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Worst meal at someone's home - Part 1


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Oh I am sorry!!!! how about I change the name ...

hmmmmm

the worst meal at someones home

Tuna Cassrole al la (name changed to protect any names of any people who can cook because she honestly could not cook!!! how is that? )

1 large can of tuna with the oil

1 can liquid and all of peas

1 can of cream of mushroom soup (not dilluted)

1 package of egg noodles

1 bag of lays bbq potato chips (reserve about three big handfuls for the topping)

toss all of this (including the majority of the chips smashed) into a pan an mix it up really with your hands

drop in a greased 9 by 13 baking pan ..then smash the remaining chips and sprinkle on top add lots of salt and pepper as garnish

bake at 475 for about 20 minutes

all I can say is ...the flavor and texture were quite unusual...

I have to object to this post on behalf of women named Terry (or Terri, or Teri) who CAN cook! :biggrin:

why am I always at the bottom and why is everything so high? 

why must there be so little me and so much sky?

Piglet 

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My worst: undergrad-era BBQ bone-in chicken, prepared by a gregarious, fun-loving roommate of my boyfriend's who didn't have a clue. He never defrosted it, slathered it with Kraft sauce, put it over the coals while the lighter fluid was still burning off, and promptly burned it to a cinder while still icy inside. And he did this repeatedly, never connecting his "loads of leftover chicken" with their sublime, inedible, awfulness. Imagine a burned-on-the-outside, butane-infused chicken-sicle. All the PBR in the world couldn't make it better.

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I forgot another one of my mother-in-laws old stand-bys. She takes her broiler pan, lines it with foil, lays down a salmon filet, and tops it with onion, lemon slices, lemon juice and white wine, then wraps it up into a pouch, and bakes it for god knows how long. Comes out overcooked, and tasting on aluminum foil with vague hints of lemon and salmon. Those are the days I eat a lot of rice.

The other not tasty thing she does is that she uses Mrs. Dash seasoning on pretty much every meat she grills. Mrs. Dash is very bitter when it's burnt. Almost like sucking on a dirty penny.

Cheryl

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Almost like sucking on a dirty penny.

Oh! EW! I got the taste in my mouth just reading this!

Not that I'd know what it tastes like to suck on a clean penny, mind you. :wink:

"I just hate health food"--Julia Child

Jennifer Garner

buttercream pastries

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Almost like sucking on a dirty penny.

Oh! EW! I got the taste in my mouth just reading this!

Not that I'd know what it tastes like to suck on a clean penny, mind you. :wink:

I'll have you know that dirty pennies taste much the same as clean pennies! :biggrin:

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Almost like sucking on a dirty penny.

Oh! EW! I got the taste in my mouth just reading this!

Not that I'd know what it tastes like to suck on a clean penny, mind you. :wink:

I'll have you know that dirty pennies taste much the same as clean pennies! :biggrin:

:laugh::laugh::laugh:

I had no idea there were so many penny-suckers on this board---we'll have to start a club. We can meet at my house. I'll be hostess, and you can all stand and tell of your habit, how it has affected your life, and the steps you're taking to get clean and sober.

I've never tasted a penny; the scent on your hands after wrapping a few hundred is enough to put you off copper for life. But I did eat an ant once. It tasted kinda halfway between a flea and a lightning bug.

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I've never tasted a penny; the scent on your hands after wrapping a few hundred is enough to put you off copper for life.    But I did eat an ant once.  It tasted kinda halfway between a flea and a lightning bug.

I've never eaten a flea or lightning bug, but dirty pennies taste the way they smell.

Cheryl

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Almost like sucking on a dirty penny.

Oh! EW! I got the taste in my mouth just reading this!

Not that I'd know what it tastes like to suck on a clean penny, mind you. :wink:

I'll have you know that dirty pennies taste much the same as clean pennies! :biggrin:

:laugh::laugh::laugh:

I had no idea there were so many penny-suckers on this board---we'll have to start a club. We can meet at my house. I'll be hostess, and you can all stand and tell of your habit, how it has affected your life, and the steps you're taking to get clean and sober.

I've never tasted a penny; the scent on your hands after wrapping a few hundred is enough to put you off copper for life. But I did eat an ant once. It tasted kinda halfway between a flea and a lightning bug.

Miss Rachel, you are a constant source of delightful & funny suprises. As long as you post, I pledge never to leave egullet (and I bet I'm not alone).

