Does your man cook?

[FL Heat]

I do nearly all of the cooking (and all of the laundry, and the house cleaning, and the dishwashing, but I don't have to fix my car when it's not working right or mow the lawn). Not only do I cook dinner, but after dinner dishes are done, I make his lunch to take to work the next day. I'm another who works from home, so it just makes sense.

The boyfriend is skilled on the grill, and from that interest, I got him to learn to make his own marinades, barbecue sauces, and rubs. He's also a better baker than I am, probably because he doesn't find following a recipe an excuse to rebel. He's very meticulous, very precise, and gets very grumpy when he sees me throw in a little of this, a pinch of that.

When I start cooking dinner, he'll always say, "Let me know if you need help," and heads into the living room. It's better that way.

He is a competent cook, but doesn't like washing dishes or cleaning up the new appliances we have, and seems a bit fearful at putting things away into the wrong cabinet. He will always help when I ask, though, which is all I need for happiness :)

My mom & dad have an agreement of sorts. . .mom cooked for the first 25 years they were married, and dad's been cooking ever since (the past 15 years). Mom is a by-the-recipe kind of cook, and had the task of cooking for me & my brother while we were growing up (and I feel bad now for being a picky eater), and is happy to let dad handle it now.

Diana

[hshiau]

Living in NYC, neither my wife nor I cook unless we absolutely have to. My parents are both amazing cooks, my father being a head chef in a Chinese restaurant for years but their knack for cooking did not pass down to me. This is not to say I'm not interested and would do so if I had more time but right now, we both suck.

Now don't kill me but my parents still cook for us sometimes since my mom picks up my daughter from school. I think she wants to make sure my daughter gets home cooking. We both work a lot of hours and would eat out 7 days a week before my daughter was born. As she gets older and can stay up later, I'm sure we'll start cooking as a family more but we'll see when the time comes.

[origamicrane]

you know all guys can cook

but we only do it when we want something

[Marlene]

My father cooks almost everything for himself, my mother, and guests, when there are some. It wasn't always so, but it's been like that since 1992. Back in the 70s and 80s, my mother did something like 70-80% of the cooking, I figure.

That's what happened in my house growing up too. Mom did most of the cooking until Dad hit his 50th birthday. Then he decided to teach himself to cook. He was one of the most amazing cooks I ever knew and I learned most of what I know from him. Mom hasn't been near an oven since

[JPW]

Considering Mrs. JPW's idea of cooking is pan-fried tofu slabs, I do all the cooking.

She does the dishes

(usually).

I also do all the grocery shopping. I figure my cooking = my ingredients.

[GG Mora]

Interesting that you ask "Does your man cook?" rather than "Can your man cook?". Because mine can but most often doesn't. To be fair, I'll say that my cooking skills are a little intimidating to almost everyone I know, so not many of them would offer to cook in my stead. Which is just plain dumb, since none of them is a particularly bad cook.

And so, my husband, while he is a perfectly good cook, only cooks when the stakes are low or I'm not looking. He gets up in the morning and makes breakfast for himself and the kids and packs their lunch for school. He'll make breakfast for the masses on the weekend. If I'm out without him for an evening, he manages to feed himself and the kids well enough that I often hear about it the next day. When absolutely necessary, he'll step up to the plate and cook dinner for all of us – usually an excellent roast chicken and fixins, sometimes pasta (with bottled sauce, but with a fine salad and wicked garlic bread), or maybe a scaled-down paella. He's Paella Man, due to family heritage; he makes a damned good one, one that I couldn't match.

I've been trying for the 3 years we've been together to find a way to coax him into cooking more, because I know he enjoys it. He pores over the cooking mags every month and points out stuff that looks delicious, so I'll suggest that he make what looks good. Nope. If the technique seems intimidating, I'll suggest that we cook together (I LOVE cooking with a partner; it's another form of lovemaking). Nope. I proposed that he pick one night a week to be in charge of dinner, so that he could plan ahead. Nope. Bought him one of Bittman's smaller cookbooks for his birthday...He actually tried a new twist on the roast chicken dinner, which was excellent, but since then the book sits gathering dust.

