The Ultimate Spilling Food On Yourself Topic

[torakris]

I noticed a bunch of breast remarks popping up all over the boards today and have linked them back to this thread! So jealousy--oops curiosity brought me over, no cleavage spills here because I have no cleavage

but I am a notorious spiller, I have eliminated spills on my clothes while cooking by wearing my husband's clothes! then let him figure out where that stain came from..................

my most devastating spill was the summer of 1982, I was 12 years old and babysitting for a neighbors three kids. I was wearing my brand new white Gloria Vanderbilt jeans, that took a lot of babysitting money to save up for. While opening a can of tuna fish for lunch, I somehow managed to spill all of the oil onto my upper right thigh, the pants were ruined. I still cry while I think about it.

[elyse]

Most embarrassing stain was when I was a waiter, I accidentally spilled coffee on a bride while she was waiting outside the chapel about to walk down the aisle..........a coffee urn, not just a little cup.

What a travesty. Especially the way women typically view their wedding day. Hoo boy!

[canoodle]

Thanks for the warm welcome In reply to "what does that have to do with breasts?" - I guess you'll just have to surmise that since I didn't get a drop on my (ahem) chest whilst clutching the bowl to it, ...

After taking a mouthful of boiling hot coffee..what ever you do next is wrong.

[canoodle]

Er...finally figured out how to add a signature.

[elyse]

Okay. I have a drinking problem. Drinking from my waterbottle, I leak out of the corners of my mouth. With glasses, the same happens, and I sometimes tilt the glass before it hits my mouth. Sometimes, if someone's sitting next to me and talking to me, I might turn my head to hear them, mid-tilting to my mouth, pouring onto the side of my face. Lots of times, I tilt the glass waaay too much, causing the liquid to run up my nose, and of course out the sides of my glass, and time to time into my ears. Then, of course, there's laughing while drinking. I am SO lucky I have quick hand-covering-mouth reflexes. There's also the crashing the glass against my teeth thing, or aiming too high or too low. I also miss my mouth with forks. Is that it with liquid? By the way, I HATE the new beer and soda cans with the wide holes. I ALWAYS get the catfish spills.

Food related. Well, if I'm eating anything crisp and breakable, my teeth connect so that they break said crisp thing in two the wrong way. I can usually only catch one half, OR mush both halves into my chin and cheeks. The lost half usually tumbles down into my lap leaving a trail of residue. That is unless it falls into my cleavage and I either have to retrieve it with my fingers, or lean over and coax it out by jiggling the ole bra. Anyway, I try to eat things with two hands, like a squirrel.

Salad dressing (since I use too much) usually flings itself somewhere on my shirt or face. Sometimes lettuce will fall from the fork, and roll down my shirt or stick to my chest. Long pasta untwirls itself regularly and slaps me under my chin and sometimes down my neck if I'm lucky, where it sticks. Short pasta and other bite sized pieces of food will also fall off the fork , and tumble down or fall in.

I can't say there's been any best or worst spills, just many, many.

[Suzanne F]

So jealousy--oops curiosity brought me over, no cleavage spills here because I have no cleavage

Don't worry, Kristin, you're in good company: Snowangel has told us -- and backed up with a photo, although not for that reason -- that she too is mammarily-challenged. And of the eGullet members on my list of "I wish I were more like . . . " she's way up there (you, too). So cheer up!

[essvee]

I have a food-related album cover. "Cognac and Bologna" by Doug and the Slugs. Features a huge stack of baloney dripping with mustard and ketchup flanked by snifters and candlesticks. Funny.

[Lounge Lizard]

Anyone with braces? My wife just had them put on her at teeth at the ripe old age of thirty. Lots of spillage! Not to mention the amount of dinner left behind in the wires after she eats.

Lost 20 lbs in no time.

[Laughing Goddess]

What do you guys use to remove stains? Rachel uses SHOUT, with a modicum of success. But some things never come out entirely.

if i may be so bold jason, i'm always impressed at how stain-free your shirts are when i see you at the beginning of dinner.