Kim

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When I was a wee lass, I not only sucked on a penny once; I swallowed it. The circumstances, as far as I can remember were, I was riding on a rocking horse and found a penny and stuck it in my mouth in order to suck on it and pretend it was candy. I imagined it was the height of grown-up-ness to ride freely on a horse while sucking on candy. I may or may not have been a little touched in the head at the time. As you might imagine, the next few days involved waiting and "checking" (ew ew ew) for the penny to pass.

But back to the worst meals: the only bad one I can think of now is when my mother-in-law took my recipe for chicken pot pie and tried to replicate it. Instead of a nice thick reduced sauce that coated the chicken and vegetables, it had a watery, bland chicken juice. Instead of morels, she used button mushrooms. Instead of chicken thighs, she used skinless chicken breasts. Etc. I was a little sad to see my poor pot pie recipe get the short shrift, but at least I know now that if I were in a pie vs pie deathmatch with her, I wouldn't have a lot to worry about.

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Oh I am sorry!!!! how about I change the name ...

hmmmmm

the worst meal at someones home

Tuna Cassrole al la (name changed to protect any names of any people who can cook because she honestly could not cook!!! how is that? )

THANK YOU!

I have to say, it's not really my fault that I took offense to having MY name associated with canned fish and slimy noodles....it brought back a very painful food memory:

Long, long ago my two sisters and I sat down to dinner. It was one of those the-night-before-payday meals. Anyone who's grown up in an, umm, financially unstable household can tell you what these meals are like. Strange and unfamiliar food combinations arising from Mom going once around the pantry and throwing together what's in there....with some pasta. There are people who believe that EVERYTHING goes with pasta. They are wrong.

Adding to the ambience is a general "bad vibe" permeating the atmosphere. Adults are TENSE, so it is a bad time to criticize the cook.

On these particular plates were canned salmon, mushy canned peas, cream-of-whatever and other ingredients that defied identification. I don't mind canned tuna, but canned salmon looks and smells too much like catfood to me, and the sliminess is definitely a turnoff for me.

One sister immediately made a rude remark, and was banished from the table with a slap. I don't want to give the impression that my mom dealt out slaps regularly...quite the opposite...it meant you were in Big S**T.

Anyway, reluctant to suffer the same fate as Tracey, Tam and I pushed around the slippery mess on our plates, choking down enough to buy our freedom.

It was quite the test of my gag reflex.

Catching my sister's glance from across the table, the horrible truth occurred to us both as we realised we'd been HAD......a slap was a small price to pay for not having to eat THAT meal!

:shock:

If only I'd worn looser pants....

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When I was a wee lass...

I imagined it was the height of grown-up-ness to ride freely on a horse while sucking on candy.  I may or may not have been a little touched in the head at the time.

... but at least I know now that if I were in a pie vs pie deathmatch with her, I wouldn't have a lot to worry about.

Please, I SO needed this laugh! You can have that death match at my house, I haven't had a chicken pot pie, EVER.

More Than Salt

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Join the DarkSide---------------------------> DarkSide Member #006-03-09-06

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When I was a wee lass...

I imagined it was the height of grown-up-ness to ride freely on a horse while sucking on candy.  I may or may not have been a little touched in the head at the time.

... but at least I know now that if I were in a pie vs pie deathmatch with her, I wouldn't have a lot to worry about.

Please, I SO needed this laugh! You can have that death match at my house, I haven't had a chicken pot pie, EVER.

No! Never had one? In the fall, you really must try one. The recipe I used is from the Pie and Pastry Bible, by Rose Levy Beranbaum. It's awesome. In fact, I think it's the first thing I made for my husband when we first started to date. It's labor intensive and steams up the whole house, though, so only make it if someone else is going to be there to try it and call you a genius.

Edited by plk (log)
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I'm so glad this thread has bumped back up---and what SUPER new entries.
I have nothing to add---most all of my bad dining experiences are mentioned WAY upthread.  Unless I forgot to mention my first SIL's meat-cooking habits.  Like DEEP-FRYING slices of steak until they curl up and die.  That was her object---she would say, every time, "Nothing ALIVE is going on my table!"

Guess that's why we had a hard time telling her cookout burgers from the briquets.

:wacko:

She was not yet in her teens when I met her, and the first Sunday dinner at their home was a perfectly LOVELY meal---gorgeous fried chicken, stupendous desserts--but I was taken aback when she and her younger brother took the chicken plate, moved all the chicken around and carefully picked up and ate all the little dropped-off crispin crumbs. They were just kids, but did they HAVE to call them scabs?

