Naming Cocktails

[Yojimbo]

That's odd. I was just about to post my update to that cocktail... (You'll note my naming strategy in calling it "Craft." That lets drinkers know that what they're experiencing is an expertly balanced and tasteful concoction hand-crafted by an artisanal mixologist. Just a naming pro-tip ;-)...)

Craft Squirrel Sex Manhattan

by Dale DeGroff, Clyde Common, Williamsburg, MA.

3/4 oz Limoncello

3/4 oz Strawberry eau de vie (squirrel-infused)

3/4 oz Eau de Vie of Douglas Fir

3/4 oz Raspberry Shrub

3/4 oz Maraschino Liqueur

3/8 oz Cranberry (Pickled)

4 pn Tartaric acid powder

1 ds Demerara syrup (3:1)

1 rinse Grenadine

16 spl Fernet Branca

Plant, grow, ferment, and distill eaux de vie from lemons, strawberries, and Douglas Fir on-site in the greenhouse on the terrace of your Brooklyn loft. (Must be on-site. Must be Brooklyn.) Sweeten the lemon eau de vie with fresh cane syrup. Infuse the strawberry eau de vie with squirrel (fresh only!). Combine. Hand craft a barrel out of staves rescued from your father's first yacht and age spirits in barrel for six weeks or until you've grown bored and moved on to your next artisanal project, whichever comes first. Empty barrel, and heart. Combine contents of barrel (but not heart) with handmade raspberry shrub (with raspberries plucked from your significant other's father's estate) and authentic Maraschino liqueur. In a mortar and pestle, mash with pickled cranberries overnight. Strain. Ferment in the gullet of a hoatzin, the Guyanese stink-bird (for that touch of Demerara smoke!). Kill and gut bird; double strain. In Erlenmeyer flask, add tartaric acid (fresh squeezed only!) and Demerara syrup, then smash the flask over a rotary evaporator and evaporate its contents rotarily. Convert the remaining liquid into a spray and serve out of an atomizer inserted into the mouth of a grenadine-rinsed and hand-taxidermied squirrel (eastern gray only!). Splash Fernet Branca (or other difficult amaro) until fragrant. Serve up.

I assume you garnish with a squirrel tail, rinsed with home-distilled absinthe employing fresh herbs, table scraps, and stuff found under the bed the day after the last Beltaine, and aged in the armpit of the bar-back for a weekend?

[EvergreenDan]

I feel like I lit a firecracker, went away for a few days, and came back to a blown up city.

[Yojimbo]

Those who play with firewater sometimes get burned?

Seriously, we should probably all be apologizing to the OP for hijacking his thread!

[Rafa]

OP, I am sorry for lighting your thread on fire, with flamed squirrel tail garnishes.

I am also sorry for writing "ginophiles" upthread, when I clearly meant ginophobes. There. It feels good to get that off my chest.

[FrogPrincesse]

Martin Doudoroff linked this really nice article about cocktail naming on twitter today. It discusses naming conventions based on references, the difficulties of finding a pertinent and original name for a new cocktail, etc.

http://www.themorningnews.org/article/swizzle-me-this

[Craig E]

I think it's fair to say I've discovered (in the 1913 Straub's Manual of Mixed Drinks) the worst cocktail name ever:

 

[JoNorvelleWalker]

And which one might that be?

 

[Katie Meadow]

Re the Squirrel Sex Manhattan. Squirrels can't remember where they bury one ingredient, let alone 20, so this drink is wildly improbable. In fact the drink sounds as disgusting as having sex with a squirrel. When I came to the last ingredient and realized that in addition to a squirrel the sex was really a threesome, including a ferret I really felt ill. Oh wait, my mistake.

[EvergreenDan]

Jamaica Ginger has an interesting history, I just discovered: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jamaica_ginger

 

Now back to my bowl of Vomit Flakes and milk.

[Alex]

The naming of drinks is a difficult matter, 

It isn't just one of your barhopping games; 

You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter 

When I tell you a drink must have TWO DIFFERENT NAMES. 

First of all, there's the name that the drinkers use daily, 

Such as Julep, Manhattan, or Punch or Great Dane,

Such as Vesper, Old Fashioned, or Coffee with Bailey's —

Each one a sensible everyday name.

 

To be continued, maybe...

[EvergreenDan]

On 5/30/2019 at 12:10 PM, Alex said:

The naming of drinks is a difficult matter...

 

To butcher a Computer Science quip, "There are only two difficult things in cocktails: Fernet and drink naming."

Edited June 4, 2019 by EvergreenDan (log)