He doesn't refuse any of my suggestions; he agress to them but never follows through. And when I ask about it, that old intimidation issue rears its ugly head. Now, I'm not someone that lords it over people. I'll cop to severe competence here, since I'm in good company, but in the real world, I'm pretty fucking humble about it. Honest. Maybe I just need to give it more time.

I kinda know how he feels. He's a natural and gifted skier, the kind that can make even the most confident skier want to take off their skis and give it up. Of course, he's oblivious to the effect, and is supremely encouraging to all comers. Nonetheless, I was mortified with self-consciousness the first time I skied with him, and remain mostly so. And I'm a reasonably competant skier. But in the presence of greatness...

[Juanito]

I don't have a man.

I can and do cook. My "woman" can cook, but not as well as I can. And whatever she does know how to cook, I taught her.

So there.

She's really good at laundry, though.

[Al_Dente]

I don't have a man.

I can and do cook. My "woman" can cook, but not as well as I can. And whatever she does know how to cook, I taught her.

So there.

She's really good at laundry, though.

Amen to THAT! Same here.

[Squeat Mungry]

I don't have a man. Or a woman. I cook. I am a man. I don't have a cook.

[chile_peppa]

I live in a man-infested world: BF, sons, brothers, cousins, 80:20 male:female ratio at work...

The BF makes a mean rotisserie chicken and does a great job of getting leftovers to the table in edible condition. He also cleans the kitchen and washes the dishes. And he hasn't complained about the kitchen experiments he has to eat.

The sons DO cook. In fact, one day I was driving to Kansas when I got a call from the oldest son asking where to find my sausage stuffer because he and his friend took a notion to make Italian sausages. They turned out mighty fine, too.

I'm heading off to the family reunion this weekend, where the men will sit around the grills drinking beer and watching meat roast, while the women do the plant-based foods. Ahh, those gender roles...

Edited August 5, 2004 by chile_peppa (log)

[LBNoble]

No, but he can reheat w/ a microwave & make coffee. He also never complains about my cooking, which is generally good, but occasionally uninspired. My only wish is that he could be trained to put his dishes in the dishwasher instead of the sink...

My son, who is 9, makes great scrambled eggs & can fix sandwiches, do some vegetable prep, & DOES put his dishes in the dishwasher. He also likes to watch 'Iron Chef' with me.

[eunny jang]

My boyfriend cooks, but it always involves some sort of grilled item. He is king of the marinades - dumping whatever sounds good together and sloshing it around. Sometimes, out of nowhere, he buys a turkey that's on sale and roasts it so he can have turkey sandwiches and make turkey soup. Plain-jane stuff, but everything he makes tends to taste pretty good.

Once, he put some fresh blackberries on a plate because, in his words, "that corner of the plate was empty and it needed some other color to make it look good"

But usually, he comes over and I cook. He helps me with the dishes, and dumps the garbage down the chute for me.

[hjshorter]

When Scott was working from home he did most of the cooking. He was raised by a single mom who encouraged him to learn how, and he's good at it. Now that he's commuting again I do most of the cooking, but he always does the dishes.

He's definitely not chore-averse. He scrubs the bathrooms because it doesn't bother him but he knows I hate it.

[tryska]

i have no man in my life--i feel so ashamed.

me either.

but the when i did, yes. he was also a heck of a sandwich maker.

my dad also cooks on occassion. soemtimes it's good, sometimes, not so much.

[Sandra Levine]

My husband's signature (and only) dish is lox, eggs and onions, which he makes maybe twice a year. His secret is to saute the chopped onion first, in butter, then add the chopped smoked salmon (never lox, despite the name) and some additional butter, and after the salmon is heated through, the eggs, with more butter. We sometimes have this for New Year's Eve.

[sarahoc]

My boyfriend thinks putting a slice of cheese on bread is cooking.

[Monica Bhide]

My boyfriend thinks putting a slice of cheese on bread is cooking.

I have been laughing so hard.. reading and re-reading this thread. ...

the observations.. behavoirs are hilarious.

[Jake]

Great thread, Monica!

I haven't laughed this much in awhile.

