Food neuroses that drive you nuts

[hummingbirdkiss]

ok someone bugged me badly and since it was so long ago I almost forgot!

I was married for about an hour right out of school to this guy would only eat food that had no seasonings other than morton salt and preground pepper...over cooked dried out meat and mushy vegetables..mashed or baked potatoes were the only option for starch (God forbid I cook a pot of rice!) ....

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Damn!!! What a twerp! And you lasted a whole hour??

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the sex was good

but with out food what is the point? and after an hour I wanted something to eat

Edited February 28, 2008 by hummingbirdkiss (log)

[blurby]

Leftovers. I can not comprehend people who refuse to eat leftovers. Not only do I love leftovers but I think it's incredibly conceited to turn up (or outright waste) good food that hasn't gotten any worse. (I'm of course talking about things that actually last, like stews and curries, and not things like green salad in a plastic tub)

[kbjesq]

Food neuroses that drive me nuts:

1. People who believe that a diet of non-fat foods will make them lose weight. I know someone who refuses to consume anything that is not specifically labeled "non-fat", including mayonnaise, bologna, cheese, sour cream, salad dressing, bread, and even refried beans, under the guise that this is an effective weight-loss regimen. It doesn't seem particularly effective and "non-fat" saltines are really annoying!

2. People who eat the same thing, day after day (and not out of necessity). I had a roommate for 2 years while I was in college, and every night for dinner she ate Uncle Ben's rice and baked chicken thighs. For two years. I'm not kidding.

3. People who put mayonnaise on sliced avocado. Sorry, but that's like putting slime on slime to me. I can't even look at the plate.

4. People who "refresh" leftover rice by putting it in a colander and running it under hot tap water. Wasteful, unnecessary and just plain wrong.

Wow, I feel so much better getting this off my chest. Thanks, Fatguy, for starting this thread!

[jgm]

ok someone bugged me badly and since it was so long ago I almost forgot!

I was married for about an hour right out of school to this guy would only eat food that had no seasonings other than morton salt and preground pepper...over cooked dried out meat and mushy vegetables..mashed or baked potatoes were the only option for starch (God forbid I cook a pot of rice!) ....

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Damn!!! What a twerp! And you lasted a whole hour??

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the sex was good

but with out food what is the point? and after an hour I wanted something to eat

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I've said it before and I'll say it again: if you're dating someone, and you want to know how well a marriage would work between the two of you, food and eating habits are an extremely strong indicator. A person's willingness to try new things, to adapt, and several other traits and skills, all show in eating habits.

However, if you find someone who shares your own approach to food, but has other habits or dispositions you find intolerable or annoying, don't let the food thing fool you. A sign is a sign.

[feedmec00kies]

Attention! Attention!

I've just been informed that my boyfriend will NOT eat ribs! I repeat, he will NOT eat ribs!

...apparently there's something unnerving and nauseating to him about the rib cage...

[JimH]

Attention! Attention!

I've just been informed that my boyfriend will NOT eat ribs! I repeat, he will NOT eat ribs!

...apparently there's something unnerving and nauseating to him about the rib cage... 

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Oh well, more ribs for the rest of us.

[Poffertjes]

My sister will dissect meat to remove every visible speck of fat.  She looks like a surgeon in the OR.

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My brother does this too. He also likes to mush all his food together and only eats ice cream after he stirs it to a near soup like consistency. We are talking about an adult here. Drives me nuts

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I had a roommate who would nuke her ice cream, in the carton, because she didn't like it if it was too hard to scoop...

Needless to say, we never shared ice cream cartons.

[Poffertjes]

I've heard from a ton of people that they avoid red velvet cake because of food coloring (and thus chemicals). I totally agree that food coloring probably isn't the best thing for you, but for > 90% of us I'm sure we consume FAR more chemicals (and food coloring) through non-red-velvet-cake avenues than through the occasional slice.

Almost everything that irks me is this kind of lose of perspective. Another example: people who won't eat rich dough baked goods because of the butter but will spread an opaque layer of butter or cream-cheese on a bagel

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My husband has a co-worker who won't eat red velvet cake because the version they got at work once, from Fox and Obel's was colored with beet juice.

The food coloring is fine, but beet juice is where she draws the line....

