When people change your recipe. . .

[Megan Blocker]

My MIL went to boil a kettle of water and I wondered if she was going to make some tea.  No, she was going to pour the boiling water over the sliced berries to soften them up for dessert.

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Eeeeeew....

[saskanuck]

That's not the worst thing my MIL has done or has tried to do to food. Her cooking is an abomination before God, I tell you. You know, if she was a nice person, I could forgive her for her cooking, but she's a horrible woman. It's sad, really.

[jgm]

That's not the worst thing my MIL has done or has tried to do to food.  Her cooking is an abomination before God, I tell you.  You know, if she was a nice person, I could forgive her for her cooking, but she's a horrible woman.  It's sad, really.

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At least this way, you don't feel guilty saying bad things about her cooking behind her back! How thoughtful of her, to make it easy for you!

[MissAmy]

I have no idea why someone would take the class when they think they know more than me, but it happens all the time. And they don't know more.  Heh.

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ummmm...culinary school anyone?! i just loved how many classmates (and current students, and recent grads, etc.) thought they knew more than the chef instructors...isn't there a reason why you're paying $15K+ to the school?!

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Yeah. I won't tell you how much my school cost, but it was a hell of a lot more than $15k, and we still had the same issues. There was a guy who started out in my class, and ended up being suspended because he was constantly arguing with the chef instructors over various idiotically nit picky things. He made a HUGE point of informing us all that he worked at The Slanted Door in San Francisco, to the point that we doubted the veracity of this claim. In Protein class, every other time chef said anything he would pipe up, "Well, Chef, at the Slanted Door we did it differently." or even worse, "That's not the way I was taught. I think you're wrong." Then on smoke breaks, my fellow students and I would be regaled with tall tales of what a bad ass he was, how he should be teaching the class, etc etc.

Chef (bless his little heart) finally lost it one day, kicked him out of class, and had his butt suspended. I don't think that guy ever came back, but I'm sure when asked about why he never finished culinary school, he makes up some sort of nonsense about knowing more than the chef instructors did, so what was the point of finishing.

[ghostrider]

There was a guy who started out in my class, and ended up being suspended because he was constantly arguing with the chef instructors over various idiotically nit picky things. He made a HUGE point of informing us all that he worked at The Slanted Door in San Francisco, to the point that we doubted the veracity of this claim. In Protein class....

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Protein class? Is that really what they call it?

[Kim Shook]

I have no idea why someone would take the class when they think they know more than me, but it happens all the time. And they don't know more.  Heh.

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ummmm...culinary school anyone?! i just loved how many classmates (and current students, and recent grads, etc.) thought they knew more than the chef instructors...isn't there a reason why you're paying $15K+ to the school?!

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Yeah. I won't tell you how much my school cost, but it was a hell of a lot more than $15k, and we still had the same issues. There was a guy who started out in my class, and ended up being suspended because he was constantly arguing with the chef instructors over various idiotically nit picky things. He made a HUGE point of informing us all that he worked at The Slanted Door in San Francisco, to the point that we doubted the veracity of this claim. In Protein class, every other time chef said anything he would pipe up, "Well, Chef, at the Slanted Door we did it differently." or even worse, "That's not the way I was taught. I think you're wrong." Then on smoke breaks, my fellow students and I would be regaled with tall tales of what a bad ass he was, how he should be teaching the class, etc etc.

Chef (bless his little heart) finally lost it one day, kicked him out of class, and had his butt suspended. I don't think that guy ever came back, but I'm sure when asked about why he never finished culinary school, he makes up some sort of nonsense about knowing more than the chef instructors did, so what was the point of finishing.

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Um...was this guys name Steven??

[FabulousFoodBabe]

Chef (bless his little heart) finally lost it one day, kicked him out of class, and had his butt suspended. I don't think that guy ever came back, but I'm sure when asked about why he never finished culinary school, he makes up some sort of nonsense about knowing more than the chef instructors did, so what was the point of finishing. 

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We really should start a thread called, "tales from Culinary school."

[FabulousFoodBabe]

I have no idea why someone would take the class when they think they know more than me, but it happens all the time. And they don't know more.  Heh.

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just goes to prove the most dangerous knowledge is the lack of knowledge that the person does not know they do not possess. I agree with you, I have run into many of these along the way. Sometimes, depending on the attitude of that person, it can be fun showing them up. Meanspirited I know, but fun.

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Yeah. Yeah, it is fun. I'm smiling as I remember ...

And, as with the recipes that people "adjust," they are usually found out pretty quickly.

Foolproof recipes were forgotten and will be brought in next week.

[Pam R]

I once attended a speech/cookbook signing/dinner/press hit for a noted New York chef who, maybe a dozen times before dinner, said "I just want you to know that the great food were having tonight came from my cookbook, but it was Chef X and his incredibly talented team that did the cooking tonight.  He said it so often it started to become oddly irritating. 

