Most Useless Kitchen Items and Utensils

[maggiethecat]

But I use it all the time instead of a cheesecloth bag for a bayleaf, peppercorns, cloves, cinnamon stick, etc. that I don't wish to fish out of my braises and poaches. In fact, I found a one big enough (in an Asian grocery) that you can stuff a bunch of herbs in, too.

Smacks forehead! Mott, this is an absolutely fabulous idea. Thank you.

[dls]

Just reviewed the posts of "useless" items previously submitted and, for the most part, I concur. Over the years, I've either purchased or received as gifts, many of the same items. Consequently, I thought I had nothing further to offer until this morning. As I sat at the kitchen counter with my coffee and paper I looked up and saw IT. Though not necessarily classified as a utensil, IT is my microwave oven. I don't recall using IT for anything other than warming a cup of coffee that has cooled off. A hell of a lot of counter space wasted for that seldom, sole function. IT now is in temporary residence in my trash container (pickup is tommorrow). I feel cleansed.

[Rachel Perlow]

If IT works, why don't you donate to to Goodwill instead of a landfill?

[dls]

If IT works, why don't you donate to to Goodwill instead of a landfill?

Good idea. Retrieved IT and found a box. Instead of Goodwill, called a shelter for women subject to domestic violence and asked if they could use IT. The one they had recently died so they were in need. IT will be theirs later today.

[docsconz]

I'm a gadget freak and probably own at least one of most of the things mentioned here (except for the egg-stractor). I like a shrimp deveiner, but don't use my garlic press much anymore. I find that it cleans much more easily if done immediately. The apple corers are good too, especially the oxo. I agree with the oxo sponge on a stick. It stinks, although I didn't like the brush thing either. Both use way too much detergent.

My most useless piece of junk though has to be the herb mincer mentioned above. I'm not sure which make mine was, but it was absolutely useless. It t would bruise parsley fine, but cut it - nah. It was a small plastic roller with about 4 metal blades and a plastic "catch" bin.

[Mottmott]

Not to discourage dls from donating her microwave. Big round of applause.

But: I used to think I didn't use my microwave enough to justify the space, too, until I gave it to my DIL. Now I have a new one (also small). Living alone usually (though not at the moment), I find it's great for reheating little serving sized ziplocks of stews, soups, etc. that I have from leftovers. I use it to heat water for green tea without dragging out a pan. And I LOVE it for steaming veggies (and even some fish), especially steaming cabbage (put in deep bowl, cover with plastic wrap, and cook using only the droplets of water from washing the cabbage -hardly even needs that much water; time varies according to how much cabbage there is). It makes the MOST delicious, sweet cabbage that you can then either eat as is or use in some dish. Of course it works with other vegs as well, but the cabbage is my fav and better when done in the microwave as well as easier. It's particularly nice to use it in hot weather, avoiding heating up the kitchen.

About the tea ball. The ones I like are made of mesh and they keep everything in. They're on a chain that can be hooked to the side of the pan. The biggest I've seen is about 3" and often comes in a box. I've also seen one that's oblong and about 4" long, a good shape for herbs with stems. I give them as gifts.

Another mesh gadget I like and give to people I like: a mesh insert for the kitchen sink. It, unlike the one sinks come with, catches everything. I have several and cycle them through the DW. I use it in the side without the garbage disposal. Iti's a real drain saver.

It's funny how there are so many expensive gadgets we all get (and groan about their uselessness), and then there are the handful of really cheap useful ones like microplaners, etc.

[smallworld]

I love most of my gadgets, including my garlic press and shrimp peeler (had no idea it could also devein- I always use a toothpick).

Only two useless gadgets- one was a wooden drop-lid. Looked cool and did the job but it quickly sprouted a fine fuzzy covering of green mould (due to the hot humid Japanese summers and not to the level of hygeine in my kitchen!). After dozens of scrubbings and bleach soaks it kept growing back so I finally replaced with an ugly metal one, which looks fine and remains fuzz-free.

The other is a tempura thermometer which is basicly a pair of metal and plastic chopsticks that you dip in your oil to find out the temperature. Great idea theoretically, especially since it also doubles as a pair of regular cooking chopsticks. Only problem was it was slow to read the tempurature and had to be held in the oil for MINUTES. A complete waste of time, but just leaving them in the oil while I made busy with other stuff resulted in the chopsticks falling out of the (round-bottomed) tempura pot and splashing hot oil around. Once I managed to balance the chopsticks against a neighboring kettle and I forgot about them until the plastic parts melted.

