7) Other dinner traditions? Sadly, no.

[Rushina]

1. In my family, I am the cook. Our family consists of My husband, two year old son and myself. I cook breakfast and Dinner every day. I juggle writting and my candle business with home and child so I have little time to spare.

I have different weekly menus that I sat down and worked out a while ago.

MONDAY TO THURSDAY - I cook breakfasts and dinners. Lunches are usually hastily put together between the end of my first session of work and my sons naptime.

SATURDAY - Leftover day. We finish all the leftovers from the preceding week, also allowing me to clean the fridge before we refill it with the fresh vegetables to come. We shop for the coming week today. That evening I reorganise my menus for the coming week based on the fresh produce we have bought. Dinner is generally flexible it could be takeaway/ dinner out or even just maggi. Weekends are "off time" for me.

SUNDAY - I prep for the week ahead, this would generally include a marathon session with my blender when I make a chutney, puree tomatoes, Make a stirfry sauce, mayonnaise,.... shred, chop, cut, mince garlic...etc. I also do a couple of desserts to serve after dinner for the coming week. All of this goes into the fridge to be brought out and cooked the rest of the week. I make one meal on Sunday which could be a breakfast with the works or (sausages, hash browns etc. / idli-sambhar or a full Lunch. We all eat together. Dinner is usually out (at my moms or grandmoms)

2.I determine what my family has for dinner, since I do all the cooking. I am open to requests though. THose are rare however since my husband likes the adventure of our mealtimes and my son has not reached that stage.

Since I am the one who does the cooking it takes care of my likes and dislikes. My husband does have an aversion to certain things, he does not like very spicy food (I like spicy, which is why I make a chutney on saturdays or dip into the huge variety of pickles I make or collect from all over.) He also has an aversion to chickpea and Spinachj dal which I love but he generally eats it because I pair it with something he likes in the vegetable section.

I will accomodate obvious requirements like alergies and reasonable requirements like vegetarianism but unreasonable requirements are not entertained and I expect everyone at my table to eat what I serve. (I usually also accomodate dishes that a guest loves)

3. MONDAYS - FRIDAYS are when I cook, I usually have menus that I rotate which are planned around the the nutritional need for each indivisual based on the food pyramyd, also keeping in mind the need for a low carb diet for me and a non spicy diet for my son. They include dishes from all over the world on alternating with Indian meals. I stick to a couple of cuisines in each menu to allow for similar ingrediants to be used. (Mexican week would be paired with North Indian since I make my taco fillings with Rajma. the same week would also include a breakfast of baked beans. All of this allowing me to cook enough beans at one go) FYI I also do chinese, thai, italian, american, lebanese and at the moment korean. The season also plays a role, Hot weather will have me using recipes from hot weather countries. Also hot weather will mean less eggs/meat/garam masalla... this is not to say that there is no flexibility, since i read so much about food i come accross recipes often that inspire me and if I have the ingrediants I will change the meal to accomodate it. (I recently came accross a recipe for Pan grilled chicken Korean style and since I had almost all the ingrediants I needed I made that instead of the chicken stirfry I had planned.

As far as shopping is concerned, I am an impulse buyer as far as fresh produce is concerned but the rest of it is planned and bought at the beginning of the month. Sometimes if I just cannot wait, my weekly shopping might include something that I want to try out.

4.We generally talk about our days, things we have come accross, my husband and i are both trained animators, he is still in the field while I have moved on, however the fascination is still there so we are always tossing around ideas for the next great film / book/ whatever strikes our fancy. We also encourage our son to talk about his day. He is at the "What is that stage so we also answer that question a lot.) What we do not talk about are bodily excretions and the like.

5. My husband works long hours so I wait to have dinner with him, since my son is not going to nursery yet, I let him stay up till about 11 o clock. I try to stick to a meal time of about 8:30 for him however. Dinner and all eating happens at the table. The TV is OFF no matter what at dinner. I generally allow my son to watch cartoons at lunch. We have guests often, since our family is very large on both sides a lot of our friends are bachelors, my mothers home is strictly vegetarian so my siblings also drop by often for a dose of home cooked non vegetarian. We do not have parties but we have groups of people over, once a week, generally on Friday or Saturday, the day before a holiday. Our son is always involved.

6.EVERYDAY. I read about food all the time and constantly make new stuff. However if I suspect that my son is going to balk at something I make sure I have a fall back. He is a bit young to enforce the try everything once rule but we are trying...

7.I like to serve indian meals on steel plates and anything elso on china. Food comes to the table in serving dishes and not the utensils it has been cooked in.

Not a table tradition but my husband helps with clean up. He used to cook but he says he has lost the knack since we got married. He makes up for the lack by helping with other chores and making sure I get "off time" from everything on weekends so I can curl up with a book or whtever.

Wow this was fun....

Hope it makes for interesting reading...

Rushina

Edited May 12, 2004 by Rushina (log)

[chezlamere]

My family consists of 3 now (but when my husband goes shopping for groceries he forgets that we are not 5 any longer - as only the younger one is still at home) so consiquently I have a full freezer and the cupboards are always overflowing. I am thankful when my middle one comes home to shop for groceries in our freezer and cupboards. I know - this is strange to be thankful for this-but it opens up space. And he also forgets that we aren't eating the same any longer either. So I am constantly cutting up pork and beef roasts for stir fry and steaks etc. And don't suggest that He shouldn't do the shopping any longer, alone - because he LOVES to shop and I HATE it. my kids call this his feminine side.