[Bond Girl]

Whenever my friends hears where my insignificant other works, they picture artfully arranged sushi or sashimi for dinner every night, the infamous miso cod for sundays....Here's the real truth: the number of time he cooked for me is.......Zero. Zilch. Nada. However, I do recall the one time he made breakfast for me the whole venture took over an hour. He first have to grind the coffee, then warm the mugs with hot water, then make sure the water for the coffee is at the optimal temperature....(you get the idea.)

Having said that, the affection goes both ways. Having dated me for more than a year, he recently exclaimed "I never knew you can cook!" after sneaking off with a piece of strawberry tart from the kitchen while I wasn't looking.

[Monica Bhide]

Whenever my friends hears where my insignificant other works, they picture artfully arranged sushi or sashimi for dinner every night, the infamous miso cod for sundays....Here's the real truth: the number of time he cooked for me is.......Zero. Zilch. Nada. However, I do recall the one time he made breakfast for me the whole venture took over an hour. He first have to grind the coffee, then warm the mugs with hot water, then make sure the water for the coffee is at the optimal temperature....(you get the idea.)

Having said that, the affection goes both ways. Having dated me for more than a year, he recently exclaimed "I never knew you can cook!" after sneaking off with a piece of strawberry tart from the kitchen while I wasn't looking.

Before I read your post I was getting ready to be hit by major pangs of jealousy.. I guess not. You and I are in the same boat

[iamthestretch]

I do almost all of the cooking in our house because my wife does almost all of the earning money to purchase food with, so it seems only just. Plus, I really enjoy it. I do not, however, readily admit to how much I enjoy it, because then I would have almost no "hand," in the Seinfeldian sense. I also do laundry and clean -- within reason -- but do not broadcast this as it seems to make other guys want to kick me in the fork for setting a bad example. And yes, I do check occasionally to make sure they're still hanging there, and they are.

[Bond Girl]

Whenever my friends hears where my insignificant other works, they picture artfully arranged sushi or sashimi for dinner every night, the infamous miso cod for sundays....Here's the real truth:  the number of time he cooked for me is.......Zero. Zilch. Nada.  However, I do recall the one time he made breakfast for me the whole venture took over an hour.  He first have to grind the coffee, then warm the mugs with hot water, then make sure the water for the coffee is at the optimal temperature....(you get the idea.)

Having said that, the affection goes both ways.  Having dated me for more than a year, he recently exclaimed "I never knew you can cook!" after sneaking off with a piece of strawberry tart from the kitchen while I wasn't looking.

Before I read your post I was getting ready to be hit by major pangs of jealousy.. I guess not. You and I are in the same boat

Perhaps worse. As a chef not only does the insignificant other not have the time to cook for me, he knows when you've taken shortcuts and thing...

[Bicycle Lee]

I cook...I cook for my woman....I have never had a girlfriend who could cook worth a lick. I've never worked with or for a woman in a kitchen who could cook worth a lick. I'm not trying to pick a fight...it's just the truth.

[Jake]

I cook...I cook for my woman....I have never had a girlfriend who could cook worth a lick. I've never worked with or for a woman in a kitchen who could cook worth a lick. I'm not trying to pick a fight...it's just the truth.

Better luck in the future!

[jgarner53]

I guess I'm lucky. Mr. Garner and I decided long, long, loooooong ago to split the culinary tasks in our household such that he cooks one week, and I cook the next. He could make a few things when we met, and he's been learning ever since.

Though there was a long time when he'd call me into the kitchen (or bring the pan to wherever I was) to ask if something was done. "How do I know when the ground beef is 'brown?'" And he's desperatly anal about following recipes, so he's gotten more than frustrated if it says "Saute 8-10 minutes, or until golden," and it takes longer than 10 minutes.

He's not especially efficient at multi-tasking or pre-reading the recipe, so there are the times when we eat at 9:30 because he got started and realized the meat needed to marinate for an hour, or he hadn't preheated the oven, or made the rice, or whatever.

Whining aside, I have to say that I'm proud that he can cook and is willing to.

Strangely enough, he's not very good at grilling -- I though all men had the genetic ability to put meat and fire together?