I will never again . . . (Part 2)

[naguere]

Preparing a beef stew, take a bag of stock from the freeser, to realise as it come to the boil it is actually fish stock. (a quick rince under the tap and a stock cube resolved the situation)

[Enzian]

I never had bread pudding, before, but a friend brought a tray of his Mom's beloved recipe to my place for a Bachelor's Thanksgiving. Much drinking and Ken Griffey Jr. baseball later and the guests leave and I crash. I wake up and see the tray of bread pudding on the counter. I eat it.

Three days of agony. Lying on the couch too ill to watch TV because it would make me dizzy and sick. Shaking, sweating, freezing. Bi-directional vomitting. Complete and total incapacitance.

I don't get it. Why would bread pudding do that. Was it rotten?

If my poopie stories can prevent just one accident, then my mission is complete.

I think Skat said it best when s/he said, "Dude. ".

Edited June 17, 2004 by Enzian (log)

[Andrew Fenton]

I never had bread pudding, before, but a friend brought a tray of his Mom's beloved recipe to my place for a Bachelor's Thanksgiving. Much drinking and Ken Griffey Jr. baseball later and the guests leave and I crash. I wake up and see the tray of bread pudding on the counter. I eat it.

Three days of agony. Lying on the couch too ill to watch TV because it would make me dizzy and sick. Shaking, sweating, freezing. Bi-directional vomitting. Complete and total incapacitance.

I don't get it. Why would bread pudding do that. Was it rotten?

Andrew, have you ever made bread pudding? Eggs, milk, bread -- the devil's playground, especially if left out on the counter, unrefrigerated, overnight.

Oh yeah; left out overnight. Wasn't paying attention. That'd do it, wouldn't it? D'oh!

Well, here's my own story. I made a peach cobbler for dessert tonight. Recipe? Who needs it; I've made it dozens of times. Got it out of the oven, nice and bubbling: not quite as browned as it could be, but what the heck. I decide to take a li'l nibble of the cobbler, just to make sure it wasn't poisoned...

Forgot to add butter to the biscuit dough. Yeah, those cobbles could, in fact, be used to pave the street outside my apartment...

[RSincere]

I will never again...

Buy fresh sausage with chunks of apple in it from the butcher, leave it in a plastic bag in my fridge for a week, then cook and (attempt to) eat it.

Take a Jennie-O turkey roast out of my chest freezer in the garage, set it on a shelf as I put the rest of the stuff back in the freezer, and then leave it on the shelf, in the middle of summer. Four days later..."What died in here?"

Eat large amounts of raw broccoli and cauliflower...30 minutes later, I had myself convinced I was having a heart attack, and was debating going to the hospital. As to what was truly ailing me, you'll have to use your imagination. I didn't know.

[Andrew Fenton]

Take a Jennie-O turkey roast out of my chest freezer in the garage, set it on a shelf as I put the rest of the stuff back in the freezer, and then leave it on the shelf, in the middle of summer. Four days later..."What died in here?"

Oh, that is a good one. Can't beat the rottin' meat!

[sparrowgrass]

Take a Jennie-O turkey roast out of my chest freezer in the garage, set it on a shelf as I put the rest of the stuff back in the freezer, and then leave it on the shelf, in the middle of summer.  Four days later..."What died in here?" 

I am emailing this to my mom--she thought she was the only one to do that!!

[Marlene]

I will never again rub my eyes right after chopping an onion. Especially with my contact lenses in

[EGQuan]

Make rice pudding with salt instead of sugar...

As a student, newly moved to rural Japan, I wanted something homey. Rice was readily available, and I went shopping to buy some sugar. White grains in a clear bag = sugar to me, but I was so dazed I think I failed to notice the pictures of fish and vegetables on the bag, which would have been a clue.

Imagine a love pot of rice pudding that as it simmers, begins to smell more and more like play-dough. Imagine a recipe that includes 1/3c of salt. Imagine the dismay of my housemates who had been anticipating a taste, when they saw me dump it all in the trash.