I cook for a living and have wed/sat/sun off and on alternate weeks have wed/thurs/fri off. My husband is out of town on sun, tues, and thurs. My daughter works part time and is a student at university. When she works she usually works mon, sat, sun. So if your confused now - well try living with them. I rarely cook at home when if I work that day. If you mean cooking is something that doesn't require a can opener or the cardboard box, or ready made salad package.

I might cook once a week. My hours are such that I might make breakfast on my day off if it co-incides with my husbands day in town. But if that's a Saturday - forget it, i expect to be taken out for breakfast, I mean it's the least he could do is accompany me to denny's. Otherwise I eat toast and cheese at work or make a toasted sandwich of something or other at home. Sometimes it's just yogurt or leftovers from the night before of prepackaged or stir fry

( I seem to be making alot of stir fry of something or other in the evening because it's just the easiest and fastest and usually is never the same twice, depending on what veggie is around)

The days im working my daughter usually fends for herself unless she whines alot, then I might be forced to make something. But I'm always tasteing and adjusting and tasting at work, that I'm rarely hungry or even want anything to eat, just keep my glass full of wine thank you. I'm sick of looking at food.

On those nights that my husband chooses to cook he usually makes a roast, that we suffer through and then make shepards pie out off days later.

When I work evenings I usually bring dinner home from work for them. But usually only if it's something interesting. I work in longterm care.

When the kids were younger and all at home, my husband was home on the weekends only because he worked out of town during the week, and I had a retail business and did some on call cooking in a couple golf coarces and a hotel (just to keep my hand in) I always cooked at home usually every night, in fact it's kind of wierd when they are all together that they request something that I made for them (that they complained about that was made too oftem when they were younger) My husbands stand-by meal at the time for them was spagetti in tomato soup with weiners, (gag me) and sometimes he still makes it for himself and if they are around they dig right in. I cooked and canned and froze etc, even had a garden, and had about 20 different varieties of tomatoes, but now i'm in an apartment so those days are over. What I really miss are fresh green beans.

My kids then and now will eat just about anything. My youngest was kinda picky but she lived with two vegetarians for about 6 months and ever since her eating likes have matured.

hope this is not too long

[NulloModo]

1. In your family, do you cook dinner every single day of the week from scratch, or is there one or two days set aside each week during which time you prepare food in advance for the week? If you prepare things from scratch, are you able to prep some things in advance?

I cook some nights, don't cook some nights, eat out some nights, left-overs other nights. Sometimes 'cooking' is heating up some pre-made sausages with a can of sauerkraut (am I the only one who thinks the stuff in the can tastes way better than the 'fresh' stuff in bags in the deli section?), sometimes it is real cooking from scratch.

2. In your family, who determines what to have for dinner? How frequently does this happen? To what extent are likes and dislikes taken into account when planning a menu? Will you go out of your way to accomodate food preferences such as vegetarianism?

I do not live with my family, but I do have two roomates. We usually do our own thing for food, but sometimes they will eat what I cook, and vice versa. E-gullet has been deciding 'what's for dinner' for me lately, I just see so many great ideas that I have to try out.

3. Do you have a set repertoire from which to draw your meal ideas from? Do you routinely explore new things and ideas to expand your dinner repertoire? When you go food shopping, are you a coupon clipper or are you an impulse buyer? Do you shop for food once a week, or do you shop for ingredients as you need them?

I am constantly trying out new stuff. In fact, I like to cook it more than I like to eat it, and thus always have leftovers building up quickly.... If something really strikes me as tasty I will bring it back and play with it again and again until I get really good at it, but others just get filed away as 'been there, done that, it's edible if I need to do it again'. I grocery shop whenever I run out of groceries. Go to the farmers market every saturday to get as much produce as I can, but I will pick up other stuff at the grocery store if and when I need it.

My roomates can be fairly picky at times, and they dislike things that any normal person should enjoy (mushrooms, chile peppers, shellfish, etc). So, basically I don't even try to please them, I cook what I feel like, and if they want to eat some of it, they can, if not, they have a stash of ramen noodles.

I don't have to clip coupons, every grocery store around here has an automatic discount card policy, I thought they were all like that.... I tend to buy on impulse, I go, see what looks tasty, buy it, get home, and try to figure out what I can cook with what I came home with.

4. What gets discussed at the dinner table? Are there any topics that are considered off limits?

90% of my meals are solo or eaten just hanging out with friends, in which case anything in fair game for conversation.

5. Do you have a set dinner hour, or does it vary from evening to evening? When your family has dinner, does everyone join in at the table, or will some have dinner elsewhere in your home? How often are kids (or relatives, or neighbors) over to have dinner at your home? How often do you have guests (nonfamily/nonfamiliar) over for dinner? How often do you have dinner parties? Do you like to entertain? When you entertain, do you involve your children or not?

Dinner is whenever i am hungry and have time to cook. I am directing a musical production at the moment, so my day goes from 6am to 10pm, so I am not cooking this week, more eating on the fly. Normally when I can get home at a reasonable hour I will start cooking then, or at least starting trying to decide what to cook, and then start cooking an hour or two later ;).

I have no children, but I love to have people over. Usually the focus is on the liquid refreshment as opposed to the solid however (I take pride in my fully stocked bar).

6. How often do you introduce new food to your kids? Do you disguise it in such a way as to make it appealing, or are you pretty blatant about it? Are you a stickler for trying things out, or do you usually let things slide?

Again, currently no kids, and no immediate plans for any (perhaps in another ten or so years), but when/if I do, they will eat whatever I cook for dinner. If no one introduces a food as something to be afraid of, they will have no reason to be wary of it, and no reason to be squeamish. If they want to eat, they will eat what is served, which will cover a variety of tastes.

