Sandra Lee's Show...

[dahlsk]

I know not everyone likes Amanda Hesser, but she had a great article back a month or two ripping Sandra Lee to shreds. I read it with glee...

[deibu]

I just found this forum for "fans" of Sandra... I joined, of course. Remember, only "positive" posts about Sandra are allowed. I joined in on the discussion, of course. Remember, if you decide to post, keep it simple, and keep it "semi-homemade"!

Sandra's "Fans" Homepage

Edited August 14, 2005 by deibu (log)

[kiliki]

Her fans have time to play on message boards but not time to cook real food?

[MarketStEl]

The Food Network is a perfect platform for shows like Sandra's, because its no longer a food education or cooking education type of resource. Shows like Good Eats or Sarah Moulton are in the minority now.

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Pro wrestling = "sports entertainment"*

Food Network = "food entertainment"?

*Actually, I prefer to think of pro wrestling as "soap opera for men."

[Metal Spice]

Don't shoot me for slowing down to look at the car wreck! 2 more years - God help us all! I openly admit that I will watch that show just for the pure humor/what the hell is she making now aspect of it. And I ALWAYS change my kitchen decor with what I'm cooking. Always - don't you? If she's taught me anything, it's that my boobs belong at the waistband of my pants.

Edited August 15, 2005 by Metal Spice (log)

[FabulousFoodBabe]

Her fans have time to play on message boards but not time to cook real food?

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Well, hel-LO? That's part of being a busy, modern American! Less time spent on kitchen drudgery means more time to spend worshiping and enriching the pockets of someone whose head is in her tablescape!

[Grub]

Pro wrestling = "sports entertainment"*

Food Network = "food entertainment"?

*Actually, I prefer to think of pro wrestling as "soap opera for men."

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Now that is a completely unfair comparison! If pro wrestling was anything like Sandra Lee's show, it would consist mostly of drunken midget luchadors lighting their own farts and telling knock-knock jokes.

(Okay, that might not be such a good joke, seeing that there's probably a fair chance Vince McMahon has used this in a storyline at some point...)

I still see Sara Moulton's show -- I thought that was supposed to be cancelled? Or are those just repeats?

[kellycolorado]

I just have to say that I think this is the funniest (and scariest) post I've seen on eGullet.

I have watched her show.  The following are reasons why she must be stopped:

-She decorated a store bought cake with canned frosting and CORN NUTS!

-All of her beverages are either mind-numbingly sweet, syrupy crap, best suited to making your 5 year old into a tasmanian sugar devil, or are full of mixed liquors--guarenteed to send you to worship at the porcelain altar the next day.  She even engourages one to serve these "shooters" or whatever TF they're called,  for your 10th anniversary, in order to "make it like your first! <nauseating giggle>" When you apparently passed out insensibly, mid-foreplay.

-she uses live fish for party decorations, and wraps marshmallows in canned fondant for kids parties.

-she uses breakfast sausage in asian wontons, and Stove Top to fill her Steak Pinwheels

--She makes cookies from canned frosting and graham cracker crumbs.

-her show contains a curious phenomenon, named by the TWOP boards as "Milli Vanilli Hands." She's often shot from the neck down, especially when demonstrating some sort of technique, like chopping, or shaping. . . Like its's not really her.  Since the particular dish she's working on usually looks horrible, and then out-from-nowhere comes a much better specimen of the same dish, it is clear that she is very very reliant on her food stylists, and that she just doesn't have the chops.

-she bombed on The View, of all places.  Joy and that Vierra woman declared a lot of her stuff to be gross, unhealthy, or hardly time-saving.

She. Must. Be. Stopped.

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[monavano]

It's funny you mention the "Millie Vanillie' hands. I watch her show every once in a while ala the car wreck factor, and my husband asked why she hardly touched the food! This particular show, most ingredients were poured out of plastic bags! No, she doesn't have knife skills and I'm glad women on the view, who are moms, thought this food is wretched and not nutritious at all.

[scordelia]

If she has a cooking show, then why can't I have one? I can actually cook something from scratch!

I cannot believe she got renewed! She makes Rachel Ray seem like a culinary genius. Although I have to admit to tuning in for the unintentional humor!