[MissAmy]

One of my closest friends claims to be "allergic" to onions. And yet, she consumes them with regularity in restaurants and at home (they're cooked into her food and she doesn't know they are there). She also claims to be allergic to tomatoes, yet just two nights ago ate double helpings of bolognese sauce - appearantly the addition of Italian sausage "balanced out" the tomato factor. -insert eye roll here-

She's one of those people that can not be allowed into the kitchen while others are cooking because if she sees anying she thinks she doesn't like, she will not eat any of the food at all, and will end up bringing take out from somewhere. It's infuriating. She refuses to try anything unusual or outside her norm. One time, a whole large group of us were meeting for dinner at a Thai restaurant. This place is well known in the community, most people who eat there love it, and they have lots of things on the menu to appeal to American unadventurous eaters while also pleasing the more refined palates. And yet, on the car ride there, she would not stop with the pouting. When asked what was wrong, the conversation went like this:

Picky McPickerson: "I know I'm not going to like the food there. I'm hungry and I want something I like!"

Me: "But you've never been there."

Picky: "But I won't like it!"

Me: "Have you ever tried Thai food?"

Picky: "No! Because I know I won't like it!"

Me: "I bet they'll make you something fried with something sweet and corn starchy glopped all over it if you ask."

Picky: "But it's not Jade Palace (local crap HORRIBLE Chinese American joint) and I know I won't like it!"

Me: -irritated silence-

She's a grown woman in her thirties with a career and a car and a stable living environment and yet she eats like a four-year-old. A four-year-old who is indulged and pampered by over-indulgent parents and allowed to eat nothing but macarroni and cheese and grilled cheese sandwiches. It's an extreme neurosis, and it makes me (and just about everyone else who knows her) absolutely butt-crazy insane. Otherwise, she is a perfectly lovely person for whom I would do just about anything but her food ticks really irk. To be fair, I will admit we have had some headway in recent years - she will now eat some vegetables but only mushrooms, canned green beans (ew!), and lettuce. The only acceptable salad dressing is Ranch.

[maggiethecat]

My hair coloriste is a young woman who actually cooks, and we chat about food every six weeks when I put myself in her brilliant hands and say: "You are the Holbein of hair. Do whatever you want."

Jennifer has told me that she's "picky." She's also seven months pregnant. I told her about a watermelon/tomato sorbet a friend made, and she turned paper white and retched into the (handy) sink. All us ladies with foil on our heads gasped.

She returned to me and my head. "I'm so sorry. But I detest any member of the melon family and raw tomatoes mystify me -- so slimy. The thought of eating either of them makes me shudder, even when I'm not pregnant. What kind of sicko would deliberately put them together?"

Um, a good cook I know.

[Lindacakes]

I brought a tiny espresso maker home to my father's house at Christmas so that I could have my fix. The first day, he watched me make it, asked what it was, shuddered, and refused to taste it. Day two: his ancient coffee maker had finally broken the night before, my sister-in-law made coffee in a pan on the stove. No coffee in the morning, Christmas eve, I'm sipping my espresso out of a regular coffee cup.

"It's mean to drink coffee in front of a person."

"You told me you didn't want any. Do you want me to make you some?"

"No."

Then there's a cousin of mine who is over fifty years old, still lives with his still living and still married parents and will not eat anything with seeds in it.

My nephew, as a small child, would not eat bread. Yep, bread.

[coffeeroaster]

there are some I do not care for and avoid them if possible but try to be discrete about it if they are served to me.

God bless you! This, I think, is the worst food faux pas if not neurosis -- having to freeking tell everyone at the table what you don't like and why and blah blah blah. Boring, rude and immature (can you tell this really fires me up?) My husband is a great, creative cook, but both his mom and sister have so many won't-eats, and are so willing to tell you all about them, it's truly embarassing. It's one thing to decide after a few experiences that you're not fond of something. It's another to not even try it (sister-in-law and her husband), or turn down an otherwise delightful dish because you don't like one ingredient. My MIL once exclaimed about the delicious looking, wonderful smelling dessert we were serving, then announced, "Well, I won't like it -- it has raisins." Please.

I prefer meat without bones, but wouldn't miss a meal over it I think it's because it's often hard to get off the bone, and sometimes has not gotten hot enough to get sufficiently cooked near the bone. Especially chicken.

[Poffertjes]

I brought a tiny espresso maker home to my father's house at Christmas so that I could have my fix.  The first day, he watched me make it, asked what it was, shuddered, and refused to taste it.  Day two:  his ancient coffee maker had finally broken the night before, my sister-in-law made coffee in a pan on the stove.  No coffee in the morning, Christmas eve, I'm sipping my espresso out of a regular coffee cup.

"It's mean to drink coffee in front of a person."

"You told me you didn't want any.  Do you want me to make you some?"

"No."

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Wait a second.....