7. If you have any dinner table traditions in your family not covered above or elsewhere, we'd love to hear them.

My family, when I used to live with them, would always order pizza every friday night, and my father was/is an excellent cook when it comes to down home southern soul-food. As we all got older it became more and more fast-food, less and less real home cooked food, to the point where all I knew how to eat by the time I moved out on my own was what I purchased already made. Needless to say this diet was not at all healthy, and I have since mended my ways and been very interested in learning how to cook not only for the intrinsic value of the activity, but so that I can lead a healthy life as well. I plan on instilling these values into my own family when I get around to starting one.

[Cusina]

I'm the cook too... I'll try to keep this brief and interesting. :)

We menu plan every week. My husband and I sit down and decide what to eat and when it works in our schedule. Usually we do this on Sunday or Monday evening. Most meals are from scratch, one or two are either take out or restaurant meals. I don't usually prep much in advance (other than basics like stock and marinara), I'm just not that good.

We use an excel spreadsheet to keep track of menus so when we get stuck during the planning process we turn to that. Right now we seem to be particularly health conscious so our meal planning revolves around what is fresh and healthy. Sometimes it is more indulgent and goes more with what we have a taste for and other times it is very seasonal, like when it is sweaty hot or bitter cold.

Dinner in our house is usually about 5:30, if Chris is going to be late which is pretty rare but does happen, the kids might eat first. We don't have an eat in kitchen, so almost every meal happens in the formal dining room, which I really like. We are trying hard to work on good manners, but sometimes we go casual and eat in front of the fireplace in the living room on our big Asian style coffee table. The kids LOVE this. It's a real treat.

We are all required to be at the table at the beginning of the meal, but the kids can be excused if they ask politely. Chris and I like to linger over the wine sometimes and go beyond their attention span. I expect this practice of excusing the kids to be over by the time the kids are 10 or so. My 24 year old bachelor brother joins us for dinner at least twice a week. He's family, so it's no big deal. I'm actually having fun watching him learn how to cook. He learns quickly and it's nice to have him help out. In the future I anticipate having "Friday night friend" nights with my kids and letting them fill the table with other kids.

I don't cater what we eat to the kid's tastes, but I do make adjustments for them. Since they are quite young they tend to eat more plainly than we do. I'll usually hold the sauce or seasoning for them or make a slightly less "interesting" vegetable. I do ask them to try little bits of things, sometimes they like it, sometimes they aren't there yet. Life is just an acquired taste. But they are usually willing to give things a go, which is good. And you would be suprised what they dig into. Edamame are a huge hit around here, broccolini too. Course they wouldn't touch spinach with a 20 foot pole, so, oh well. I figure that eventually they will get there if they keep being exposed to new things and I consider it a good sign that their favorite restraunts in town are a Thai place and the Mongolian Barbeque. It's mighty cute watching them grill their own satay sticks.

Certainly, if a celiac or vegetarian or whatever shows up at our table and I have advanced warning I have no problem accommodating their needs. I find it kind of a fun challenge, actually. My mother has all sorts of food sensitivities and I just work around them, so maybe I'm used to it.

Interesting questions Soba, thanks for asking.

[Cusina]

oh, forgot to add the sources from which my "new" things come from. I usually make several new dishes a week. Most of them are sides that come out of new pantry combinations or things that caught my eye at the grocery (this week it is quinoa). I also get lots of ideas from you all here at eGullet, a few other BB sites that I frequent and sometimes will try a "real" recipe from glossy magazines that catch my eye in the supermarket (Cooking Light and Fine Cooking are my favorites). I also am a big library fan and get cookbooks from there too.

And Mongo, bwahahaha

Edited May 12, 2004 by Cusina (log)

[chromedome]

Interesting thread, Soba!

I've got a wife and two kids, and am in the process of changing from "school-and-a-job" to "no-school-and-two-jobs." I am the proverbial "chief cook and bottle washer," whenever I am not working.

1) When I'm here, I cook. Sometimes it's an elaborate meal, sometimes it's whatever I can throw together without thought in an advanced state of fatigue. I bake bread 2-4 times a week, depending on consumption vs. work schedule; I make stocks when I can; and I generally cook for leftovers (which is advance prep of a sort).

2) <sigh> I'll eat just about anything, but of course I have some constraints. I'm the only one in the house who eats offal. My wife will occasionally get a craving for liver and onions, but I can't cook it at home because she won't have the smell of it in the house. Ditto fish; though now that barbecue season is almost here I can look forward to cooking it outdoors.

Wife is allergic to spinach, and generally won't eat cabbage except in borscht, owing to the intestinal distress it causes. It'll still have that effect in borscht, but she eats it anyway 'cause that's soul food for a Mennonite.

Son is good with a lot of stuff, but nothing spicy-hot. Also, anything in the line of fat, bones or gristle repulses him to the extent that he won't finish his meal. This is appalling to me, a confirmed gnawer of fat, bones and gristle.

Daughter is okay with a degree of pepper heat, and loves garlic passionately. She is allergic to apples, and consequently is stubborn in refusing to eat any fruit. Lately, we've gotten her hooked on those Del Monte Gold pineapples, which I'm hoping will be the thin edge of the wedge. She's okay with juices and jams, thankfully.

So yes, I keep all of this in mind when I'm planning meals. If my daughter has a sleepover, for example, I'll make a barley risotto...the rest of us love it, but my daughter has a pathological hatred of barley. If my son's away, I'll cook a little bit spicier, just 'cause I can. If the wife's away for at least a day, I'll cook fish and air the house out afterwards (and wash the walls).

If we are having guests, I am usually at some pains to find out in advance about any allergies/aversions/preferences and work around them.

