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GIVE THEM BACK DAMN IT

Monica Bhide

By Monica Bhide
in Food Traditions & Culture

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Monica Bhide

Monica Bhide

Posted
Posted

I am in a mean mood today. I collect cookbooks, from far and wide, old and new -- you get the idea. then along come people, borrow them and dont give them back. "I lost it" "My son ripped out the pages" " you can always get another one" "its only a cookbook"

I want my books back -- there is so much more to them than material value.

Have you had people do that? What do you do? How do you handle it?

Monica Bhide

A Life of Spice

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MatthewB

MatthewB

Posted
Posted (edited)

I used to have the same problems.

I changed my policy so as to only loan books that I don't care if they are returned or not.

If someone asks about a book that I wish not to loan, I give them a mini-lecture on my number one pet peeve: broken book spines. At that point, they will say, "I think I'll just pick it up at the library or buy a copy for myself."

:biggrin:

Edited by MatthewB (log)
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fifi

fifi

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Posted

I don't loan them out. If asked, I just say... "Sorry, but I consider my books my personal companions so I have a policy of not loaning them out." If they don't like that, tough.

Well... I do make an exception with one friend that has a history of returning them promptly and in original condition. We usually share a new book so that the other can decide whether or not to purchase a copy.

One thing that I don't do as consistently as I should is to put my name and the date of acquisition on the front page or inside on the cover. I keep meaning to get some of those sticker thingys but I never get around to it. The thought is that if the miscreant continues to see that, they will remember that the book is NOT theirs. Well... maybe not. :blink:

Linda LaRose aka "fifi"

"Having spent most of my life searching for truth in the excitement of science, I am now in search of the perfectly seared foie gras without any sweet glop." Linda LaRose

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Jinmyo

Jinmyo

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People sign them out. Two weeks. They're sent an email if they're late returning it.

"I've caught you Richardson, stuffing spit-backs in your vile maw. 'Let tomorrow's omelets go empty,' is that your fucking attitude?" -E. B. Farnum

"Behold, I teach you the ubermunch. The ubermunch is the meaning of the earth. Let your will say: the ubermunch shall be the meaning of the earth!" -Fritzy N.

"It's okay to like celery more than yogurt, but it's not okay to think that batter is yogurt."

Serving fine and fresh gratuitous comments since Oct 5 2001, 09:53 PM

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Carolyn Tillie

Carolyn Tillie

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Shawn and I are maniacal book collectors (to the toon of 2,000 plus tomes). We only lend books we know are inexpensively replaceable (remainders or bargain books). On some of the really good ones, we actually buy two and three copies, knowing we will be lending them out and probably not having them returned.

Rare or hard-to-find books? Our friends know they are welcome at our house anytime to peruse our collection. I'll serve tea and scones or wine and cheese and a great time is had by all - but the books don't leave the house.

I MAKE FOOD JEWELRY!

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bloviatrix

bloviatrix

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I don't loan them out. If asked, I just say... "Sorry, but I consider my books my personal companions so I have a policy of not loaning them out." If they don't like that, tough.

:laugh::laugh:

My husband always comments about my books being my friends.

I won't lend out cookbooks. Don't trust anyone with them. But friends are more than welcome to come over and skim.

As for all the other books we have (which are many), I only lend out books that were cheap and won't miss if never returned. Parents are the exception, but I make them sign a release (I'm serious, my dad misplaced one of my first editions and claims I never lent it to him. I ever since I use this method as proof) and after 6 months it has to be returned. I'll even pick it up to reclaim if I must.

"Some people see a sheet of seaweed and want to be wrapped in it. I want to see it around a piece of fish."-- William Grimes

"People are bastard-coated bastards, with bastard filling." - Dr. Cox on Scrubs

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Monica Bhide

Monica Bhide

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I think I will just stop lending the precious ones out. A friend returned one last week witha few pages missing.. this was a treasured book from the 1950s. One person still has not returned a really wonderful book on Middle Eastern cooking -- I am so mad -- they claim to have lost it. Not fair

Ofcourse if I say no, and i will, i am not sure they will understand. But I love these books too much

Monica Bhide

A Life of Spice

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tejon

tejon

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I used to have the same problems.

I changed my policy so as to only loan books that I don't care if they are returned or not.

Exactly what I do as well. There is a very short list of people who I would entrust my favorite cookbooks to, though oddly enough they never ask - they usually go and get their own copy of whatever it is that was inspiring lust.

I would be beyond angry if someone borrowed one of my cookbooks and didn't return it. Recipes are one of the things I would save in the event of a fire - they mean that much to me!

Kathy

Cooking is like love. It should be entered into with abandon or not at all. - Harriet Van Horne

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tryska

tryska

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Posted (edited)

i've found a novel solution - i just make friends with people who don't read. problem solved.

(ok - i'm kidding - i just make it a general rule not to lend out books or money.)

and erm..sorry for the pun.

Edited by tryska (log)
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fresco

fresco

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Posted
I'd say stick to your guns and don't lend. If it is someone you really like, and it is possible, buy them a copy.

Or take them to the library & assist them with the library card application! :raz:

I'm constantly amazed at how few people I know who possess a library card, let alone ever go to the library.

