Sandra Lee's Show...

[lesfen]

[Oh lesfen please post to our dear Sandy's fan page soon!  I only regret that we won't be able to sing the praises of another of her holiday classics:  the Star of David Cake. Surprisingly, she also used store bought angel food cake, but decorated the "cake" with canned vanilla frosting died blue, stuffed the center with marshmallows and decorated it with fake pearls strung on wire which allowed her to create the "Star of David" atop said cake.  The only drawback was I believe her "Star" had five points instead of six!    Mysteriously, Foodtv has removed this classic from their website. Can't imagine why.

Edited for technicolor emphasis.

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Done and done. Over 200 Fans Strong, baby.

I missed the Star of David Cake... I'd be curious to know what kind of bitchin' cocktail she whipped up to wash that bad boy down. Woof.

Edited August 23, 2005 by lesfen (log)

[mrbigjas]

That cannot be real. Dear lord. I can't even wrap my mind around the possibility that that cake exists.

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believe it, kiliki. give in. it's a trainwreck you can't not watch.

[dvs]

check out my new avatar

[lesfen]

check out my new avatar 

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You are the coolest. It looks so much nicer on egullet! Looks like they got a semi-homemade website as a tribute.

[deibu]

It's all a tribute to the City of Lights, France.

[Zeemanb]

There's a John Waters movie in this somewhere.......

[kellycolorado]

Yum, pentagram cake! Maybe a blue curacao and tequila cocktail to go with it, with blueberries floating on top.

[Oh lesfen please post to our dear Sandy's fan page soon!  I only regret that we won't be able to sing the praises of another of her holiday classics:  the Star of David Cake. Surprisingly, she also used store bought angel food cake, but decorated the "cake" with canned vanilla frosting died blue, stuffed the center with marshmallows and decorated it with fake pearls strung on wire which allowed her to create the "Star of David" atop said cake.  The only drawback was I believe her "Star" had five points instead of six!   Mysteriously, Foodtv has removed this classic from their website. Can't imagine why.

Edited for technicolor emphasis.

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Done and done. Over 200 Fans Strong, baby.

I missed the Star of David Cake... I'd be curious to know what kind of bitchin' cocktail she whipped up to wash that bad boy down. Woof.

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[divalasvegas]

I just found this forum for "fans" of Sandra...  I joined, of course.  Remember, only "positive" posts about Sandra are allowed.  I joined in on the discussion, of course.  Remember, if you decide to post, keep it simple, and keep it "semi-homemade"!  

Sandra's "Fans" Homepage

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Okay everybody, I'm now an official member of Sandra's/Snadra's/Shamdra's fan club. My screen moniker is busydiva." After perusing it, I think it must have been started as a joke by Sandra haters just for fun but has attracted more than a few imebeciles who think this is a real fan page. I mean, it just can't be a real fan page, can it?

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I need to get posting. My signature is "Now, with underwire waistband!!

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Oh lesfen please post to our dear Sandy's fan page soon! I only regret that we won't be able to sing the praises of another of her holiday classics: the Star of David Cake. Surprisingly, she also used store bought angel food cake, but decorated the "cake" with canned vanilla frosting died blue, stuffed the center with marshmallows and decorated it with fake pearls strung on wire which allowed her to create the "Star of David" atop said cake. The only drawback was I believe her "Star" had five points instead of six! Mysteriously, Foodtv has removed this classic from their website. Can't imagine why.

Edited for technicolor emphasis.

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Since I know that there are so many of you out there who felt deprived in not being able to see that wonderful cake, I managed to track down an image from Ms. Lee's website. I even tried to imagine how this brilliant idea came to her:

And Thus Sayeth the Lord, behold a gift from my faithful servant, Sandra Lee, the Star of Hanukkah Cake (formerly known as the Star of David Cake ).

The Star of Hanukkah Cake

But then a cry went out across the land, "But what beverage shall the people drink to wash down this gift of Heaven?" And behold, the Lord said:

Sandra's White Nights Cocktail

And then the people rejoiced and ate and drank and made a joyful noise unto the Lord.

[lesfen]

It's... it's... stunning. Just stunning.

Oh, and the cocktail... there are few things in this world that I love more than beverages that containg corn syrup, sugar, AND booze!

[Badiane]

Holy Crap...it wouldn't be a White Night, it would be a black one...you'd be passed out in a sugar coma!!! 2 cups of heavy cream with 1 cup of corn syrup AND a 1/2 cup of sugar??!!! Is she out of her tiny little mind? It would be like drinking pancake syrup. I have GOT to join that website.

[Fresser]

But you have to check this out! Someone else posted this link and I had to follow:

Fans of Sandra

It's this creepy, sycophanty message board full of illiterates who talk about the dangers of fresh food, and how Sandra understands this and protects us from them.

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This false paean to Sandra Lee is the Spinal Tap of cooking shows.

[lia]

From the Star of David cake webpage:

"Remove pearls before cutting and serving."

Thanks.

I saw the jalapeno popper/marinated steak show last night and I was surprised. Is this a new direction for her or was the show an anomaly?

And yeah, she talks too much...I want to count how many times she says, "now what you want to do is..."

[MomOfLittleFoodies]

I used to watch her show a lot just for the "train wreck" effect. I had to stop when the morning sickness popped up because seeing that crap made me run for the toilet.