3) I have a handful of basics, of course, as most people do. We eat WAAAAYYYY more rice than most Caucasians, and I always have several kinds on hand. We also eat a lot of pasta, frequently homemade if I have the energy. My wife has damaged wrists as a result of too-long-untreated Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, so peeling potatoes and other veg is something she attempts only rarely in my absence.

I do like to be adventurous, though, and I cook a lot of Indian- and MidEast- influenced foods, also a lot of stirfries and such. We make our own wontons occasionally for soup. As with rice, I go through more fresh ginger than any Caucasian I know (present company excepted, I'm sure).

Having had several friends and in-laws from Central and Eastern Europe, I cook a lot of foods from those traditions as well.

As for shopping, I tend to buy staples on a periodic basis and impulse items, well...on impulse. I do clip coupons occasionally, but seldom remember to have one with me when I go to buy said item.

4) We'll talk about anything at the dinner table (we eat together at every mealtime that my schedule allows). The only things that are "restricted subject matter" are discussions of certain bodily functions; or anything else that might tend to put one off one's feed...

Mealtimes tend to be fairly rollicking, goofy, fun times. My kids are both natural clowns and mimics, especially my son. In class recently he fractured his classmates and teachers with a timely impression: asked for a summary of the effects of pollution on marshes and wetlands, he conjured up his best Gollum and hissed, "It ruinssss them!"

5) Dinner is when I've finished making it. Our/my schedule is too wonky for things to be otherwise.

We are relatively new here in our neighbourhood as of yet, so we don't have people over as often as we have in the past (we've frequently been an informal youth drop-in, and have also taken in troubled teens at times...that's Motrin pain). We like to have company, though I can't recall that we've ever had a formal "dinner party." If you ask for a roll, it's likely to be tossed at you. We've had as many as 16 around our table, and I reckon that if we had skinny enough chairs we could probably sit 20 with the leaf in.

6) At my son's junior high, one of his electives is "International Foods." On the first day, the teacher said she wanted to expose them to foods they probably hadn't tried before. "Good luck with that!" commented my wiseacre son (they made baklava, today).

They try new things whenever I feel like making something different. They may not like them, they may not finish them, but the rule is that they have to at least try. Pappadums, for example, were a recent hit.

7) At present, I can't think of anything not previously discussed. If I do, I'll come back with it.

[helenjp]

do you cook dinner every single day of the week from scratch

Almost always so. It's cheaper, and when the wallet is bursting its seams, home-cooked treats are a better bargain than food from the only kind of restaurant that my husband is prepared to pay good money for... Husband often cooks Saturday lunch, though.

I do prep in advance, particularly meat/fish - marinading, pickling in miso, etc. Rarely enjoy veg that have been frozen, but do prepare sauces etc.

who determines what to have for dinner?

The person who can be bothered thinking about it, which is usually me.

Interestingly, the fussiest son is also the most interested in food. He's not adventurous, but he will tell me precisely what he would like to eat, and how he wants it presented.

He eats everything now (age 10), voluntarily, though cautious about new things. A few years back, we bargained - he could choose one item that I would never require him to eat, the rest he had to eat some of...and I promised not to serve up food that he hated too often.

set repertoire?

I'm often busy at the end of the working day (on the days I work at home) or home late, or running kids to activities. It's easy to get into an efficient but boring rut.

I counter that by checking through my files (or eGullet!) before I plan my main shopping trip of the week. Cheap shopping usually means the same old same old, so I permit myself one or two "special" things during the week, especially as mealtimes are a big part of our family life.

What gets discussed at the dinner table?

Well, we have two boys (10, 12)...I have no trouble picturing the flow of conversation at the Mayhaw table as Mayhaw described it!

Our main problem is not discussion but BOOKS AT THE TABLE. We normally eat at a low Japanese table, so books, magazines etc on the floor are fatally easy to reach. Husband and I like to read while eating too, but three meals a day with book in hand is surely too much? Boys protest very creatively EVERY time I try to suggest normal dining manners. They maintain that a book or two just sparks the table conversation nicely...

Do you have a set dinner hour

Japanese men rarely get home early for dinner - 10pm is very usual, 8:30 means a special commitment to leave the office early - so breakfast is THE family meal for us, and I cook accordingly.

Dinner hours vary from day to day, but are written on the fridge!! That's because the afternoons and evenings are so busy that I have to cook to the clock.

Cram school is starting to cut into the dinner hour, so the cramee eats part of dinner early, and has rice and miso soup with the other son and I on return. I always sit and have a cup of tea with whoever is eating.

Thanks to extensive wildlife, food is NEVER eaten outside the kitchen or dining room here, and all supplies are kept in airtight boxes.

How often do you introduce new food to your kids?

I think blatant is the way to go! Why bother if you're not all excited about it?

One son is very adventurous about anything new, and manages to talk everybody else into it. It's worth having the whole family at the supermarket from time to time, so they can see the materials and fantasize about how to eat them!

Husband is extremely conservative, but decided that he would eat anything when he saw how much the kids enjoyed things that he didn't like at all. He seems to have actually developed a taste for some of those things.

dinner table traditions

Rice, miso soup, and soy sauce are on our table all the time. I've given up protesting when people pour soy sauce on the roast chicken stuffing...

[tejon]

I'm married with two small sons, three and five. I am at home with the boys, so I do most of the cooking and food preparation and planning.

I cook dinner from scratch almost every night. We go out to eat (away from the little ones ) every couple of months or so, and occasionally will get fast food for all, but that's pretty rare. I do sometimes plan on having leftovers from earlier in the week as a menu item, but usually the sides or some part of it changes. Prep is almost always done on the same day, unless I'm planning to feed a much larger group.