My aunt was absolutely notorius for this. I did have one occasion to see her put a slightly different spin on this.

Her 2nd husband Earl( as opposed to her first husband Earl) didn't like them so dry. One day I happened to catch her cooking his dinner. On the counter were two beautiful rib eyes.Lots of beautiful marbling. She got out a really big cast iron skillet and preheated it .Hot. Then just before the steaks went in she added about 1/2 cup of oil .When it was just about to flame up the steaks went in .

After a few minutes on each side,and they had (considering the circumstances) a wonderful crust, she then proceed to add a a measuring cup of water and turned the heat as high as it would go and BOILED them. I could not believe it!

So as not to lose sight of thread topic, I did have a few horrendous meals at her house. One in particular included a nice big pot of turnip greens ( one of my favorite things) that had an unbelievable sweetness and a distinct crunch with each and every bite for the amount of sugar that was in them ( I think an extra cup full went in just before serving) It was almost gag inducing :blink:

And this old porch is like a steaming greasy plate of enchiladas,With lots of cheese and onions and a guacamole salad ...This Old Porch...Lyle Lovett

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ooh, I've had the crunchy-with-sugar-veggies...truly disgusting. I think I've posted about this before elsewhere, but I could be wrong. Anyway, the worst meal I've had at someone's house actually recurs every year. I can't remember which Jewish holiday it is (I think it alternates between passover and chanukah), but we get roped into going to our cousin's house. At best the food is bland and over cooked, at worst the chicken soup is spoiled (it's happened more than once). But, as far as I'm concerned, the piece de resistance is the carrot souffle. My cousin got the recipe from a friend a few years ago and now it makes a regular appearance. The first time I saw it I thought "carrot souffle, sure". I took a portion and dug in. It was crunchy with sugar. Aside from the orange color, there was no indication of anything carrot derived in it--it tasted overwhelmingly of artificial vanilla flavoring. As a crappy dessert it might not be so offensive, but as a side dish for chicken..ugh. Anyway, at least we know to avoid it now, but my husband remains uninitiated. I must figure out a way to trick him into trying it. :wacko:

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I think i've finally un-repressed my contribution to this thread.

unfortunately, it was served by that most dangerous of creatures: the very good friend who loves to eat good food but possesses absolutely no kitchen skills and can somehow not taste their own cooking. and will hopefully never read this post.

let's see: the starter was asparagus with homemade aioli. the asparagus was presented on a serving plate in an interesting cylinder-on-its-side formation, almost as if you'd emptied a can of asparagus onto a serving dish...no, wait: you had! the idea was for us to dip the asparagus spears into the aioli, but you couldn't actually pick up an individual spear, it was like trying to pick up a spear of, say...whipped cream. we resorted to spreading it on bread with a knife. the aioli was an equally challenging preparation: the consistency of buttermilk and the taste of cheap sunflower oil. i avoided this.

next course was a garlic soup, i think it came from a Gilroy cookbook. this was a huge, piping-hot serving of old oil...possibly olive oil, but it was so far past its prime that all you could taste was past-its-prime-ness. this was considerably less edible than the asparagus.

and, that was the worst of it: by the time i snuck my soup bowl into the kitchen to empty it into the sink, we'd had enough beer that i can't really remember too much about the 40 Clove of Garlic Chicken that followed. but the first two courses are burned into my taste memory FOREVER.

Edited by markemorse (log)
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and, that was the worst of it: by the time i snuck my soup bowl into the kitchen to empty it into the sink, we'd had enough beer that i can't really remember too much about the 40 Clove of Garlic Chicken that followed. but the first two courses are burned into my taste memory FOREVER.

At least it wasn't homemade beer...

SuzySushi

"She sells shiso by the seashore."

My eGullet Foodblog: A Tropical Christmas in the Suburbs

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  • 2 weeks later...

What I've read in this thread so far reminds me of partial lyrics from the song Rapper's Delight by The Sugarhill Gang:

Have you ever went over a friends house to eat

And the food just ain't no good?

The macaroni's soggy, the peas are mushed,

And the chicken tastes like wood

So you try to play it off like you think you can

By saying that you're full

And then your friend says, "Mama, he's just being polite

He ain't finished, uh-uh, that's bull!"