Only when the dinner was served did we understand the true meaning of the many complements: "I am in no way responsible for the shit you're eating tonight."

Apparently pros can screw up a good recipe as quickly and profoundly as the various aunts, nieghbors and co-workers populating this thread.

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This happened to me . I was in Vancouver for their Jewish Book Fair right after my book came out. They had me come in for a cooking demo followed by lunch. The actual lunch was prepared by the person who ran the food service where I was doing my demo. As I was running back and forth to the kitchen to grab what I needed when I was setting up, I observed them making my recipes - and believe me they weren't following the recipes to the letter (which I could tell right away when I tasted them).

I know that I mentioned more than once during my demo that I did not make the food. The people attending the lunch paid good money to come and sample some of my recipes- but what they ended up with wasn't how it would have been if I had made it.

[russ parsons]

i think everyone who has ever taught cooking classes from their own recipes has had this experience. at first, it's annoying when someone hands you a dish that's supposed to be yours and you don't recognize it. on the other hand, though, the reason for writing recipes is so other people can replicate what we're cooking. maybe the problem is ours, not their's--we're not writing clearly enough or with enough explanation.

[Pam R]

Russ - I completely agree that part of the problem can be in the recipe writing, not in the recipe following. But when the person replicating the recipe decides not to measure anything ... you can't expect it to taste as it should.

[MissAmy]

There was a guy who started out in my class, and ended up being suspended because he was constantly arguing with the chef instructors over various idiotically nit picky things. He made a HUGE point of informing us all that he worked at The Slanted Door in San Francisco, to the point that we doubted the veracity of this claim. In Protein class....

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Protein class? Is that really what they call it?

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Well, no. It was called CA102, and was the class where they started teaching how to cook all meats. I call it "protein class" for brevity.

[MissAmy]

Chef (bless his little heart) finally lost it one day, kicked him out of class, and had his butt suspended. I don't think that guy ever came back, but I'm sure when asked about why he never finished culinary school, he makes up some sort of nonsense about knowing more than the chef instructors did, so what was the point of finishing. 

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We really should start a thread called, "tales from Culinary school."

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I agree!

[jennahan]

What irks me more is when I watch a cookery show with accompanying book (or recipes available on the web), and the recipe is different from what the chef did on the program. Don't the chefs proofread the recipes prior to publication?

[SuzySushi]

Okay, don't all jump on me at once: I admit that I change recipes.

(Don't ALL of us here on eGullet tinker with recipes???)

I very rarely follow a recipe to the letter unless it's baked goods where the proportions of ingredients and the exact order of mixing them are critical.

I feel free to browse through my cookbooks, magazines, and online sources and combine two or more recipes for the same item.

I leave out ingredients that are not to my liking (but never ones that are critical to the integrity of the dish), substitute ones that are lower in fat or sodium. I've even been known to substitute Splenda for sugar, so that my husband and daughter, who both have diabetes, can enjoy the same foods I do.

But I would never, ever, ever, have the gall to go back to the recipe's originator and complain that it didn't come out right because of MY changes!

[jsolomon]

hmm... I'm catering my wedding reception, and I'm foisting off on 120 of my closest friends and family a recipe that I have never tested before.

Oh.

My.

God.

And, I'm changing the recipe somewhat from how it was written.

We'll all live. Granted, I'm not changing things for lower fat/sodium/healthier fat/higher fiber. I'm changing chicken thighs into smoked turkey and trying to decide if I want to use ham or sausage.

I guess when it comes down to it, I'm just a sinner. Can unrepentants be married in the church? I guess I'll find out

[russ parsons]

don't get me wrong: there's no sin in changing one of my recipes. i think all cooks do that and we who write recipes expect it. the problem is changing the recipe and then blaming us when it doesn't work. that was one of the reasons i wrote "french fry": i got a call from a reader complaining that a chicken in red wine didn't work, then it turned out she'd substituted beef because her husband didn't like chicken (or some such thing). it occurred to me that there was a lot of improvisation being done out there by people who mgiht have good taste, but no earthly idea of how food worked.

[scubadoo97]

Okay, don't all jump on me at once: I admit that I change recipes.

(Don't ALL of us here on eGullet tinker with recipes???)

I very rarely follow a recipe to the letter unless it's baked goods where the proportions of ingredients and the exact order of mixing them are critical.

I sure do. I never follow a recipe to the letter unless it's baking. The difference is as a card carrying foodie I am thinking of how to improve it or make it different and in my mind I can imagine how it will look and taste before even making it. Kind of like playing music by ear. Improvisation is great.

I rarely give out recipes because I do most of it off the cuff and I don't know the exact proportions only the basic ingredients. Some of this and that....