Right now menu planning is mainly up to me and my husband. My five year old son gets to pick one dinner a week, but my three year old doesn't really have enough of an opinion yet to give input. I try to incorporate things that will be generally liked. I make one meal, and that's what is for dinner - if the boys don't want what we're having they delve into their shelf in the refrigerator for string cheese, fruit, vegetables, something healthy that doesn't involve me making another meal. If we have guests who have special dietary needs, I work hard to accomodate them in any way I can. I worked around a whole host of food allergies with our sons for several years and know how much work it can be.

Each week I sit down with the store circulars and look at what is on sale and what is in season. Then I go down my own mental list of dinners that have worked well in the past. Next I usually try at least one new recipe or preparation idea each week - tackling a new technique, trying something different. I shop once a week, going to three different stores (regular grocery, Trader Joe's, and an asian market for produce). I make up a list that includes everything needed for every meal for the next week and any other items that are running low. I cut coupons and end up saving quite a bit through planning everything out.

We talk about pretty much anything that is child appropriate, since we have small children at the table. But just about anything is fair game for conversation, up to and including several discussions on the birds and the bees .

We usually eat between five and six. I try for closer to five o clock, since that gives time for a family walk outside after dinner. Everyone sits at the dinner table, the TV and radio are turned off, and no toys are allowed at the table while we're eating. We sit down to eat together just about every night, and consider it important time together. There is an extra person or two at the table about once a week - I love feeding my friends and family! Dinner parties are a little more sporadic, but we both love to entertain and have people over. Our boys are always included, as well as the children of our friends.

We always offer new foods to the boys, or foods they haven't necessarily liked in the past. I don't believe in disguising foods - if they're going to like something, they'll like it. We don't have a rule that they have to try something new, having found that usually they will eventually try a food of their own volition when they see us enjoying it. If they don't want to try something, that's usually a bonus - more for us! Our five year old is quickly catching on to the fact that most of what I prepare is pretty good stuff, and is branching out.

I'm continually amazed at the things that our children will eat and enjoy, especially considering the diet of most small children. I think a lot of it has to do with encouraging them to try new things and actually *having* new foods available often.

Edited May 13, 2004 by tejon (log)

[binkyboots]

intersting questions... hmm, we're a family of four adults (one who can't eat solid food, purees only) and a five year old girl, she's my niece, my sister lives with myself, my husband and our mum.

1. In your family, do you cook dinner every single day of the week from scratch, or is there one or two days set aside each week during which time you prepare food in advance for the week? If you prepare things from scratch, are you able to prep some things in advance?

I cook dinner every night, most nights from scratch (I dislike the amount of extras and chemicals in prepacked foods) though if I'm off colour or short on time I sometimes resort to ready made pizza/pasta dishes. also I often make dishes that can either be eaten two nights running or a portion can be frozen for a speedy dinner in the future.

in the morning when I'm home alone I prep the ingrediants and sometimes (if it's something that reheats well) cook dinner.

I can't eat solids so I'm easy, I usually have soup or weetabix type cereal. sometimes I just have a protien shake (milk, pb, bannas & honey = yum)

2. In your family, who determines what to have for dinner? How frequently does this happen? To what extent are likes and dislikes taken into account when planning a menu? Will you go out of your way to accomodate food preferences such as vegetarianism?

fortunately we share many likes and dislikes, no celery, ever, eww.... my sister diesn't like cinnamon which can make baking/pudding hard work (who doesn't like cinnamon x_x)

we eat 80% vegetarian meals, my husband would revolt if we had no meat. if a recipe includes an ingrediant that is easily picked out (chickpeas in a tangine for instance) I just make it, anyone who doesn't like will have to pick around them.

of course I don't plan menus that I know people wont like, it woiuld be a waste of time and money, lol.

3. Do you have a set repertoire from which to draw your meal ideas from? Do you routinely explore new things and ideas to expand your dinner repertoire? When you go food shopping, are you a coupon clipper or are you an impulse buyer? Do you shop for food once a week, or do you shop for ingredients as you need them?

I get my recipes from my cookbook library.. right now mum and sister are dieting so I'm mainly cooking from my low cal cookbooks (though I find a lot of the dishes are unimaghinative and often add some spice)

I have a serious cooking magazine addiction, so once a month I treat myself to the new issues and make a point of cooking a few things from them over the next month.

mum and I (and anyone else who wants to be involved) get together once a week to talk over the menu for the next week and make a shopping list, I do try to clip coupons and take advantage of offers/loss leaders, but only when I can really use them.

usually I need to pick up extra milk/veg oart way through the week.

4. What gets discussed at the dinner table? Are there any topics that are considered off limits?

we have family news time, sometimes we just eat quietly, generally we dont talk about big worries/family problems at dinner, just because it doesn't make for a settled feeling, we try to give natasha as much of a feeling of stability as we can.

5. Do you have a set dinner hour, or does it vary from evening to evening? When your family has dinner, does everyone join in at the table, or will some have dinner elsewhere in your home? How often are kids (or relatives, or neighbors) over to have dinner at your home? How often do you have guests (nonfamily/nonfamiliar) over for dinner? How often do you have dinner parties? Do you like to entertain? When you entertain, do you involve your children or not?

we have dinner around 6-7:30 most night with a couple of later nights when teresa (my sister) works.

when we eat we all eat together, at the dinner table, mike (my husband) is often to sick to eat so he might stay in bed or in the livingroom watching tv. I eat my weetabix with everyone else, unless my stomach's feeling rough in which case I just have a glass of water.

we rarely have guests for dinner, occasionaly a friend and her daughter come over to visit, but it's very informal, they just have whatever's on the table...

