Worst Beer Ever Tasted

[pnapoli]

So weak that if you spat in your pint you could legally serve it as a soft drink.

just one example of why i love this thread.

[tommy]

i have to admit, i rather liked the chili pepper beer when i had it. this was, of course, close to a decade ago, and, i never bought it again. but it seemed kind of neat. no?

that same day (yes, i have a good memory), i bought Dixie Black Voodoo, which i didn't like at all. although i still have the box it came in. i have my whip-it dispenser and pipes stored in it. i suppose i should dig that stuff out.

Edited May 28, 2003 by tommy (log)

[pnapoli]

yeah. SEEMED being the operative word. dude, c'mon...

[ctgm]

Think that NT Bitter (brewed in Darwin, Australia) stands out pretty well in my memory. Was years ago when I had it but tasted of salt!

Apart from that some of those fruit beers the French/Belgians like so much make me feel sick but then I don't classify them as beer.

[maryland crab]

Oshkosh B'Gosh. It was the cheapest in Wisconsin in the late '50's but tasted exactly like turpintine smells. Second choice would have to be Bud. I love beer, but will turn down a free bud every time.

[winodj]

I remember buying Schlitz Ice when it was first introduced. 12 pack for 3 bucks!

Tasted like burnt hops and little else.

[Chad]

Hmm, the nastiest beer I've ever consumed was called Drewery's. Purchased regularly when I was in school at UGA in the mid-80s, but I've never seen it anywhere else. Vile, vile taste & sediment on the bottom were offset by the $8/case price (less if you returned the bottles).

Mickey's Big Mouths would be a close second.

Chad

[NeroW]

Mickey's Big Mouths would be a close second.

I loved those in high school. Especially the little messages in the caps. Do they still do that?

The best one I ever saw was: "Close the government. Open the Mickey's."

I almost peed myself when I saw it.

[Knicke]

For a couple years while I was in college, we could get this really vile stuff from the neighborhood liquor store. It was called Fat Cat Beer, and the can was bright orange with a blue cartoon sorta Tom-n-Jerry like cat on it, smoking a cigar. We thought it was hilarious, because it totally looked like a pop can marketed to little kids. The label read..."Water, hops, blah, blah, blah...what can we say, it's just great beer!".

Well, it wasn't. The brew itself was also bright orange (we're talking Orange Crush color, to match the can), tasted like paint thinner , and is the only substance that managed to give me a hangover BEFORE I even got drunk. But the can WAS hilarious, it WAS marginally drinkable (if served ice-cold and chugged, not sipped), and get this...in 2000, a six-pack cost $4. Which works out to about 60 cents a can.

My former white-trash boyfriend and I used to go bullhead fishing all the time, and we'd usually take along a couple sixers of Fat Cat in our styrofoam cooler. After awhile, we broke up, and a few months later, the store stopped selling Fat Cat beer. I can still recall (with an equal mixture of fondness and dread) the signature headache it caused...

[Al_Dente]

Probably Milwaukee's Best. Though they later came out with an even worse Milwaukee's Best Light which I think my college buddies bought in the interest of appealing to the ladies. I remember walking from my dorm with a few guys to the liquor store to buy huge quantities of Milwaukee's Best "suitcases" (24 beers) and carrying them back the mile or so to our dorm. It was a wonder we didn't require donkeys or camels to haul the enormous weight. Some of the guys who could pack it away better than I could would go for the century weekend-- 100 cans of this crap between last class Friday and first class Monday. Quite a feat despite the low alcohol content. I don't even think I could drink that much water!

Then there was the 1/2 pound of dope stuffed into the cushions of my sofa...

[NeroW]

Then there was the 1/2 pound of dope stuffed into the cushions of my sofa...

Yes.

Then there was that.

[hjshorter]

Mickey's Big Mouths would be a close second.

I may have mentioned this earlier in the thread...

A male acquaintance of mine always bought Mickeys because he could use the bottle later to piss in.

Nice, huh?

[Jason Perlow]

Another on my list is Red Stripe.  Does anyone actually like that stuff, or is it just the association high from it being of Jamaican origin?

I was gonna post "red, white and blue" but i see some others beat me to it. The other thing i was going to say is that i love Red Stripe; however, it tends to get skunky really quick, and once it's turned, it tastes horrible. Therefore i only buy it in the swanky part of town where it flies off the shelf pretty regular, instead of at my local convenience store where it's available, but dusty.

Because i don't live in the swanky part of town. But i can drive there.

I was gonna say, Red Stripe is sure nasty.

Also I'm not fond of Maccabi, which is an Israeli beer. But Goldstar is good.

[Jason Perlow]

I'll probably get pestered for this, but I think Corona tastes like piss.  Honestly one of the worst beers I've tasted.

Well, I was going to say any American lager ties for worst beer ever (Bud, Miller, the various lights, Coors etc. all taste the same, which is to say that they have no taste whatsoever). At least the cheap beers (Schlitz, PBR, Best, Old Mil, Schafer etc.) give you the runs the next day, confirming that you actually did drink beer instead of water. A pox on all mass produced lagers.

But then I saw the Corona post, and had to agree. Downright nasty.

Corona is piss, as is Carib, a Corona knock off from Trinidad/Tobago that is popular in the Netherlands Antilles and St. Martin and most of the caribbean

I DO like Presidente, another popular caribbean beer, from the Dominican Republic though. But its gotta be ICE COLD.

[NeroW]

I'm glad I'm not the only person who thinks Red Stripe is shit. For a while, I thought I'd give it a go, because the bottle was so cute. Plus, dude, it's the whole Jamaican thing.

