Cleaning the office refrigerator

[Fresser]

When the ice-cold kitchen cube becomes too overloaded (and filthy) to bear, I put up my handy sign that says, "Armageddon is here. This refrigerator will be cleaned on xx-xx-xx. Please remove your food-like items by that date or they will be discarded."

Usually the office drones will respond by retrieving some of their superannuated snacks, leaving the fridge somewhat empty and merely decorated with food stains. But this Friday the staff had made no such effort and said fridge was so overstuffed it was "(A)pproaching maximum density," as Bender from "The Breakfast Club" would put it.

Enter Neat-Freak Fresser!!

I purged four shelves-worth of decaying rot, milk that passed its expiration date a month ago and various and sundry condiment bottles that were nearly empty. Two Hefty bags later, said fridge (which I have nicknamed "The Petri Box") was barren, so I pulled out all the shelves and gave them a good soap-and-water sudsing in the kitchen sink.

I actually feared the wrath of some Dilbertesque creatures who would storm in and bellow, "You threw out my two-month old milk? I was culturing it to make cheese!" But a hardy soul actually came in and said, "Fresser, in case no one else does, I want to thank you for cleaning out this disgusting fridge. It looks BEAUTIFUL now."

Does anyone else have fridge-cleaning stories? Am I the only one to VOLUNTEER for the Kitchen Police?

[jsolomon]

I don't have any yet, but it's only been recently that my office has received a break room and requisite refrigerator.

Of course, we also have biohazard bags, cleanroom gowning, and autoclaves large enough to decontaminate a whole fridge-worth of microbiology.

I'm sure our time will come, though...

[sparrowgrass]

I have had a rather checkered career life--lord knows how many jobs in the past 30 years, and so I have seen any number of office fridges.

When I worked for the health department in Kentucky, we had trouble with maintenance folks stealing food--we responded by affixing a bio-hazard symbol to the front, and stored our leftovers in medical sample bags.

At my next job, with the humane society, care had to be taken to distinguish your lunch bag from the other brown paper bags in the fridge. Animals suspected of rabies had their heads removed to be sent to the lab for testing. The heads were placed in plastic bags or boxes, and then wrapped in brown paper bags to await pickup by the health department once a week.

At my current job, the fridge is generally fine, but the microwave is frightening.

[jgarner53]

I'm not in an office anymore but have suffered through my share of bad fridges (including having tupperwares of mine thrown out by cleaning vigilantes ). My husband started a group at his office to clean out the fridge every week. I think the acronym was T.R.A.S.H. but I can't remember what it stood for.

Which reminds me that my own fridge is getting on near scary levels and should probably be cleaned out.

[Lone Star]

At my old firm, the fridge was cleaned out every Friday by the receptionist. "Use it or Lose it!"

Here all we have are Diet Cokes, bottled water, Chardonnay and a drawer full of candy.

[snowangel]

They used to call me the fridge monster when I worked outside the home.

It all started when I came back from a 4-month maternity leave, and found this "ball" in the fridge. It was a plastic container of cream cheese that had expired before I got pregnant!

[SobaAddict70]

Does anyone else have fridge-cleaning stories?  Am I the only one to VOLUNTEER for the Kitchen Police?

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Oh, I have stories to tell, lol. Here are a couple from the archives:

There was the time I threw out a tin of foie gras that my then-roommate had brought over from a trip to Paris...except that the foie gras was over three years old, and the tin unopened.

Mounds of ice left to accumulate in the freezer. It took me a little over four hours and countless pots of boiling water to break the glacier that had formed in our freezer. You'd think it was The Day After Tomorrow, it was so bad.

[fifi]

This is too funny. In my previous corporate life, the fridge got cleaned every Friday. The cleaning people were instructed to trash everything but soft drinks and bottles of water. (Those left over from catered lunches for meetings.) This worked quite well. Everyone knew that the anonymous cleaning crew would purge the fridge on a Friday. If you forgot about that treasured Tupperware, too bad.

We had a catered lunch for the whole department (about 100 hungry souls) every first Thursday of the month. We had a favorite caterer and he would package up the leftovers into those styrofoam go-boxes. Those were fair game, first come first served, and would disappear.

The funniest thing was when some of our folks brought things for friends. Rather aggressive notes would be attached. One of our managers was quite a fisherman and would bring in fish filets for me. He would put a note on the package . . . "Touch this at the risk of THE WRATH OF LAROSE." I never had a purloined filet of fish.

[rabidscottsman]

I was on break on night in the lunch room when our maintenance guy decided to clean out the fridge because he was having a slow night and had nothing else to do.

I was talking to one of my coworkers when i heard Our maintence guy suddenly haul off with this "What the hell? "DUCK HEAD" I look over at him and he's holding this mallards head, feathers still on it and everything.

The next day i went out and bought one of those playmate coolers with a few ice packs and i havent used that fridge since

[ohmyganache]

Not exactly a fridge story, but I found a several-months old bag of potatoes in the back of my pantry. They were in various stages of liquification... and I was wondering why there were more than a few fruit flies hanging out.

I totally forgot it was there, but found it today...

[bleudauvergne]

My office fridge contains a lot of beer. I don't know who drinks it although I do have an idea of who might be the culprit. It's full of bottles and cans of various different kinds of beer and the stock rotates, its clear that someone is drinking it at the office and restocking the fridge. No one cares. Just about every office fridge on the entire campus of the school where I work has at least one bottle of champagne and a bottle of wine in the bottom drawer. Not once in the years I have been there have I ever seen anyone have anything so great to celebrate that they break out the champagne. I think we're all waiting for something big to happen.