Thank you.

When Jason says I use Shout. I don't just use Shout. I use Shout Gel. The trigger bottles of Shout or Spray & Wash do not work as well as Shout Gel. The Spray & Wash stick is OK, but the Gel with the scrubby brush on top is the best. My laundry day mostly consists of spreading out Jason's shirts in front of me, one at a time, and scrubbing Shout Gel into each stain. Then I wash them with a pre-wash or soak cycle with a regular detergent like Tide or Arm & Hammer in our front loading Whirlpool Duet washer.

These shirts I speak of are mostly t-shirts and golf shirts. Nice button down (especially white) shirts go to the cleaners.

Yup, Rachel's right. The Shout Gel with the scrubby thing on top is great.

Worst cleavage/food accident I've ever had: I was out with a bunch of friends somewhere in Nova Scotia, eating oysters by the ocean, when one of my friends said something funny just as I was dropping an oyster in my mouth. I burst out laughing, tried to catch the oyster in my hand, but it fell in my cleavage. EWWWW! CREEPY!

I screamed and jumped up, dancing around, and finally reached down and scooped the creature out of my cleavage, and threw it in the sand.

I didn't eat oysters for a long time -- I finally got over it!

Men are terribly amused at women dropping food in the cleavage -- and often offer to lick the offending item away. Geez, you don't think I let EVERYONE lick my boobies, do ya?

[KateW]

Anyone with braces? My wife just had them put on her at teeth at the ripe old age of thirty. Lots of spillage! Not to mention the amount of dinner left behind in the wires after she eats.

Lost 20 lbs in no time.

My fiance is going to have to get braces--he's 25. Also he is going to get his wisdom teeth out in a couple weeks. I sense a couple good "spillage" moments coming up.

[elyse]

Well, why didn't you eat it?

That was for Laughing Goddess.

Edited August 30, 2003 by elyse (log)

[Laughing Goddess]

Elyse -- because it felt so creepy on my boobs, I didn't want it in my mouth! It was my first time trying oysters. I mean, you have to admit, oysters feel and look like phlegm.

Now back to the boobs: for some reason, when I drink beer, it will someimes dribble down my chin and neck into my cleavage. But it only happens with beer, not wine, not mixed drinks, not water...

Must have to do with the fact I'm drinking it from the can.

Will probably happen sometime this evening, because I'm drinking beer out of the can right now.

[tommy]

Elyse -- because it felt so creepy on my boobs, I didn't want it in my mouth!  It was my first time trying oysters.  I mean, you have to admit, oysters feel and look like phlegm.

there's a vivid picture in my head right now. and one i'm not afraid to say i'm none too proud of.

[beans]

elyse:

I think we both eat the same stuff that spills in the same way!

My spills are different. And for unknown reasons it is *always* Jägermeister! One sweltering afternoon I came into work and changed in our little employee room into my fresh uniform. I go upstairs to the bar and realized the a/c was really cold! Well, I jump right in and find out a customer wanted that one microbrew in the farthest of the far corners of the beer cooler. I had already quickly poured a couple of shots of Jäger and thought I wiped up any splashes. I lean over and grab another darned microbrew beer for that customer. Grrr, I *think* I brushed up against a few dribbles of the purple spill.

Yup. Two perfect spots. At least it made my grumpy coworker giggle.

Note to self: always carry around those little Shout packets. You never know.

[Laughing Goddess]

Tommy,

Edited August 30, 2003 by Laughing Goddess (log)

[elyse]

Elyse -- because it felt so creepy on my boobs, I didn't want it in my mouth!  It was my first time trying oysters.  I mean, you have to admit, oysters feel and look like phlegm.

Then you should read this on oysters. A good initiation to eGullet.

I don't eat seafood, so clam snot is definitely out of the question. BUT, I do eat whatever I can retrieve from the girls.

[elyse]

elyse: 

I think we both eat the same stuff that spills in the same way!