Arthur Johnson, aka "fresco"
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wawairis

wawairis

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I don't loan them out. If asked, I just say... "Sorry, but I consider my books my personal companions so I have a policy of not loaning them out." If they don't like that, tough.

:laugh::laugh:

My husband always comments about my books being my friends.

Gee, I thought I was the only person that thought like that. I will lend my books to friends and family, but if I think they won't give it back, they'll never get it.

I actually sleep with about 4 books in my bed. I know, I know, I need to go to the life store and get a life! :laugh:

Iris

GROWWWWWLLLLL!!

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Monica Bhide

Monica Bhide

Posted
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I don't loan them out. If asked, I just say... "Sorry, but I consider my books my personal companions so I have a policy of not loaning them out." If they don't like that, tough.

:laugh::laugh:

My husband always comments about my books being my friends.

Gee, I thought I was the only person that thought like that. I will lend my books to friends and family, but if I think they won't give it back, they'll never get it.

I actually sleep with about 4 books in my bed. I know, I know, I need to go to the life store and get a life! :laugh:

Now this is me too -- I have more books than clothese and shoes put together. i love my books :wub:

Monica Bhide

A Life of Spice

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peanutgirl

peanutgirl

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None of my friends or family understand my addiction to cookbooks...so I don't have to worry about lending them out, or saying no .

I told my sister that I just ordered 8 cookbooks from my cookbook club...she said "8 cookbooks! That's more than I have total !" :blink:

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browniebaker

browniebaker

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I never ever lend my books, just as I never ask to borrow another's books.

If I am asked whether I will lend a particular book, I tell them I can't part with the book and offer to find them a copy through the public library or find the book at a good price. No one's ever taken me up on the offer, though.

To get a book back, consider trying this ploy, a variation of which worked for me when someone borrowed a dress-pattern of mine and kept it for ages: "I need to use X recipe from that book. May I borrow it back for a while?" Wheh you have secured the book in your hands, run away fast and never lend it again.

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beans

beans

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"I lost it" "My son ripped out the pages" " you can always get another one" "its only a cookbook"

****

Have you had people do that? What do you do? How do you handle it?

"I lost it" -- usually garners a hint on where one may be purchased as replacement.

"My son ripped out the pages" -- I usually start seething.

"its only a cookbook" -- Then they just don't *get* it!

The only time I've lent and borrowed a book was from one friend of mine that shared the same respect for it as I did. (however it wasn't cookbooks) I thanked her by covering the dust jacket with archival mylar with acid free paper flaps that overlap and can be taped without ever making contact with the jacket. She's moved, and gee, I really miss her. (We did the coffee and bakery thing at eachother's houses whenever we got a new addition to the collection).

However, come to think of it, I have also borrowed an Italian cookbook from my mother, and I think she has since long forgotten about.... :biggrin:

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torakris

torakris

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I have a group of 3 other friends and we all swap cookbooks, living in Japan we don't have access to the books at a library and buying books is usually done sight unseen and can get expensive. We never have had problems, it is sort of an unwritten rule that any damage caused means that person is responsible for a replacement.

This happened the first time I lent a book to one of these friends, one of her sons tore out a couple pages, she told me about it and said she would find me a new copy, I said it was ok that I have a lot of books with loose pages and it wasn't a big deal. She insisted on buying me a new copy, it took close to 6 month and cost her about $60 (for a $15 book) because it was out of print.

I would never lend to anyone outside of this group though......

Kristin Wagner, aka "torakris"

 

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maggiethecat

maggiethecat

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I guess I'm very lucky. These are the only people I know who clamor to borrow a cookbook:

1)My mother. Actually that's not true. She'll ask for a recommendation and buy it herself.

2)Heartland eGulls, who care for your book as if it were their child. And in fact, I've only lent cookbooks twice to my posse, because they usually own them already!

Margaret McArthur

"Take it easy, but take it."

Studs Terkel

1912-2008

A sensational tennis blog from freakyfrites

margaretmcarthur.com

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bloviatrix

bloviatrix

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In light of so many of us considering our books companions, I thought this quote from the Swedish writer Henning Mankell, in today's NY Times to be remarkably appropriate:

"You can have close friends among the dead, among the living and among the fictitious."

"Some people see a sheet of seaweed and want to be wrapped in it. I want to see it around a piece of fish."-- William Grimes

"People are bastard-coated bastards, with bastard filling." - Dr. Cox on Scrubs

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kimabima

kimabima

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peanutgirl you spoke for me as well!

I wish I had a friend who lived nearby and loved cookbooks as much as I do! Everyone I know (in person :smile: ) can't believe how many cookbooks I own and how special they are to me. I sometimes feel I am alone in my obession until I come to sites like this.

Thank you all for making me sane! :smile:

I am curious as to the name of that wonderful Middle eastern book Monica!

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Monica Bhide

Monica Bhide

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You know -- I dont remember the name of the author -- this was lent out almost three years ago.. I still miss it. It was a huge coffeetable type book and the title was Middle Eastern Cooking. It had the most amazing recipes for Umm Ali and for other desserts... The cover was in brown tones with pics of chicken I think... I will try to jog my memory. It is an old book -- published at least 15 years ago if not longer..it was longer -- I called my dad and asked him. It was from the late sixties not fifties as I had originally thought

Edited by Monica Bhide (log)

Monica Bhide

A Life of Spice

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