So your heart starts pumpin' and you think of a lie

And you say that you already ate

And your friend says "Man, there's plenty of food"

So he piles some more on your plate

While the stinky food's steamin', your mind starts to dreamin'

Of the moment that it's time to leave

And then you look at your plate and your chicken's slowly rottin'

Into something that looks like cheese

Oh so you say "That's it, I gotta leave this place

I don't care what these people think,

I'm just sittin' here makin' myself nauseous

With this ugly food that stinks"

So you bust out the door while it's still closed

Still sick from the food you ate

And then you run to the store for quick relief

From a bottle of Kaopectate

I don't know if Kaopectate is still marketed, but it was a green chalky version of Pepto Bismol.

My own worst meal cooked at someone's home was also from childhood, as was posted by some other members:

My mother produced "Salmon Pie", tins of salmon blended (yes, in a blender) with eggs, flour and gods know what else. It was baked in a pie crust (the edges of her amazing pie crust were the only edible part of the meal) with a resulting consistency equivalent to that of undercooked pumpkin pie. The soggy uncooked egg/flour/fish in the center was spooned onto our plates after each slice came apart in pieces. This was served with asparagus cooked until the stringy bits of the overmature stalks were the only solid portions remaining (this was before she learned the value of using a steamer basket). The asparagus was served with margarine. Next was "potatoes au gratin" consisting of crunchy undercooked potato slices covered with burnt cheddar cheese, all swimming in a tasteless skim milk soup...with no spices at all.

The spam color of the pie filling didn't help.

My mother's policy with her children was to insist that we eat a whole portion of any dish the first time it was served, to prevent us from deciding we didn't like something before giving it a fair try. I thought one sample of the unfresh salmon odor was a fair enough try for me to turn around and visit a friend's house for dinner that night. My mother disagreed.

My older sister was a straight-A student all through high school. I realize now that her evening study sessions at friend's houses often coincided with my mother's plans to serve certain dishes, such as Salmon Pie and notable others. Thank the gods my mother was so good with Mexican food, pot roast and other items, or I might have become a straight-A student also. :wink:

Edited for clarity, grammar, spelling and a touch of humor..

Edited by myriadin (log)
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All this talk of bad food dredged up a memory from my childhood.

One weekend I stayed over at a friend's house. The dad was a heart doctor, so I guess the family ate no fat. All I remember is that served me something they called bacon. It had the right shape, but it was pink and soft. At the time, I just knew that is wasn't real food.

Todd A. Price aka "TAPrice"

Homepage and writings; A Frolic of My Own (personal blog)

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My parents used to make "Chop Suey". It came from a box I think and had what I called "chunks". That word in my childhood meant pretty much any piece of cooked celery or peppers. My dad was strict and we had to finish our meals. I would swallow each chunk like a pill, washing it down with milk. But it would take me so long that my milk would get warm and the whole thing was an extremely traumatic experience.

Then there was my mom's theory that anything could be cooked early and put on low "just to stay warm". That didn't work so well for meat....

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I am going to a raw vegan potluck this weekend. I can't wait to report back something memorable to this thread.

-Sounds awfully rich!

-It is! That's why I serve it with ice cream to cut the sweetness!

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I am going to a raw vegan potluck this weekend. I can't wait to report back something memorable to this thread.

At least it'll be raw...how bad can people screw up something raw?

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I am going to a raw vegan potluck this weekend. I can't wait to report back something memorable to this thread.

At least it'll be raw...how bad can people screw up something raw?

Oh, I don't know. I've been researching recipes online, and some of them are... very... I'll be polite and say interesting.

-Sounds awfully rich!

-It is! That's why I serve it with ice cream to cut the sweetness!

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I am going to a raw vegan potluck this weekend. I can't wait to report back something memorable to this thread.

At least it'll be raw...how bad can people screw up something raw?

Oh, I don't know. I've been researching recipes online, and some of them are... very... I'll be polite and say interesting.

I don't find the problem to be 'screwing up something raw' but rather making something raw and pretending it's something totally different. Don't give me chickpea-cashew puree and call it cheese (tastes just like cave aged gruyere! :rolleyes: ). Make something honestly raw and it can be quite good.

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I am going to a raw vegan potluck this weekend. I can't wait to report back something memorable to this thread.

At least it'll be raw...how bad can people screw up something raw?

Oh, I don't know. I've been researching recipes online, and some of them are... very... I'll be polite and say interesting.

I don't find the problem to be 'screwing up something raw' but rather making something raw and pretending it's something totally different. Don't give me chickpea-cashew puree and call it cheese (tastes just like cave aged gruyere! :rolleyes: ). Make something honestly raw and it can be quite good.

Ooh...I hadn't even thought of that little aspect :unsure:

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