Soon after I trashed them I learned how easy it is to tell the temperature by inserting regular old wooden chopsticks and observing the bubbles...

[Rachel Perlow]

Wooden drop-lid? Wassat?

[rancho_gordo]

I'm a new member catching up on all the old posts. It's a gas! I feel like I just entered a really great party.

My useless gadget is the new avocado slicer. What was I thinking? Most avocados are too big and it leaves lots of valuable pulp in the bottom and the slices start to fall apart as you take them out of the slicer.

Small, unripe fruit wold be perfect for this piece of junk.

[Toliver]

I'm a new member catching up on all the old posts. It's a gas! I feel like I just entered a really great party.

My useless gadget is the new avocado slicer. What was I thinking? Most avocados are too big and it leaves lots of valuable pulp in the bottom and the slices start to fall apart as you take them out of the slicer.

Small, unripe fruit wold be perfect for this piece of junk.

I have one of those slicers, too.

But since taking a knife instruction class last summer, I can do it quickly without benefit of a slicer. I even taught my 73 year old mom how to do it. She was thrilled with the "trick" and ended up serving sliced avocado with everything in the ensuing weeks.

[Lisa1349]

Truffle Shaver. This was a gift (or a tease). To get any real use out it I'd have to blow a week's take home pay. About as useful as an Aston Martin key ring without the key that goes with it.

Use it to shave chocolate or hard cheese.

My useless tool is the strawberry stemmer/pineapple eye remover. It looks like a tool dermatologists should use to remove cancerous moles. It leaves strawberries mangled, and isn't sharp enough for pineapples. After seeing it in every kitchen tool section, I was convinced I must have one. EEk.

I love cherry pitters, people are often impressed over fresh cherry pies and it works on olives, too.

[cjs]

I'm also in the "no" category on the garlic press thing.

My useless item... those little plastic corns that your supposed to stick in

the ends of real corn on the cob, so as to not get your dainties dirty.

also in my kitchen, but not bought by me!, a waffle maker, a HUGE vegetable steamer, a bread maker(did use twice), and enough tupperware without lids, to keep the queen mary afloat.

[Human Bean]

I used to have one of those things that cuts garlic into perfect 1/16 inch cubes that was mentioned awhile ago. It's called the Genius Garlic Cutter, and was a gift. While it did a good job, it was a PITA to use; it took several minutes to crank out those perfect little chunks (and more minutes later to disassemble and clean the thing), versus just a few seconds to make larger, less perfect minced garlic by hand. I threw the thing away.

Another useless gift that I got was one of those automatic apple peeler-corer things with the crank and long screw that rotates the apple over a cutting blade. All it ever did was make a big mess of the apple - it would fall off the prongs that hold it on the screw, and the mechanism that's supposed to follow the contour of the apple and neatly peel it did a horrible job. I tried sharpening the cutter to razor-sharpness, and that didn't result in any improvement at all. I put it back in it's box, stashed it in the garage, and left it there when I moved.

[cbarre02]

A stack of cook books that my mother in law gave me. Most of them are from grage sales and say "FROM: Bob, TO: Dorthy", on the inside cover. Copyrights from 1950-1978.

[smallworld]

Wooden drop-lid? Wassat?

It's a flat lid, traditionally made of wood, that is a bit smaller than the circumference of a pot. It is used when simmering and is directly dropped on top of the food being simmered. It keeps the food from moving around and breaking up, and allows the food to suck up maximum flavour from the simmering liquid.

A must-have item for the Japanese kitchen!

[fifi]

I used to have one of those things that cuts garlic into perfect 1/16 inch cubes that was mentioned awhile ago. It's called the Genius Garlic Cutter, and was a gift. While it did a good job, it was a PITA to use; it took several minutes to crank out those perfect little chunks (and more minutes later to disassemble and clean the thing), versus just a few seconds to make larger, less perfect minced garlic by hand. I threw the thing away.

OH MY GOD!

You have found my holy grail of gadgets. I have mentioned my lust for just such a thing on other threads. I don't care if it takes a week to clean. I make mojo de ajo all the time. That requires 1/2 to a whole cup of evenly diced garlic. Do you know what a PITA that is?

[Marlene]

Sobey's has recently started to sell frozen cubes of minced garlic. Really. The containers have several individual cubes in them, and you just pop one out when you need one.