You're telling me that your father will drink regular brewed coffee, but not espresso, and he chastised you for drinking it in front of him when there was no brewed coffee in the house?

Thats just plain rude and picky.

[Ndy]

I was shopping with my mother the other day and, on the way home, she said, "Oh, I forgot to buy eggs."

"No problem," said I. "I bought two dozen. You can have one of them."

She replied, "But I don't like the brown ones."

No amount of evidence was going to convince her that white- and brown-shelled eggs taste exactly the same. I knew not to bother. She'd rather make a whole 'nother trip to the store than eat a brown egg.

I'm sure we've all encountered maddening food neuroses like this. Please do share.

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I still think your example is the best. They're exactly the SAME!!!!

[ruthcooks]

Until it was pointed out to me, I used to always leave something on my plate. I never completely cleaned off my plate. I never noticed it, and no one else did either because I have a small appetite and rarely finish a meal unless I prepare and plate it for myself. But a German friend who stayed with us for a summer pointed out that I NEVER cleaned my plate. Even if I ate almost everything, I would always leave one small piece behind. As soon as she pointed it out, I started paying attention and noticed it was true. Once I noticed I was doing it, I stopped. But I have no idea where that came from.

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It used to be considered ill-mannered to clean one's plate (too piggish?), and proper to leave a bit of food, even if only one bite. This could come in handy if there was something on your plate you didn't like: you could leave a goodly portion of it and it would be taken as good manners.

That custom must have been dropped a long time ago, I'd forgotten all about it.

[OnigiriFB]

Until it was pointed out to me, I used to always leave something on my plate. I never completely cleaned off my plate. I never noticed it, and no one else did either because I have a small appetite and rarely finish a meal unless I prepare and plate it for myself. But a German friend who stayed with us for a summer pointed out that I NEVER cleaned my plate. Even if I ate almost everything, I would always leave one small piece behind. As soon as she pointed it out, I started paying attention and noticed it was true. Once I noticed I was doing it, I stopped. But I have no idea where that came from.

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It used to be considered ill-mannered to clean one's plate (too piggish?), and proper to leave a bit of food, even if only one bite. This could come in handy if there was something on your plate you didn't like: you could leave a goodly portion of it and it would be taken as good manners.

That custom must have been dropped a long time ago, I'd forgotten all about it.

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I think in many Asian cultures you should leave something. It shows the host that they have provided enough food and you are satisfied. Sometimes if you clean your plate they will continue to put food on your plate for you! I've seen some people who come from the "clean your plate" culture get in big trouble because of that sometimes unknown cultural practice. They kept eating and the host kept on feeding! Hahaha!

I think hospitality is very linked to face in Asian cultures and you lose face if someone thinks you are er... the Thai word is kee ngok and for the life of me I cant think of the english equivalent. Maybe stingy? Our family always seemed to have enough food to feed an army. EVERY night. I wonder if thats why we generally had leftovers for breakfast... hrm. I always felt sorry for our cook cause she had to get up at some obscene hour to make food for alms for the monks, our breakfasts, and then go to the market for that nights dinner. Often before 7am.

[Ndy]

Two come to my mind, though only one's a neurosis; the other's an oddity.

I too had a friend (who used to eat my cooking regularly) who would cry if the foods on his plate touched or "co-mingled".  Sadly for him, my idea of a meal is a main course with many complementary sides, served on what I call dinner plates though others call serving platters, and by design, things co-mingle.  One particularly successful night I served a pork roast with 5 sides, and his wife exclaimed "wow - not only does each side go with the roast, they go with each other no matter what combination you take!" 

He wept.

The second one is my partner, who when I met him ate like a picky child.  No fish, no shellfish, no organ meats, nothing you touch with  your hands, etc.  With time, all that changed.  Now his favorite foods, aside from as much foie gras as he can get, are things like duck thighs (i.e. confit) and braised or confit thighs of pigeon, pheasant, etc.  Yet when we go to the Thanksgiving meal, he still takes only white meat turkey.  It boggles the mind.  Of course, it means I don't have to fight him for the legs or share one, but I find it mind boggling.

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Out of curiosity, how old was this person?

[markk]

Two come to my mind, though only one's a neurosis; the other's an oddity.

I too had a friend (who used to eat my cooking regularly) who would cry if the foods on his plate touched or "co-mingled".  Sadly for him, my idea of a meal is a main course with many complementary sides, served on what I call dinner plates though others call serving platters, and by design, things co-mingle.  One particularly successful night I served a pork roast with 5 sides, and his wife exclaimed "wow - not only does each side go with the roast, they go with each other no matter what combination you take!" 