[Roejimmy]

Flame Marsala while cooking for 12 in an unfamiliar kitchen with a very greasy dirty filter on the fan...fighting fires on two fronts, whipping everything off the stove to save dinner, trying not to spill flaming marsala wine as I pulled it back from the stove, and then trying to fight the fire in the overhead fan as it worked its way up fifteen years of uncleaned grease...

pissed off the landlord (BIG TIME) but saved the dinner....

Touch my eyes after working with habanero peppers...

touch my (Down there) after working with habanero peppers... They say you should wash your hands after you use the restroom, I strongly advise a good washing before, as well...

[NeroW]

touch my (Down there) after working with habanero peppers... They say you should wash your hands after you use the restroom, I strongly advise a good washing before, as well...

Gloves, dude. Gloves.

[michaeldauphinais]

I will never again eat dried apricots as if they were a snack food, i.e., "betcha can't eat just one, or four, or twelve...." Suffice it to say, I nearly ate the Whole Damned Bag, which the FDA folks likely said contained about 8 or so servings.

I performed said feat of gastronomic intelligence while hiking in Northern AZ a few years back, and complimented the gut-busting snack with a generous portion of trail mix (translation: lots more dried fruit and fiber). After the hike, I enjoyed a larger than life "Greek" salad at a diner. My party and I then piled in the car to make our way back home, a 2.5 hour drive. Within 20 minutes I began to feel the pangs of "dude, that salad dressing didn't agree with me." Not long after that, the sensations quickly evolved from bearable discomfort to "PULL OVER AS SOON AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE". To this day, I still can't drive past this same rest stop without thinking of the stupidity that I exhibited that day.

[NeroW]

To this day, I still can't drive past this same rest stop without thinking of the stupidity that I exhibited that day.

That's a good one!

[browniebaker]

I will never again make my slightly lactose-intolerant husband drink more than a cup of milk to help finish up the milk the night before a long trip -- and then go to watch a movie in a theater. He missed the first several action-packed minutes of Saving Private Ryan depicting the D-Day invasion. Oops. Sorry!

This was before I learned that you could freeze milk and use it later in cooking.

[Stone]

Move from a large, open kitchen in San Francsico to a tiny galley kitchen in Manhattan.

[Kevin72]

Leave my digital probe thermometer out in the rain.

"Soak" the probe tip of a digital thermometer in water to get rid of some caked on food. If any water goes above the end of the probe towards the wire, it's curtains.

I'm currently on my fourth digital probe thermometer in 2 years. How does Alton do it?

[Chris Amirault]

While roasting goose long, long ago...

(1) simmer giblet stock in pot A on one gas burner;

(2) use a baster to suck up the clear rendered goose fat and gently squirt it into pot B, kept warm on another gas burner;

(3) think, "Why waste two pots and two burners?";

(4) pour contents of pot A into pot B, thus creating a bubbling cauldron of goose fat that roils over the sides, hits the gas flame, ignites, shoots flaming up to the ceiling, and bursts, coating the entire kitchen (and three terrified on-lookers) in poultry grease.

[dougery]

Water my plants with left over deepfry oil.

[JPW]

Leave my digital probe thermometer out in the rain.

"Soak" the probe tip of a digital thermometer in water to get rid of some caked on food. If any water goes above the end of the probe towards the wire, it's curtains.

I'm currently on my fourth digital probe thermometer in 2 years. How does Alton do it?

He uses a new one each time!

But seriously, I've gone through 3 probes over the same 2 years, so I feel your pain. You can get the replacement probes for $10, cheaper than a new unit.

I broke one through getting it wet, but think I fried the nother by haveing it in a too hot oven. THey suggest an upper limit of 200 C/392 F.

[chefs13]

I once roasted a chicken forgetting to pluck it first...

Now I've read it all. How in the world did that happen? Did you just come from laser surgery? Wait even if you did couldn't you feel the feathers. You don't have a cat do you?

[Kevin72]

Leave my digital probe thermometer out in the rain.

"Soak" the probe tip of a digital thermometer in water to get rid of some caked on food.  If any water goes above the end of the probe towards the wire, it's curtains.

