Food Network Chefs

[Simon Majumdar]

God, I have never been accused of having a love fest with anyone.  Not even one of my ex-wives

FWIW, I am hugely in favour of killing all tv personality chefs in a fitting way

1) I would put Emeril on the fire and "kick it up a notch"

2) I would smother Ainsley Harriot in salt sprinkled from on high while singing zippidee do dah

3) I would strangle Jamie oliver with his own Tongue

4) I would render Anthony Warral Thompson down to his natural state of blubber

I hope I wasn't being too complimentary to them.  I wouldn't want to be accused of being a stalker, now would I Ron?

S

(Edited by Simon Majumdar at 4:16 am on Jan. 25, 2002)

[Ron Johnson]

Simon:  I was wondering how long it would take you to weigh in on that one.  You know I was only pulling your leg.  However, given Blue Heron's post above, I believe that you have been supplanted in the Bourdain lovefest.  At least you never called him the Russell Crowe of chefdom.  eck!

[Rachel Perlow]

Quote: from Simon Majumdar on 4:15 am on Jan. 25, 2002

2) I would smother Ainsley Harriot in salt sprinkled from on high while singing zippidee do dah

3) I would strangle Jamie oliver with his own Tongue

2) ROTFLMAO!

3) I would use his lips.<p>Rachel ;)

[tommy]

Quote: from RPerlow on 4:41 pm on Jan. 24, 2002

What is really silly are the current shows where he goes to celebrities' houses to cook for them, getting them to participate in the cooking. Last time he jammed with Jamiroquai, oh wow.

i'm more amazed at the fact that Jamiroquai can still afford his mortgage payments.  

at the very least, you gotta love jamie for putting together a compilation CD of very cool british music to "cook by" for release, and plopping a song by his own unsigned band at the end of it.  shameless.  brilliant, but shameless.

[Wilfrid]

Quote: from Simon Majumdar on 4:15 am on Jan. 25, 2002

I would strangle Jamie oliver with his own Tongue

Euuch!  Wear gloves.

[Miss J]

At risk of drawing the wrath of every UK poster down upon me, I have to confess that I want to strangle Delia Smith. She was broadcasting her Winter Collection at the time I arrived in London, and I happened to find myself in a house share which included a rabid Delia-fan.

Every meal was punctuated by this woman leaning over my chopping board and offering 'Delia tips'. To make matters worse, my tormentor seemed to be of the impression that being able to quote Delia verbatim somehow qualified her as a member of the English welly-wearing upper middle class. (The fact that she was a fellow Canadian didn't seem to cross her mind.)

So, in spite of a strong showing from Jamie Oliver and Ainsley Harriot, my 'most annoying chef ever' award must go to the newest noun in the OED.

Miss J

[Wilfrid]

I'm English and I agree with you about Delia.  People are always putting her cookbooks on their wedding lists!  I bought one once, to give as a present.  It was called something like "Delia' Complete Cooking".  Looked inside.  Not one recipe for brains.  Complete?  Pfui.

[Steve Klc]

Sounds to me like we have the making of a very good Delia vs. Martha Stewart cultural comparison thread possibility--will it be Delia-tips or "good things?"  any takers?  In fact, one of the things that has most surprised me about eGullet so far is the relative lack of rancor and comment upon Martha and her culinary influence in this country.

Perhaps with the announcement of K-Mart's pending bankruptcy a few Martha observations might be warranted?  It's my sense that Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia has their hands is so much these days that influence us--does no one else remember the publication of that first Weddings book and how influential and ubiquitous that made catered events way back when?  was it so long ago that people have forgotten?

Or am I possibly waxing nostalgic about her influence?  Let's not forget that she is on the Food Network.  Thanks to Ron Johnson for seeing fit to include her and for reminding me that I feel Martha has provided us with so much good and bad fodder for so long that she dwarfs the impact of all these other lightweight food personalities combined.

