Top 10 Hot Dog Lies

[John]

1) "We get our dogs made specially for us" Easily the most common lie in the business. Owners say this so that you will think you can only get a particular dog from them. There are exceptions, such as the Galloping Hill Inn and Marci's, but more than 9 times out of 10 it's a lie. I was disappointed to hear this lie repeated twice recently at Rutt's Hut. Of course I didn't sit by quietly but called them on it.

2) "We make our dogs here" Not as common as lie #1, but I've heard it more than a few times. Galloping Hill Inn and Maui's were guilty of this. I ask to see the sausage making equipment.

3)"Our dogs are smaller so we can fit in more toppings" Bull$hit. Get a bigger roll. Many serve smaller dogs, charge the same as those who serve bigger ones and count on you not noticing.

4) "We use skinless dogs because the elderly have a hard time chewing the casing" No you don't. You do it because skinless dogs are cheaper. I've heard this one a lot. Once a guy who was located in an industrial area and served mainly factory workers gave this as a reason. I doubt he had very many elderly customers.

5) "You'll like OUR veggie dogs" Whoever invented this abomination should be shot. If you don't want to eat a real hot dog, get a salad. A real hot dog is made from real meat. Beef. Pork. Veal. Buffalo. Or any combination. Anything made from poultry, fish, or whatever the hell they put in veggie dogs is not a hot dog. I don't care what the label calls it.

6) Adding stupid ingredients like truffles, foie gras, raspberry wasabi sauce, cream cheese, and other assorted crap and calling it a "haute dog" enhances the hot dog. No, it masks the flavor of it. A true hot dog was meant to be enjoyed with mustard and/or a minimum of toppings that enhance, not mask the frankfurter. You wouldn't put this crap on a high quality pastrami sandwich. It's trendy, pretentious, and more often than not the invention of a bored chef. These people ought to be lined up next to the veggie, salmon, and poultry dog people.

7) "It's a hot dog; no one can tell the difference" I get this when I ask why someone is using a cheap, low quality dog. This one may not even belong on the list because in many parts of the country, particularly the south, hardly anyone cares about the actual frank; it's more about the toppings. Especially the slaw in places like Virginia and Carolina where they use a cheap, bland dog.

8) "Our special chili is from a family recipe dating all the way back to the Garden of Eden" Many, if not most hot dog purveyors make their own chili. But a lot use the canned kind (which is not a crime) but try to pass it off as homemade.

9) "You're a hot dog snob" No, I'm not. That term is an oxymoron, like jumbo shrimp. We are talking about a simple, unpretentious food. I look for a quality frankfurter, prepared well whether it's in water, deep fried, griddled, grilled, or some combination: at a decent size served hot on a fresh bun. There's no such thing as a hot dog snob, although the "haute dog" people who gussie up their dogs with all sorts of esoteric crap and have them with expensive wine come close.

10) "Hot dogs are good for you" I've uttered this one myself in an effort to get my wife off my back for complaining that I eat too many double Italian Hot Dogs. I tried to tell her they are a healthy, well balanced meal containing bread, meat, vegetables, and potatoes. She wasn't having it.

[rlibkind]

Couldn't have said it betted! Especially the minimal toppings rant: guess that's why I'm not a fan of Chicago dogs that have walked through the garden, even when they use a quality Vienna Beef dog. Heck, I even prefer my "Syd's" dog boiled!

Best hot dog bargain: 50-centers at Ikea. Yeah, they're small and almost tasteless, but the''re cheap: you can get half a dozen for what you'd pay for just as tasteless a dog at the ballpark.

[Holly Moore]

Good list John.

Places add all the fancy gunk so they can charge $5 for a $2 hotdog.

[gfweb]

6) Adding stupid ingredients like truffles, foie gras, raspberry wasabi sauce, cream cheese, and other assorted crap and calling it a "haute dog" enhances the hot dog. No, it masks the flavor of it. A true hot dog was meant to be enjoyed with mustard and/or a minimum of toppings that enhance, not mask the frankfurter. You wouldn't put this crap on a high quality pastrami sandwich. It's trendy, pretentious, and more often than not the invention of a bored chef. These people ought to be lined up next to the veggie, salmon, and poultry dog people.