6. How often do you introduce new food to your kids? Do you disguise it in such a way as to make it appealing, or are you pretty blatant about it? Are you a stickler for trying things out, or do you usually let things slide?

I don't have kids, but natasha cooks with me and has done for a year or so now, she's very good and open to trying new things (even if they look a bit odd!)

she trys everything once and as she isn't a picky eater I believe her if she says she doesn't like it, she's as likely to not like the pudding as her main course so I have no reason to suspect her of lying/being fussy. she likes haggis, though she's not too clear on what it's made of yet.

if she doesn't like her main course she's encouraged to eat the bits she does like, sometimes with an extra slice of bread to bulk it out.

7. If you have any dinner table traditions in your family not covered above or elsewhere, we'd love to hear them.

we have a candle on the table, it's lit before everyone comes in and stays lit until we're all ready to leave the table.

[SobaAddict70]

Thought I'd bump this one up for everyone as well.

There will be a test on Monday. (Just kidding, folks!)

Soba

[purplewiz]

Well, heck, as long as it's been bumped.....

1.  In your family, do you cook dinner every single day of the week from scratch, or is there one or two days set aside each week during which time you prepare food in advance for the week?  If you prepare things from scratch, are you able to prep some things in advance?

What's the definition of "from scratch"? If it means do I make my own sausage or ferment my own sauerkraut, the answer is not only no, but hell no. But if it means do I start with basic components and put them together to create the flavor and texture profile I'm looking for, yes, almost always.

I admit to having a couple frozen, prepackaged things in freezer for nights when I Just Can't Deal With Cooking Tonight. While I love cooking, there are some days when I'd rather run screaming naked through the snow (what a show that would put on for the neighbors) than pick up my knife.

I generally do the cooking of everything right before we're going to eat it. The exceptions are those processes that result in a lot of product, like Pesto Making Day (Labor Day), when I make pesto out of all our basil and freeze it for the next year's use. Or when I have enough chicken carcasses in the freezer to make a nice big batch of stock (which goes back into the freezer).

2.  In your family, who determines what to have for dinner?  How frequently does this happen?  To what extent are likes and dislikes taken into account when planning a menu?  Will you go out of your way to accomodate food preferences such as vegetarianism?

I do. I do 99.999% of the cooking and all the grocery shopping, so I decide what gets bought and what gets cooked. My family is my husband and myself, and while my husband is a dear, sweet, generous, caring, loving man, he's a lousy cook and a worse shopper. (Although he's learned to make a decent stir fry and I've started him in on basic quick chicken soup.)

I used to take all his stated dislikes into account and avoid them faithfully. However, it meant eliminating a lot of my favorite things, like mushrooms, and I found I couldn't live without them. So I made them anyway, and offered him some.....and he liked them. Turned out most of his dislikes came from his mother's cooking - she's a self-admitted lousy cook.

Fortunately, most of his REAL dislikes are similar to mine, so there's no issue there, since I don't make things I don't like.

As for guests, I take their dietary preferences into account. My sister and brother in law are vegetarians, and when they visit I stock some special stuff for them, just in case.

3.  Do you have a set repertoire from which to draw your meal ideas from?  Do you routinely explore new things and ideas to expand your dinner repertoire?  When you go food shopping, are you a coupon clipper or are you an impulse buyer?  Do you shop for food once a week, or do you shop for ingredients as you need them?

I have a standard repertoire of dishes that I tend to cook from - I haven't counted how many, but I'm guessing there are 40 or 50 of them. I don't tend to follow a set recipe, so even if I make chicken soup this week and next, they're liable to taste somewhat differently.

I do routinely try new dishes, mostly from cooking magazines or right here on egullet. If we like them, they ooze their way into the repertoire. If they don't, well, it was usually worth making once.

I am a coupon clipper. I have an accordion check file I use for filing them (with categories that make sense to me). When I'm in front of an item I want to buy that I believe I have a coupon for, I go through that section of the file. If I find it, it goes into the outside pocket of my purse, next to the list. So at the checkout counter, I just have to hand the checker my pile of coupons (which I've also checked for expiration date). I save enough money with coupons to pay for both newspaper subscriptions and then some. (Coupons compound the savings with the shopper cards, and they get doubled. It adds up.)

However, I am quite flexible when it comes to exactly what to buy, especially produce and meat. If there's a certain dish I want to try, I will list out all the ingredients I need to get. But for most dinners, I look around and see what's on sale and what's good. This is why we're eating so much kale lately - it's been VERY good, crisp and fresh and cheap. (Besides, we like it.)

I do a "major shop" once a week. If I need something specific for a certain dish, or I forgot something, I'll run out for it, and probably pick up a couple other things besides. About every other week I go to Whore Foods for the things I can't get at a cheaper grocery store, or that they don't have, like decent fish.

4.  What gets discussed at the dinner table?  Are there any topics that are considered off limits?

Off limits: Gross human bodily functions/fluids and detailed medical stories. Politics.

After that, we discuss what we feel like discussing. Could be his latest tube radio project, my sewing, how dinner was prepared, what the cats yacked up, or celebrity gossip.

Sometimes we both read. I grew up in a household where books, newspapers, or anything *interesting* were absolutely BANNED from the dinner table. We were supposed to talk. Which meant we argued, because the members of my family have very little in common. So I said when I grew up, if I wanted to read at the table, I would. It's nice to have the option. We don't read when the other wishes to talk, though.

