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Friends/Relatives' imposed food conditions

FoodMan

By FoodMan
in Food Traditions & Culture

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bilrus

bilrus

Posted
Posted

I think it's highly unlikely that they would go online given their apparent distaste for anything flavorful or good. Although I am typing this as my in-laws are sitting on the sofa ten feet away from me.

I have to give credit where credit is due though. My father in law's bean soup last night was actually pretty darned good.

Bill Russell

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jsolomon

jsolomon

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:blink: Wow... all of these stories make my continuing argument with my S.O. about what food items nuts go in.

I, following my mother's and my father's example, believe that nuts go in a bowl to be eat out-of-hand, or in breading and into hot oil. S.O., however, believes that nuts go in everything, especially chocolate.

Fortunately, the ribbing about this is still good-natured, and I will eat things with hidden nuts, but refuse to cook them except for special occasions.

I always attempt to have the ratio of my intelligence to weight ratio be greater than one. But, I am from the midwest. I am sure you can now understand my life's conundrum.

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Mottmott

Mottmott

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Update: making beef stock these last couple days elicited the complaint, "Why are you doing that in this heat?" (Though my son was happy enough to have a plateful of the stock and its fixings in the making.)

It's wonderful to be able to vent. I'm happy that my son and his family stay with me while they house hunt after moving back here. Most of my frustrations with this are in the kitchen. This outlet make them easier to bear.

"Half of cooking is thinking about cooking." ---Michael Roberts

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KNorthrup

KNorthrup

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I'm hope these relatives don't visit e-Gullet  :unsure: .

Careful. I made a crack about a co-worker's rendition of Cincinnati style chile recently and he came across the thread while doing a basic Google search for recipes.

My father's mother and grandmother used to always hassle my mother about not using their recipes for things, esp potato salad, but I haven't run into any issues yet. No one's picky. Reading this, I'm grateful.

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s'kat

s'kat

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my father makes me cook his steak well-done.  it doesn't really bother me all that much.

My mother won't eat a steak unless it has been carbonised and blackened.

In fact, she won't eat any meat unless everly last life-giving molecule has been blazed out of it. :sad:

It really pains me to do this when I've taken the time to procure the best Delmonicos my butcher has to offer.

s'kat and the food
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Jinmyo

Jinmyo

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My mother won't eat a steak unless it has been carbonised and blackened.

In fact, she won't eat any meat unless everly last life-giving molecule has been blazed out of it.  :sad:

It really pains me to do this when I've taken the time to procure the best Delmonicos my butcher has to offer.

Then don't give her one. Buy a cheaper steak for her.

"I've caught you Richardson, stuffing spit-backs in your vile maw. 'Let tomorrow's omelets go empty,' is that your fucking attitude?" -E. B. Farnum

"Behold, I teach you the ubermunch. The ubermunch is the meaning of the earth. Let your will say: the ubermunch shall be the meaning of the earth!" -Fritzy N.

"It's okay to like celery more than yogurt, but it's not okay to think that batter is yogurt."

Serving fine and fresh gratuitous comments since Oct 5 2001, 09:53 PM

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Savour Chef

Savour Chef

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Wow. You guys are HARDCORE.

I know you're just venting here and all.....BUT.....maybe it's the hospitable Greek in me, but my golden rule has always been to cook whatever my GUEST enjoys - not necessarily what *I* enjoy. I've done this even when I've been totally grossed out by what I was cooking (okra!). I mean, isn't the basic premise of inviting guests into your home, family or not, to make them feel comfortable? And wouldn't that mean serving them what they *like*. Would you force those non-alcoholics to drink alcohol because it's the only thing you're serving tonight, or would you offer some different choices? Same thing in my book.

Plus, life's too short to let these little food things get in the way of family - I mean who are we to impose our food beliefs/likes/dislikes or say what's "right" or "wrong" with a meal?

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ronnie_suburban

ronnie_suburban

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I know you're just venting here and all.....

Bingo! :smile:

But seriously, when I am on the 'guest end' of this equation, I'd never give any instructions to my hosts. That's why I have the same expectation when I am the host. I do accomodate and I'm often happy to do it (*whispers* we have vegetarians in my family) but I'd never make any special requests of a person who is inviting me over and doing a lot of work already to make it happen.

