Bones reveal chubby monks aplenty

[FaustianBargain]

mmmmmmmmmmmonks

Friar Tuck: This is grain, which any fool can eat, but for which the Lord intended a more divine means of consumption. Let us give praise to our maker and glory to his bounty by learning about... BEER. - Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves

What fun did the nuns have anyways? This beats anything a grumbling wife can dish out everyday. I am craving mutton gruel with garlic and onions now.

Friar's tucker

A 13th century Cluniac friar's possible daily intake based on Ms Patrick's studies:

11am-1pm Three eggs, boiled or fried in lard. Vegetable porridge with beans, leeks, carrots and other produce of monastery garden. Pork chops, bacon, and mutton. Capon, duck and goose with oranges. Half pound of bread, to use as sop. Peaches, strawberries and bilberries with egg flan. Four pints of small (watery) beer.

4-6pm Mutton gruel with garlic and onions. Posset of egg, milk and figs. Venison with rowanberries, figs, sloes, hazelnuts and apple. Stewed eels, herring, pike, dolphin, lamphreys, salmon, cod and trout. Half pound of bread as sop, sometimes soaked in dripping or lard. Syllabubs of fruit. Four pints of ale. Flagon of sack or other French, Spanish or Portuguese wine.

[Jinmyo]

Holy schmoley.

[Gifted Gourmet]

The new evidence backs records from Westminster Abbey, showing that six eggs a day was normal for monks. In the middle ages, monkish obesity was Europe-wide. The Portuguese Cistercians had a test: monks unable to squeeze through a certain doorway at Alcobaca monastery's dining room had to fast while slimmer colleagues tucked into "pastry in vast abundance".

Chunky monk-eys??

Makes modern day "couch potatoes" look positively sleek and svelte ....

In the middle ages, monkish obesity was Europe-wide. globesity on a smaller scale??

Great article, Lalitha! Thanks!

[Mabelline]

Wow, 4500 calories while FASTING!?! How'd they do that?

Great article,for real.

[gingerly]

well supersize me!if that isn't an unholy coincidence!i've just spent a couple of days in quiet contemplation of all the good things that come out of convents and monasteries with a view to eventually mapping out possible points of pilgrimage.get thee to a nunnery and bring me a doggy bag!

"The marks of Dish keep appearing on their skeletons. It forms a coating on the spine like candlewax dripping down the side,"

[Jason Perlow]

Monks in the Middle Ages were among the most wealthiest -- and hated -- of all the class groups of that period. While the original concept was for them to live lives of piety and in silence, in reality towards the height of the medieval period, they amassed tremendous amounts of wealth (because busy rich people were paying them to pray so they could get into heaven) they ate lots of red meat (they got around this prohibition by allowing themselves to eat red meat in the hospital if they were ill -- so then everyone started eating in the hospital) and copious amounts of other food during their meals, had sex with prostitutes in bordellos they owned in nearby towns, drank beer to excess, and had private armies defending their monastaries.

If you are more interested in this, Terry Jones of Monty Python has a show on the History Channel called "Terry Jones's Medieval Lives" that has an episode all about this.

[Pickles]

That was a great article. That sure was a HELL of a lot of food, though....

And now..for a joke:

A nun was travelling in very poor weather, and needed a place to ride out

a storm. She came to a monastery, where the resident brothers took her in, and

gave her some dry clothes, a bed, and a hot meal of

the best fish and chips the nun had ever tasted. She asked politely if

she might meet the the brothers who made the meal.

The abbot escorted the nun to the kitchen,

where two brothers were hard at work. They each greeted with a smile. The

nun smiled in return, and asked, "Are you the two brothers who made this

evening's repast?"

"Yes," they said in unison. The first then said:

"I am Brother Arthur, the fish friar."

The other grinned very broadly, then declared:

"And I am Brother Alvin, the chip monk."

-----

*runs and hides*

[Mabelline]

Cute! And apropo.

[FaustianBargain]

speaking of nuns...yesterday we did a recipe called Pets de Nonne and unless I was dozing off after an eight-hour day, it apparently means...and I kid you not... 'Nun's Farts'...can anyone confirm this?

[Mabelline]

Sure sounds better in the French...

[Pickles]

speaking of nuns...yesterday we did a recipe called Pets de Nonne and unless I was dozing off after an eight-hour day, it apparently means...and I kid you not... 'Nun's Farts'...can anyone confirm this?

I can. They're very light, and presumably, they smell good; that why. And there are pastries called "Nun's Breasts" and "Nun's Tummies" as well.

Chapter Header for this book in my collection: Lady Fingers & Nuns Tummies:A Lighthearted Look At How Foods Got Their Names. Martha Barnette:

Angel's Hair, Devil's Droppings, Nun's Tummies, and Monk's Balls.

Edited July 17, 2004 by Pickles (log)

[gingerly]

all begin with one fart of nun

and a chocolate eclair in the employ of the abbaye of marmoutier..

ok go back to the french original then!

[Mabelline]

That's a hilarious translation...I'm still laughing about they made it in 1560, but had to wait till 1750 for it to be chou pastry and not cabbages.

[gingerly]

cheers!

