Dish Names That Make You Run in the Opposite Direction

[Mjx]

Jenni, carob indicates an attempt to provide ersatz ingredients, and that is a bad, bad sign.

Carob isn't bad on its own – I've actually enjoyed eating the pods – but I really resent efforts to treat it as a viable substitute for chocolate. My parents went on a health foods jag when I was a kid, and that was it for chocolate. Until you've had whole wheat, carob angel food cake lovingly presented to you as a treat, you just don't know the meaning of brutal irony (seriously: when I was about eleven, and my parents' health fit was at fever pitch, I read the The Story of O – you can't let a geeky kid loose in a library and not get hilarious results – and I was all 'Yeh, whatever...').

[Mjx]

Incidentally, in there is a tea/pastry (?) shop connected to the DKNY shop on West Broadway that I will probably never enter, because of its unfortunate name: Tisserie. I have a hunch this is intended as a derivation of 'tisane', or a cutesy shortening of 'patisserie', but in Danish, 'tisse' means 'pee'. I just find that too gruesomely hilarious to make it possible for me to even enter the door (wasn't it once standard practice to check would-be foreign words intended as names for any possibly awkward significance?). The first time I saw this, my jaw just dropped. Then, I reached for my camera... I know a LOT of people in Denmark.

[Jenni]

I would agree with MJX on this - just because it has been appropriated for use as a chocolate substitute doesn't mean it is necessarily bad. I know it's used in the middle east and egypt to make drinks, and probably other things. I had an egyptian drink made from carob once, I seem to remember liking it.

It is an ingredient in it's own right, away from the chocolate substitution thing. Surely a good chef might utilise it in an interesting way and it might be a really nice dish?

[ambra]

"Tuscan ____________"

It's rarely ever Tuscan in origin.

[Chris Amirault]

It is an ingredient in it's own right, away from the chocolate substitution thing. Surely a good chef might utilise it in an interesting way and it might be a really nice dish?

Sure. It's possible. Anything's possible. But if I see the word "carob" on a menu, I'm not ordering that item for all the reasons above.

Tuscan: good one, ambra! Though sometimes people call cavolo nero "Tuscan kale" because they don't want to explain what "cavolo nero" means.

[Jenni]

^^^

Fair enough. I wasn't trying to nit-pick, I was just interested. Don't want you to miss out on anything

[Chris Amirault]

Heck, me either! Just in case I'm terribly wrong, I started this topic.

[Mjx]

. . . . sometimes people call cavolo nero "Tuscan kale" because they don't want to explain what "cavolo nero" means.

I'm confused about not wanting to explain what it is, which is what I believe is known as 'curly kale' in English... is that something that has sort of coarsely amusing associations for many, like prunes (which the industry has taken to calling 'dried plums'), or..?

[Chris Amirault]

When you work in a restaurant, one of the things that you have to negotiate is the chain of communication from the top -- corporate or chef -- down to the customer, and you want to remove as many obstacles to miscommunication as possible. One of those obstacles is the explanation of what something on the menu is. I've heard (now departed) servers at the restaurant where I bartend explain that "guh-nocky" are "like potato puffs except chewy," for example -- not exactly what you want customers to understand about your gnocchi.

[Mjx]

I thought about this for just a few moments, and already my mind is boggling at the possibilities. Good point.

[David A. Goldfarb]

Last night at Corton we had a dish called "Maine Lobster," and another one called "Pheasant," both of which were served many ways, but they weren't called "X, Y ways," nor was that fact indicated on the menu. My sense was that they wanted the presentation to be surprising and not to create expectations or to invite immediate comparisons to another restaurant before the food was even served.

[Crouton]

Foams... Take a beautiful dish and spit on it. Well that's what it looks like.

[gfweb]

Exactly my position. Foams look gross and are a silly fad IMHO.

