Babies/Children in Restaurants (merged topic)

[fifi]

Perhaps I am just reacting to reading the Pax Britannica trilogy (James Morris) for the third time. I am beginning to understand the wisdom of leaving the raising of children to the professionals . . . nannies and boarding schools.

My solution to this problem is as stated by many above. Let your problem be known to the management. If enough patrons do this, management will eventually have to deal with it. When there is a safety problem I would get a little more immediate. Uncontolled kiddos in a restaurant are a definite safety issue.

[maggiethecat]

Got two classics today from co-workers returning from vacation:

At an unscale seafood place in San Francisco, my friend overheard the nine-year-old asking if his mother had toetail clippers in her purse. She did, handled them over, and the kid put his foot up on the table, and clipped his toenails, making a neat pile on the table.

At a Chipotle, two mothers allowed their toddlers to play with their tambourine and xylophone throughout lunch.

As I've often said, it's the parents who should be barred from restuarants!

[MomOfLittleFoodies]

I have 3 kids between the ages of 8 and 2. We have on occasion taken them to fine dining establishments, BUT, the child to adult ratio when we do so is 1 child per 2 adults. When the kids get antsy, they get escorted outdoors or to the restroom to let off a little steam. This is for special occasions though, such as adult birthday or anniversary dinners. We don't allow them to get loud, or to throw things, or to run around the restaurant. We expect them to use age appropriate good manners.

What really bothers me are the parents who take their kids to family style restaurants and let their kids run all over the restaurant, harass other diners, and knock over chairs. At that point it's no longer just an annoyance/irritation issue, but one of safety.

On Friday night, we took our kids to Fresh Choice (a salad/soup bar), and halfway through our meal, another family with kids sat next to us. The entire time they were there, the little brats danced around the table (knocking into my daughters high chair several times), dropped food all over the place, teased my kids, knocked over chairs, complained and whined at the top of their lungs... and their parents didn't do a thing about it, just shrugged at us and shot us dirty looks. They had boys that looked to be about 7 and 5... kids that should have known better. My boys are about the same age and while my boys weren't perfectly well behaved, they were certainly doing better than that.

[PopsicleToze]

\The entire time they were there, the little brats danced around the table (knocking into my daughters high chair several times), dropped food all over the place, teased my kids, knocked over chairs, complained and whined at the top of their lungs... and their parents didn't do a thing about it,

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The proper response would have been to look their parents squarely in the eye and say, "Excuse me. Your sons just about knocked over my child's high chair. She could have been hurt. Could you please tell them NOT to do that again? Thank you." And if the idiots didn't make their children behave after that, you should have asked for the manager.

Rhonda

[TheFoodTutor]

Last week, I had a table in the "pit" - a recessed area of the dining room that contains our most requested booths, and the couple in the booth had a very young boy with them who was standing up on the seat and jumping up and down, making a good deal of noise in the process. While I was taking the order, the boy jumped over and over, and he eventually smashed his lip into the wall behind the booth, injuring himself enough that he made a hurty face at his mom and started into a little wailing fit. I mostly ignored it, but I did notice that his parents sort of admonished him for jumping around and hurting himself like that.

After the family was served their meal, he went back to jumping up and down on the seat again, and his parents seemed to think there was nothing they could do to stop him from standing on the booth seat and jumping like that. At that point, I went around behind the booth and spoke directly to the little boy. "Now, you're not going to hurt yourself again, are you?" I asked. "Because if you hurt yourself again, I'll feel very bad, do you understand?"

Upon being addressed by me, he immediately sank down to sit in his seat like a proper person. It gave me the feeling that no amount of discipline at all is administered, for a waitress to have that much authority, much more than the parents have.

Is this the current state of parenting? Was I wrong to speak to the child? I felt really uncomfortable doing it.

[Busboy]

I'd shy away from "is this the state of parenting today"-type generalizations, as they tend to be based on the one family that is doing a bad job and not on the many more families whose children were so quiet you didn't notice them, or who decided to leave their children at home.

Not long ago I had a spectacular meal at Sushi-Ko here in DC and a little way through the raw fish a baby started crying, and the parents fussed with him a moment or two and then carried the little fellow out. It was maybe three minute worth of distraction (I'm sure it seemed longer to the parents) and then nothing.