[Soup]

If she has a cooking show, then why can't I have one? I can actually cook something from scratch!

I cannot believe she got renewed! She makes Rachel Ray seem like a culinary genius. Although I have to admit to tuning in for the unintentional humor!

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Certainly easy on the eyes. And now in Hi-Def.

[stringcheese]

If she has a cooking show, then why can't I have one? I can actually cook something from scratch!

Well, see....that's your problem. From Scratch? What are you thinking???

[scordelia]

But you have to check this out! Someone else posted this link and I had to follow:

Fans of Sandra

It's this creepy, sycophanty message board full of illiterates who talk about the dangers of fresh food, and how Sandra understands this and protects us from them. There is one poster who said she had not tried the Salad Chinois (made with La Choy canned veggies) because she does not like Japanese things. There are also a great number of posters who talk about being in the habit of eating canned food because it would survive a terrorist attack or nuclear fallout, and now they are so happy because they have great recipes for canned food.

[Moopheus]

But you have to check this out! Someone else posted this link and I had to follow:

Fans of Sandra

Omy, I had to look. Terrifying doesn't begin to cover it.

I was amused to see that the woman who started it lives in Rachel, Nevada. I think the sign on the road into town will have to be changed from "population, humans, 98, aliens, 0". Clearly it's at least, Aliens, 1.

[lesfen]

You know... aside from having to choke down her food, I think I would like to attend one of her little parties. I think she'd be hilarious. She'd get all tanked up on her "beer margaritas" (woof) and then eventually demolish her precious tablescape attempting a keg stand. She could probably pull it off... wait for it... but when inverted, her pendulous boobs break free of their waistband prison and knock her out.

[Jennifer Iannolo]

Ok, my curiosity got the better of me -- so I looked.

I cannot help but think that some of these "sweet" posts from "fans" are actually a scathing mockery of the genuine ones there. There is simply no way people can be this...lacking in judgment. (Jell-O as hairspray?)

Though I did see this regarding someone they saw as "copying" Sandra:

Maybe Sandra should contact her legal team and search for ways to protect her trademark hair, cooking tricks, recipes and tablescapes so that nobody can ride her coat tails.

I always advise the celebrities I know to trademark their hair immediately -- otherwise, who knows how many evil idea stealers might copy it!

[scordelia]

But some of them are genuine. That's the pathetic thing--they are so fun to tease.

[John]

If she has a cooking show, then why can't I have one? I can actually cook something from scratch!

I cannot believe she got renewed! She makes Rachel Ray seem like a culinary genius. Although I have to admit to tuning in for the unintentional humor!

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Certainly easy on the eyes. And now in Hi-Def.

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I don't cook (except for hot dogs), and have no desire to learn, but I love to eat. And I tune into Food Network once in awhile just to see what they are preparing and if I can get my wife to make something that looks good to me. I know from reading E-Gullet that people like Emeril, Rachel Ray, and Sandra Lee may not be the best of cooks. But Emeril is entertaining and Sandra is one of the most attractive and sexiest women I've seen on television. I like to read while I'm half paying attention to whatever is on tv, which is frequently the Food Network. I'm not looking for cooking tips, but to see different foods and dishes, and to be entertained. I think there are a lot of others like me, which probably accounts for the popularity of some of these shows. One guy at work watches Rachel Ray because he has a crush on her. Another likes the skinny girl (Gianna?) who hosts an Italian cooking show. I like watching Sandra Lee. I guess there's no accounting for taste.

[Megan Blocker]

I like watching Sandra Lee. I guess there's no accounting for taste.

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You can say that again.

As for that other board - MAN! Has anyone had a look at the "Things that used to make me skiddish (sic)" thread? I am dying here.

A link (you do have to register - ).

[Jennifer Iannolo]

I like watching Sandra Lee. I guess there's no accounting for taste.

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You can say that again.

As for that other board - MAN! Has anyone had a look at the "Things that used to make me skiddish (sic)" thread? I am dying here.

A link (you do have to register - ).

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ROFL -- or chopping that "icky" garlic!

I can't stop looking -- there has got to be a sadistic streak in me somewhere. Muahahahaha...

[kiliki]

That cannot be real. Dear lord. I can't even wrap my mind around the possibility that that cake exists.