[Susan G]

Monks in the Middle Ages were among the most wealthiest -- and hated -- of all the class groups of that period. While the original concept was for them to live lives of piety and in silence, in reality towards the height of the medieval period, they amassed tremendous amounts of wealth (because busy rich people were paying them to pray so they could get into heaven)

And let's not forget the tithing, a minimum of 10% of the annual income of the citizen of the towns. And the endowments for expiation of sins. The children of families who weren't eligible to inherent a title often went to monasteries - and brought with them the deeds to land as a "dowry". I believe it was the sort of person who went to the monastery which made them hated: Raised in a life of wealth and (relative) comfort, they were accustomed to viewing themselves as more deserving than most.

I've read that the abbott of a medieval monastery was akin to a CEO of a large multinational company!

[Pan]

It's almost unbelievable that that litany of foods was eaten in one day by one person!

[FaustianBargain]

cheers!

ahh..carmina burana...i'd imagine the church in germany would have been a tad diff tho'...as a collector of various classical and modern versions of carmina burana(including techno, i shit you not)...i have always been fascinated about the kind of 'defrocked monks' who'd have come up with such beautiful lyrics...turns out that they were rebels against the church..ex-monks...who thrived on drink and sex...and 'courtly' love...as the medevial folks would like to call it...they became outlaws..on the run from the church..the lyrics were the naughty monks' but the orchestration of what we now know as carmina burana is entirely carl orff's...when i first heard frankie goes to hollywood's relax...i couldnt help but think of veni, veni, veneas... ...a modern version...

with the same romantic notions...in concept atleast... as far as i know...is greece's own popular street singing called Rembetika..(the wiki entry for this is pathetic..google should give you something better)...i was quite puzzled by the translations of some of the greek lyrics at first, to be honest...its grating..alien...and utterly incomprehensible...i just couldnt understand the appeal...but you got to listen to it with a greek rembetika fan(mine is an old fart from the golden age...), preferably inebrieated, speak about it in dreamy tones...its almost as if you are transported to a different world...where pain..lust...and the everyday chore of breathing, eating and sleeping...listen to it with someone who can translate it for you...

[FaustianBargain]

It's almost unbelievable that that litany of foods was eaten in one day by one person!

Oh...

Pan, Mr.Creosote...

Mr.Creosote, Pan...

[Andrew Fenton]

cheers!

ahh..carmina burana...i'd imagine the church in germany would have been a tad diff tho'...

Just to bring this back to food, I'll mention that the restaurant outside the abbey at Benediktbeuern (aka the "Burana" of Carmina Burana ) serves awesome food even today. In particular, their dumplings (which in most South German restaurants are heavy and nasty) are delicate and tasty. Made with leftover pretzels, I think. I could be a monk there, no problem.

Kloster Benediktbeuern

[Mabelline]

I just cannot fathom how somone can be fasting but consuming so much. All my life a fast has had a sacred connotation of purifying oneself with certain things allowed for a space of days, such as blue corn meal cooked into a certain small marble type of offering, and water.Over a five day fast, it wouldn't touch that many calories. I guess illuminating those manuscripts was a lot heavier labor than ever imagined?

[FaustianBargain]

I just cannot fathom how somone can be fasting but consuming so much. All my life a fast has had a sacred connotation of purifying oneself with certain things allowed for a space of days, such as blue corn meal cooked into a certain small marble type of offering, and water.Over a five day fast, it wouldn't touch that many calories. I guess illuminating those manuscripts was a lot heavier labor than ever imagined?

i think christian fasting always had economic rationalisation...maybe even dietary sensibility after a season of excess...e.g. lent...i remember a case study about the economic impact the decree of the pope having on the supply/demand/price of fish...

I am speaking to my Rembetika guide pal as i am typing this and he says 'its called tessarakosti or sarakosti...those 40 days, fish is ok..but meat is not..seafood is ok..clams, calamari..even octopus' (this is where I express a 'huh' moment')fasting on calamari...and quoting him again(btw..i didnt mention the above article).....'and the monk baptised the meat 'fish' and everyone was happy'......

i am sure every religion/culture incorporates economic guidelines re food...kosher laws, halal laws, hindu aversion to meat..(hinduism..i have explored this a bit to justify first my inherited vegetarianism and later my leap to the other side... buddhism, i just dont get)...its a form of regulation, as it were...if the govt told you to watch what you eat, you'll ask'em to shove it where it belongs..on the other hand..eternal damnation..a reserved seat in heaven..moral superiority..etc..we are all still human, you know...

[Mabelline]

Our fasts aren't meant to do anymore than ready your mind and body for a clarification of visions...I guess in a modern context it would seem to associate extreme hunger with prophetic 'visions' or delusions; but, as a Native American, it seems to have worked for a lot of leaders--there is a long history of warrior cults disagreeing with the spiritual headmen and precipatating disaster, as a result.

I am aware that the many different religions view a fast as a vastly different thing, but I've always kind of suspected they evolve from prehistory.

My only point about the 4500 calorie fasting diet was as a funny. I am sure I would have a hard time fasting while toting up that score--maybe I'd need to drop a couple loaves, and a 1/2 pound of fat, no?

[gingerly]

.i have always been fascinated about the kind of 'defrocked monks' who'd have come up with such beautiful lyrics...

beautiful indeed-words and orff's music but i guess there's still enough of a carnivore in me that responds to the poor swans laments'( i see bare teeth!')with mirth rather than solemnity!a work in progress..

[Hest88]

Why is this such a surprise? Anyone who's seen any Robin Hood movie knows that Friar Tuck was a chubbette.

[tryska]

all begin with one fart of nun

and a chocolate eclair in the employ of the abbaye of marmoutier..

ok go back to the french original then!

now that was my moment of zen.