[Mottmott]

Wooden drop-lid? Wassat?

It's a flat lid, traditionally made of wood, that is a bit smaller than the circumference of a pot. It is used when simmering and is directly dropped on top of the food being simmered. It keeps the food from moving around and breaking up, and allows the food to suck up maximum flavour from the simmering liquid.

A must-have item for the Japanese kitchen!

I thought that's what pot lids are for, just use the next smaller size.

[Toliver]

Wooden drop-lid? Wassat?

It's a flat lid, traditionally made of wood, that is a bit smaller than the circumference of a pot. It is used when simmering and is directly dropped on top of the food being simmered. It keeps the food from moving around and breaking up, and allows the food to suck up maximum flavour from the simmering liquid.

A must-have item for the Japanese kitchen!

I thought that's what pot lids are for, just use the next smaller size.

I've seen Sara Moulton on FoodTV use a circle of wax paper (or was it parchment paper?) for this purpose. I never understood the intention behind it. Thanks, Rachel, for explaining it.

[davidthomas8779]

Truffle Shaver. This was a gift (or a tease). To get any real use out it I'd have to blow a week's take home pay. About as useful as an Aston Martin key ring without the key that goes with it.

No, these are astoundingly useful for use on ginger. For some reason they work great on ginger in spite of its fibrosity (isn't that the technical term for being really fibrous?)

[AzRaeL]

You have found my holy grail of gadgets. I have mentioned my lust for just such a thing on other threads. I don't care if it takes a week to clean. I make mojo de ajo all the time. That requires 1/2 to a whole cup of evenly diced garlic. Do you know what a PITA that is?

Whoa! even the Knife-Happy such as myself would tire after the first few bulbs.

And can you imagine how bad i'd smell from touching so much garlic?

[Human Bean]

I used to have one of those things that cuts garlic into perfect 1/16 inch cubes that was mentioned awhile ago. It's called the Genius Garlic Cutter...

You have found my holy grail of gadgets. I have mentioned my lust for just such a thing on other threads. I don't care if it takes a week to clean.

Sigh! If only I'd known, I'd have sent the infernal contraption to you, and probably have paid the postage myself just to get rid of it.

1/2 to a full cup of chopped garlic? That'd easily take more than an hour, perhaps up to two using that stupid thing, and result in far more wrist strain than you'd ever get doing it by hand. Great if you're a fan of carpal-tunnel problems, not so great otherwise. [Although, if you're an Alton Brown fan, you could probably figure out a way to graft a fitting onto the thing to adapt it to an electric drill; this didn't occur to me at the time, but might make it manageable. The cutter has a very fine-pitched screw thread on it, meaning LOTS of turning, and seemed to require more force to turn it than seemed reasonable; it didn't seem like lubrication would help.]

That said, if you're really keen on one of these, search Google or Amazon for "Genius Garlic Cutter" and you will find what you're seeking. Amazon has it for $25 (way too much, to me anyway) in a bundle with a (pointless) peeler tube-thing, and a (pointless) metal tray to hold the finished product.

[fifi]

1/2 to a full cup of chopped garlic? That'd easily take more than an hour, perhaps up to two using that stupid thing, and result in far more wrist strain than you'd ever get doing it by hand.

Rats... I can do it with my knife in an hour. Actually, I usually do a cup at a time and it usually takes me a little over an hour if I use the big cloves.

[KarenS]

smallworld, I cut a circle of parchment paper to fit and drop it on top. If I am poaching pears (or some floating item), I drop a small saute pan on top of the paper to keep them submerged.

[Human Bean]

1/2 to a full cup of chopped garlic? That'd easily take more than an hour, perhaps up to two using that stupid thing, and result in far more wrist strain than you'd ever get doing it by hand.

Rats... I can do it with my knife in an hour. Actually, I usually do a cup at a time and it usually takes me a little over an hour if I use the big cloves.

At the risk of being redundant, imagine turning a pepper mill for an hour, or even a half-hour. Even with frequent breaks, it's still tedious, and possibly not good for those carpal tunnels; that's the Genius Garlic Cutter.

After thinking about it for awhile though, the idea of adapting it to fit a variable-speed electric drill seems almost feasible-- wish I'd thought of it earlier. It's a non-trivial project, but if you want lots of perfectly consistent tiny garlic cubes, it might still be worth considering.

The price of the gadget is still somewhat off-putting though; trying to add a fitting for a drill might make it even less desirable. YMMV.