Help - relationship advice

[crinoidgirl]

My girlfriend won't eat anything that isn't covered with cheese or mayo. I need to get her to eat healthier (not to mention I can't cook anything for her, since it may have the dreaded salt and spices and herbs in it ) ANY suggestions? She has some health issues which would be made better with a better diet.

Sorry in advance for bringing everyone down

V

(edited for dumbass typos)

Edited August 10, 2003 by crinoidgirl (log)

[Nick]

The old DI (drill instructor) says maybe it's time to find a new girlfriend.

[browniebaker]

Is this an eating disorder, or just hyper-pickiness?

[Jaymes]

My girlfriend won't eat anything that isn't covered with cheese or mayo.

I'd start by trying to find ingredients that taste pretty good on their own or with just a little salt.

In other words, really fresh stuff right from a farmer's market or fishmonger.

And tell her you're going to fix it like she likes it, but with the cheese, mayo, whatever "on the side."

See if you can't get her to take just a few bites before she smooshes the cheese back over onto it all.

Find whatever few things she already eats without cheese or mayo, and expand upon them.

Offer her little bonuses or treats for at least trying stuff that is not normally on her "acceptable" radar.

(Boy, does this sound a lot like raising kids. )

[KateW]

You could try some weird aversion therapy where you make her so sick of cheese and mayo she will never eat it again

[Jaymes]

You could try some weird aversion therapy where you make her so sick of cheese and mayo she will never eat it again 

Excellent idea.

I'd suggest you go at once to your closest farming equipment store and invest in a cattle prod.

That should do the trick in no time.

[Katherine]

It's sad, but you can't help someone that doesn't want and can't accept help, especially if they are obsessed with some weird non-standard sorts of diet modifications.

The more you push, the more fixated she will be.

[elyse]

It's sad, but you can't help someone that doesn't want and can't accept help, especially if they are obsessed with some weird non-standard sorts of diet modifications.

The more you push, the more fixated she will be.

I was going to say that but couldn't think of a nice way.

[jess mebane]

Make something wonderful, then promise her a cheese and mayo only after she cleans her plate. Seems to be working with my toddl--I mean, girlfriend, anyway.

[Katherine]

I have been related to or otherwise known several people who found their health going downhill after drastic dietary modifications intended to improve their health. Do people in this situation modify their diet to make it more moderate? No, the response is generally to become more and more strict and restrictive.

[bloviatrix]

I assume she only eats store-bought mayo. Why not start by introducing her to various types of homemade mayonnaise - basil, lemon, garlic, etc and move on from there?

[arlene]

Dump her...this narrowness is surely not limited to her diet

[elyse]

That's exactly as I was going to put it.

[MatthewB]

Find another girlfriend. Fast. Or at the least, someone to "hang out with."

Then dump the current girlfriend. Fast.

I hope you're already out looking this evening.

[bilrus]

For the first time since I have been a member of eGullet I am really pissed off at some of the responses to this thread.

Crinoidgirl is a new member with a serious food related question. Her (?) girlfriend is not a child or an emotional basket case that should be dumped on the street. She is someone who needs help learning better eating habits. Usually I would say that eGullet would be a good place to get good advice about food related issues, since there have been serious discussions about weight loss issues on here before. But that obviously isn't the case here.

Crinoidgirl, I don't have any specific thoughts on this right now, but there has been some discussion and progress (albeit slow) about adding some weight loss content to the eGullet system. This might be helpful in the future.

In the meantime, how about some supprt from people. There's a time and a place for the trademark eGullet sense of humor, but I'm not sure this is it.

[Elizabeth_11]

I may be able to help --but knowing what her specific health problems are first might be helpful....unless you're not comfortable divulging that. Is it weight loss? Lowering cholesterol/blood pressure? What specifically do you have in mind?

Edited August 11, 2003 by Elizabeth_11 (log)

[Stone]

For the first time since I have been a member of eGullet I am really pissed off at some of the responses to this thread.

This is the first time? Obviously, you're not reading enough of my posts.

Crinoidgirl, if that's the worst problem you two have, go out and buy yourself a couple cans of Cheese Whiz and a big jar of Helmans, and get down tonight.

Edited August 11, 2003 by Stone (log)

[elyse]

Bill, she didn't say anything about weight loss. The point is, you can't change the habits of other people, they have to seek advice themselves. It NEVER works when they aren't prepared to do it. It will build resentments and bad feelings of all sorts. They'll end up breaking up anyway. Either girlfriend wants to change her habits, or crinoidgirl has to let her be, eating as much cheese and mayo as she likes. That's all. I, for one, was not joking.

