You know you are in a bad restaurant when....

[tryska]

oooohhh...yeah that's a bad sign.

[KateW]

I wonder, if each of us opened a restaurant in a country whose language was not our own, and had to name the restaurant in that language, what would we name it, and how badly would it be made fun of there?

[elyse]

I ate at The King And Thai in Boston once. It was really good.

Plus, when I was living in SF, there were a swillion restaurants which had punny names. It was seriously annoying, but the food was wonderful.

Kate, good point.

[fresco]

There used to be a restaurant in the trendy Kitsilano district of Vancouver called Fish on Yew, which I thought, in a punny way, summed up the attitude of the staff and proprietors to their customers. Not there anymore.

[alacarte]

True story:

A couple of weeks ago, I went to visit friends in Madison, Wisconsin, and on the way back from the airport we made a late-night stop at Caruso’s, a fast-food Italian joint. As we stood perusing the backlit menu posted above the pass-through window, we heard a nervous dish-washer stage-whisper to a co-worker:

“There are people out there!”

We burst into laughter, because it couldn’t be a good sign if the prospect of customers caught them off-guard.

[FoodMan]

sighs of exasperation from the waitstaff as soon as you walk in

then they ask you u if you NEED a menu...maybe they thought we will all order the Chef's special

Elie

[mongo_jones]

I wonder, if each of us opened a restaurant in a country whose language was not our own, and had to name the restaurant in that language, what would we name it, and how badly would it be made fun of there?

we indians don't really have that excuse

[Al_Dente]

I wonder, if each of us opened a restaurant in a country whose language was not our own, and had to name the restaurant in that language, what would we name it, and how badly would it be made fun of there? 

we indians don't really have that excuse

Sounds like a good idea for a thread. If you opened an American restaurant in India, what would you call it?

[mongo_jones]

I wonder, if each of us opened a restaurant in a country whose language was not our own, and had to name the restaurant in that language, what would we name it, and how badly would it be made fun of there? 

we indians don't really have that excuse

Sounds like a good idea for a thread. If you opened an American restaurant in India, what would you call it?

how about "yankee burger kitchen"?

wait, we already have tgif, mcdonald's and the rest.

[suzilightning]

- when you enter the restaurant there is no one else in it - except for the old guy snoozing on the couch in front of the television

- the flowers on the table are all dead

- the only drinks available are soda but no ice

- the bread is cold, the butter is as well and there is a small green inchworm in it

- your waitress turns out to be the person cooking

all true in a restaurant in Catskill, NY about 15 years ago. we didn't leave earlier because my friend's mom, who we were treating, kept saying - "it has to get better"

[Arey]

When the waitstaff goes down the street to eat when it's time for their lunch or dinner break. (This actually happened at a seaside restaurant in So. Jersey where I was the busboy/dishwasher one summer between college semesters)

[ivan]

... a roach runs across your table

... and asks for your order.

After telling you his name.

[WHS]

You know you are in a bad restaurant when....

you walk into a restaurant in Prague, ask when the next table will be available, and the waiter shrugs and says "tomorrow". (this really happened)

[mongo_jones]

You know you are in a bad restaurant when....

you walk into a restaurant in Prague, ask when the next table will be available, and the waiter shrugs and says "tomorrow". (this really happened)

well, if they're that busy it might be a good restaurant

[Juanito]

Anyplace that describes menu items as "grilled (or broiled, or sauteed, or whatever) to perfection".

Whose idea of perfection? Mine? The cook's? The dishwasher's?

And how the hell else would they prepare it, anyway?

Grilled not too badly?

[LOS]

You walk in, and every table is set with 3 different salad dressings in those containers that pancake houses use for syrups.

[Suzanne F]

Any place open 24/7.

:sigh of relief: Good. That lets out the branch of George Webb I used to patronize during college. Sometime in the middle of the night, the waitresses would stop whatever they were doing and announce, "We're closed." After one minute exactly, they'd resume and say, "Okay, we're open again."

