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The wonderful world of late-night TV cookware ads


Fat Guy

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Has anyone seen The perfect lids? Yet another product to save civilization.

Actually, it is the adjustable spatula that cracks me up.

Linda LaRose aka "fifi"

"Having spent most of my life searching for truth in the excitement of science, I am now in search of the perfectly seared foie gras without any sweet glop." Linda LaRose

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I didn't see this late at night, but this has got to be about the stupidist thing I have seen in a while.

$50 to unscrew a jar lid?

I really have room on my counter for this thing. Oops, I didn't notice that it "stores easily". :blink:

Linda LaRose aka "fifi"

"Having spent most of my life searching for truth in the excitement of science, I am now in search of the perfectly seared foie gras without any sweet glop." Linda LaRose

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I didn't see this late at night, but this has got to be about the stupidist thing I have seen in a while.

$50 to unscrew a jar lid?

I really have room on my counter for this thing. Oops, I didn't notice that it "stores easily". :blink:

this might be good for older people or people with disabilities. however, if that's the case, i'd say they're gouging older people or people with disabilities.

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In the early 90's, when you couldn't bring coolers into see outdoor punk rock shows anymore we used to use the seal-a-meal to enclose vodka. We would make them into little packets shaped just like breast implants and stuff them into our bras, then tear them open with our teeth and pour them into plastic cups. It worked with wine too, but you needed a lot of girls. If you only had a couple of girls, vodka provided more alcohol per person.

over it

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In the early 90's, when you couldn't bring coolers into see outdoor punk rock shows anymore we used to use the seal-a-meal to enclose vodka. We would make them into little packets shaped just like breast implants and stuff them into our bras, then tear them open with our teeth and pour them into plastic cups. It worked with wine too, but you needed a lot of girls. If you only had a couple of girls, vodka provided more alcohol per person.

that's the funniest, and best, idea i've heard in a while. :laugh:

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The absolute best thing I bought was the Wonder Mop. This thing was sold in infomerical many years ago, but now it's a common thing that you can find in supermarket. The mop head can last and last and it cleans my floor when no swifter can.

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Has anyone brought up anything about that chef boyardee lookin dude hawkin the knives? He takes one of those things and starts sawing away at a brick, a steel pipe, the Hope Diamond, and then it effortlessly cuts through a tomato. There is the obligatory, "wait, there's more...", lifetime guarantee, and big build up for the final price. I think it comes to $0.39 plus $40 shipping and handling.

What gives with those knives? I don't even want to think of what would happen to one of my Henckels if I abused it like that. How can the knife keep an edge? :blink:

peak performance is predicated on proper pan preparation...

-- A.B.

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What gives with those knives? I don't even want to think of what would happen to one of my Henckels if I abused it like that. How can the knife keep an edge?  :blink:

i think they're serrated, and therefore not sharpenable. so when they dull, they'll send you more. for another 40 bucks in shipping and handling no doubt.

we've discussed him somewhere before. a few of us are in agreement that if anything, the dude is pretty good with a knife. :smile:

Edited by tommy (log)
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I've had fair luck with the Foreman Grill. It will take a frozen hunk of chicken and make it edible in 10 minutes, and it does a killer grilled cheese. Although I think I lost the little grease trap tray that goes under the front of the thing before I even opened the box.

The new Nathan's Hot Dog Grill (yes, really) does the same thing as the old DefrostAMatic, evidently.

I've always been intrigued by the seal A Meal and the Rotissierie thing. Although, one major thing about the rotisserie commercial always bothered me. It used as much electricity as a hair dryer. That's anywhere from 1200 to 1800 watts. If you set it and forget it for 2 and a half hours, you might as well heat up the oven.

And Jamie Oliver has endorsed a T Fal line, with the red dot that lets you know when the pan gets hot. The commercial is a hoot, as he festoons the walls and ceiling of the kitchen with parsley and olive oil, massacres a bushel of vegetables, does the 80's metal drummer moves with the various untensils, and manages to get footprints on the oven door.

Screw it. It's a Butterball.
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I just saw a new one from the red headed lady: Grip n Flip

Actually, that Dip n Strain looks pretty interesting.

Linda LaRose aka "fifi"

"Having spent most of my life searching for truth in the excitement of science, I am now in search of the perfectly seared foie gras without any sweet glop." Linda LaRose

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This has been an interesting thread, but no one has mentioned my all time favorite, the Bassomatic.

Jim

MMMM......that's great bass! :biggrin:

Brooks Hamaker, aka "Mayhaw Man"

There's a train everyday, leaving either way...

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In the early 90's, when you couldn't bring coolers into see outdoor punk rock shows anymore we used to use the seal-a-meal to enclose vodka. We would make them into little packets shaped just like breast implants and stuff them into our bras, then tear them open with our teeth and pour them into plastic cups. It worked with wine too, but you needed a lot of girls. If you only had a couple of girls, vodka provided more alcohol per person.

that's the funniest, and best, idea i've heard in a while. :laugh:

I had a roommate in college whose father had a medical supply place. The guy was sort of a genius when it came to making sure he was never in a situation where he was stuck without a soothing beverage.

One of the best things he ever came up with was a way to get liquor into football and basketball games. He supplied all of us with strap-on catheter bags that go around your leg and have this little tube with a clamp on it. Talk about impressing your date! "Excuse me honey, would you care for a cocktail?". I don't know what those girls were expecting, but I promise seeing someone unzip and pull out a small plastic tube and insert it into a drink cup while squeezing their thigh was not it. :biggrin:

I miss being completely irresponsible and drunk all of the time. I should try it again sometime. :wacko:

Brooks Hamaker, aka "Mayhaw Man"

There's a train everyday, leaving either way...