5.  Do you have a set dinner hour, or does it vary from evening to evening?  When your family has dinner, does everyone join in at the table, or will some have dinner elsewhere in your home?  How often are kids (or relatives, or neighbors) over to have dinner at your home?  How often do you have guests (nonfamily/nonfamiliar) over for dinner?  How often do you have dinner parties?  Do you like to entertain?  When you entertain, do you involve your children or not?

Generally, dinner is at 6:00 pm (which means anywhere from 5:30 to 7:00, depending on how hungry we are), and we both eat together at the kitchen table. We have a formal dining room, but don't use it much.

We rarely have dinner guests, because most of our friends do not live in the same state we do, and the ones that are here are perennially too busy to socialize. I also gave up trying to have dinner parties, because it was just too difficult to find something I wanted to cook that also would fit in with all the food allergies/dietary restrictions/etc.

When everything falls together and we do have a chance to entertain, I enjoy pulling out all the stops.

6.  How often do you introduce new food to your kids?  Do you disguise it in such a way as to make it appealing, or are you pretty blatant about it?  Are you a stickler for trying things out, or do you usually let things slide?

No kids. The cats, however, are quite eager to try all kinds of new things. Oreo has discovered he loves stinky blue cheeses.

7.  If you have any dinner table traditions in your family not covered above or elsewhere, we'd love to hear them.

The tradition is that whoever doesn't cook does the dishes (loads the dishwasher).

Marcia.

[highchef]

This is a sister thread to the "How We Ate Growing Up" thread.

As I've surfed all over eGullet, I'm frequently struck by how people determine what they have for dinner, and family dinner habits from household to household.  I'm also curious as to how those of you who have children manage to get your children to eat new foods, and whether this is particularly difficult at dinnertime more so than any other time of the day or any other meal at any point in time.

So without further ado, here's a list of questions I've got.  Feel free to answer as much as you want or as little as you want.

1.  In your family, do you cook dinner every single day of the week from scratch, or is there one or two days set aside each week during which time you prepare food in advance for the week?  If you prepare things from scratch, are you able to prep some things in advance?

I'm not that organized I cook they eat if there are leftovers they see them again in a few days. I go from scratch, and the only prep work I do is wash the produce when I get it home.

2.  In your family, who determines what to have for dinner?  How frequently does this happen?  To what extent are likes and dislikes taken into account when planning a menu?  Will you go out of your way to accomodate food preferences such as vegetarianism?

I rule the kitchen here. and even with kids, I I've go an on vie for something, I'm gonna cook it. exception made for birthdays.

3.  Do you have a set repertoire from which to draw your meal ideas from?  Do you routinely explore new things and ideas to expand your dinner repertoire?  When you go food shopping, are you a coupon clipper or are you an impulse buyer?  Do you shop for food once a week, or do you shop for ingredients as you need them?

I started out cooking my mothers food but have been tweaking the dishes for so long they arn't the same. now I guess they (warts and all) are mine. I'd love to be a coupon clipper but I'm just so damn undiciplined. If it looks good I'll buy it and figure out what to do with it later.

4.  What gets discussed at the dinner table?  Are there any topics that are considered off limits?

dinner table gets used 3 times a year. does kitchen table/island count?? the criteria for food speak are Oscar wildsish "Morality, like art, means drawing a line some place" I know whats off limits when I hear it...kinda like the supreme court.

5.  Do you have a set dinner hour, or does it vary from evening to evening?  When your family has dinner, does everyone join in at the table, or will some have dinner elsewhere in your home?  How often are kids (or relatives, or neighbors) over to have dinner at your home?  How often do you have guests (nonfamily/nonfamiliar) over for dinner?  How often do you have dinner parties?  Do you like to entertain?  When you entertain, do you involve your children or not?

Nah, time to eat is when it's ready. whoever's here is welcome to eat, and very often do.

6.  How often do you introduce new food to your kids?  Do you disguise it in such a way as to make it appealing, or are you pretty blatant about it?  Are you a stickler for trying things out, or do you usually let things slide?

It's dinner, they eat it or make a sandwhich.

7.  If you have any dinner table traditions in your family not covered above or elsewhere, we'd love to hear them.

I miss the stack of sliced white bread we always had on the table growing up..I notice it's not done like that anymore. Now it's a bagette from the grocery store. Oh well, I can't fault people for refining their taste, but man..we must have put away a million loafs of Holsum.

Ok, I think that's enough for now. 

Soba

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[ratgirlny]

I have a husband and 2 kids, ages 4 and 2. I do most of the cooking.

1.  In your family, do you cook dinner every single day of the week from scratch, or is there one or two days set aside each week during which time you prepare food in advance for the week?  If you prepare things from scratch, are you able to prep some things in advance?

I cook dinner from scratch most nights. If we are really busy, it might be pretty simple, like sandwiches. On Friday night, we usually get delivery (Chinese, pizza, sushi)

2.  In your family, who determines what to have for dinner?  How frequently does this happen?  To what extent are likes and dislikes taken into account when planning a menu?  Will you go out of your way to accomodate food preferences such as vegetarianism?

I choose the menus. If I let my husband do it, we would be eating overdone pork chops or chicken with potatoes every single night. No one in our house currently has strict eating restrictions. However, my younger son was treated for a serious illness last spring which necessitated a lot of dietary modification - neutropenic diets are no fun. As for likes and dislikes - my kids eat almost anything. My husband doesn't like garlic, so I have had to, um, educate him on that one.

3.  Do you have a set repertoire from which to draw your meal ideas from?  Do you routinely explore new things and ideas to expand your dinner repertoire?  When you go food shopping, are you a coupon clipper or are you an impulse buyer?  Do you shop for food once a week, or do you shop for ingredients as you need them?