Oh yeah!

More stuff is not better.

Similar things can be said for pizza and burgers to a certain degree.

[minas6907]

Haha, I love the name 'haute dog!' Never heard that one!

[Martin Fisher]

I agree with all but this.....in regards to chili....

"But a lot use the canned kind (which is not a crime) but try to pass it off as homemade."

Canned chili IS a crime!!!!!!

~Martin

[Keith_W]

I enjoy a good rant as anyone else and yours was the most enjoyable rant I have read for a long time!

I realize you are in the USA, but here in Australia a "hot dog" might mean that you get a boiled sausage and a steamed bun. I have had my share of arguments with other Aussies about this crime against hot dogs, because to me a hot dog should be fried or grilled sausage on a toasted bun. Thankfully there is a gourmet hot dog movement where the sausages used are usually decent - either bratwurst, frankfurters, or kransky.

[Mofassah]

Brilliant rant, allthough somewhat not very applicable to the hot dog situation here where I live, in Norway. Here the standard hot odg is either a boiled wiener or a fried sausage. The fried sausage comes in many varieties, the cheap ones are skinless and tasteless ones, and would cost the same as the wiener. Over the last years however, we have had a great development in the sausage industry, and the major vendors of hot dogs now are all teh gas stations. They are so popular that they make more money on the hot dogs than they do on the gas, and the quality is actually damned good. The top seller is a long, thick sausage with cheese inside, and rolled in a long streak of bacon, and is almost a full meal. If I have two of them for lunch, I dont have to eat anymore that day.

Steamed buns doesn't exist here, but a toasted bun is mandatory. Toppings are simple, no slaw here, just mustard, ketchup, french dressing and either crispy fried onions, you know the processed sprinkly kind of shit that taste like the scrapings of your kitchen vent (yuck) or raw fine chopped onions. Mayonese based shrimp salad is quite popular too among us hot dog connoiseurs, but the regular ignorant doesnt understand the beauty of it and call it disgusting. Pffft.

Edited June 17, 2013 by Mofassah (log)

[LT Wong]

John, thanks for a great list - all so true.

10) "Hot dogs are good for you" I've uttered this one myself in an effort to get my wife off my back for complaining that I eat too many double Italian Hot Dogs. I tried to tell her they are a healthy, well balanced meal containing bread, meat, vegetables, and potatoes. She wasn't having it.

I have the same problem with my mom about eating too many hot dogs so I made my own. No complaints after that.

[SylviaLovegren]

Mayonese based shrimp salad is quite popular too among us hot dog connoiseurs, but the regular ignorant doesnt understand the beauty of it and call it disgusting. Pffft.

Call me ignorant!

(You're joking, right? You don't actually put shrimp salad on hot dogs... Right?)

[lancastermike]

Agreeing with Bob L. and Holly that less is more on a hot dog. I have a list of three items that I think can go on a hot dog.

Mustard

onions

Kraut-and light on the Kraut.

When I am at the ball park and see people pumping ketchup on their hot dog I want to go slap it right out of their hand.

I can understand a little pickle relish, but I don't use it.

Although I understand it to be a classic I just don't get the allure of the Chili Dog.

[rotuts]

good chili on a dog with snap is a heavenly experience.

usually its yellow mustard/ onions / steamed bun / dog with Snap.

other sausages are good, well almost any quality sausage goes well with a bun, but they are not Dogs.

[Martin Fisher]

good chili on a dog with snap is a heavenly experience.

usually its yellow mustard/ onions / steamed bun / dog with Snap.

other sausages are good, well almost any quality sausage goes well with a bun, but they are not Dogs.

X2

I agree!

~Martin

[rlibkind]

Brilliant rant, allthough somewhat not very applicable to the hot dog situation here where I live, in Norway. Here the standard hot odg is either a boiled wiener or a fried sausage. The fried sausage comes in many varieties,

There's a great hot dog stand in Bergen, across from the Fisketorget. Photos accompany this post.

On more than one occasion during my all-to-infrequent visits to Norway a couple of hot dogs at 7-Eleven or Narvesen has allowed me to eat in the cheap, a considerable achieve t in the land of $30 pizzas.