I think SL's biggest crimes against food (not including desserts) were her BBQ ribs, that horrid Salad Chinois, and those Beer Margaritas.

[lia]

I just did a search on the Foodtv site to see what a Beer Margarita was, and so I have to ask, what's the point? You have tequila and lime there already, why exactly is beer added?

and BREAKFAST SAUSAGE in a dumpling/wonton type dish? Can you imagine seeing these at a party, ooh, those look good...then biting into it and tasting BREAKFAST SAUSAGE? the horror.

[Jennifer Iannolo]

This may be one of my favorite eGullet threads.

The fan site is definitely a mockery, because the more I read, the more I sense that most people there are doubled over in laughter as they post words of praise.

Fabulous.

[rich]

While browsing through her semi-ho webpage, I found this recipe for her Oriental 1/2  teaspoon minced fresh garlic, McCormick®

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Isn't that an ingredient an oxymoron? How does McCormick put "fresh" garlic in a jar? I thought they only made dry goods.

[Basilgirl]

I think SL's biggest crimes against food (not including desserts) were her BBQ ribs, that horrid Salad Chinois, and those Beer Margaritas.

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I think her worst crime was the "Tapas and 'Tinis" episode where she made "pulled pork" out of store bought cooked baby back ribs. She managed to mangle the meat off the bones and tear it into chunks, then added chili sauce and taco seasoning and served them on frozen oven fried potato chips. What the hell kind of "tapa" is that?

Another favorite was her grilled cheese sandwiches made with canned cheese soup. I mean, the soup was mixed with shredded cheese and then put in between the bread.

Remember, always Keep It Semi-Horrendous.

[MarketStEl]

This is the ingredient list, I'm not sure what frightens me more, the Jimmy Dean pork sausage as the meat filling, the use of sage in an asian dumpling, or the use of PAM spray?

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Would it make you feel any better if she recommended the store brand?

[MarketStEl]

Another favorite was her grilled cheese sandwiches made with canned cheese soup. I mean, the soup was mixed with shredded cheese and then put in between the bread. 

Remember, always Keep It Semi-Horrendous.

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"Semi-"?

Now I know for sure that Sandra Lee is actually a cookbot (or is that modelbot?) created by a consortium of major food processors and manufacturers.

How could this possibly be an improvement over just slapping a slice or two of American cheese between two slices of bread? (If Sandra must have a Brand Name in her recipe, I will allow her the use of Kraft® Velveeta®.)

[MomOfLittleFoodies]

On the subject of the Semi-Homemaiden and garlic, she uses the chopped crap from the jar because she doesn't like how "messy" chopping your own can be. Whatever happened to using a mini-chopper or just crushing it if you don't want garlicky hands?

[Megan Blocker]

On the subject of the Semi-Homemaiden and garlic, she uses the chopped crap from the jar because she doesn't like how "messy" chopping your own can be. Whatever happened to using a mini-chopper or just crushing it if you don't want garlicky hands?

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No, the real reason is that she's getting kickbacks from the companies that provide said packaged garlic. That's just my humble theory.

Edited August 26, 2005 by Megan Blocker (log)

[Megan Blocker]

Another favorite was her grilled cheese sandwiches made with canned cheese soup. I mean, the soup was mixed with shredded cheese and then put in between the bread. 

Remember, always Keep It Semi-Horrendous.

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This just seems like so much more work (and not as good) as plain grilled cheese. What's the f-ing point, Sandra? Explain, PLEASE!

Edited August 26, 2005 by Megan Blocker (log)

[Jennifer Iannolo]

Another favorite was her grilled cheese sandwiches made with canned cheese soup. I mean, the soup was mixed with shredded cheese and then put in between the bread. 

Remember, always Keep It Semi-Horrendous.

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This just seems like so much more work (and not as good) as plain grilled cheese. What's the f-ing point, Sandra? Explain, PLEASE!

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I was...going to say the same thing. The canned cheese fiasco actually seems like more work.

Oh, the humanity.

[MomOfLittleFoodies]

wait, i've just noticed the spam and vodka whirled (and hurled) cocktail. wow. good if you've been telling yourself that one of these days you'll give up the joy juice. one look at that cocktail and you'll know the day is here.

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Thanks... you just made me gag.

I love spam, but the thought of it in an alcoholic beverage is truly revolting... like eating liver and onions a la mode.

[divalasvegas]

Oh golly folks, our Sandy is on RIGHT NOW!!! Her show's theme today is how to create your very own hoe-down at home!

Why she's already shown how to take jarred salsa and make it "fresh" tasting by adding cilantro, scallions (from a plastic bag because one must avoid handling those stinky onions at all times), and a couple of teaspoons of powdered mesquite seasoning--from a packet. she instructs.

And, what's this? Here's what she did when she ran out of bbq sauce. Well you know our Sandy; she just improvised her own by starting with a jar of SPAGHETTI SAUCE for her tri-tip roast.

And that scrumptious cheesy corn on the cob using the cheese flavored powder from a boxed mac and cheese.

Uh oh, gotta go now. Sandy's making her hoe down cocktail with apple cider, cinnamon schnapps, bourbon and peach liquer. And she's decorating her "hoe-scape" for your backyard.

WHOOT!