Most revolting use of condiments

[fifi]

For some dumb reason, red and yellow together is disturbing to me. I don't allow it in my garden.

[=Mark]

For some dumb reason, red and yellow together is disturbing to me. I don't allow it in my garden.

You must take great pains to avoid the eGullet Webzine...

[Exotic Mushroom]

My youngest sister is the most incredibly picky eater. Until she turned ten, she used to demand "[her] recipe" for dinner every single night. (I think that now it's only every other night). Said recipe was a bowl of cottage cheese, three baby carrots, and an ample serving of ketchup, topped with a few generous shakes of Mrs. Dash. I have no idea how she came by this "recipe," since we never even kept three of those four ingredients in the house until she started asking for it.

I'm a mayonaise-phobe, but I've learned to deal with it. It took years, though. When I used to babysit, if kids would ask for maoynaise on sandiwches I would go to great lengths to talk them out of it. I used to actually have to fight back vomit when I got too close, the smell disgusted me so much. I'd make the little brats their sandwiches with one hand pinching my nose.

As far as gross use of condiments, if my sister's "recipe" doesn't top the bill, then I gotta go with Reubens. I think thousand island dressing is just about the most disgusting thing ever (come on - ketchup, mayonaise, and relish all mixed together? Gag me with a spoon!). I can't even process why people would want it slathered on their otherwise inoffensive sandwiches. I do lunch shift at place that has a fairly nice menu, then a bunch of sandwiches for the local business take-out crew at lunch, and I must make at least thirty Reubens a day. and I don't think I've ever made a single one without wanting to vomit when I spread it on the bread.

[kel]

Speaking of Republican presidents, Gerald Ford loves ketchup on cottage cheese.

My lunch nearly made a return visit after reading that.

My dad used to put ketchup on cottage cheese all the time. It made the rest of us sick just looking at it. I don't really like ketchup at all, not even on fries.

I do understand the aioli on fries though. There's a great frite little place in NY that makes tons of different flavors of aioli's - my favorite is the lemon-dill. Which is kinda strange, considering that I am, in fact, a mayonnaise-phobe. I find the stuff truly revolting. I can't even stand the thought of it. In fact, I am getting nauseous as I write. Time to change subjects.

Edited September 1, 2003 by kel (log)

[Mayhaw Man]

Ranch dressing or dip on ANYTHING is an abomination.  The stuff has no flavor, just a nasty aftertaste.  I bought some recently just to see what it was like (never tried it before), and it is disgusting.  Nothing I mix with it covers that awful MSG taste.  This may become the second time in my life that I threw out supposedly edible (= not spoiled) food.

The only other use of condiments that disgusts me is people salting and/or peppering their food before they taste it.

I don't mind the addition of anything to anything as long as I am not the one who prepared it. There is nothing worse than having guests sit dow to a meal that I have made and have someone snatch up the salt (which I use sparingly, but correctly, anyway) and turn his plate into the Great Salt Lake. If they want to mess up somebody elses food.... fine. If they want salt on my food..... fine. Just do me the honor of tasting it first.

I actually like homeade ranch on carrots. I don't like the stuff you buy pre made. Either it is salt or MSG but it leaves your palate coated in goo.

People who put jelly on scrambled egg and bacon sandwiches are more likely to consider a "Velvet Elvis" high art than those who don't (already I regret typing this, I kind of like Velvet Elvis's, but only in the same way I appreciate Dolly Parton's sense of style

[Midwesterner]

My mother made omelets filled with strawberry preserves and sprinkled with confectioner's sugar.

[Pitter]

My grandmother put mayonnaise on her cottage cheese. Not as offensive to look at as ketchup, but yucksters anyway.

[Suzanne F]

My grandmother put mayonnaise on her cottage cheese.  Not as offensive to look at as ketchup, but yucksters anyway.

I beg to differ. Gah.

This might be TODAY's winner.

[Jinmyo]

Gah. Bizarre.

Those omelets sound dreadful too, but that's probably just me.

Mayo and cottage cheese is objectively twisted.

[Rachel Perlow]

Pouring soy sauce onto your bowl of white rice (at Chinese or Japanese restaurants usually). What's up with that?!!? The rice is supposed to be slightly sticky, right? It makes it easier to eat with chopsticks. And the main component of the meal is supposed to flavor the rice. Why would anyone pour soy sauce all over it?