But, it turned out that one of the adults at the next table was one of those ass-hat blowhards you get seated next to every now and again, who had to tell the whole restaurant about his partnership, his children's private schools, his new house...whatever. He was annoying as hell for well over an hour. And the juxtaposition of the two events got me thinking: how many times has a meal been damaged by kids, and how many times by adults. Fortunately, I can count the problems in either case on one hand, my experience has been that if somebody at another table is going to annoy you over dinner, they're drinking wine, not milk.

Not that there's any excuse for parents who let their kids run amok, but many years' at the table tells me that cruddy service, bad food, foul-mouthed drunks and over-amplified blowhards all rank ahead of kids in terms of dangers to a decent meal.

[Tess]

Is this the current state of parenting? Was I wrong to speak to the child? I felt really uncomfortable doing it.

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People sometimes get upset if you speak to their children directly like that, but I don't see why. Kids are human beings; why should you not talk to them? I was recently in a nice restaurant near a couple with three young boys. The boys were obviously a little keyed up but they behaved well on the whole, and one of the things I noticed was that the host and waiters kept coming over and talking to the kids.

By contrast, we recently ate most of a meal while watched over by a little kid standing next to our table grabbing his crotch. It was a large family group and the parents had decided to give the little kids their own table, with apparently no adult sitting there. The kids were not screaming or anything, but I thought it was kind of scary.

[winesonoma]

Kids can be like dogs, let one in and ya gotta let them all in. I belong to a group that bans dogs from overnight camping. I don't mind well behaved kids but then you have to include the rest. No kids where I eat please. Or your tips will suffer big time.

[Hest88]

Was I wrong to speak to the child? I felt really uncomfortable doing it.

No. See, when I was growing up my mom thought nothing of adult neighbors telling me if I were doing something wrong--just as she expected them to watch over me and keep me safe. The thing about "it takes a village" is that for too many people it means other adults are supposed to keep their child safe but not teach them how to grow up to be functioning members of society.

[TheFoodTutor]

I'd shy away from "is this the state of parenting today"-type generalizations, as they tend to be based on the one family that is doing a bad job and not on the many more families whose children were so quiet you didn't notice them, or who decided to leave their children at home.

I wish I could agree with you here. Unfortunately, where I live and work, the parents with rotten kids waaaaay outnumber the ones I see who have well-behaved children. In fact, it's so unusual to see good children that I always praise the good kids publicly, letting them know that I appreciate their behavior.

And this particular restaurant is apparantly not what people in this area think is nice enough to hire a babysitter for. However, people in my city dine out so often that only restaurants that charge in the neighborhood of $100 per person or more are likely to be "babysitter" type destinations.

[therese]

But, it turned out that one of the adults at the next table was one of those ass-hat blowhards you get seated next to every now and again, who had to tell the whole restaurant about his partnership, his children's private schools, his new house...whatever.  He was annoying as hell for well over an hour.  And the juxtaposition of the two events got me thinking: how many times has a meal been damaged by kids, and how many times by adults.  Fortunately, I can count the problems in either case on one hand, my experience has been that if somebody at another table is going to annoy you over dinner, they're drinking wine, not milk.

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Just had one of these experiences myself, dining at Seeger's in Atlanta. One of the few places around that still insists on a jacket for men, very hushed dining room, etc. We remaining diners staged a mini revolt, deciding that we'd just talk over him. It worked well, and was certainly the most fun I've ever had dining at Seeger's, but dinner would have been ruined if we hadn't all been willing to play along.

I related this story to a friend who'd been dining at another nice (but not nearly so upmarket) restaurant in Atlanta the same evening, and he commented that his meal had been disturbed (though not ruined) by a six month old. I pointed out that I'd have traded in a heartbeat, as a six month old is at least potentially quiet and almost certainly attractive (two things our fellow diner most definitely wasn't).

[hjshorter]

It's my experience that kids often behave better for other authority figures (teachers, babysitters, etc.) because they don't know what their boundaries are with that other person, or what the non-parent's reaction will when they teste their limits. So a friendly but stern word from a server might get the desired behaviour, whereas the parent's admonishments might be ignored if the parents have not been consistent. Most kids know that their parents will love them no matter what - and that that doesn't always extend outside the family.

