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Dinner II: The Gallery of Regrettable Foods (Part 1)

Grub

By Grub
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daniellewiley

daniellewiley

Posted
Posted
Oh dear. It looks like your Thanksgiving giblet gravy boiled over onto the floor of your oven.

It was actually a Rival turkey roaster. Thank goodness!! Can you imagine cleaning that slop off the floor of your oven???!!! :blink:

Danielle Altshuler Wiley

a.k.a. Foodmomiac

Grub

Grub

Posted
  • Topic Starter
Posted

I'm generally not a boastful kinda guy, but man, it's hard to be humble when you suck this bad -- I take pride in my disasters...

Pork chops with purple sauce, voila:

gallery_28832_1787_22539.jpg

I think this was supposed to be "Pork chops with a chive sauce." The plan was to fry it in a saute pan, and use the drippings for a lovely sauce. Well, the chops were insanely thin -- like for veal saltimbocca or something. I swear they tripple-stacked them or something, because it just never occured to me that pork chops could be that thin.

The irony of it is, the only way I could have had any hope of cooking them in a halfway decent way, would be to do it over extremely high heat -- anything less, and they'd develop very little brownage, and be cooked all to hell... Well, I heated the pan up good and proper, but when I put the oil in it started smoking like CRAZY, so I chickened out and turned the heat down... Of course, I'm not sure if it would have gone much better on high heat, because they started curling up like bacon anyhow.

Then, the sauce. Now that's a keeper -- the recipe called for Sherry, but I figured Sherry, Schmerry, I'll just open this bottle of red wine that I'm gonna use for dinner and use that instead (besides, that way I could enjoy a glass of wine while I'm cooking -- cook's prerogative, right?). I'm not too familiar with sherry, so I kinda just thought it was red, but of course it's a white thing.

And then I just further screwed it up by making the sauce super thick. So it came out looking like blueberry yogurt or something.

Oaurgh.

daniellewiley

daniellewiley

Posted
Posted

Pork chops with purple sauce, voila:

Lovely, Grub, just lovely.

I love how all the components of the dinner are sort of huddling against the side of the plate, leaving that big white space in the middle, like they are scared of each other.. :biggrin:

:laugh::laugh:

Yet the parsley seems to be contemplating making a move for it.

Danielle Altshuler Wiley

a.k.a. Foodmomiac

Grub

Grub

Posted
  • Topic Starter
Posted
How was the pork, Grub?  It actually looks pretty darn good... minus the purple stuff, of course.

Heheh, well thankie! I don't know if I think the pork looks good, though... If the chops were of a reasonable thickness, I would have gotten some brownage all over, and not just on the edges. The way these things look, they looks completely pale and uh, flaccid or something. They were covered in black and green peppercorns (the dish was actually called "Peppered pork with chive sauce," I just remember).

It tasted pretty good, but that was just the sauce (as horrible as it looked) and the peppercorns, really. The pork was supposed to be slightly pink in the center, but in this case it was completely cooked through. The more I cook with pork, the more I like it -- it really has a good flavor. In this case, I might as well have used chicken or veal. There was just no real pork flavor left.

  • 4 weeks later...
sazji

sazji

Posted
Posted (edited)

Wow....I don't think I've ever before laughed so much at a thread; not only from the pictures, but also from the great comments! I'm sitting here in an internet cafe, giggling uncontrollably (but trying to do it quietly) and wiping tears from my eyes. :biggrin:

The title reminded me of The gallery of regrettable foods; since the site wasn't mentioned directly I'm going to pretend you haven't all seen this site already http://www.lileks.com/institute/gallery/index.html. Maybe someone hasn't seen it anyway.

And in the "posted way too much" category, I couldn't help but repost this one because it is just so...regrettable. I regretted seeing it, and regretted having no way out of eating it.

<img src="http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b60/sazji/ser.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com">

Eat up! :raz:

Edited by sazji (log)

"Los Angeles is the only city in the world where there are two separate lines at holy communion. One line is for the regular body of Christ. One line is for the fat-free body of Christ. Our Lady of Malibu Beach serves a great free-range body of Christ over angel-hair pasta."

-Lea de Laria

OnigiriFB

OnigiriFB

Posted
Posted

I love this thread! Hilarious.

Here's a dish I was going to blog about but after looking at it....um... not sure if people would what wonder "what the hell is that s**t brown stuff" I figure the people here would appreciate it :raz:

gallery_39656_2144_305604.jpg

It's kind of a kiddy dish in thailand. Hard boiled eggs, tofu, and pork belly braised in five spice broth. It tasted great but umm... looked a little funky huh?

Onigiri In a Fruits Basket

Ben Gordon's Food Tour of Iowa

OnigiriFB

OnigiriFB

Posted
Posted

*sigh* I'm becoming a regular on this thread!

Ok someone asked about what to do with sardines so it gave me a craving for this thai ghetto meal. This is yum (thai salad) sardines. Looks umm... kinda nasty but once again tasty pretty good! It's really easy if the picture hasn't turned you off to the idea of eating this. Open can of sardines in tomato sauce, add sliced shallots and chopped thai chili, pinch of salt, fish sauce, and lime juice to taste. Add cilantro if have any I didn't. Probably would have helped lookwise....

gallery_39656_2144_304701.jpg

Onigiri In a Fruits Basket

Ben Gordon's Food Tour of Iowa

Panosmex

Panosmex

Posted
Posted

Fun With Gelatine!