Hey, Ivan and WHT, nice to see you (and your avatars) again.

[Katherine]

Any restaurant that has a banner on the front of the building advertising their upcoming holiday buffet special: "Better than last year!" - I hope so, but was it any good last year? And will it be good enough?

A restaurant of any ethnic persuasion that tries to draw in foot traffic with "Chicken Mango", the only dish they ever so advertise.

[jhlurie]

Any place open 24/7.

:sigh of relief: Good. That lets out the branch of George Webb I used to patronize during college. Sometime in the middle of the night, the waitresses would stop whatever they were doing and announce, "We're closed." After one minute exactly, they'd resume and say, "Okay, we're open again."

Some of the worst places I've ever been in were 24/7. But I've also been in three or four 24/7 places (at least two Diners and maybe two Korean restaurants) which weren't bad at all. So I'm not sure this one is an absolute rule. Then again, stuff frequently tastes better than it really is when you are drunk, so this may not be a very accurate report.

[EdS]

I'd drive by this "French bistro" on a main road each day on the way home from work many years ago and would see only a few cars parked out in the adjoining lot. This went on for about a year. I checked around for reviews and couldn't find anything. Finally, I called a buddy of mine and we decided to check it out. Perhaps all those folks crowding the local Italian and Mexican places were just afraid of French and we'd find ourselves a jewel. We just had to know.

It was a Friday night. We pulled into that nearly-vacant lot. The place was nearly windowless but we noticed a window near the back. We approached it to take a peek inside. It was a window into the kitchen. Hey, what's that?!? On the counter! A Kentucky Fried Chicken bucket!!! What the hell?!?

We hightailed it out of there and got ourselves some lasagne.

Hmm, Coq au Vin, Extra Crispy....

[GrizzyLemon]

You ask for hot tea and the waiter looks confused and asks if you want him to put the ice tea in a cup and heat it in the microwave for you.

The waitress mispronounces the names of common food items

You have an aversion to mayonaisse and mayo type products but the waiter/waitress can't seem to get over the 'secret' in their secret dressing to let you know if the sauce will be mayonaissy. "um...it's a special house dressing"

"Okay? well, is it creamy?" "Um...well it's not very creamy"

The only vinaigrette they have is light and so sweet you'd rather have pancake syrup.

[Pickles]

1) The first smell that greets you is burned garlic

2) You need a jackhammer to cut your carrots and broccoli

3) They serve carrots and broccoli

4) The waitress tosses out the remaining bit of $22 filet mignon you left on yor plate by "accident". Prior to that, she'd brought you the completely wrong entree.

4) You sent back an entree to be corrected, and it comes back with LESS food on the plate.

5) The people around you in that "nice" restaurant are behaving like drunken Yahoos.

6) The place is hot as an oven

7) Your food is ice cold

8) The salad bar has all "prepared in a bucket" salads that get dumped in at regular intervals. Always a Three-Bean. Always a BAD potato salad. Always beets.

9) The asparagus has "Holl N' Daze" sauce and the special is "Krab Kakes."

Edited December 8, 2003 by Pickles (log)

[beans]

When the waitstaff goes down the street to eat when it's time for their lunch or dinner break. (This actually happened at a seaside restaurant in So. Jersey where I was the busboy/dishwasher one summer between college semesters)

Sometimes it is house policy that staff cannot order at their own employing restaurant.

[elyse]

This is true. Plus, you can get awful sick of eating the same food day after day.

[Mudpuppie]

Any place where the waitstaff sits down in your booth while taking your order.

Any place (this may be a given) that smells like urine, inside or out.

Any place with "Olde" or "Shoppe" in the name. Or, for that matter, "Ye."

Personally, I also avoid places that are adjacent to dry cleaners. Or near crematoriums.

I also avoid places that keep their fly strips or bug zappers in public view.

I never eat at places that employ "sandwich artists."

Automatically on the list: any restaurant adjacent to or within walking distance from Wal-Mart. Hell, let's make that within sight of Wal-mart.