[Milagai]

the last few posts here where people pointed out that

obnoxious adults can be worse than rude kids were

really appreciated.

my humble view as an outsider to western culture

is that it seems to be very age segregated.

kids are OK as long as they behave like perfect

adults. very old persons with "imperfect" appetites

and control are not made very welcome either.

this is nothing management can do anything about really.

and i am sorry i have no strategy to suggest to

improve things.

i am merely curious how people expect children to

be socialized without repeated exposure to

such environments, and how will they learn to behave

in them otherwise? can't turn out perfect product

overnight.....

anyhow, being the proud possessor of two dubious

blessings, age 8 (very well behaved) and 3 (can't

sit still and runs all around making very social conversation

with everyone from guests to kitchen staff)

in the west we leave 3 YO at home because he makes

us parents too tense for anyone to have fun.

however 1 week ago on vacation in munnar (nilgiri high range

tea estate holiday destination type place) we ate at

a high end local restaurant, and it was incredible.

3 YO was up to his usual tricks plus was tired, but there

was nowhere mich else to go, so i was walking him up and down

and trying to keep him calm while food arrived.

he wasn't much impressed and was more interested in

fraternizing with the (not too busy) staff) who

just took him out of my arms, walked around with him,

asked specifically what *he* wanted to eat (we adults didn't

get this kind of attention), gave him and the 8 YO a kitchen

tour and free cookies, and delivered him back with the food.

adults and 8 yo had a good dinner, but 3 yo ate a few bites

and threw up all over furniture

and floor. i was mortified and immediately dived onto

my hands and knees cleaning up, but staff as they helped

just kept saying "never mind, he's only a kid, it happens, etc".

the diners at the next table were a little peeved

(understandably) but didn't say anything

and no-one else turned a hair

or complained that their expensive dinners were

being compromised.

same in most other restaurants we went to

(minus the throwing up) and same in the

forest hike we went: when 3 yo started whining

(yes, he's awful and i hope he will outgrow this

and i assure you this is despite best parental efforts

at kid control), before dh and i could react, the

forest guard just reached down and picked him up

and carried him the rest of the way....

i grew up here and i kind of know things are like this

but this is the first time i had experienced it for myself.....

it definitely takes the edge off parenting a difficult child,

and provides a humane alternative to incarcerating

child (and parents) until child is old enough to be left alone

at home...

milagai

Edited August 2, 2005 by Milagai (log)

[prasantrin]

It's my experience that kids often behave better for other authority figures (teachers, babysitters, etc.) because they don't know what their boundaries are with that other person, or what the non-parent's reaction will when they teste their limits.  So a friendly but stern word from a server might get the desired behaviour, whereas the parent's admonishments might be ignored if the parents have not been consistent.  Most kids know that their parents will love them no matter what - and that that doesn't always extend outside the family.

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I have found that, as well. Even just a "Hello...you look sad," to a crying child from a stranger helps to quiet them.

I have also found, however, that many parents object to even the slightest hint of a non-parent "disciplining" their child.

I said much the same thing as you did here, and this was one of the replies.

[FabulousFoodBabe]

I have also found, however, that many parents object to even the slightest hint of a non-parent "disciplining" their child. 

Just curious -- do you have children?

I really don't understand why someone would think it's okay to criticize or correct someone else's child when the parents were right there. If the parents won't deal with it, call for the manager. As I've learned to do in movie theaters with chatters, I ask nicely, "is your little one going to shriek/throw food/cry through dinner? I'd like to change tables now if you plan to allow that to continue."

I'm one of those weirdo parents who refused to budge on a few issues, and table manners is one of them. At any age, at any table. We spent quite a a few dinner hours with one of us outside with the misbehaving kid. Yeah, we'd taken a 6-month old to a restaurant when he appeared to be sleeping well at a certain time, and when he didn't cooperate, well, we got takeout. When they were older, I'd call ahead to a restaurant and see about bringing them in at a rather earlier time -- most places were thrilled to be "training grounds" treated my sons like royalty.

[TPO]

Kids will be kids, and even some who are normally well-behaved will have a bad day where they are tired and acting out. This does not bother me, as long as the parents attempt to alleviate the problem.

My two biggest pet peeves when dining at nice retaurants are (1) parents who completely tune out the child and just go on with their meal as though the screaming child was not even there, and (2) parents who make idle threats such as "If you don't stop, we'll leave" and then don't. (And if the child wants to leave, that threat isn't going to work regardless.)

To me, the parents -- not the other patrons -- are the ones who should be inconvenienced by taking the child out to walk around or packing their meal up and heading home. I know that walking around won't always work, and packing up a meal isn't always possible, but to me as long as the parents are making a good faith effort to be considerate to other diners, the situation is tolerable.

Additionally, I think patrons have the right to expect adults to make reasonable efforts to reduce the inconvenience other other situations, such as by taking cell phone calls away from their tables and controlling drunk companions.