Sent from my Droid using Tapatalk

[sparrowgrass]

I was going to say foam, but I was afraid someone would think I was a hick from Missouri. (Wait, I am a hick from Missouri. )

I once saw a picture of something with yellow foam on it, with a couple of long pieces of chive artfully arranged in the foam. My dogs have made things that look like that!

[xxchef]

"Half Baked Chicken".

The phrase should presumptively be "Baked Half Chicken" unless it's being sold for finish cooking at home.

[ruthcooks]

"with au jus"

Denotes utter ignorance, I wouldn't touch their food.

[phatj]

I have been guilty of the "X Y Ways" thing, though just as a shorthand - Duck Soup, Duck Leg Confit Potstickers, and Seared Duck Breast over Greens being rather unwieldy as a menu title. I vaguely knew that the concept wasn't original but was pretty much ignorant of anyone else who had done a similar menu.

I love the "with au jus" comment - that phrase makes my skin crawl.

The term "boiled" doesn't conjure up happy images for me. I know very well that many delicious things are in fact boiled, but the word looks bad on a menu.

[BeeZee]

"with au jus"

Denotes utter ignorance, I wouldn't touch their food.

Huge pet peeve of mine.

Sets my teeth on edge when I see a description "...to perfection" (ie, "roasted to perfection").

[andiesenji]

. . . . sometimes people call cavolo nero "Tuscan kale" because they don't want to explain what "cavolo nero" means.

I'm confused about not wanting to explain what it is, which is what I believe is known as 'curly kale' in English... is that something that has sort of coarsely amusing associations for many, like prunes (which the industry has taken to calling 'dried plums'), or..?

A local restaurant that used to have it on the menu as "Braised Tuscan Kale" now has the same dish on the menu as "Braised Dinosaur Kale" - same plant, same dish as Braised Cavolo Nero.

The only difference is that the restaurant, previously only open in the evening for dinner, now opens at 2 p.m. with specials for "families with children" and seniors, all with discounted prices.

I haven't been there lately, but have had the same report from two different friends.

Edited January 23, 2011 by andiesenji (log)

[gfweb]

Ever notice how many TV chefs refer to "the au jus"? And not just the ones on Guy Fieri's show, some Top Chef types including a judge or two if memory serves.

[pastrygirl]

Vegan.

Especially with things that would already be vegan. Case in point: at the farmers market today, a woman had a booth selling kimchee. I like kimchee, had just had bi bim bap for breakfast and wished the kimchee had been stronger (it was a quick pickle, not long buried type). I may have been interested in this woman's product if not for the huge banner promoting it as vegan! probiotic! etc! Is it delicious, pickly and spicy or not? Vegans can presumably read labels and ask questions on their own, pretending that something being vegan makes it better/healthier is silly.

[Chris Amirault]

I wouldn't buy vegan kimchi, myself, but that probably means that they're not using those salted shrimp, right?

[pastrygirl]

I wouldn't buy vegan kimchi, myself, but that probably means that they're not using those salted shrimp, right?

I realize that not all kimchi is necessarily meat free, it's more the assumption that everyone should care whether something is vegan that bothers me. Buy my apples, they're vegan! I mean really, how much of the population, even a liberal urban population is vegan? 5%? 2%? And the rest of us are supposed to be swayed?

[Chris Amirault]

Agreed on vegan in general. However, vegan kimchi seems useful for people who avoid dead animals.

[ChrisTaylor]

'<sauce name> with your choice of pasta: spaghetti, fettuccine, tortellini, ravioli, gnocchi.'

A sure indicator of utility-grade 'Italian' food prepared by people who don't give a shit.

Too, a menu with 150+ dishes.

Oh. And 'fish'. As in 'fish fillet' as opposed to 'trout' or 'salmon' or 'snapper' or something specific. When it's just fish, unless they've obviously got some sort of 'we buy whatever looks good in the market--ask us what we have today' setup it's an indicator of cheapness/nastiness.

Edited January 24, 2011 by ChrisTaylor (log)