[Jinmyo]

I like cheese. I like good fresh mayo.

[elyse]

Stone, you're evil.

Now that you post's been edited, I have to edit mine too. He put the thing about the cheeze whiz and hellman's in the quote box, making it look as if it came from bilrus.

Edited August 11, 2003 by elyse (log)

[jess mebane]

Crinoidgirl is a new member with a serious food related question.  Her (?) girlfriend is not a child or an emotional basket case that should be dumped on the street.  She is someone who needs help learning better eating habits.  Usually I would say that eGullet would be a good place to get good advice about food related issues, since there have been serious discussions about weight loss issues on here before.  But that obviously isn't the case here.

Crinoidgirl, I don't have any specific thoughts on this right now, but there has been some discussion and progress (albeit slow) about adding some weight loss content to the eGullet system.  This might be helpful in the future.

In the meantime, how about some supprt from people.  There's a time and a place for the trademark eGullet sense of humor, but I'm not sure this is it.

that's a shot penalty, russell.

[Jaymes]

My girlfriend won't eat anything that isn't covered with cheese or mayo.

I'd start by trying to find ingredients that taste pretty good on their own or with just a little salt.

In other words, really fresh stuff right from a farmer's market or fishmonger.

And tell her you're going to fix it like she likes it, but with the cheese, mayo, whatever "on the side."

See if you can't get her to take just a few bites before she smooshes the cheese back over onto it all.

Find whatever few things she already eats without cheese or mayo, and expand upon them.

Offer her little bonuses or treats for at least trying stuff that is not normally on her "acceptable" radar.

Well, after that reprimand, I decided to repeat my own post, which I stand by.

Go to the fishmonger and get some really good fresh fish. Bake it with a little wine or lemon or parsley (not too exotic). Make a mild cheese sauce or tartar sauce or whatever it is that she likes, and put it on the side, and encourage her to try a bite or two before she puts on the sauce.

Go to a farmer's market or somewhere else and get really good fresh non-pesticide-pumped chicken and roast it beautifully, and serve it with whatever sort of cheese or mayo-based sauce she likes, on the side.

Get some great fresh squash and cut it up and simmer it very, very slowly (no water added) with some butter and onion slices in the bottom of a covered saucepan. Just as it's done, add a beaten egg and stir til egg is set. Sprinkle a LITTLE cheese over it and serve it with some good tomatoes on the side.

Encourage her to try just a few bites of your meals BEFORE she adds the sauce. You can do that in a non-judgmental manner. Instead of "why can't you eat anything without pouring that fattening, yucky glop all over it," say, "I got these chickens from a farmer's market. I think they're really good. Why don't you try a bite or two just plain and tell me if you think they're any better than usual?"

Or just as you take it from the oven, cut off an unadorned slice and say, "Yum, here try this," and hand her a forkfull.

Find stuff she likes without cheese or mayo and build on that. For example, if she likes fruit and she likes ice cream, then serve her ice cream with a little fruit on it. Then fruit with a little ice cream on it. Then just fruit.

Keep these efforts lowkey.

Don't badger her or berate her or lecture her or attempt to make her look foolish.

I honestly meant these suggestions to be helpful and I think they'll work.

Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon - and for the rest of your lives.

And good luck.

Edited August 11, 2003 by Jaymes (log)

[maggiethecat]

First: Welcome to eGullet. Great topic.

Second: First rule of eGullet: Listen to Jaymes. Really.

Like elizabeth_11, I feel a little bit more information on the specific problem could be helpful. I am myself a big cheese and mayo fan, but I don't limit my choices to dishes which contain either/both of these wonderful things.

Don't badger. Don't lecture. Try to woo her with delectable alternatives.

And let us know how it goes, please.

[bilrus]

Maybe I overreacted a little, but that's not the first time that has happened on here.

Jaymes, I thought your original post was very thoughtful. I wasn't thrying to reprimand everyone (or really anyone).

Elyse, she did mention health related issues, I assumed that was what we were talking about, but you're right there are certainly other things that could be at issue.

Sorry about that, everyone. I am going to shut up and go watch The Restaurant now.

[MatthewB]

If one is to seriously address the issue that Crinoidgirl raises, I'd lean toward getting the GF to seek medical advice if health issues are the real concern.

But perhaps I'm only seeing the obvious.