Dinner II: The Gallery of Regrettable Foods (Part 1)

[lesfen]

Charcoal grilled, but the salmon acted just weird. The icky, white "You've overcooked the salmon, ya dunce"-goo started oozing out really early -- I figured I got the grill a lot hotter than normal, since it seemed to be done so early. But when I cut it up, it was completely underdone. So had to do that walk of shame back out to the grill with a half-cooked fillet... I finally managed to cook it properly, but it looks completely overdone -- both because of the excessive flaking and the nasty goo. Extra bonus: no grill-marks whatsoever. The rosemary and dill also just about dissapeared.

The taters didn't get that nice roasted look. The only thing that looked okay were the asparagus -- so of course, I covered that up with a completely bland bechamel sauce; duh.

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Hilarious. Thanks for the great laugh. "Walk of shame..." Too damn funny.

[purplewiz]

So had to do that walk of shame back out to the grill with a half-cooked fillet...

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Hilarious. Thanks for the great laugh. "Walk of shame..." Too damn funny.

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The only thing worse is the quick pop into the microwave to finish it off and no one will ever know.....

Marcia.

[TongoRad]

So here's what I said on the Guilty Pleasures thread on June 27, 2005:

This past winter I was watching a prime-time football game and looking for an appropriate snack. In my fridge were some corn tortillas, leftover buffalo wing sauce and cheese and, voila, Buffalo Enchiladas. The tortillas were fried and the whole thing was served stacked, like pancakes, with layers of the sauce and cheese in between. I believe that one would be hard pressed to come up with anything more nauseatingly greasy than that concoction, with the oil, cheese and buttery sauce. However...

I must admit that I have actually made these a couple of times since then, though I always regret it afterward- the hallmark of a truly great guilty pleasure, imo.

I made them again a couple of days ago. This time I had my camera with me:

Honestly, I had no idea at the time that I was documenting the final plate. This was actually really good for the first half, but after that the combination of greasy, rich and spicy had finally brought me to my knees. "No mas!", I declared and actually had the sense to stop this time. So behold- the last of its kind...

...and don't do this at home.

[fou de Bassan]

Sooo,

Last night I made this wonderful lentil soup with tiny meatballs of spiced lamb. It was so good! And so very brown! And i thought, 'what could I add to change the brown? preserved lemon? nope, greek yoghurt? YES!' So I watched brown go to pale brown yuck. And pita on the side. how very colorful

My children said 'Mom, it's good, but it's really brown'.

[BryanZ]

My first post in this infamous thread is not something I directly created. It was, however, one of the worst things I've eaten in quite some time. But first, the back story for those who may be interested...

I was talking to my father in his office when my mother yells to me from the kitchen. I walk in, look at the stove, and see a perfectly good duck breast cooking in a skillet with no seasoning and no scoring of the skin side to help render out the fat. My mother asks me if the "duck confit is done." Clearly duck breast is not duck leg confit. Something has gone terribly wrong.

The other day I had given my mother the overview of the confiting process and how I enjoy using pre-cooked legs as the ultimate conveience food, as they simply need to be heated in the pan and require no further seasoning. I've been doing this for years, but then again my mother has only been eating my food, not cooking it. I digress. Anyway, my mother somehow mistook the raw duck breast sitting in the fridge for duck confit and cooked it as if she was reheating a vaccum-sealed leg of confit. What makes this even more puzzling is that she noted the specific expiration date on the package, but not the product label or the shape of the cut of meat.

After salvaging the duck breast during the last few minutes of cooking, I notice a pile of shredded iceberg lettuce and julliened red peppers, two of my least favorite produce items. My mother had planned on cleaning out the fridge using these items and the duck "confit" that was actually now a duck breast. Realizing this would soon be the salad from hell, I figured why not send it there in truly horrid glory. So in addition to the aforementioned items, in went the following random items: 1 Japanese cucumber, 1 over-ripe peach, red onion, 1 over-ripe tomato, 2 ears of corn from a week ago, and Asian bean sprouts.

The resulting creation was something so horrible that I want to wipe it from my memory forever. Nothing about it was bad in that all the ingredients were still viable, but it just felt and tasted so wrong.

[racheld]

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Quite a lot of backstory, and a good thing, too. I saw "last post, BryanZ" and thought: OK, the Boy Genius has broken the yolk of the FIRST poached egg for the noodles, and has a wee fleck of yellow out of place in one of his otherwise perfectly gorgeous creations.

But no, it was a beautiful plate, a simply stunning arrangement of fresh and crisp and green and red and yellow. ANYBODY would have been glad to sit down to that plate. And all the ingredients SOUND delicious. We'd all try it.

It has Megan's cucumbers, Susan and SnowAngel's corn and tomatoes, a peach and DUCK, for Heaven's sake!!

May all your failures be that beautiful.

[dockhl]

Sorry, BryanZ, too nice.

You gotta realize the competition here is fierce ! Look at mizducky's entry from May 25, 06

Now THAT is impressive.

(Your's does get an award for most heartbreaking misuse of a lovely ingredient, tho ! )

[christine007]

Yup, Mizducy is still in the lead, look at that thing!