[Liza]

I come not to bury Martha, but to praise her. Believe me, I'm as shocked as anyone. The thing I like about her cooking segments, is that when she has a chef over to demonstrate a dish, she appears to let the chef...demonstrate the dish. Not too many questions, and "can you do that again but slower for our viewers?" and "how much salt? A pinch? Would you call that a pinch?" ...AIEE. I'm not sure but it also appears that she lets them demonstrate the actual recipe, not a dumbed-down or PC-version. There, that's my pro-Martha opinion. Now when she suggested that we all get  all those extra tweed jackets out and cut them into squares and make a blanket, that's when I want to bury her.

[Bux]

Martha doesn't leave anyone cold does she? I'm afraid she leaves me quickly when she's outside a kitchen. I'm absolutely sure any suggestions she would have about blanket making would start out by having me raise my own sheep, but when she's cooking, I find she's adept, dextrous and able bodied. She seems focused and capable of turning out any simple or complex dish. Her perfectionism doesn't run amok until she gets to decorating things, although that part might even include Halloween cookies.

Liza has a good point as well. When she has guests, they are people she respects and she shows it with intelligence. There really aren't many food people on TV that seem to respect either the food they cook, the people they work with or the people watching. Whatever I may think about her, or her lifestyle, she doesn't dumb anything down and that puts her in a very small group of heavyweights.

We junked cable a long time ago, but we haven't had decent broadcast reception for the past three months and just hooked up again. I've been watching constantly for the past 24 hours and now that I can see clearly again, I'm wondering if there's anything on to watch.

;)

[Blue Heron]

I've always liked and admired Martha Stewart.  I will even admit I subscribe to her magazine (although I don't have the time or talent (or staff of hundreds like she has) to make any of the projects, it's great to browse through).   I also admire her business savvy.  I don't follow her quite as much as I used to, probably because there are more choices out there now, but I still hold her in high regard.

[tommy]

martha stewart is a robot.  most likely from a different solar system.  i read that somewhere.  i swear.

[John Whiting]

I've no wish to revive this morbid feast of necrophilia, but anyone who is interested in the Martha Stewart phenomenon should go to John Thorne's _Outlaw Cook_, pp265-74. He doesn't so much butcher her as serve her up as exquisite nouvelle cuisine, basted with her own sauce.

[col klink]

I watched her episode (well, the cooking part) for Thanksgiving where she had her accountent prepare the family's "blackened turkey." First of all, I was not surprised that the accountent was practically a soup-nazi in preparing the turkey, she repeatedly stated: "It must be done this way!" Never once, did the accountent mention WHY it must be done in that fashion. For this I blame Martha, she supposedly informitive about everything else, plus she's the host.

I am always one to keep an open mind (well, when food is concerned) about trying new ways to prepare food. But the she never once offered any explanation as to how turkey prepared in this fashion is better than traditionally prepared turkeys. She pulled it out of the oven and showed us a black turkey, she didn't even carve it! Was it juicy? Does it taste good or does her family not know any better?

For Pete's sake, I can grossly overcook a turkey too, I just can't get it on Martha's show. The next guy though was in the food business and carved up the breasts, wrapped them in bacon and then roasted them, which did sound good if a little labor intensive. He also de-boned the legs and stuffed 'em, also looking good.

fyi, I've yet to see another show, and smoking a turkey is the best way to prepare it. The only downside to smoking a turkey is that you don't get any drippings for gravy.

[JSD]

I know this thread was dead and buried, but I have to say I really loved Door Knock Dinners with Gordon Elliot. It was hilarious. I especially liked the episode with the Iron Chefs doing the cooking. They were in a palatial home in Long Island, I think, that had very little in the way of actual food to work with. The chefs, who arrived looking like 1930's Hollywood movie stars with their cashmere coats, were forced to use hamburger and frozen veggies. It was the funniest thing I've seen on Food Channel.

[Steve Klc]

"Martha has provided us with so much good and bad fodder for so long that she dwarfs the impact of all these other lightweight food personalities combined."

I assure everyone I had no insider knowledge of how correct this observation would become.

[Ron Johnson]

I have to say I really loved Door Knock Dinners with Gordon Elliot.

Oh, please, please, please say that you are joking.