Here's a link to a blog post about Polse Porn:

http://norwaysaga2010.blogspot.com/2010/07/plse-prn.html

[Holly Moore]

Agreeing with Bob L. and Holly that less is more on a hot dog. I have a list of three items that I think can go on a hot dog.

Mustard

onions

Kraut-and light on the Kraut.

When I am at the ball park and see people pumping ketchup on their hot dog I want to go slap it right out of their hand.

I can understand a little pickle relish, but I don't use it.

Although I understand it to be a classic I just don't get the allure of the Chili Dog.

Mike,

I distinguish between chili dogs, especially those that have beans and the thinner, all-the-way sauce topping Coney Island dogs or Texas Wieners. A Coney or Texas Wiener sauce does great things to a hot dog.

A couple of recent Detroit Coneys from Philadelphia's American Sardine Bar.

[John]

Another long rant on the trendy "haute dog." I've cut and pasted from previous posts.

I don't really care for this current "haute dog" trend as well as chefs getting involved with hot dogs. I just posted about this on Roessler's facebook page in response to a link posted there on the same subject. A lot of what I posted is from some of my previous posts and comments. I'll cut and paste it below. One reason places do this is to drive up the price. Let me quote Holly Moore from the book Man Bites Dog. Holly, like myself prefers the minimal sausage because he doesn't think that "mixtures of flavors ought to be forced on a beautiful hot dog." The true hot dog is the product itself; the fancy ones are inauthentic. Hot dog establishments do this for several reasons. "One is that toppings can drive up the check so that you can sell a three dollar hot dog for five with junk on top of it. Second, the owner is not confident in just the hot dog and thinks that they have to do more to get any sales."

What follows are my opinions on the haute dog trend. Warning: it's a pretty long rant you may want to skip.

Not a fan of the trendy new "haute dogs". A hot dog is a simple unpretentious food. The focus should be on the meat and spices, not on esoteric junk that bored faux chefs use to amuse themselves and try to convince others how creative they are. These fancy pants ingredients detract from the frankfurter, which should be the focus of the experience. I can see them laughing at old school Jersey hot dog joints like Rutts Hut and Charlies Pool Room and questioning the manliness of these designer haute dogs. Or as a friend calls them, alternative lifestyle hot dogs. You don't buy a hot dog called a haute dog and you don't get it from a fancy chef. You get it from a guy in a tank top with hairy arms who is probably named Nick or Vinnie. Guys like this have sense enough not to use white truffle butter and duck foie gras.

The hot dog is an icon and an important part of American culture. People don't want it messed with. Two unfortunate souls in New Jersey (the hot dog capital of the world) learned this lesson the hard way. They tried to bring the "haute dog" concept here with predictable results. After much hype and fanfare plus glorious reviews by the biased liberal media, the place was struck by lightning! A sure sign from above and a warning to cease their foolishness. They did not listen, and as a result their business died a slow miserable death. The guys were never heard from again.

It was so bad that the rats and pigeons wouldn't even eat the left over scraps from the "haute dogs" that were in the dumpsters. Even rats and pigeons have standards!

Contrast this to Rutt's Hut, an old school Jersey hot dog legend. You can't even get across the parking lot without encountering pigeons who are so bold that they try to take bites of hot dogs from people who are walking to their cars. These pigeons are so brazen that they routinely shake down rats for lunch money.

Any faux "chef" would be appalled upon enetering this stronghold of American hot dogs. The decor hasn't changed since 1928. The only toppings you can get on your dogs would be mustard and Rutt's special relish. No kraut, no chili, no foie gras. If you ask, they not so politely tell you to go somewhere else. They stick to what made them a legend. Their loyal customers wouldn't stand for any frivolous changes. By the way, their relish is like no other and goes perfectly with their deep fried dogs. Created by an old German gentleman rather than some fancy pants "haute" chef. None other than the bambino himself, Babe Ruth, used to eat at Rutt's Hut

.

While todays "haute" ballplayers perform on steroids and amphetamines, the Babe, a true American hero, did it on hot dogs and beer from Rutt's Hut.