[Country Cook]

My office fridge contains a lot of beer.  I don't know who drinks it although I do have an idea of who might be the culprit.  It's full of bottles and cans of various different kinds of beer and the stock rotates, its clear that someone is drinking it at the office and restocking the fridge.  No one cares.  Just about every office fridge on the entire campus of the school where I work has at least one bottle of champagne and a bottle of wine in the bottom drawer.  Not once in the years I have been there have I ever seen anyone have anything so great to celebrate that they break out the champagne.  I think we're all waiting for something big to happen.

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If only our office had rotating beer , all we have is rotating salad dressing from office lunches.

[misstenacity]

I've volunteered for this job before.... partly because it needs doing (and I used to store so much crap in the fridge that when it was full I couldn't bring more in! ) and partly for the free tupperware! I have acquired a few nice pyrex pieces this way. Hehe.

(Sorry jgarner.... but my coworkers got several days' notice to purge)

Unfortunately, some 'do gooder' decided that our fridge was actually a possible health problem and so now it was officially declared a "lunch storage fridge only" and it is forcibly cleaned out every Friday. So no semi-long-term storage of anything, including salad dressings, butter, eggs, etc etc. Kind of a bummer.

At least I still have my desk-drawer pantry!

Andrea

http://tenacity.net

[bushey]

Last summer my daughter had her first summer job, at the District Attorney's office. They absolutely loved her for her spunk and willingness to do anything and her great phone and computer skills. One day she was sick of seeing the gross mess in the refrigerator and spent some time creating a "Fun Facts" poster about germs, bacteria, shelf-life and possible illnesses. They all thought it was a hoot and a very diplomatic way to approach the situation.

Or course, my husband's best friend is the first assistant DA and knows the "truth" about our daughter's cleanliness habits -- he's actually seen her room .

[peppyre]

I was on break on night in the lunch room when our maintenance guy decided to clean out the fridge because he was having a slow night and had nothing else to do.

I was talking to one of my coworkers when i heard Our maintence guy suddenly haul off with this "What the hell?  "DUCK HEAD"  I look over at him and he's holding this mallards head, feathers still on it and everything.

The next day i went out and bought one of those playmate coolers with a few ice packs  and i havent used that fridge since

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Where the hell do you work?!! I think that would terrify me more than anything. I would definitely be looking at my co-workers a little sideways after that. Yikes!!!!

[Smithy]

I was on break on night in the lunch room when our maintenance guy decided to clean out the fridge because he was having a slow night and had nothing else to do.

I was talking to one of my coworkers when i heard Our maintence guy suddenly haul off with this "What the hell?  "DUCK HEAD"  I look over at him and he's holding this mallards head, feathers still on it and everything.

The next day i went out and bought one of those playmate coolers with a few ice packs  and i havent used that fridge since

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Where the hell do you work?!! I think that would terrify me more than anything. I would definitely be looking at my co-workers a little sideways after that. Yikes!!!!

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Heh. Our place used to have a full-blown biological research lab, water quality lab and general chemistry lab. One never knew when one would open the refrigerator and find dead sparrows, fish parts, or jars with mystery materials. Eventually the Management sprang for an "R&D" fridge so the science experiments would stay separate from the food.

[winesonoma]

I was on break on night in the lunch room when our maintenance guy decided to clean out the fridge because he was having a slow night and had nothing else to do.

I was talking to one of my coworkers when i heard Our maintence guy suddenly haul off with this "What the hell?  "DUCK HEAD"  I look over at him and he's holding this mallards head, feathers still on it and everything.

The next day i went out and bought one of those playmate coolers with a few ice packs  and i havent used that fridge since

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Where the hell do you work?!! I think that would terrify me more than anything. I would definitely be looking at my co-workers a little sideways after that. Yikes!!!!

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Heh. Our place used to have a full-blown biological research lab, water quality lab and general chemistry lab. One never knew when one would open the refrigerator and find dead sparrows, fish parts, or jars with mystery materials. Eventually the Management sprang for an "R&D" fridge so the science experiments would stay separate from the food.

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Those scientists really get upset when you eat their stuff.

[peppyre]

And here I thought it was bad that we had cow's eyes in our fridge. (I used to work in an Ophthalmology centre)

[Bernaise]

Occasionally a sign was posted that read:

The experiment has been a success!

all the participants may now remove their contributions and greet the "new staph member" at lunch.

more recently though the notice is:

Excellent pieces of tupperware, lock and lock, and corningware will be on offer this Friday complete with a surprise!! The kids will be amazed - don't miss out!

Sadly I have a reputation as a yoghurt thief - I confessed in a group e-mail and someone responded by saying "that wasn't a yoghurt" yikes!

In my old cooking days we delighted in lining up the butchered rabbit heads red eyes, blue eyes all in a row. Also never open an unlabled white plastic bucket in the walk-in fridge.

I'm going to suggest that the next fridge bulletin will be an audition for Xtreme Fear Factor! with a cash prize for that person who is willing to try something.

[constanela]

My partner teaches in an elementary school. On staff is one particularly dreaded teacher, sort of a neo-hippie, who is vegetarian and refuses to use deodorant. A few months ago, the school secretary decided to clean out the fridge and found some curious bundles wrapped in foil. She opened one and was shocked to find a dead rat.

Turns out the rats belonged to the teacher no one liked. She was using them to feed a snake she had in her room as a science project. When she and the other teachers confronted this woman, she got very defensive and told them that when they brought their lunches of hamburger and chicken and put it in the fridge, she found it to be just as offensive and disgusting as they were finding her rats!

Long story short......after much heated debate, rodents were banned from the food refrigerator.

[Chris Amirault]

I guess her snake wasn't vegetarian....