[prasantrin]

I really don't understand why someone would think it's okay to criticize or correct someone else's child when the parents were right there. 

Because it takes a village...

Fact is, many parents don't take steps to discipline or correct a child's behaviour in the presence of others. Many do, but many don't. If a parent were handling his or her child, I would not dare interfere, but if a parent were ignoring the behaviour, despite the obvious discomfort of others, I would likely say something--especially if I were one of those "others."

If the parents won't deal with it, call for the manager. 

Why should a manager be any more qualified to deal with the situation than a patron? Or why should the offending child's parents give any more weight to what the manager?

As I've learned to do in movie theaters with chatters, I ask nicely, "is your little one going to shriek/throw food/cry through dinner? I'd like to change tables now if you plan to allow that to continue." 

Been there, done that. During a performance of the Lion King, a child behind us kicked our chairs throughout the entire first act. At the beginning of the intermission, I asked the parent nicely to please have his child stop kicking our chairs. What did that parent do? He got angry with us. "My child can do whatever he wants." And the child did. At the end of the intermission, my companion stopped being nice and said a more forceful, "Please stop kicking our chairs" directly to the child. The parent was still pissed off, but guess who stopped kicking our chairs?

Sometimes talking to the parents is enough, but sometimes it isn't.

FWIW, I see nothing wrong with talking directly to a child. Children of any age deserve as much respect as an adult does. When you speak to a child directly, you are showing him/her a certain amount of respect. And I don't see that, in most cases, having a stranger talk to your child is such a bad thing. Sure it can be dangerous, but I really do believe that people would be much better behaved, in general, if they had a better sense of community. If people don't talk to each other, how can a community exist? But perhaps that is a cultural thing.

I'm one of those weirdo parents who refused to budge on a few issues, and table manners is one of them.  At any age, at any table. We spent quite a a few dinner hours with one of us outside with the misbehaving kid.  Yeah, we'd taken a 6-month old to a restaurant when he appeared to be sleeping well at a certain time, and when he didn't cooperate, well, we got takeout.  When they were older, I'd call ahead to a restaurant and see about bringing them in at a rather earlier time -- most places were thrilled to be "training grounds" treated my sons like royalty.

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If only all parents could be so rational.

[Mottmott]

Kids will be kids, and even some who are normally well-behaved will have a bad day where they are tired and acting out. This does not bother me, as long as the parents attempt to alleviate the problem.

My two biggest pet peeves when dining at nice retaurants are (1) parents who completely tune out the child and just go on with their meal as though the screaming child was not even there, and (2) parents who make idle threats such as "If you don't stop, we'll leave" and then don't. (And if the child wants to leave, that threat isn't going to work regardless.)

To me, the parents -- not the other patrons -- are the ones who should be inconvenienced by taking the child out to walk around or packing their meal up and heading home. I know that walking around won't always work, and packing up a meal isn't always possible, but to me as long as the parents are making a good faith effort to be considerate to other diners, the situation is tolerable.

Additionally, I think patrons have the right to expect adults to make reasonable efforts to reduce the inconvenience other other situations, such as by taking cell phone calls away from their tables and controlling drunk companions.

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Totally. And what really puzzles me?

Why anyone wants to dine out with their own misbehavin' kids. Isn't the point of going out to have a good time?

Or why anyone wants others to hear one's private conversations. I take my cell calls away from others' ears to protect my privacy as much as to spare them.

[FabulousFoodBabe]

Why should a manager be any more qualified to deal with the situation than a patron?  Or why should the offending child's parents give any more weight to what the manager?

Because it's the manager's job to take care of it, when one diner is making another uncomfortable by behavior that can be controlled.

FWIW, I see nothing wrong with talking directly to a child.  Children of any age deserve as much respect as an adult does.  When you speak to a child directly, you are showing him/her a certain amount of respect. ...

Yeah, sure, respect them but recognize that they are not independent adult human beings operating on their own. This is extremely off topic, but I'm guessing that you don't have kids. Criticizing a child in front of his parents completely ignores that they are a family unit. If you are in a closed setting, I agree it's harder to deal with it. But in a closed setting, well, that's why God gave us better tables and seats, comps, and managers to hand 'em over. You bet I've invoked this before! It's not the kids' fault they are poorly behaved. It's the parents'. If no one makes the parents change their behavior, well, the kids won't either.

[FabulousFoodBabe]

Additionally, I think patrons have the right to expect adults to make reasonable efforts to reduce the inconvenience other other situations, such as by taking cell phone calls away from their tables and controlling drunk companions.