Speaking of cute packaging, I'm drinking one of them Heineken's in a keg-can as I type this.

I don't like Heineken in any form, but I was suckered into drinking this because 1). it's the last beer in the fridge (only-slightly-better Corona gone), and 2). the can is so cute. Just like a little keg!

Alas. It still tastes like piss. I'm a sucker for cute packaging.

EDIT: Jason, I like Presidente as well. It was beer-of-the-week at Quenchers (Western & Fullerton in Chicago) not long ago, and I was happy.

Edited July 12, 2003 by NeroW (log)

[malachi]

Worst Mass Market Beer: Natural Light

Worst Microbeer: Dixie White Moose

Worst Import: Corona Light

Worst "good" Beer: Piraat

[mrbigjas]

OK I've read this whole thread, including the folks from the Philadelphia area who bought colt 45 at the Wawa (we used to buy Olde English 800--used to call it the happy clown, because it "goes down like a happy clown," whatever that meant. A lot of people switched to St. Ides when it was introduced, but not me. And whoever that was who mentioned the last few sips of a warm 40 of malt liquor as the ultimate test of drunken stomach wasn't kidding), and while Red White and Blue have been mentioned, and the generic BEER has been mentioned, and the Schmidts and whatnot have all been mentioned, and the cave creek chili beer, there's one that no one's brought up yet. It was test marketed here in Philadelphia:

Cool Colt

This was beer with menthol, no joke, obviously marketed to the "urban" community, the same way menthol cigarettes are. But I smoked menthol cigarettes at the time and STILL thought it was foul.

[Rich Pawlak]

OK I've read this whole thread, including the folks from the Philadelphia area who bought colt 45 at the Wawa (we used to buy Olde English 800--used to call it the happy clown, because it "goes down like a happy clown," whatever that meant.  A lot of people switched to St. Ides when it was introduced, but not me.  And whoever that was who mentioned the last few sips of a warm 40 of malt liquor as the ultimate test of drunken stomach wasn't kidding), and while Red White and Blue have been mentioned, and the generic BEER has been mentioned, and the Schmidts and whatnot have all been mentioned, and the cave creek chili beer, there's one that no one's brought up yet.  It was test marketed here in Philadelphia:

Cool Colt

This was beer with menthol, no joke, obviously marketed to the "urban" community, the same way menthol cigarettes are.  But I smoked menthol cigarettes at the time and STILL thought it was foul.

How long ago was this? Sounds positively weird.

[mrbigjas]

How long ago was this? Sounds positively weird.

This was, I'm thinking, 1991 or 1992 maybe?

One of the fun--or rather, often disgusting--things about this town is that it's a good size for a test market on the east coast. Hence Cool Colt, and Pepsi Kona, and the McRib.

[hollywood]

Something called Green Rooster. Awful taste. Worst hangover.

[Andrew Fenton]

This was, I'm thinking, 1991 or 1992 maybe?

A web search reveals that Tone Loc (!) was the spokesman. So that date would be just about right.

Here's a photo of Cool Colt:

It sounds like that might be not just the worst beer you ever tasted, but objectively the worst beer in the five thousand year history of the beverage. Somewhere, ancient Sumerians are rolling over in their graves, wishing they'd invented wine instead. Just to prevent the enormity of Cool Colt.

[Z28Racer]

Cool Colt

This was beer with menthol, no joke, obviously marketed to the "urban" community, the same way menthol cigarettes are. But I smoked menthol cigarettes at the time and STILL thought it was foul.

YES!!! Someone else has tried Cool Colt. It was similarly test marketed in central Illinois in 1992 (Illinois class of '93 here). I thought it tasted like cool mint Listerine. I do seem to remember the liquor stores having a promotional poster of Tone-Loc hoisting a 40.

My roommates and I would drink it as a more of a goof than anything else. There was a local supermarket chain called County Market that had 40 oz. malt liquor (all brands!) for 99 cents, and 64s for $1.50. A cheap, if poisonous, drunk was two 64s of Colt .45 followed by a 40 of Cool Colt, liberally seasoned with smoke from Swisher Sweets.

Champaign/Urbana was far from what anyone would call "urban," but there is truth in the old saw about "if it will play in Peoria..." All sorts of weird food items would come and go. To this day, I can't convince anyone there actually was a Hostess "Nutty Ho Ho" snack cake...

[cdh]

While this is sure to raise the hackels of any true believers out there, I must say that the absolute worst beer I've ever tasted was Orval. I've tried (and liked) all of the other Belgian Trappists, but Orval has crossed the line, as far as I'm concerned. It is too bitter, and too funky. Ick. I'll go back to my Goudenband and Rodenbach and leave that stuff to the crazy nuts who enjoy it.

[mrbigjas]

My roommates and I would drink it as a more of a goof than anything else.  There was a local supermarket chain called County Market that had 40 oz. malt liquor (all brands!) for 99 cents, and 64s for $1.50.  A cheap, if poisonous, drunk was two 64s of Colt .45 followed by a 40 of Cool Colt, liberally seasoned with smoke from Swisher Sweets.

Did you ever look back and wonder why we did those things to ourselves? OUCH.

[Gonzo FreakPower]

To me, a lot of the beers listed are more in the "no good" category. All the Buds, Schlitz, Pabsts etc are just tasteless and a waste of time. To me, Tsing Tao (spelling?) is about the most horrible. It's "actively bad," instead of just a waste of time.

cdh:

I'm one who likes Orval and all I can say is that it's made the way it is on purpose. 20 years ago Leffe, for example, was much more bitter/dry than it is now. It's been softened so that it appeal to a broader market. I'll call it the "Americanization" effect. I'm glad that Orval hasn't changed like that.