[Suzanne F]

Pouring soy sauce onto your bowl of white rice (at Chinese or Japanese restaurants usually). What's up with that?!!? The rice is supposed to be slightly sticky, right? It makes it easier to eat with chopsticks. And the main component of the meal is supposed to flavor the rice. Why would anyone pour soy sauce all over it?

Probably for the same reason they salt their food without tasting it.

[tommy]

Probably for the same reason they salt their food without tasting it. 

i put pepper on my food without tasting it. does that make you mad at me?

[Rachel Perlow]

Yes. I hate it when the server asks if I would like pepper (pepper grinder hovering at the ready) as they place the plate down in front of me. Let me taste my food first, please!

[MatthewB]

Probably for the same reason they salt their food without tasting it. 

i put pepper on my food without tasting it. does that make you mad at me?

tommy, you don't count. You smoke.

[KateW]

At home, I salt things without tasting them because I made it and I know what it tastes like and if that particular dish needs more salt. I don't just add more salt to the dish because my fiance doesn't like really salty things. But I do.

Which leads me to admit that I put soy sauce on white rice, because I like it that way. In the Japanese restaurants I frequent, I don't think the purpose of the sushi is to flavor the rice. You get your big plate of sushi, which already has plain rice, and a big bowl of plain rice comes with it...what would you suggest I do with it? Order some chicken teriyaki just so I can flavor the rice with something? Nah...I flavor my rice with soy sauce

I also really like couscous with soy sauce on it. The instant couscous.

[Rachel Perlow]

The sushi rice (the stuff under the fish, not the bowl of rice) is already flavored with sugar, vinegar, and salt. You usually aren't served another bowl of plain rice unless something else is ordered too.

[tommy]

The sushi rice (the stuff under the fish, not the bowl of rice) is already flavored with sugar, vinegar, and salt. You usually aren't served another bowl of plain rice unless something else is ordered too.

well, i am, without asking. regardless, if you have a big bowl of rice, a bit of soy seems logical. although if i dip a bit in the soy (which has wasabi as well), and it falls in, all bets are off and i go for more rice. the ration is very important or else it's just a soy-laden mess.

Edited September 2, 2003 by tommy (log)

[bloviatrix]

We went out for brunch with my b-i-l and his family yesterday morning. They asked for ketchup to go with their eggs.

It's taken 24 hours for my stomach to recover from this affront.

[Jinmyo]

Which leads me to admit that I put soy sauce on white rice, because I like it that way.  In the Japanese restaurants I frequent, I don't think the purpose of the sushi is to flavor the rice.    You get your big plate of sushi, which already has plain rice, and a big bowl of plain rice comes with it...what would you suggest I do with it?  Order some chicken teriyaki just so I can flavor the rice with something?  Nah...I flavor my rice with soy sauce 

I also really like couscous with soy sauce on it.  The instant couscous. 

You flavour the rice with the rice. It's rice flavoured.

[fresco]

It now occurs to me that I have seen people order bacon or ham and eggs with pancakes and slather syrup on their pancakes and ketchup on their eggs. The syrup and the ketchup become mingled and it is not pleasant to watch.

[Suzanne F]

Probably for the same reason they salt their food without tasting it. 

i put pepper on my food without tasting it. does that make you mad at me?

tommy, you don't count. You smoke.

Touché!

Seriously though, I don't find peppering before tasting as bad as salting -- although I'm with Rachel on "Let me taste my food first, please!" I do, however, mutter nasty things under my breath before I make that polite statement.

[SobaAddict70]

My officemate, who is Japanese (born and raised in Japan, although she went to Wesleyan for college) says that there's a Japanese word that was recently coined, just for Japanese people who like mayonnaise (she hates the stuff): mayular. Torakris -- this is the closest phonetic spelling in English that I can come up with. Maybe you can help?

Soba

[hjshorter]

It now occurs to me that I have seen people order bacon or ham and eggs with pancakes and slather syrup on their pancakes and ketchup on their eggs. The syrup and the ketchup become mingled and it is not pleasant to watch.

Syrup on eggs.

::shudder::

If I order a breakfast platter, the pancakes or waffle had better be on a seperate plate.

[KNorthrup]

I used to like it when the syrup got on the ham/bacon/sausage, but was careful to keep it away from the eggs.

So it occurs to me that I actually eat scrambled eggs with mayo on a regular basis without fully realizing it and that's a bit disturbing. Specifically, a nearby Italian type sub place has the classic option of eggs, provolone and banana peppers and that has mayo. Does it always, or should it actually be oil & vinegar? This is the West coast so things aren't always traditional.

[elmo]

Rice in the salt shaker