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Ack! We had dinner with some business people not too long ago -- at Bouley, no less, in the little red room. The husband gets a call on his cell phone and instead of walking 15 feet to the front door to talk ... he starts yakking on it at the table. He tried to be quiet, but it really was uncomfortable. Then the wife says, "well, get ready for another call, because Junior is on spring break and will call us when he gets to his destination ..." I leaned over to her and said, "put your phone on vibrate and step into the bar when he calls, okay? the Maitre d' here is notorious for humiliating people who violate the cell phone rule."

I really think some people were raised by wolves.

[windydaze]

I can't help but wonder if a lot of this is just a shift in perception about eating out in restaurants.

When I was growing up, eating out was a special event where I had to get dressed up and use my best manners. We didn't have a lot of money so we weren't going to high end places but they were nice enough so that my sister and I had to use cloth napkins, sit up straight, and keep our elbows off the table. If we misbehaved, it was a trip to the bathroom and a swat on the rear.

Nowadays, eating out seems to be more of an everyday occurance. Mom or Dad doesn't feel like cooking so the whole family goes out to eat. And they seem more likely to go to places that they (not their kids) enjoy eating at, especially if they are going out two or three times a week to eat. I find that my husband and I go out to eat a lot more than we used to, simply because we are too tired to cook. Sometimes we wind up at KFC or Pok-e-Joe's. Other times, we (usually me) are in the mood for a little bit better food and will go to a nicer restaurant. I have noticed that since we have started doing a little better financially, the "special" restaurants don't seem as special anymore because we can go to them at any time now, not just for special events.

I guess what I am trying to get at is that eating out at nice restaurants does not seem like an Event anymore. It has become more of a commodity. A way to get fed, not an event to savor and share.

[jennahan]

Frm a reasonable perspective without any sort of biases contributing to policies:

1) restaurants should have to right to dissallow kids

2) if they do not have a policy, it should be the right of diners to bring children

3) if kids act up in an unreasonable way, restaurants should be allowed to ask the family to leave.

Beyond this, it is up to the parents to judge whether or not their kids can handle the experience.

Browsing the 14+ pages of this thread, it struck me that the disagreements are based on whether people think parents are capable of making this judgement. The tricky thing is that, much as we'd all like to dictate how parents should raise their kids, we can't. Discussing parenting styles is kind of like talking about peoples religions or political beliefs...everyone thinks they are right and those who don't agree are deluded/missing the point.

My defense of allowing kids into nice restaurants is flawed in that it is based on my biases. I have probably been the cause of ruining several eGulleters dinners in the past by the mere presence a pram parked next to my table at a nice restaurant in New York or, very rarely, London. Why was Baby was there? In NYC, I find it unreasonable (on the babysitter, that is) to shell out $100 for him/her to sit in a dark hotel room for 3 hours (baby has been on a schedule from birth, and is like clockwork - slept 7pm to 7am since he was 3 months old and irrespective of time zone). In London, it would only be at lunch and usually because I was out earlier with Baby (Again, his schedule has him sleeping from noon to 2pm. ) For the evening, I feed him as normal at 5, bath him, and put him in his pram (which fully reclines) with teddy and blanket. At nice restaurants, the dim lights and quiet atmosphere ensure that he remains sleeping (never wakes up except when we push the pram to leave). Actually, it has only been in more casual places that he gets disturbed (noise or bright lights). He is only 20 months, and I will stop bringing him once he stays up later, quits his midday nap, or is more aware.

On another note, I do take Baby out to lunch occasionally. There are never the "family" restaurants mentioned (along the lines of ChiChis, Fridays, McDonalds, Olive Garden, Pizza Huts), nor are they temples of Haute Cuisine...they are your moderate to nice, good quality restaurants (Lupa, Artisanal, Balthazar, etc). First, I personally find the food revolting at the chains. I cook 80% of Baby's, and only use quality ingredients and don't dumb down recipies. I want Baby to grow up knowing how food is supposed to taste like, and to experience the world of flavors which is available. Going out for a meal IS special, and why should food one has outside the home be of worse quality than chez vous, and in an atmosphere more suitable to a circus than having a meal? I usually order one meal, and we share. And no, I don't order fish fingers, burgers, fries, chicken nuggets or the like. He loves osso bucco, polenta, veg sushi rolls, galettes, parmesan cheese (eats hunks of it!), and I love watching him eat (isn't part of the joy of food sharing it and giving pleasure to others?). He handles himself pretty well at restaurants (so far), but maybe because he's used to them by now, and I know how to avoid his tantrum triggers. If he makes a mess, I clean it up (always bring tons of wipes and an extra bag). If he were to get upset, I would get the bill and leave. If he was a PITA, I wouldn't bring him. Again, just parental judgement.