Few of us can truly appreciate the delight my wife and I have when, in the hot Summer months, I make a shimmering, crunchy Perfection Salad. 32870816.jpg

I bought these Mexican -style gelatinas as a novelty. They were quite "bouncy" in texture.

33051551.jpg

Buen provecho, Panosmex
Girl-from-mars

Girl-from-mars

Posted
Posted

I have been a lurker, but just today got my posting abilities and well lets just say first post and it needed to be in this thread LOL... this was lunch today... tasted fantastic.. looked like cat barf on toast *sigh* :blink:

gallery_42182_2410_190009.jpg

prasantrin

prasantrin

Posted
Posted
I have been a lurker, but just today got my posting abilities and well lets just say first post and it needed to be in this thread LOL... this was lunch today... tasted fantastic.. looked like cat barf on toast *sigh*  :blink:

gallery_42182_2410_190009.jpg

Ummmm....I just don't know what to say.... :blink: But your description was quite accurate! :raz::biggrin:

It actually looks pretty good. I'd have liked it on a baguette. What's in it?

Girl-from-mars

Girl-from-mars

Posted
Posted

Ummmm....I just don't know what to say.... :blink: But your description was quite accurate!  :raz:  :biggrin:

It actually looks pretty good.  I'd have liked it on a baguette.  What's in it?

It was 2 eggs, dash of milk, salt, pepper, chives from my little garden, grated cheese and chopped up mushroom. IT was all the mushrooms fault.. i made it the other day and it didnt look like cat barf.. its because i added the mushies. i swear :P

DaFonz

DaFonz

Posted
Posted

Every have one of those nights where you think something is a bad idea... but you go ahead and do it anyways because just maybe.. just maybe.. it'll turn out ok? Here was my stupid idea for the night.. spinach + eggs + tuna.

First.. I killed the eggs (damn my lack of cooking ability!)

egg_gone_bad.jpg

It's ok! I still had one more so I put it on top of my spinach... and then promptly decided to forgo the tuna. It was beyond weird... especially since that was all I was eating (ok I cheated, this was a late night snack).

spinach_egg_weirdness.jpg

The moral of my story? If it sounds like a bad idea.. it probably is.

I can't for the life of me cook a sunny side up egg. I cry *sob*. Dammit I can't bake bread either.

I like photography. It's fun | Japan Day 1 - Asahi, Pocky, Tonkatsu and Whale - Oh my!

curlywurlyfi

curlywurlyfi

Posted
Posted (edited)

Sazji, oh my god. that is hideous. what IS that? cow's nose?

edited because photo didn't copy

Edited by curlywurlyfi (log)

Fi Kirkpatrick

tofu fi fie pho fum

"Your avatar shoes look like Marge Simpson's hair." - therese

gini

gini

Posted
Posted
Every have one of those nights where you think something is a bad idea... but you go ahead and do it anyways because just maybe.. just maybe.. it'll turn out ok? Here was my stupid idea for the night.. spinach + eggs + tuna.

First.. I killed the eggs (damn my lack of cooking ability!)

egg_gone_bad.jpg

It's ok! I still had one more so I put it on top of my spinach... and then promptly decided to forgo the tuna. It was beyond weird... especially since that was all I was eating (ok I cheated, this was a late night snack).

spinach_egg_weirdness.jpg

The moral of my story? If it sounds like a bad idea.. it probably is.

DaFonz- You make me sad....Toast topped with fried/sauteed, spinach, eggs and melted cheese is one of my all time favorite late night snacks. But tuna - imagine what it WOULD have tasted like! :wacko:

Eating pizza with a fork and knife is like making love through an interpreter.
DaFonz

DaFonz

Posted
Posted
^I've taught you how to cook a sunny-side up egg so many times already, DaFonz!!! I thought you were supposed to be a smart guy!  :laugh:

I think it is the grayish-brown moat around the spinach that makes it look especially unappealing.  :raz:

You so have not taught me! When you going to the chocolate place today?

I can't for the life of me cook a sunny side up egg. I cry *sob*. Dammit I can't bake bread either.

I like photography. It's fun | Japan Day 1 - Asahi, Pocky, Tonkatsu and Whale - Oh my!

  • 4 weeks later...
sazji

sazji

Posted
Posted (edited)
Sazji, oh my god.  that is hideous.  what IS that?  cow's nose?

edited because photo didn't copy

It is an entire sheep's head, surrounded by the feet. The white piece sticking out is the nose cartilage, which I ate. It tasted like very crunchy lamb. ;) Perhaps you'd like to see the first course:

<a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b60/sazji/serupepik.jpg" border="0" alt="Image hosting by Photobucket"></a>

Edited by sazji (log)

"Los Angeles is the only city in the world where there are two separate lines at holy communion. One line is for the regular body of Christ. One line is for the fat-free body of Christ. Our Lady of Malibu Beach serves a great free-range body of Christ over angel-hair pasta."

-Lea de Laria

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