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I will never again . . . (Part 1)

Fat Guy

By Fat Guy
in Food Traditions & Culture

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elyse

elyse

Posted
Posted
Forget to put the cap on the blender tightly and lean on it with a towel when pureeing hot soup, or should I say, napalm.

ditto :biggrin:

Aren't you supposed to leave the top knob off the lid when blending something hot? So it DOESN'T explode?

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lronick

lronick

Posted
Posted

Watched by sister-in-law measure "2 ounces of shredded cheese" using a measuring cup...

She never learned the difference between weight and volume...

If you cook with s__t, you wind up with s__t...Gerard Pangaud

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Bashful3

Bashful3

Posted
Posted

I did not do this. Last night a friend was making a lot of soup for a pot luck dinner. She lifted the heavy pot full of soup into a sinkfull of water.

Disaster. Sink should have been half full. Water went all over the floor; through cracks to the neighbor's ceiling and walls. Two insurance companies will have to sort that one out.

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Stone

Stone

Posted
Posted

I'm not sure this belongs here, but the same guy that used a fork to stir his eggs in my new non-stick calphalon, called to ask me how I like my wok -- since he scrubbed it clean for me. About 15 years of carbon, literally down the drain.

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Stone

Stone

Posted
Posted
Forget to put the cap on the blender tightly and lean on it with a towel when pureeing hot soup, or should I say, napalm.

ditto :biggrin:

Aren't you supposed to leave the top knob off the lid when blending something hot? So it DOESN'T explode?

Yes, the little knobby in the middle. I put a towel over it to keep the stuff from flying out the little hole. But I don't expect to need much pressure, and it often flies out the sides.

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elyse

elyse

Posted
Posted
Forget to put the cap on the blender tightly and lean on it with a towel when pureeing hot soup, or should I say, napalm.

ditto :biggrin:

Aren't you supposed to leave the top knob off the lid when blending something hot? So it DOESN'T explode?

Yes, the little knobby in the middle. I put a towel over it to keep the stuff from flying out the little hole. But I don't expect to need much pressure, and it often flies out the sides.

I was watching some lame tvfn show when it first came out (haven't seen a rerun), and... can't remember the name of the show. It was a cross between "Calling All Cooks" and "Extreme Cuisine," but anyway, some guy was showing how he makes soup at some lodge (sorry my memory is so spotty), and he filled the blender with hot soup, covered it tightly, and let it rip. It was soooo painful to watch.

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muon

muon

Posted
Posted

Home for the holidays, helping mum in the kitchen. We were making butternut squash -- cut in half, cut side down in about an inch of water (started out that way, anyway), in a glass dish in the oven. Popped open the oven for a peek, noticed that the water had evaporated -- no prob, time for a refill. Filled a measuring cup with **cold** water from the tap, pulled the rack out, poured about 1/2 in the dish ... and KA-BOOOM -- hot glass grenade. The kitchen gods were looking out for me that night -- hot glass shrapnel all over the kitchen, and luckily none of it embedded in my face, which was about 12 inches away.

Never, never, never pour cold water in a glass dish just from the oven.

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Suzanne F

Suzanne F

Posted
Posted

Which reminds me -- I've got an electric warming tray on the pass-through between my kitchen and dining table. I use it to keep the teapot hot, extra servings of dinner warm, and so on. And to warm the dinner plates. Let me tell you, if you warm your plates for more than 15 minutes or so on the hot spot set on high, you will eventually need a whole new set of dishes. They tend to "ping" and split in half, crossways.

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tan319

tan319

Posted
Posted

I have two.

One i STILL do ( although not for awhile now) , The other an observation as an apprentice.

I'm a pastry guy and the most STUPID thing I've done and repeated more then once is when I get a caramel burn ( it's like napalm, I'm sure) I'll stick my finger in my mouth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dumb enough for you?

Ok, the apprentice story.

About 3 months into an insane apprenticeship in a very popular French place, right outside of Wash,. DC.