[tommy]

I have to say I really loved Door Knock Dinners with Gordon Elliot.

Oh, please, please, please say that you are joking.

i thought it was a brilliant show as well. i especially loved when the freakishly tall gordon would occasionally smack his head against a light fixture or low door frame.

[JSD]

I have to say I really loved Door Knock Dinners with Gordon Elliot.

Oh, please, please, please say that you are joking.

i thought it was a brilliant show as well. i especially loved when the freakishly tall gordon would occasionally smack his head against a light fixture or low door frame.

NO! I am not joking. On another good show the chef is forced to cook with margarine called "I can't believe it's not butter" and he says, "I can't believe I'm cooking with this." Gordon always has the homeowners give a tour of their house, usually a mini-mansion on Long Island. On one show, when they opened the fridge at the beginning, they found it was completely filled with diet soda.

On the other hand, I don't care for Iron Chef. It's just too weird, although the episode where they had to catch the featured ingredient, eel, was pretty good. The eels were swirling around in the tub and it took them awhile to catch enough for all the dishes they were going to make.

[dude3]

On the other hand, I don't care for Iron Chef.

Are you kidding?! What's wrong with you? It's cooking and sports-style commentary. What's not to like?

[Aurora]

Hey! Don't bash Iron Chef! It is the ultimate for anyone person who, like me, loves poor dubbing (a la Kung Fu movies) and cooking shows. The opening alone is the ultimate in hoaky entertainment: "Welcome to Kitchen Stadium!" I tune in just to see the ingredient rise out of the floor from the dry ice. The one where Bobby Flay got his clock cleaned was the best! What makes Iron Chef so good is that it is soooo bad!

After that, I actually think my favorite food personality is Claudine Pepin. I'm convinced that her klutzy-in-the-kitchen routine is a front out of respect to her father. Anybody can ream a lemon, but Claudine makes it look like a feat only brain surgeons, mission specialists from NASA, and her father can accomplish with any degree of capability. I love to watch it just to see how far she takes it sometimes. Most children would use the opportunity to outshine rather than compliment.

Can anyone weigh-in on The Two Fat Ladies?

[wingding]

I have about the same patience for watching Iron Chef as I do for most sports-about 8 minutes and I'm bored.But the hosts' baroque outfits,and the fact that he opens the show by taking a big bite out of a raw yellow pepper are bizarre-and the dialogue only gets more wacky as the show progresses.But I don't have the patience for it,or many other cooking shows,for that matter..

[tommy]

Hey!  Don't bash Iron Chef!  It is the ultimate for anyone person who, like me, loves poor dubbing (a la Kung Fu movies) and cooking shows.  

After that, I actually think my favorite food personality is Claudine Pepin.  I'm convinced that her klutzy-in-the-kitchen routine is a front out of respect to her father.  Anybody can ream a lemon, but Claudine makes it look like a feat only brain surgeons, mission specialists from NASA, and her father can accomplish with any degree of capability.  I love to watch it just to see how far she takes it sometimes.  Most children would use the opportunity to outshine rather than compliment.

i disagree. i think the dubbing is more than just dubbing. they use too many euphemisms that no doubt do not exist in the japanese language. they sound very spontaneous, and have been very consistent throughout every one of the shows. if you closed your eyes, you would have no idea it was being dubbed. and by virtue of the way the show is set up, you rarely realize it even when you *are* watching the show. i think the dubbing is quite impression.

claudine seems to be a sweetheart. her dad rules.

[Lesley C]

I've heard that Claudine is a little less than charming.

When she was in Montreal filming an episode with pops, rumour has it she sent back all her food in one of the best local bistros.

Jacques Pepin, however, is one of the greatest food personalities out there. When they cook together, I often wonder if they even like each other.

[tommy]

I've heard that Claudine is a little less than charming.

When she was in Montreal filming an episode with pops, rumour has it she sent back all her food in one of the best local bistros.

i went to a cooking demo with claudine and jaques. obviously we didn't get to chat one-on-one very much, but she had a very nice disposition during the 2 plus hours. she signed my book so i'd hate to think she's a nasty chick!