[BryanZ]

I hang my head in shame. Honestly, it just tasted so off and strange that I HAD to post it here. It was regrettable in that I regret ever having eating it.

[dockhl]

I hang my head in shame.  Honestly, it just tasted so off and strange that I HAD to post it here.  It was regrettable in that I regret ever having eating it.

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Hmmmmmmm..... interesting. Here we have a divergence between 'regrettable taste' and 'regrettable appearance'. We have, in the past, concentrated our scrutiny on 'appearance'.

May have to have a SUBCATEGORY or new thread on 'TASTE'. I LOVE new options !

[Shalmanese]

Although I hesistate to come after mizduckys inspired attempt, I just finished clearing my digital camera and came across:

It was salmon marinated in a mixture of teriyaki and sweet chilli sauce and then seared. It tasted good but oh my, it looks bad.

[BryanZ]

That looks just fine. Just wipe the edge of the plate and you're golden. And, in my opinion, if it tasted good and looked like that its not all that regrettable.

[racheld]

Y'all have to go look at the "3 a.m. Party Grub" thread. Two of our three Wunderkinds are over there, showing pictures and discussing hangovers, fried lettuce and smoked eel/mashed potato sandwiches.

[Daniel]

Yeh Shal,

That doesnt look bad at all.. I recently saw Alton Brown do something cool with a Salmon.. I have never cooked a salmon steak before, so I dont know if this is common.. He folded in one of the ends and wrapped the other one around it.. Then he tied the whole thing with butcher string, making it into them into toranados.. I am not a fan of salmon, but want to cook it this way just to try it..

[rooftop1000]

Yeh Shal,

That doesnt look bad at all.. I recently saw Alton Brown do something cool with a Salmon.. I have never cooked a salmon steak before, so I dont know if this is common.. He folded in one of the ends and wrapped the other one around it.. Then he tied the whole thing with butcher string, making it into them into toranados.. I am not a fan of salmon, but want to cook it this way just to try it..

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Daniel

dont forget to trim the skin off one "tail" and the meat off the other so it wraps up perfectly

tracey

Edited June 5, 2006 by rooftop1000 (log)

[Shalmanese]

Yeh Shal,

That doesnt look bad at all.. I recently saw Alton Brown do something cool with a Salmon.. I have never cooked a salmon steak before, so I dont know if this is common.. He folded in one of the ends and wrapped the other one around it.. Then he tied the whole thing with butcher string, making it into them into toranados.. I am not a fan of salmon, but want to cook it this way just to try it..

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I tried that at first, it didn't work. For whatever reason, the cut I had was far too stiff to wrap around anything.

[Daniel]

Very interesting.. I wouldnt even think that could happen.. When I attempt this, I will be sure to discuss with the fish guy...

[Miriam Kresh]

I have read that salmon may be wrapped in foil and cooked in the dishwasher as the dishes get clean - a handy way to save on electricity.

But I've never been tempted.

Miriam

[Grub]

I have read that salmon may be wrapped in foil and cooked in the dishwasher as the dishes get clean - a handy way to save on electricity.

...

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Oh dear... That sounds like something Alton Brown would do...

[Miriam Kresh]

The Naked Chef?! We don't keep a TV, so I'm not sure of this. But I believe that's what I was told.

Miriam

[gfron1]

It seemed like a good idea...a nice Thai meal on a hot summer night. But then, something went wrong...terribly wrong.

And note that it was so hot that my spouse was wearing nothing but boxers (you can see the red flowered shorts in the top picture) at the dinner table.

I thought it looked like ThaiKraut.

Edited June 8, 2006 by gfron1 (log)

[dockhl]

It seemed like a good idea...a nice Thai meal on a hot summer night.  But then, something went wrong...terribly wrong.

And note that it was so hot that my spouse was wearing nothing but boxers (you can see the red flowered shorts in the top picture) at the dinner table.

I thought it looked like ThaiKraut.

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Very much so.......sad little undersauced noodles with one shriveled sprig of basil......?

Was it good? Was there anything other than the noodles?

[mrbigjas]

I thought it looked like ThaiKraut.

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ha! i've had that same problem. i just got hot sour salty sweet for my birthday, and the first recipe i made out of it was for summer rolls, which said to soak the vermicelli for 20 minutes, and then boil them for 2 minutes. well, the instant they hit the boiling water, they just turned into those same sauerkrauty-lookin lumps of noodles. they merged with each other, turning into slimy blobs of noodle-esque material... i gave up and threw them away, and soaked another batch, which i then steamed like the noodle package said to do. they were still sticky as hell, but not as bad as that...

anyway, i feel for ya. i really do.

[gfron1]

There was a bit more than the shriveled basil leaf. It had mushrooms and green onion in mushroom sauce. Have you ever noticed how all the good stuff stays on the bottom of the pan when you make dishes like this...It is one of the reasons I adore chefs in Asian restaurants. It tasted...well...okay, but nothing I would make again. At home when we have a meal like this we say Bon Appeshit.

Edited June 9, 2006 by gfron1 (log)

[eJulia]

At home when we have a meal like this we say Bon Appeshit.

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HAHAAAA! Bon Appeshit is now a permanent part of my culinary vocabulary - Bravo!