TDG: Desperate Measures: Illegal Food

[Fat Guy]

Mamster thumbs his nose at the USDA goons.

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[Jason Perlow]

Here is a recipe for Salt and Pepper Shrimp.

Please share your recipes with the eGullet Recipe Archive

[Jason Perlow]

yo man, can anyone score me some nice 'Korns?

[IrishCream]

I posted earlier today that I was unable to find Sichuan Peppercorns in Oakland Chinatown last week. Now I know why! What to do?

Many years ago when it was illegal to import "raw", cured hams to the US, I smuggled a whole Schwartzwalder Schinken home wrapped in my dirty laundry. I still dream about that ham.

Edited April 2, 2003 by IrishCream (log)

[jackal10]

ALice B Toklas's fudge?

"This is the food of paradise - of Baudelaire's Artificial Paradises: it might provide an entertaining refreshment for a Ladies' Bridge Club or a chapter meeting of the DAR [Daughters of the American Revolution, a notoriously conservative sorority]. In Morocco it is thought to be good for warding off the common cold in damp winter weather and is, indeed, more effective if taken with large quantities of hot mint tea. Euphoria and brilliant storms of laughter; ecstatic reveries and extensions of one's personality on several simultaneous planes are to be complacently expected. Almost anything Saint Theresa did, you can do better if you can bear to be ravished by un evanouissement reveille [a sense of fainting while awake]."

[IrishCream]

ALice B Toklas's fudge?

Poor Alice.....She had no idea!

[jackal10]

More seriously, until recently beef on the bone was illegal because of supposed possible contamination from mad cow prions. Similarly oxtail. Many butchers continued to sell it, however (you asked for "special sausages") and eventually sense prevailed.

Then there is the tale of Henry Eddington and the excellent Lanark Blue cheese. Health inspectors arbitarily condiscated it on suspicion of contamination with Lysteria, and shut down not only his business, but also the cheesemongers who had purchased and stored it. Court cases followed, and Mr Errington was vindicated, but alas, delays in payment and the general hassle meant that the businesses, I believe, never recovered. A sad example of the power of faceless beurocrats of the state.

No doubt now anyone purchasing middle eastern food, or flatbreads, will be subject to state scrutiny, such as that of the the Total Information Awareness Program run by John Poindexter of the CIA. Brave New World, here we come.

[s'kat]

Mamster, you bad, bad man!

That said, I'm pretty sure we have a local, thriving black market for such things. Must investigate this.

[mamster]

Ham smuggling is certainly one of the highest forms.

So, those of you in dire need of Sichuan peppercorns, you can have them, but you can't necessarily have good ones. The quality varies a lot. Last time I was at Grand Sichuan International Midtown, they were still using them and they were still good, but I'd be surprised if they were willing to squeal on their supplier.

[jhlurie]

So, those of you in dire need of Sichuan peppercorns, you can have them, but you can't necessarily have good ones.  The quality varies a lot.

Well, that's the rub, isn't it? It took me about 33 years to eat a decent Sichuan peppercorn and I was only able to enjoy them for about six months before the Feds laid the smackdown on them. I'd probably had 'corns of lesser quality dozens of times before that (inside of a 5-spice mixture), but the first time you have a fresh one you REALLY notice the difference. We had a nice long discussion of this last year.

Edited April 2, 2003 by Jason Perlow (log)

[fifi]

I, too, have been on the hunt for Sichuan peppercorns. This thread explains a lot. Why don't they just irradiate the damn things (like other spices are treated) and just let them in?

[jeniac42]

Yes, let's all support Students for an Orwellian Society.

Actually, the only foodstuffs I've ever brought into the country have been fully legal, to my knowledge. Cornichons and chocolates. How does one go about sneaking something in, and what happens if one is caught?

[IrishCream]

How does one go about sneaking something in, and what happens if one is caught?

Typically, as long as it's not "really" illegal, like drugs, they just confiscate it if they happen to search your luggage. But twice, when I told the customs agents I was smuggling something, they let me keep it (Cuban cigars from Canada and plumeria cuttings from Hawaii).

[fimbul]

But twice, when I told the customs agents I was smuggling something, they let me keep it

Er... Is it really smuggling if you tell the authorities what you're doing?

[Bond Girl]

I once smuggled a whole box of mangosteens back from Indonesia, and told the customes at JFK that it was chinese herbal medicine. God, I missed those damn fruits.