Teen Age Beer Breath Cover Up

[elyse]

you're a parent now, right?  do you *really* think you were getting over?

i remember me and a couple of other morons used to bring a big plastic cup of beer into calc class every morning during our summer session.  we thought it was clever and that no one would be on to us...until one day the professor, out of nowhere, blurted out "mr. tommy, if you'd get your face out of that cup of beer you might actually start to understand this stuff."  so much for being clever.

Did he seriously call you Mr. tommy?

[beeblebrox]

How about getting the redness of out your eyes before you came home after smoking a couple of joints?

visine.

I once offered some guy visine, but he seemed extremely averse to using them. When I finally convinced him to drop some into his eye... he did this exagerrated display of discomfort. He then refused to do his other eye, so he had one white eye and one red eye all night.

[elyse]

Maybe they started making those peanutbutter on-the-go tubes for this reason.

[tommy]

you're a parent now, right?  do you *really* think you were getting over?

i remember me and a couple of other morons used to bring a big plastic cup of beer into calc class every morning during our summer session.  we thought it was clever and that no one would be on to us...until one day the professor, out of nowhere, blurted out "mr. tommy, if you'd get your face out of that cup of beer you might actually start to understand this stuff."  so much for being clever.

Did he seriously call you Mr. tommy?

no, he called me by my last name. it was a shock that he knew it to begin with.

Edited November 5, 2003 by tommy (log)

[snowangel]

Growing up in Thailand, there was no beer breath. We had "other" breath. We just came home really late, to my house, because my bedroom was main floor, everyone else's upstairs. We always hoped for leftover curry in the "outdoor" kitchen.

I grew up without peanut butter. Curry, pad thai, ba mee, kao soi; alas and alak, no PB.

[ballast_regime]

Peach Schnapp's.

[Huevos del Toro]

Sen Sen of course. But that was a dead giveaway. It smelled stronger than the booze and was only used for one thing. I just got caught so never bothered trying to hide it. I'd hurl, mom would put me to bed, dad would lecture me.

[Lady T]

My late father was a bartender and wine steward. There was no way to hide the evidence from him, not ever. Mom could be distracted or faked out, but Dad got me every single time.

[zephyrus]

naphcom-a for red eyes, guaranteed whether its shwag or amsterdams finest......winterfresh gum always worked for me in high school, or so i thought. my dad recently asked me if i really thought chewing that minty gum every night covered up the smell of gin and beer.....

casey

[cbel964]

Clove cigarettes....

[megaira]

Walked in the door, went straight to the bathroom and just "happened" to brush my teeth on the way out. They later said "did you think we didn't figure it out when you walked right in the door and went straight to brush your teeth before coming down to say "hi I'm home""? Well...yeah...that's why I kept doing it.

Back when we were dating, Hub -normally a beer drinker - came in the door and was amazed when I walked past, took a sniff and said "gin...Tanqueray." The Tanqueray part was a lucky guess, but I'll never tell him that. Let him tell the kids "don't even try it on your mom, it never worked for me."

I'm kind of secretly hoping our kids will be hell raisers. I've been gleefully plotting away for the last few years how to warp their little minds and turn out a pack of Ted Nugents. With my luck, they'll be unusually well adjusted despite us and take all the fun out of it.

[coolranch]

Camel Lights

I also remember passing around Altoids

[Squeat Mungry]

I was just going to ask, "Did nobody else use Altoids?" We always used Altoids. To get the smell of smoke off of our hands, we'd rub them in dirt.

Squeat

[elyse]

I don't think we had Altoids when I was a kid.

[NeroW]

Marijuana.

I mean, Trident.

[bleudauvergne]

King Leo peppermint sticks.

[natasha1270]

Big Red chewing gum. Everyone reached for the Big Red at the end of the night...

N.

[crouching tyler]

peanut butter followed by frenzied tooth brushing.

or watermelon hubba bubba.

of course, my parents were usually drunk themselves so it didn't take much.

[Dr. Funk]

2 hamburgers with extra onions at the Twinburger in Boulder. CO (now long gone). Years later, my father told me he could always tell when I'd been drinking 'cause I reeked of onions. He never said anything to me, he just left a note for my mother to wake me up extra early the next morning for some sort of chore. I always wondered why the lawn had to be mowed at 7AM.

[Majra]

Peanut butter for beer breath, and we actually thought we were getting away with it. How dense. For smoking-type offenses, cigarette and other, we would spray our hair like crazy with AquaNet hairspray. That stinky stuff probably actually worked at masking the smoke odors.

[designchick88]

Another Altoids user here. They were a relatively new thing when I was in HS and since everyone always chewed them anyway, it was no big thing to come home smelling like Altoids. Until one night five of my friends came in with me and we all had the freshest of minty fresh breaths, except for my one idiot friend who hated Altoids and wouldn't eat them, and therefore reeked like a brewery. Then the jig was up. Because no way do six people go to a party and only one of them ends up drinking. At least not among the people I hung out with, and of course my parents were smart enough to figure that out.

The beer-in-class story reminded me of the day one of my friends, whose dad was a bartender, brought in a thermos of sex-on-the-beach drinks and we got drunk in the middle of World History class. Still amazed we didn't get busted for that. Mainly because who wants to get busted for drinking something like sex-on-the-beach in class?? Nowadays under "zero tolerance" I think we would have gotten expelled. Good times...

Edited October 20, 2004 by designchick88 (log)

[Chris Cognac]

suck on a penny...that was supposed to fool the police's breathalyzer...I dont think it works...

←

It doesnt!

I used taco bell..mmmm tons of hot sauce!

[phaelon56]

Marijuana.

←

What Nero said. I actually didn't really drink in high school until I was of legal age but there was that "other" breath and lingering odor to worry about. We typically munched out at IHOP, a diner or a local pizza shop after indulging and it was never an issue.

[patti]

I didn't have beer breath until after I was 18, when it was legal. However, there were many instances of Boone's Farm Wild Mountain Grape breath. Of course, the subsequent vomit breath usually covered up the smell of the wine.

[lesfen]

SO MANY stories popped into mind when I saw this! I grew up in a rural area, so there was usually a pretty long drive home from where ever the party was. Windows down the whole way, smoking cigarettes (you could always blame that smell on someone else!), and chomping gum like a mad woman... and it NEVER worked! They always knew.

The fact that I am now someone's mother is absolutely terrifying.