Maybe a disclaimer might be in order.

Please be advised, failure to follow this recipe exactly may result in failure. I am to be held harmless should this recipe fail or cause bodily harm (can't be too careful).

[FabulousFoodBabe]

hmm... I'm catering my wedding reception, and I'm foisting off on 120 of my closest friends and family a recipe that I have never tested before.

Oh.

My.

God.

And, I'm changing the recipe somewhat from how it was written. 

We'll all live.  Granted, I'm not changing things for lower fat/sodium/healthier fat/higher fiber.  I'm changing chicken thighs into smoked turkey and trying to decide if I want to use ham or sausage.

I guess when it comes down to it, I'm just a sinner.  Can unrepentants be married in the church?  I guess I'll find out

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No! Not if you turn around and slam the source of the recipes, and blame them because you made chicken cordon bleu with low-fat fish substitute, and it tasted .... fishy, uncordoned and, well, not all that bleu -- then you can't be married in the church.

Change my recipe if you want. But if you substitute meat balls for eggs in the wedding cake, don't come whining to me that I didn't put "pass grated romano separately" in my recipe!

[russ parsons]

and please, PLEASE, if you change a recipe, don't tell people it's mine! all praise or otherwise should go to you.

[Katie Nell]

Yeah. I won't tell you how much my school cost, but it was a hell of a lot more than $15k, and we still had the same issues. There was a guy who started out in my class, and ended up being suspended because he was constantly arguing with the chef instructors over various idiotically nit picky things. He made a HUGE point of informing us all that he worked at The Slanted Door in San Francisco, to the point that we doubted the veracity of this claim. In Protein class, every other time chef said anything he would pipe up, "Well, Chef, at the Slanted Door we did it differently." or even worse, "That's not the way I was taught. I think you're wrong." Then on smoke breaks, my fellow students and I would be regaled with tall tales of what a bad ass he was, how he should be teaching the class, etc etc.

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There's one in every class... it doesn't matter whether it's a cooking class or not!

Along the trifle line... My best friend doesn't ever follow the recipes I give her... She had gotten a dip recipe once from me that has several layers to it, and she had been making it for a couple of years when I finally was at a function where she served it. She said she had made my dip and I kept looking for it, and looking for it, and come to find out that she had never read the directions... she had just mixed all the ingredients together! It tasted fine, but was definitely not recognizeable to me!

Also, my grandma is a wonderful cook but very far from gourmet, so whenever she asks me for a recipe I've made, I sort of "dumb it down!" I had a recipe for lemon cookies that called for lemon zest, and I was sure she wouldn't know what lemon zest was, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt... sure enough, the next time I saw her, she told me she made the cookies but didn't know what lemon zest was and had bought a jar of McCormick's dried lemon peel and the end product was really too tart! At least she was somewhat on the right track! I didn't even know dried lemon peel was a product... nasty stuff!!

[jsolomon]

Change my recipe if you want.  But if you substitute meat balls for eggs in the wedding cake, don't come whining to me that I didn't put "pass grated romano separately" in my recipe!

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I'm only going to blame fellow eGullet member <guilty name unpublished> for planting the seed of the dish in my mind, and providing me a framework recipe of adequate size.

Everything else is my own damned fault... including smoking the turkeys, which turned out fairly well last weekend.

Edited May 2, 2006 by jsolomon (log)

[Goatjunky]

My Mother asked for my Salt Roasted Beef recipe, for a holiday dinner. Basically it is an eye of the round roast baked inside a salt crust that you then tap off after. She is notorious for changing recipes, and when she went to get an eye of the round she couldnt find one and substituted some sort of flat roast with lots of fat and pockets. She followed the rest of the recipe, but of course you couldnt tap off the crust when it was done. It was completely inedible but she tried to serve it to the extended family anyway, and apologized.. saying it was my recipe.

[Jaymes]

While there have been some incredible stories on this thread about substitutions, none equal this mother of all substitutions:

Honey Apple Cake

Scroll until you find the one from "A Cook from Pttsbrg, PA on 06/14/04".

     

Full disclosure:  this link was originally posted on a thread a couple of years ago.

Oh boy, you're right. That's hilarious. Laughed so hard, got tears in my eyes.

Here's a line or two, regarding substitutions she made for the Honey Apple Cake:

"It was GREAT! I did make a few changes, though. Instead of 3 1/2 cups of flour, I used 1 can of drained chunk white tuna. Instead of baking soda, I used 1 tbl sweet relish, and I replaced the baking powder and cinnamon with 1 tbl mayonaise and a touch of dijon mustard."

Something tells me that lady has been burned by other people making substitutions on her recipes once too often.

[Jaymes]

We've actually touched upon this subject before. There are a great many other amusing stories regarding the pluses and minuses and perils of giving out recipes HERE.