Friday night, crazy busy (easy 250 covers, 2 seatings)

Souffle station, 3rd night of doing it w/o any supervision, 1st BUSY night.

As you know, souffles are ordered at the beginning of the meal, when orders are put in. This was 11 years ago (GAWD) before I ever saw a MICROS. All written.

!st seating did 80 souffles!!!!!!!

Running low on egg whites. We didn't anticipate selling so many.

Kept asking sous chef if we had more whites, seeing that the 2nd seating wouldn't probably be much slower.

He tells me not to sweat it, "we'll" be ok.

2nd seating comes, before I know it, about another 75 on my board.

Still asking for more white's, he finally comes with cartons of frozen ones!

I starting breaking eggs for the whites.

Keep in mind, I'm just out of cooking school, a basic course, 9 months, this is my very 1st gig.

I'm sinking, getting weeded, the exec chef steps in, saying "get out of the way, you stoopid sheet", laughing at me.

He makes mix for about 10 Grand Marnier souffles, reaching into one of the bins underneath the pastry/souffle table, there was white stuff in it.

The one thing I always did, even then, was taste ANYTHING that was in a bin.

He didn't.

Next thing I know, THE CHEF, the main man, comes to me with a platter of

Grand Marnier souffles, asking me to taste.

I do.

Saltiest Grand Marnier souffles I've ever tasted.

I had to take all the blame, for the whites AND the salt, knowing if I ratted the

sous and the exec, life would be miserable for me.

One of my fondest memorys, for some perverse reason :-)

2317/5000

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fifi

fifi

Posted
Posted

Now that I have recovered a bit from reading this...

I had a couple of cooking buddies over for some sort of Cajun feast. Said feast included some boudin (the dirty rice type) that only needed to be cooked in a skillet started with a little water. The intent is to then take the lid off and allow said boudin brown a bit before serving. Well... When the lid came off I screamed. The sausage casings had opened up some perfectly round holes. Innards were oozing out of these holes. Cooking friend #1 says... "Looks like a dog taking a crap." It was quite graphic. The laughing session became a total incapacitation event. I don't trust boudin to this day.

Glad it was the cooking buddies and not a REAL party.

Linda LaRose aka "fifi"

"Having spent most of my life searching for truth in the excitement of science, I am now in search of the perfectly seared foie gras without any sweet glop." Linda LaRose

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maggiethecat

maggiethecat

Posted
Posted
I have two.

One i STILL do ( although not for awhile now) , The other an observation as an apprentice.

I'm a pastry guy and the most STUPID thing I've done and repeated more then once is when I get a caramel burn ( it's like napalm, I'm sure) I'll stick my finger in my mouth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dumb enough for you?

Ok, the apprentice story.

About 3 months into an insane apprenticeship in a very popular French place, right outside of Wash,. DC.

Friday night, crazy busy (easy 250 covers, 2 seatings)

Souffle station, 3rd night of doing it w/o any supervision, 1st BUSY night.

As you know, souffles are ordered at the beginning of the meal, when orders are put in. This was 11 years ago (GAWD) before I ever saw a MICROS. All written.

!st seating did 80 souffles!!!!!!!

Running low on egg whites. We didn't anticipate selling so many.

Kept asking sous chef if we had more whites, seeing that the 2nd seating wouldn't probably be much slower.

He tells me not to sweat it, "we'll" be ok.

2nd seating comes, before I know it, about another 75 on my board.

Still asking for more white's, he finally comes with cartons of frozen ones!

I starting breaking eggs for the whites.

Keep in mind, I'm just out of cooking school, a basic course, 9 months,  this is my very 1st gig.

I'm sinking, getting weeded, the exec chef steps in, saying "get out of the way, you stoopid sheet", laughing at me.

He makes mix for about 10 Grand Marnier souffles, reaching into one of the bins underneath the pastry/souffle table, there was white stuff in it.

The one thing I always did, even then, was taste ANYTHING that was in a bin.