He wept.

The second one is my partner, who when I met him ate like a picky child.  No fish, no shellfish, no organ meats, nothing you touch with  your hands, etc.  With time, all that changed.  Now his favorite foods, aside from as much foie gras as he can get, are things like duck thighs (i.e. confit) and braised or confit thighs of pigeon, pheasant, etc.  Yet when we go to the Thanksgiving meal, he still takes only white meat turkey.  It boggles the mind.  Of course, it means I don't have to fight him for the legs or share one, but I find it mind boggling.

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Out of curiosity, how old was this person?

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The guy who wept was about 21 or 22; he had been eating my cooking (with food touching) for about 4 or 5 years.

[Meanderer]

I assume that people who don't eat chicken wings because chickens don't wash under their arms also don't eat natural casing sausages.

[maggiethecat]

The second thing that was genuinely entertaining, was trying to watch my food neurotic friends sit across from each other and try to function. One of them was the typical "no food touching, one thing at a time" kind, where he seperated everything on his plate, and ate it clockwise, till he finished with his entree.  The other friend was the one that I mentioned upthread that has to eat everything in exact proportions, one bite at a time, equally.  Sometimes, to make it happen, he has to shove two bites of different things in his mouth.  Watching them kinda stare at each other, and look uncomfortable was well worth my pasta ordeal.

   

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I feel like a lucky woman, or a happy moron. Maybe I haven't paid attention to the eating habits of my friends and family, probably because I've had my head in my plate, food touching, eating in no particular order and inhaling everything. (With time out for chat, telling cats they aren't welcome on the table and yacking politics and religion.) If I leave something on my plate it means I'm full.

It must be exhausting, counting bites and worrying about food co-mingling. And, I've been known to mingle pasta in a dish if the shapes are about the same weight and surface area. Makes for a cheery dish.

[canoodle]

My dear friend has an interesting way of eating his food. He starts at the top of the plate from left to right, eating until it reaches the right edge of the plate. Then he moves down a row. Nice straight horizontal line that inches down the plate forkful by forkful. And the plate must be perfectly clean above the line.

It's the most amazing thing I have ever seen. I believe he only does this on plated foods. He's fine with cheese and crackers, pizza, etc. He has no food phobias and eats everything. Well, not everything. He has the most extreme allergy to tree nuts I have ever heard of. Even roasting nuts (breathing in the vapors), touching the bark of a nut tree, various hand creams, touching your hand after you have eaten cashews, etc. can cause such an extreme attack that he has to be taken to the hospital. Needless to say, my house is a nut-free zone.

[pax]

My 6 yo will only eat one item on her plate at a time. I used to give her grief about eating her carbs up first and no veggies or proteins, but she was just picking her favourite thing and then filling up.

Now when I serve the family, I serve her her protein FIRST, then serve everybody else, and then her veg, and after a bit, whatever the carb is. She sits next to me at table so it's easy enough for me to casually serve her without it being an issue. She's never complained about this method, I am not sure she realizes I am doing it.

It doesn't really drive me nuts but I do wonder why she does it and I wonder if by "controlling it" (although this method is certainly an improvement than ragging at her during meals) I am setting her up for a problem.

[Misa]

My husband will not eat ribs or chicken wings because, he says, it's too much work for too little meat.

I used to have an ex who put either ketchup or ranch on anything savory. My mother nearly cried when he put ketchup on the prime rib (which she, for some reason, considers to be the end-all be-all of meats).

Speaking of my mother... with the exception of soup, vegetables in the main dish "don't count". Thusly, if I made a casserole with lots of veggies for dinner, she'd still wander over to the cabinet, pull out a can of green beans, and nuke it so we'd have a veggie with dinner. Also, if corn was being served with dinner, another veggie must be made.

[tino27]

Channel your inner Homer

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I think I may have found a new purpose in my life.

That would make an excellent bumper sticker / t-shirt / Trapper Keeper cover.

[Domestic Goddess]

These are not my food neuroses but my hubby's:

*Insisting his pasta be cooked tender, almost mushy.

*Ditto with carrots, it has to be so soft it practically disentegrates when the fork touches it.

*ABSOLUTELY NO seafood whatsoever (he is not allergic, just refuses to eat them... this after marrying a girl who lived by the sea and comes from a long line of family of fishermen).

*Eats a lot of food cold-straight-from-the-fridge (fried chicken, pork chops, pizza, spaghetti sauce sandwiches, etc.)

*Hates mayo, ketchup and absolutely LOATHES mustard. (I love mustard).

But our marriage has survived inspite of all of this.