My spills are different.  And for unknown reasons it is *always* Jägermeister!  One sweltering afternoon I came into work and changed in our little employee room into my fresh uniform.  I go upstairs to the bar and realized the a/c was really cold!  Well, I jump right in and find out a customer wanted that one microbrew in the farthest of the far corners of the beer cooler.  I had already quickly poured a couple of shots of Jäger and thought I wiped up any splashes.  I lean over and grab another darned microbrew beer for that customer.  Grrr, I *think* I brushed up against a few dribbles of the purple spill.

Yup.  Two perfect spots.  At least it made my grumpy coworker giggle.

Note to self:  always carry around those little Shout packets.  You never know. 

beans Jagermeister's purple?

[FoodZealot]

Sorry to be off topic, but recently a bottle of Tapatio hot sauce broke open near my foot and splashed all over my shoes and socks. I wiped it up as best I could. No problem, wet socks. On the 30 minute drive home, however, the sock soaked in hot sauce started to burn something fierce. Of course, it was such a dumbass move on my part that I couldn't allow myself to pull over to remove the offending sock. I made myself suffer through it. Sorry for the low culture reference, but it was exactly like in Ace Ventura II when he gets the spear in the thigh, then another spear in the other thigh, complete with arm motions and pathetic whining noises.

Now back to boobs and vivid mental pictures. [grin]

~Tad

[beans]

FoodZealot -- ouch! Hot sauce on my toes I think I'd probably be stomping the accelerator out of pain and in a hurry to get somewhere to whip that sock out the window to dispose of it a quick as possbile!

elyse -- Two purple, kinda brownish (think cough syrup) small stains on my just washed, pastel blue shirt!

[Laughing Goddess]

Elyse -- because it felt so creepy on my boobs, I didn't want it in my mouth!  It was my first time trying oysters.  I mean, you have to admit, oysters feel and look like phlegm.

Then you should read this on oysters. A good initiation to eGullet.

LOL!

that thread reminds me of when I was in Ireland last summer, and one of our friends was a 19 year old from Arkansas who had never had mussels before and was unsure about ordering them. But my friend Rose told him, "Just think of them as little clits."

He ordered 'em, and he liked 'em!

[jmcgrath]

I was having dinner with some friends at the East Coast Grill in Cambridge, MA. Pasta from Hell was my appetizer and I was slurping those noodles down until one of them backlashed and hit me in the eye. Hot sauce on the foot can't come close to comparing with what I went through. I was not only in agonizing pain, I was also blind in one eye. That was an endorphin rush!

[elyse]

Elyse -- because it felt so creepy on my boobs, I didn't want it in my mouth!  It was my first time trying oysters.  I mean, you have to admit, oysters feel and look like phlegm.

Then you should read this on oysters. A good initiation to eGullet.

LOL!

that thread reminds me of when I was in Ireland last summer, and one of our friends was a 19 year old from Arkansas who had never had mussels before and was unsure about ordering them. But my friend Rose told him, "Just think of them as little clits."

He ordered 'em, and he liked 'em!

Glad you liked it.

[Marmish]

I often get something on my shirt, although it's usually from cooking and not eating. I think I've done a fine job, and then my husband points out something I have leaned into, splattered, or otherwise schmeared on myself. I have to check the mirror or pull my shirt out to look because I can't see it over the mountains.

But in a rare occurrence, crumbs from the raspberry square thingy I bought at the coffee shop and tried to eat while driving on the Tri-State tollway did tumble into my cleavage. Luckily, it went straight through. That's not fun at 75 mph.

[Kimchi]

LOL! That oyster thread is gold! Gold!

[Laughing Goddess]

But in a rare occurrence, crumbs from the raspberry square thingy I bought at the coffee shop and tried to eat while driving on the Tri-State tollway did tumble into my cleavage. Luckily, it went straight through.  That's not fun at 75 mph.

Yeah, crumbs in the boobies tickle, don't they? You don't want crumbs in the cleavage at 75 mph.