Edited August 22, 2005 by kiliki (log)

[MarketStEl]

And then there is this piece of existential intellectual profundity, modestly titled "A few thoughts on the wisdom of Sandra":

Her finger points to the oven, but her hand on the swizzle stick releases us from the Sisyphean burden of the endless tablescape.

Coyly Sandra hides the identities of products easily recognized. We know and yet do not know. The notions of form and identity are questioned, an epistemological antagonism encoding the consumer-bourgeoise desires of the viewer in a topology of food/nonfood symmetries. Cool Whip, the food which is not a food, and yet it is eaten, a semi-homemade miracle of transubstantiation.

Sandra says, "this is a souffle," and yet it has no egg whites, and does not rise in the oven; it does not souffle, a mysterious zen koan of domesticity, a brilliant Saussurian project on par with Magritte's C'est ne pas un pipe.

"Now," she says, "what I want you to do." A command sublimating the demarcation of the realms of demagogy and neoconstructivist class hierarchies. At once establishing her dominion in the power relationship, and at the same time inviting participation in the privileges of the post-industrial global hegemony. The proletariat no longer controls the means of production, but is satisfied to manipulate the results. She shows us the vast expanse of her pantry, the cans and boxes of the products of the cornucopia of late-model capitalism lined in ranks like an invading army waiting for orders to occupy the kitchen. 

And all this time I was under the impression that Sandra Lee was an airhead. My, oh, my, how wrong I was.

Guess I'm going to have to surrender my eGullet affiliation and go over to the Dark Side.

[JanMcBaker]

Yes, nothing says 'Kwanzaa' to me quite like angel food cake and corn nuts......

Here's my first, official post to Sandra's Fansite, in the Luv her Receipes section:

Hello fellow Sandra lovers. I just wanted to give Sandy a shout-out for being so very culturally sensitive. I'm talking about her gorgeous Kwanzaa cake. I mean to have the creativity to turn store bought angelfood cake, white canned frosting, cocoa power, corn nuts and sunflowers seeds to into a show stopping centerpiece honoring this African American holiday took a lot of, well, err, something terrific. I was especially impressed by her use of the three full sized candles in red, black and green shoved into the cake to emphasize the historical relevance of this holiday. Word to Sandra: Thanks for keepin' it real!

Here's a link to a picture of this beautiful creation:

Sandy's Sho' Nuff Kwanzaa Cake

Damn, I only just realized that I forgot to mention in my description of the cake above, the addition of canned apple pie filling she dumped into the center of the cake.

Oh well, since I'm an official member of her fan club, I can always go back to that website and do a little editing.

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[Moopheus]

That cannot be real. Dear lord. I can't even wrap my mind around the possibility that that cake exists.

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Oh yes, indeedy--in fact, the infamous holiday cake episode has been cited as one of the signs of the coming Apocalypse.

Edited August 23, 2005 by Moopheus (log)

[divalasvegas]

I just found this forum for "fans" of Sandra...  I joined, of course.  Remember, only "positive" posts about Sandra are allowed.  I joined in on the discussion, of course.  Remember, if you decide to post, keep it simple, and keep it "semi-homemade"!  

Sandra's "Fans" Homepage

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Okay everybody, I'm now an official member of Sandra's/Snadra's/Shamdra's fan club. My screen moniker is busydiva." After perusing it, I think it must have been started as a joke by Sandra haters just for fun but has attracted more than a few imebeciles who think this is a real fan page. I mean, it just can't be a real fan page, can it?

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I need to get posting. My signature is "Now, with underwire waistband!!

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Oh lesfen please post to our dear Sandy's fan page soon! I only regret that we won't be able to sing the praises of another of her holiday classics: the Star of David Cake. Surprisingly, she also used store bought angel food cake, but decorated the "cake" with canned vanilla frosting died blue, stuffed the center with marshmallows and decorated it with fake pearls strung on wire which allowed her to create the "Star of David" atop said cake. The only drawback was I believe her "Star" had five points instead of six! Mysteriously, Foodtv has removed this classic from their website. Can't imagine why.

Edited for technicolor emphasis.

Edited August 23, 2005 by divalasvegas (log)