=R=

"Hey, hey, careful man! There's a beverage here!" --The Dude, The Big Lebowski

LTHForum.com -- The definitive Chicago-based culinary chat site

ronnie_suburban 'at' yahoo.com

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bilrus

bilrus

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Wow.  You guys are HARDCORE. 

I know you're just venting here and all.....BUT.....maybe it's the hospitable Greek in me, but my golden rule has always been to cook whatever my GUEST enjoys - not necessarily what *I* enjoy.  I've done this even when I've been totally grossed out by what I was cooking (okra!).  I mean, isn't the basic premise of inviting guests into your home, family or not, to make them feel comfortable?  And wouldn't that mean serving them what they *like*.  Would you force those non-alcoholics to drink alcohol because it's the only thing you're serving tonight, or would you offer some different choices?  Same thing in my book. 

Plus, life's too short to let these little food things get in the way of family - I mean who are we to impose our food beliefs/likes/dislikes or say what's "right" or "wrong" with a meal?

What bothers me is not the idea of cooking what the guests want. It is the fact that the guests then have the gall to complain (or make faces or poke at the food in a sort of passive aggressive way) when you do go along with their desires.

When I am forced to eat bad food at someone's house when I am a guest, I always do it with a smile.

Bill Russell

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Savour Chef

Savour Chef

Posted
Posted
Related question.  Does family, esp when you see them regularly, count as "guests" in this context?

I would think. I guess you could loosley define a guest as someone who is not physically part of your home. Cause God knows "family" have many of these "imposed food conditions".

A little off topic, but in the same region, I've observed that whatever style you grew up with is how you feel about accommodating food requests. I see it alot with my non-European friends where they tell their children/guests that they'll eat what's on the table, or not at all. Whereas Europeans tend to bend over backwards to make whatever their kids/guests wants to eat -- even if it's not the menu.

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bilrus

bilrus

Posted
Posted (edited)
It is the fact that the guests then have the gall to complain (or make faces or poke at the food in a sort of passive aggressive way) when you do go along with their desires.

who the hell are you inviting to your home for dinner? :blink:

Family. I'm not sure that I would say they are 'invited'.

I am talking specifically about my in-laws who were at our house to 'help out' after my wife had surgery. I certainly appreciated the help, but it is difficult to cook for them.

Edited to add:

I think in most cases on this thread it has been family members who cause the problems. The people we all invite for meals at our houses are more likely to be similar in taste to us or at least grateful for the invitation. in the case of families, it is likely to be neither of these.

Edited by bilrus (log)

Bill Russell

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Raynickben

Raynickben

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Posted

What would you suggest I do when certain family members will only eat nonfat or at best lowfat cheese which we all know is crap when it comes to cooking? I have actually made my world famous lasagna, by request, only to be questioned as I pull it out of the oven: "Did you use the lowfat cheese?"

If you want to eat my lasagna you must eat the whole milk cheese!!!! End of story.

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slkinsey

slkinsey

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Related question.  Does family, esp when you see them regularly, count as "guests" in this context?

Not to me. My mother certainly made very little accomodation to my tastes when she was doing the cooking. Her rule was always "I am cooking something I like for dinner. If you don't like it, then you can either have nothing or you can cook dinner for the entire family." I adhere to the same rule when cooking for my parents.

NB. Both my parents are only children and the grandparents have all gone to their great reward, so I don't have a lot of this kind of thing to deal with.

--

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slkinsey

slkinsey

Posted
Posted
I see it alot with my non-European friends where they tell their children/guests that they'll eat what's on the table, or not at all.  Whereas Europeans tend to bend over backwards to make whatever their kids/guests wants to eat -- even if it's not the menu.

Really?! That's not been my observation. Rather quite the opposite.

--

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Suzanne F

Suzanne F

Posted
Posted
I have actually made my world famous lasagna, by request, only to be questioned as I pull it out of the oven: "Did you use the lowfat cheese?" 

the answer in that situation, of course, is "oh yes of course."

I disagree. The answer is: "You asked for MY lasagna, right?"

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