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Will someone please rescue my failing brain? I know "about" the Bassomatic. I have heard of it. And I think it has even become an icon. But I can't for the life of me remember what it was. I tried google but there is some rock group called Bassomatic and I really didn't want to go through a thousand or more hits.

Linda LaRose aka "fifi"

"Having spent most of my life searching for truth in the excitement of science, I am now in search of the perfectly seared foie gras without any sweet glop." Linda LaRose

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Will someone please rescue my failing brain? I know "about" the Bassomatic. I have heard of it. And I think it has even become an icon. But I can't for the life of me remember what it was. I tried google but there is some rock group called Bassomatic and I really didn't want to go through a thousand or more hits.

saturday night live. dan aykroyd.

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At the end of the skit Akroyd throws a whole fish into a blender and lets it rip. Without a camera switch he pours some into a tumbler and Laraine Newman picks it up and seemingly takes a slug (at least her lips were covered with it), smiles, and says........."MMMMMMMM, that's great bass!".

It was pretty disgusting and really funny.

Brooks Hamaker, aka "Mayhaw Man"

There's a train everyday, leaving either way...

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I just saw a new one from the red headed lady: Grip n Flip

Actually, that Dip n Strain looks pretty interesting.

Ha ha ha! That's so daft it's wonderful.

"I've caught you Richardson, stuffing spit-backs in your vile maw. 'Let tomorrow's omelets go empty,' is that your fucking attitude?" -E. B. Farnum

"Behold, I teach you the ubermunch. The ubermunch is the meaning of the earth. Let your will say: the ubermunch shall be the meaning of the earth!" -Fritzy N.

"It's okay to like celery more than yogurt, but it's not okay to think that batter is yogurt."

Serving fine and fresh gratuitous comments since Oct 5 2001, 09:53 PM

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Thank you, gentlemen. I was beginning to think that it was some put-on. Funny how it became an icon.

When I was a senior in college I helped to run a study we had been commissioned to do for the pet turtle farming industry. (Salmonella problems.) My major professor came into the lab just as I was dropping a little turtle into a running blender. He threw up in the sink. :laugh:

(I don't think I ever told him that the turtles had been pithed first.)

Linda LaRose aka "fifi"

"Having spent most of my life searching for truth in the excitement of science, I am now in search of the perfectly seared foie gras without any sweet glop." Linda LaRose

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Thank you, gentlemen. I was beginning to think that it was some put-on. Funny how it became an icon.

When I was a senior in college I helped to run a study we had been commissioned to do for the pet turtle farming industry. (Salmonella problems.) My major professor came into the lab just as I was dropping a little turtle into a running blender. He threw up in the sink. :laugh:

(I don't think I ever told him that the turtles had been pithed first.)

This is one of those things that probably only happened in rural Louisiana but-My brother and I made a pretty good chunk of change (for little kids, anyway) when we were growing up catching small maps, yellow ears, red ears, and softshells for a pet wholesaler in North Louisiana. They paid us twenty five cents for the green ones and $2.00 for the softshells. Imagine our dissapointment when the pet guy told us our little cottage industry was coming to an end (we had been doing this for five or six years at that point) because of Federal Regulations involving the transfer of salmonella by turtles to humans. man were we bummed. We had managed to pay for a 14 foot skiff with a little Merc 9.8 on the back and had transformed ourselves into little swamp men.

A couple of years ago, just for grins and nostalgia, my brother and I took my boys out and showed them how we did it "back in the old days" (1970-1976). We caught a bunch of little ones and it really was a whole bunch of fun. I kept the little softshell we caught in a thirty gallon aquarium for a couple of years until it got too large to keep (it could eat gold fish like a vacuum sucks dust) and we turned it loose in the swamp down the street from my house.

Not that this has anything to do with food or anything, but just to get it back to food-I do like turtle soup, hold the sherry please. :wink:

Brooks Hamaker, aka "Mayhaw Man"

There's a train everyday, leaving either way...

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  • 2 months later...

OK, my mom's friend bought me 2 notable useless kitchen gadgets this weekend. I couldn't find the regular thread after several search attempts, so maybe someone with more computer savvy than I have can merge me.

One is something called a Pot Stirrer, made by an outfit called Stir Chef. It is an actual robot that stirs your pot--so you don't have to!

It consists of a plastic body with another plastic insert that has the "stirring" part on it. The plastic body has clamps that extend to fit many different size pots. The stirring part has 3 blades that are supposedly heatproof. They seem rather flimsy and I don't see how they could push through a risotto or even a heavy sauce.

I plan to try this out soon, to see if it really can stir a risotto. If it can . . . :huh:

The thing weighs about 10 pounds. Preview it here:

http://www.seefred.com/cgi-local/shop.pl/page=potstirrer.htm

The second gadget is actually pretty damned cool. It's a small ceramic sculpture of a man's head, with a big nose who is peeling one of his nostrils back so that it is wide open. His name--"Boogernose Boris." At first, when I opened the box, I thought: "hey, cool, they got me a new bong!"

It's actually an egg separator. You crack the egg into Boris's head, and then tilt his head forward. The white part of the egg comes running out of his nose in a most disgusting manner, and the yolk part stays safely inside his head.

I could see using Boris as a pencil jar in the near future.

Preview him here:

http://www.stupid.com/stat/BORS.html

EDIT: to say that the robotic Pot Stirrer goes quite well with my Dustbot, which is a cute little vintage robot that holds a little tiny broom and has a lint trap on his bottom--he dusts your floors, etc., so you don't have to! Also, the woman who bought me these gadgets is the same woman who bought me the ever-popular Chef Wizard a few months ago:

http://www.amerimark.com/cgi-bin/am1live/c...005454A&days=14

Edited by NeroW (log)

Noise is music. All else is food.

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