I'm currently on my fourth digital probe thermometer in 2 years.  How does Alton do it?

He uses a new one each time!

But seriously, I've gone through 3 probes over the same 2 years, so I feel your pain. You can get the replacement probes for $10, cheaper than a new unit.

I broke one through getting it wet, but think I fried the nother by haveing it in a too hot oven. THey suggest an upper limit of 200 C/392 F.

I've lost track of how each thermometer met its demise. I know one was in too hot an oven, which to me was perplexing since it had "food" sensor and a separate "oven" sensor. I did replace once of the probes free of charge but then ruined the base by leaving the whole thing in the rain. One also went haywire when I used it to measure frying oil temp and it got too hot (400+)

Now my newest has two units, the actual probe is attached to a simple thermal readout and then you have a "remote" unit that it broadcasts to. Which of course just means I've doubled the chances for screwing it up.

[Kevin72]

One other one:

Was making a beef braised in red wine dish and I was going to sear the meat off in bacon fat.

So I'm holding the meat on one end with tongs and I have my other hand cupped under the meat to transfer it into the pot. Just as I'm getting it over the pot it slips out of the tongs, tumbles into the bacon grease and sends most of it flying up . . . to land very nicely in my still-cupped hand.

Probably one of the worst pains of my life, I actually was in tears and had to have my wife do alot of the rest of the cooking that day (it was for a dinner party, natch). Meanwhile I developed a huge blister than covered my entire palm.

[dougery]

Your story reminds me of when I used to work at a buffet back in highschool. It was a busy weekend, and we were short staffed in the kitchen. Our GM was not the most well liked guy to say the least. He was trying to help us out (he rarely helped in the kitchen) at the deep fryer. Oil level was getting a little low so he thought he would be proactive and refill it.

We had these huge 50lb blocks of lard that we put into the fryers (I think you know where I'm going with this). He decided to just drop the whole thing in (actually drop), needless to say, the fryer overflowed and also splashed everywhere, but mostly on the front of his pants. He immediately dropped his pants and underwear in the middle of the kitchen at which time the all of the servers (mostly women) came running in due to the screaming.

It was quite the site to say the least. Our GM hopping around around with his pants around his ankles and the entire service team standing around in shock.

The GM went to the hospital and ended up with some scars but a full recovery otherwise. I think in the end he ended up more emotionally scarred from the smiles and giggling he got from the wait staff for the coming years.

[bergerka]

I will never again eat dried apricots as if they were a snack food, i.e., "betcha can't eat just one, or four, or twelve...." Suffice it to say, I nearly ate the Whole Damned Bag, which the FDA folks likely said contained about 8 or so servings.

*double take* MICHAEL! You're HERE!

And you're not alone. Sam STILL laughs out loud about the time I absentmindedly ate the entire box of dried apricots (well...I mean...they're good). Several hours later, I was on the phone with Dr. Dad, trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with my stomach.

Dad: What have you eaten today?

Me: Um...let's see...waffles for breakfast and a cup of coffee...some dried apricots...

Dad: How many dried apricots? A few?

Me: Um...a whole box?

Dad: *dissolving into hysterical laughter*

That's the second time that BOTH Dad and Sam have laughed at me like that. The first time was when I had to call dad to find out how to boil an egg (no, I'm not kidding) because Sam was laughing too hard to explain it.

K

[NulloModo]

I will never again....

Absentmindedly pull out my chef's knife to cut off a wedge of queso blanco, and then place my hand on top and apply downward preassure to cut through the cheese without first checking to make sure my roomate didn't put the knife back into the slot backwards, as to leave the sharp edge up when I pull it out normally...

[CheGuevara]

I will never again....

Absentmindedly pull out my chef's knife to cut off a wedge of queso blanco, and then place my hand on top and apply downward preassure to cut through the cheese without first checking to make sure my roomate didn't put the knife back into the slot backwards, as to leave the sharp edge up when I pull it out normally...

you must have one evenely weighted chef's knife! ;)

-che