I have sort of a set repertoire, but I like to try new things every couple of weeks. I get my groceries delivered via Peapod, and shop for fresh veggies every few days. Our local supermarkets are awful beyond compare (suburban NYC) but I don't have time to go to the Whole Foods that often. In summer I make a weekly trip to the farmers market.

4.  What gets discussed at the dinner table?  Are there any topics that are considered off limits?

I have two preschool boys. We discuss rockets, constuction vehicles, toys in general. My husband and I occassionally discuss politics or work. We do not have a TV on during dinner, or any meal (TV is in another room). I have a bad habit of looking at the NYTimes at dinner, but I usually use it as a starting point for discussions, and the kids like to look at the pictures (although I have to seriously censor them).

5.  Do you have a set dinner hour, or does it vary from evening to evening?  When your family has dinner, does everyone join in at the table, or will some have dinner elsewhere in your home?  How often are kids (or relatives, or neighbors) over to have dinner at your home?  How often do you have guests (nonfamily/nonfamiliar) over for dinner?  How often do you have dinner parties?  Do you like to entertain?  When you entertain, do you involve your children or not?

By the time we get home from work and daycare pickup, and get everything together, it is 8:30 when we eat. I wish we could eat earlier, but I have never figured out how. I am amazed by people who eat at 6 - I don't even get home from work until 6:30, and my husband gets home closer to 7. We all eat together. We don't have external people over for dinner very often. When we socialize, it is usually to do outings with friends with kids, rather than dinners. We do entertain my husband's family, but their ideas on eating are so different from ours that we usually let them bring food and call it a potluck.

6.  How often do you introduce new food to your kids?  Do you disguise it in such a way as to make it appealing, or are you pretty blatant about it?  Are you a stickler for trying things out, or do you usually let things slide?

My kids eat new foods all the time. They aren't picky. We have always had the rule that they can eat what is on the table or nothing - we don't make second dinners. We do usually have a variety of foods on the table, and don't complain if they just eat, say, cherry tomatoes for dinner.

7.  If you have any dinner table traditions in your family not covered above or elsewhere, we'd love to hear them.

We usually light candles and have a tablecloth. My boys can be very silly, and they like to make their napkins into hats. I have taken many photos of them doing this.

[Chufi]

My family consists if me and my husband. My husband has a 16-year old daughter who comes to stay on weekends.

1. In your family, do you cook dinner every single day of the week from scratch, or is there one or two days set aside each week during which time you prepare food in advance for the week? If you prepare things from scratch, are you able to prep some things in advance?

I cook every day from scratch. I work parttime and on my days off and in the weekend, I sometimes cook in advance or I start dinner very early and do the prep work. When I have the time, I very much like to take it slow in the kitchen - put some music on.. relax.

2. In your family, who determines what to have for dinner? How frequently does this happen? To what extent are likes and dislikes taken into account when planning a menu? Will you go out of your way to accomodate food preferences such as vegetarianism?

I decide what's for dinner but I do think about my husbands likes and dislikes. He loves plain white rice.. and I hate plain white rice. So I know what to cook if I want to make him really happy. When my stepdaughter eats with us, I always try to make something that I know she'll like.

3. Do you have a set repertoire from which to draw your meal ideas from? Do you routinely explore new things and ideas to expand your dinner repertoire? When you go food shopping, are you a coupon clipper or are you an impulse buyer? Do you shop for food once a week, or do you shop for ingredients as you need them?

I am always reading cookery books and magazines looking out for new ideas. But sometimes seeing a beautiful pile of aubergines at the market can be the inspiration for a meal. And there are favorites that you just HAVE to have every now and then.. your own repertoire with recipes that get better and better every time you make them.

I shop for food almost daily (which is much more common in the Netherlands then in the US I think). I go to a farmers market once a week, anoterh open air market twice a week, and the supermarket almost daily.

4. What gets discussed at the dinner table? Are there any topics that are considered off limits?

When it's just me and my husband, sometimes we talk very little. We have nights when we are both very tired, when we like to eat a bowl of pasta in front of the tv. On other nights we discuss our day. When my stepdaughter is there or when we have friends over, I don't think there is any subject that I would consider off limits. Allthough I don't like it when discussions get very heated because it tends to take away the attention for the food.

5. Do you have a set dinner hour, or does it vary from evening to evening? When your family has dinner, does everyone join in at the table, or will some have dinner elsewhere in your home? How often are kids (or relatives, or neighbors) over to have dinner at your home? How often do you have guests (nonfamily/nonfamiliar) over for dinner? How often do you have dinner parties? Do you like to entertain? When you entertain, do you involve your children or not?

we usually eat around 6:30. We both eat a very light lunch so we're usually pretty hungry by then! We have friends over for casual dinners very often, sometimes 2 times a week. Formal entertaining not so much allthough I like to do a big dinner every now and then.

6. How often do you introduce new food to your kids? Do you disguise it in such a way as to make it appealing, or are you pretty blatant about it? Are you a stickler for trying things out, or do you usually let things slide?

because my stepdaughter does not live with us, I tend to make it easy for her foodwise and cook 'safe', which means things I know she'll like. At one point she did live with us (for a year), and then I did try to introduce her to new stuff - without much success.

7. If you have any dinner table traditions in your family not covered above or elsewhere, we'd love to hear them.

we have two dinner tables: one in the kitchen and one in the living/dining room. Where we eat depends on my mood and the food I am cooking - when it is a bit more elaborate, or more then one course, I will set the table in the dining room. But we always light candles.

And we always do the dishes after every meal. We don't have a dishwasher and I hate finding a sink full of dirty dishes first thing in the morning.