He didn't.

Next thing I know, THE CHEF, the main man, comes to me with a platter of

Grand Marnier souffles, asking me to taste.

I do.

Saltiest Grand Marnier souffles I've ever tasted.

I had to take all the blame, for the whites AND the salt, knowing if I ratted the

sous and the exec, life would be miserable for me.

One of my fondest memorys, for some perverse reason :-)

Tan:

Beautiful post. Funny, real, and it makes me thank god I don't have a sous-chef at home.

Welcome. Keep them coming.

Margaret McArthur

"Take it easy, but take it."

Studs Terkel

1912-2008

A sensational tennis blog from freakyfrites

margaretmcarthur.com

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hjshorter

hjshorter

Posted
Posted

I'm a pastry guy and the most STUPID thing I've done and repeated more then once is when I get a caramel burn ( it's like napalm, I'm sure) I'll stick my finger in my mouth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dumb enough for you?

Ouch!!!

I stupidly touched the tip of my little finger to caramel once. :shock: I can still see the perfectly round blister it raised. Several hours in a glass of ice water did nothing for it.

Heather Johnson

In Good Thyme

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jeniac42

jeniac42

Posted
Posted

I've done that hot-pan-handle trick, too. A friend of mine wrote about his experience doing that here - http://www.izzlepfaff.com/blog/archives/00...0047.php#000047 (hopefully that's the right way to do a link).

At work I once tried to get some boiling hot boullion to use for a base for some fondue (hey, they ordered it that way). So I'm pouring it into the cup and I dump it, instead, all over my hand. Well, that kind of hurt, but I still need some more in the cup, and I'm totally weeded so I just keep pouring. All over my hand. Doesn't really hurt too much, though, so I run out to the table to make the cheese. As soon as I stick my hand in the cloud of steam over the pot, well, holy heck, Batman, that hurts!

Also once saw another server carrying back a pot of boiling oil without a lid by putting it on her tray, carried above the shoulder. Stupid.

One night someone threw iced tea in the oil pot (honestly, the things don't look that similar) and a few people took it out to tables.

I'm sure I've done something stupider, I just can't think of anything right now....

Jennie

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tan319

tan319

Posted
Posted
At work I once tried to get some boiling hot boullion to use for a base for some fondue (hey, they ordered it that way).  So I'm pouring it into the cup and I dump it, instead, all over my hand.  Well, that kind of hurt, but I still need some more in the cup, and I'm totally weeded so I just keep pouring.  All over my hand.  Doesn't really hurt too much, though, so I run out to the table to make the cheese. As soon as I stick my hand in the cloud of steam over the pot, well, holy heck, Batman, that hurts!

Jeez, LMAO!!!!!!!!

Nice one!

2317/5000

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maggiethecat

maggiethecat

Posted
Posted
Set up my bodum santos vacuum coffee maker, pour the grounds in the top and realize that I hadn't put the filter in.

Don't count on it. This particular embarrassment lurks for months, then plays "gotcha!"

Margaret McArthur

"Take it easy, but take it."

Studs Terkel

1912-2008

A sensational tennis blog from freakyfrites

margaretmcarthur.com

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Anna N

Anna N

Posted
Posted
Hit the "grind" button on my burr grinder without having the cup in place to catch the coffee as it flies out.

Been there - done that - more than once!

Anna Nielsen aka "Anna N"

...I just let people know about something I made for supper that they might enjoy, too. That's all it is. (Nigel Slater)

"Cooking is about doing the best with what you have . . . and succeeding." John Thorne

Our 2012 (Kerry Beal and me) Blog

My 2004 eG Blog

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fresh_a

fresh_a

Posted
Posted

I will never again cut a cucumber naked

Anti-alcoholics are unfortunates in the grip of water, that terrible poison, so corrosive that out of all substances it has been chosen for washing and scouring, and a drop of water added to a clear liquid like Absinthe, muddles it." ALFRED JARRY

blog

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