What were they thinking when they named it...

[MarketStEl]

For more than two decades, the J.M. Smucker Co. of Orrville, Ohio, has poked gentle fun at its own name, which some might say is either suggestive or borderline obscene, with its ads for its jams and jellies, which always end with the tag line, "With a name like Smucker's it has to be good." (The Not Ready for Prime Time Players satirized the slogan in a Saturday Night Live sketch in the early 1980s.)

But the Smucker name isn't the only one that might be considered unfortunate. Prepping brunch this morning, I grabbed the bag of Vidalia onions I bought a couple of weeks ago at a local supermarket and noticed another such name:

Now I'm sure that Raymond Bland and his descendants think the family name is a perfectly fine one. And in many lines of work, it would be. But who goes out looking for Bland Vidalia onions? I certainly don't.

Now, there are other family names that are appropriate for food -- in fact, many of those names derive from the occupations the people who have them held, including Butcher and Baker. But certainly there are some other foodstuffs with names that might suggest their makers find other lines of work, or perhaps that the marketing department either had a brain fart or fell asleep at the wheel. Some of you must have run across a few; how about sharing them here?

[nduran]

Not exactly a product name, but the currently running Campbell's soup commercial directing young viewers to "slurp it fast, slurp it slow" never fails to make me wonder who approved it for broadcast.

[Domestic Goddess]

How about a refreshing drink that reminds you that you have to go to the loo?

Coolpis(s)

[Holly Moore]

What's a Dinky?

Back when I joined Dunkin' Donuts new products department they were test marketing a Dinky - like a McD fried apple pie, but filled with meat. The only person who liked the name was the guy who came up with it. The product's slogan was, indeed, "What's a Dinky?"

Alas the Dinky never made it out of test market.

Edited June 18, 2007 by Holly Moore (log)

[Holly Moore]

I've always wondered how Friendly's has been able to give its customers free "Happy Endings" for dessert.

[foodie52]

Bone Sucking Barbeque Sauce. Only a frat boy would love this.

[Narcissus]

Maybe I'm reading too much into this, but Muscle Milk?

[insomniac]

Oz has coon cheese. HK had Darkie toothpaste, changed several years ago to Darlie, (surprising as HK is not the epitome of racial or cultural sensitivity) same black and white minstrel face on the pack and the chinese script still says Black Man.............hmmm ... or how about the electrolytic drink Pocari sweat?? or Smack Ramen?....spotted dick?....the Simpson's Lard Lad donuts

ooh, forgot my HK supermarket favs, chicken tights and egg trats (leading to my husb. addressing me as the old trat )

Edited June 18, 2007 by insomniac (log)

[Tess]

Bouvez Pschitt!

[nduran]

How about a refreshing drink that reminds you that you have to go to the loo?

Coolpis(s)

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I know squat about Korean, but it sounds like a knockoff of Calpis.

[prasantrin]

Bone Sucking Barbeque Sauce. Only a frat boy would love this.

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My first thought when I read that was sucking on a BBQ rib bone.

I'm so pure...

[Joe McConnell]

Bone Sucking Barbeque Sauce. Only a frat boy would love this.

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My first thought when I read that was sucking on a BBQ rib bone.

I'm so pure...

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And regardless of the name, it's not bad sauce for a commecial product.

[MomOfLittleFoodies]

How about a Japanese cookie called

Couque D'Asses?

I giggle every time I see them.

[MarketStEl]

Oz has coon cheese.

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Is it made by Kraft?

Way, way back when, what is now called Cracker Barrel Aged Reserve Cheddar cheese (formerly New York Aged Reserve) -- the variety in the black wrapper -- was called Coon Brand Cheddar cheese.

To ward off complaints, there was a raccoon on the package. My dad used to buy it from time to time.

[SheenaGreena]

I've always wondered how Friendly's has been able to give its customers free "Happy Endings" for dessert.

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everytime I see that friendly's commercial and I hear some kid talking about wanting a "happy ending" I just shake my head in dissapointment. Who comes up with this crap?

also pretty much every korean, chinese, or japanese product has some funny name or a funny engrish on it. I grew up with calpis and pocari sweat and it never bothered me ever. Pocari sweat is a pretty accurate name, cause it tastes like salty soda. Sounds gross but tastes great.

[heidih]

BIMBO!!! I see the trucks on the road alot in Los Angeles. The pictures on the truck look like snack cakes. I have bought some for the teenagers. Apparently based in Ft Worth Texas, but distribute alot of baked goods in Western US and have a presence all over US. But please!- when you drive up to a truck that says Bimbo -especially in LA with the blond bimbo culture!

[hummingbirdkiss]

no one mentioned this yet?

[Busboy]

We ended up at Vaselka's in Greenwich Village about 4AM one night after a Grateful Dead show at The Garden ("must have latkes"). We're seated at the counter when my girlfriend starts giggling and tugging at my sleeve. There behind the counter were stacked probably 60 loaves of white bread, each bearing the unlikely slogan "Fink means good bread."

[chezcherie]

i drove past a kebab house this week named "spitz". i get it, but really? who wants to eat fast food at spitz?

[cakewalk]

I always get a chuckle out of the fast food chain called "Chirping Chicken." If I eat chicken, I want it to be well past the chirping stage.

[Peter the eater]

There's a margarine-like product called "Mom's Spread" I bought camping near Lake Placid NY once. Raccoons stole the tub at night and the next day we found it in the woods only partly eaten as if the raccoons couldn't handle any more.

There's a squeezable condiment I got in France called "Crudup".

I used to work (1988) for a guy in Conway, Massachusetts who had a whole collection of wacky food products. He runs (ran?) a bicycle tour company called Student Hostelling Program so people would travel the world on bike all summer and occasionally bring back weird stuff.

Here's a funny site with ontopic stuff.

[nduran]

no one mentioned this yet?

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That reminds me of the "Cock Tapioca" I have sitting in my cupboard. Thai product I believe.

[phaelon56]

I always get a chuckle out of the fast food chain called "Chirping Chicken." If I eat chicken, I want it to be well past the chirping stage. 

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Reminds me of a Peruvian chicken joint that has shops in Brooklyn (or is it in Queens?) and on the Upper East Side. It's called "Pio Pio" for the sound baby chicks make (probably the sound they make right after learning that they'll be your meal in a few short months!).

[KristiB50]

Spotted Dick comes to mind.

You can buy it in a can at Cost Plus.

HERE is a wesite dedicated to unfortunately named foods from around the world.

[sugarsugar]

Clotted Cream.

'Nuff said.