I find articles like these amusing. And I realize there are people who like these things. I just enjoy poking fun at what I consider a pretentious trend. For me the frankfurter is what I'm looking to enjoy. When you have all these other things masking the flavor of the actual frank, you might as well use a cheap dog. I call these creations witness protection dogs because it's hard to determine their true identity. When I enjoyed a Roesller's dog at Rawley's some 11 years ago, I had it with mustard only. I focused on the taste, spicing, preparation, and how hot the dog was. Everything else is secondary. Today when you see a hot dog establishment reviewed, you rarely hear what brand is served, if it has a casing, if it's all beef or a beef/pork blend, how it's prepared, whether grilled, fried, heated in water, or some combination. Instead the focus is on the toppings and other secondary things such as cute nicknames for the different dogs. By and large, they have it backwards. If you don't start with a quality frank, it doesn't much matter what you do to it. If you do have a quality frank, it doesn't need more than a bare minimum of toppings that enhance rather than take away from the flavor of the hot dog. Not everything needs to be gussied up. I don't want a chef anywhere near my hot dog. With regards to hot dogs, less is definitely more.

[janeer]

Amen, John. Do like the Sonoran dogs in Tucson where I spend most of my year, but the simple grilled high quality natural casing dog with mustard and a little onion on a good bun (like I get when I go home for the summer) is perfect.

[Brown Hornet]

I'm generally a less-is-more kind of guy, but I've got to stand up for the classic Chicago hot dog. At least for me, the standard toppings on a Chicago dog (cucumber/pickle, tomato, onions, mustard, relish, celery salt) don't fight or cover up the underlying hot dog taste so much as provide balance and texture to enhance the hot dog. A well executed Chicago dog is a perfect balance of salty/sweet, texture, and umami.

Now a brat is a different story. If you even think of putting anything other than a little mustard or kraut on one of my brats we're going to have a fight.

[rlibkind]

Now a brat is a different story. If you even think of putting anything other than a little mustard or kraut on one of my brats we're going to have a fight.

Not even beer-braised onions?

[rotuts]

brats also might enjoy a bun that was somewhat more toothsome.

[Holly Moore]

If you can remove the hot dog from a gunked up hot dog and not notice any difference in taste, you are serving a sandwich, not a hot dog.

[Mofassah]

Mayonese based shrimp salad is quite popular too among us hot dog connoiseurs, but the regular ignorant doesnt understand the beauty of it and call it disgusting. Pffft.

Call me ignorant!

(You're joking, right? You don't actually put shrimp salad on hot dogs... Right?)

Nope, I'm dead serious. It's really nice, especially on one of them long chunky ones.

[rotuts]

well ... lo salt SPAM or regular SPAM that you desalt is not so bad

....

so maybe SPAM know more than we do .................

[Mofassah]

Brilliant rant, allthough somewhat not very applicable to the hot dog situation here where I live, in Norway. Here the standard hot odg is either a boiled wiener or a fried sausage. The fried sausage comes in many varieties,

There's a great hot dog stand in Bergen, across from the Fisketorget. Photos accompany this post.

On more than one occasion during my all-to-infrequent visits to Norway a couple of hot dogs at 7-Eleven or Narvesen has allowed me to eat in the cheap, a considerable achieve t in the land of $30 pizzas.

Here's a link to a blog post about Polse Porn:

http://norwaysaga2010.blogspot.com/2010/07/plse-prn.html

ImageUploadedByTapatalk1371498527.942412.jpg

Wow. Imagine that. Finding the very "Trekroneren" mentioned here at EG, that's pretty cool for me. I grew up in Bergen, and I must have bought hundreds of hot dogs from Trekroneren over the years. It was mandatory to stop there and much down a couple of dogs after a moist evening out when I was in the clubbing age. Trekroneren is most likely the best hot dog vendor in Norway. The name means "three crowns", which was the price for a hot dog when this little kiosk opened many many years ago. Three Norwegian "kroner" (crowns) is about 50 cent. Thanks!

Edited June 21, 2013 by Mofassah (log)

[Lupinus]

Imagine my chagrin after leaving NJ for SC and ordering a hot dog

We have a local place here with a few locations, not quite large enough to call it a chain or anything. Home made chili that is excelent, but the cheapest little flavorless mystery meat hot dog possible. The chili is it's saving grace and the reason I eat them. But I'm constantly reminding myself that the thing would go from good to excelent with a decent hot dog.