No, he isn't ready for the tasting menu at Per Se, and probably won't be for many years. But, i assure you, I will take him when he is ready, and I'll probably enjoy the experience of him eating more than he will.

[elfin]

We have two girls-3 and 2 years old. Since they are in daycare all week the weekends are spent with them. We like to dine out at cheap hole- in -the- wall ethnic places and we take them along. They have eaten (or picked at) just about every cuisine. We justify our actions by believing that we are exposing them to various foods and cuisines and that eating at the wacky vacation destinations overseas will be easier. Even though the places are not fancy or expensive, we still (try to)teach them how to behave well in a restaurant. It is a tremendous undertaking and frankly some meals have not been enjoyable. -(Can we just get through ONE meal without spilling a water or dropping several utensils?) We never seek out a prime spot to sit-infact I like to sit near the kitchen to observe what food comes out the door-and I am never insulted when fellow diners see a family table and want to be seated elsewhere(I usually laugh and ask them if I can sit at their table!). We eat early with the blue hairs and typically turn a table very fast. I also remove or slide away table items such as sugar packets, decorations and steak knives from harms way. I however can not predict with any amount of certainty how my children will act (or act up) to take them to a uber fancy restaurant and will avoid that scene (if possible) until they are ready.

[daniellewiley]

I have a funny kids in a restaurant anecdote from last night. This would also qualify for any "embarrassing moments in a restaurant" thread that we might have on eGullet.

We went to a new Irish restaurant at the mall. It literally opened about a week ago. I normally won't go to a restaurant that new, but it's been over 90 degrees for so long, and we were excited that a new option was available (our kitchen has no A/C and I am 9 months pregnant, so I just refuse to cook in this heat).

Anyway, my 3.5 year old goes to Montessori, and has been using real drinking glasses for well over a year. She gets very upset when given a kid's cup at a restaurant and refuses to drink from one. I usually circumvent this by requesting that her drink be served in the same type of glass that I will be getting. Last night I forgot to specify, and the waitress brought over a plastic kid's cup. Dylan freaked out, of course, and I requested an empty water glass.

The waitress looked at me like I was nuts and said, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, please."

"They're really heavy, you know."

"Yes, that's fine. I'm her mother."

As she walked away, I told my husband that I felt kind of guilty for being so snippy, but he agreed that she was more than annoying.

We got the big glass, and within 1 minute, Dylan proceeds to spill almost the entire thing. I was so mortified!!

Of course, she would have spilled the kid's cup too, given her wild behavior last night, and the glass didn't break, so it wasn't a disaster - just embarrassing for me.

Ah... the joys of dining out with children.

Tonight we are having salad in our hot kitchen - I think we need a restaurant break!!

[Irishgirl]

I can't help but wonder if a lot of this is just a shift in perception about eating out in restaurants.

When I was growing up, eating out was a special event where I had to get dressed up and use my best manners. We didn't have a lot of money so we weren't going to high end places but they were nice enough so that my sister and I had to use cloth napkins, sit up straight, and keep our elbows off the table. If we misbehaved, it was a trip to the bathroom and a swat on the rear.

Nowadays, eating out seems to be more of an everyday occurance. Mom or Dad doesn't feel like cooking so the whole family goes out to eat. And they seem more likely to go to places that they (not their kids) enjoy eating at, especially if they are going out two or three times a week to eat. I find that my husband and I go out to eat a lot more than we used to, simply because we are too tired to cook. Sometimes we wind up at KFC or Pok-e-Joe's. Other times, we (usually me) are in the mood for a little bit better food and will go to a nicer restaurant. I have noticed that since we have started doing a little better financially, the "special" restaurants don't seem as special anymore because we can go to them at any time now, not just for special events.

I guess what I am trying to get at is that eating out at nice restaurants does not seem like an Event anymore. It has become more of a commodity. A way to get fed, not an event to savor and share.

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Whether it is an event or not, children should still be taught how to behave. If we misbehaved as children while we were out and about, we got grounded or deprived of the experience. And the same rules applied at home. If we misbehaved at home, we got sent to our room....and rooms back then did not have their own TV's, Gameboys, computers....etc. that they do now. Children are widely spoilt in these days. Parents have to find more effective ways of punishment.