Culinary Signs of the Apocalypse: 2012–

[Peter Green]

Hello Cthulhu?

I see a whole world of merchandising in this concept!!

[SylviaLovegren]

Apparently in an effort to hasten the End of Days, Coors' will be debuting iced tea flavoured beer in April. If you find this depressing, Cupcake vodka (mentioned in this same article), is there to help you kill enough brain cells to enable you to forget that people have evidently lost track of the fact that booze is for grownups.

Our local liquor store was featuring Cupcake Vodka, Vanilla Vodka, and some other "cake-flavored" vodkas the other day. When I made some comment about gag-inducing, the clerk said "oh no, they're fabulous, lots of fun at parties and they really do taste like cake!" Oy.

[Mjx]

Pizza Beer. I love pizza and am capable of appreciating beer, and I get having them together, but... I have a bad feeling about this.

[Toliver]

You can now buy Olive Garden products ("signature ingredients") at Sam's Club. Square mozzarella anyone?

[Dakki]

SPAM for the Mall Ninja set: Tactical Bacon. Only $16.95 for a 9 oz can!

[Mjx]

It's getting harder and harder to find chinotto soda... in Italy, dammit.

[mkayahara]

It's getting harder and harder to find chinotto soda... in Italy, dammit.

That's depressing.

[mkayahara]

Mashed potato dispensers: For when instant mashed potatoes aren't instant enough. http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/technology-blog/7-eleven-ridiculous-mashed-potato-dispenser-could-u-171738860.html

[Brown Hornet]

This:

http://www.bigtopcupcake.com/

[Darienne]

This:

http://www.bigtopcupcake.com/

I'm speechless. And double the offer if I order right now!

[Pierogi]

In my local Pavilions market, which is the upscale branch of the Safeway chain in SoCal.....

Guy Fieri sausages and frozen pizzas. With Guy's face plastered all over the packaging, which would certainly kill any appetite I had to start with.

One of which (the pizzas) was a dessert pizza touted as a "S'mores Pizza" with a graham cracker crust, chocolate sauce and marshmallow topping. I can only shudder to think how the marshmallow (which are pretty gross to begin with IMHO) stands up to freezing.

The sausages all had some inane name like "Howdy Doody Andouille" and "Slamma Jamma Chili Bamma" or some such thing. I exaggerate on these, but only by a little.

Edit---that pesky spellling thing.

Edited August 24, 2012 by Pierogi (log)

[Mjx]

Marabou chocolate flavoured Philadelphia cream cheese: http://www.philadelp...a1&PagecRef=798.

The caption says, 'Let yourself be surprised'.

Saw a billboard for this last night, coming home from a dinner party; I didn't feel surprised, I felt 'Holy-hell-I'm-much-drunker-than-I-thought', so I had to look it up today, to see whether it actually existed outside my red-wine-inflamed mind.

It does.

Is this a thing anywhere else, or are the Philadelphia people just pranking Denmark?

[BeeZee]

nope, unfortunately they are marketing chocolate-flavored cream cheese here in the States, too. I can't wrap my head around it.

[pastrygirl]

Cadbury non-melting chocolate:

http://www.latimes.com/business/money/la-fi-mo-cadbury-chocolate-melt-candy-20121127,0,7886136.story?track=rss&utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+MoneyCompany+%28Money+%26+Company%29

[liuzhou]

This is beyond bad.

It is a Chinese brand of those little triangles of spreadable gunk which are labelled as 'cheese' but which bear no resemblance to anything remotely close to anything I consider to be cheese.

For some reason, no doubt while rabidly drunk, the manufacturers of this atrocity have decided to up the stakes and now seem to think that what we really need is processed gunk with blueberries!

I tried it out of a sense of duty. I've eaten all sorts. Give me the inner organs of fowls and beasts, give me barbecued cockroaches, give me camels' eyeballs. But get this muck out of my sight! I'd rather have botulism salad!

[jsmeeker]

I can't by a Twinkie.

It's looking like the Mayans might be right about 2012

[SylviaLovegren]

Cadbury non-melting chocolate:

http://www.latimes.c...oney & Company)

I know! What is the POINT of non-melting chocolate? I already hate most of the expensive 90% chocolate bars that are around because they are crisp and brittle and don't melt at body temperature, and they crunch when you bite them. Chocolate should not crunch, it should melt in a lovely bittersweet puddle of deliciousness. What is the world coming to?

[liuzhou]

Have Cadbury started making chocolate? There may yet be hope. They have made a lot of stuff for years. Nothing I would have called chocolate.

[ChrisTaylor]

How about the growing ... acceptance of products that are pitched as organic but are actually really disgusting? I mean, it might be organic and have magic woo power ... but if it doesn't taste anywhere near as nice as the evil version I'm not going to buy it.

[SylviaLovegren]

How about the growing ... acceptance of products that are pitched as organic but are actually really disgusting? I mean, it might be organic and have magic woo power ... but if it doesn't taste anywhere near as nice as the evil version I'm not going to buy it.

Example? I can't think what you're describing.

[LindaK]

Spotted at a trade show, frozen food section...Just in time for the holidays.

[phatj]

I saw those at my local Acme for $55. I thought about it, not gonna lie, but ultimately I didn't trust that it would be any good. I see reviews are generally favorable, however.

[Creola]

These have been available in Louisiana for some time . The meat departments of stores put them out fresh or frozen as do butcher shops.Different types of stuffings are available.

[jrshaul]

If you find this depressing, Cupcake vodka (mentioned in this same article), is there to help you kill enough brain cells to enable you to forget that people have evidently lost track of the fact that booze is for grownups.

Actual interaction between two friends:

"Dan, is that cupcake flavored vodka?"

"Yes."

"Do you know what goes well with cupcake-flavored vodka?"

"No?"

"Underage girls with daddy issues."

"Hmm."

(pause)

"I suppose it does."

Spotted at a trade show, frozen food section...Just in time for the holidays.

I jumped the shark on posting without reading the whole thread.

Dan bought one of these for thanksgiving, and roasted it straight frozen.

I didn't try any. Years of working at Papa John's has apparently made him immune to food poisoning.

I wonder how many more references to the man will result of this thread?

Edited December 5, 2012 by jrshaul (log)

[xxchef]

Will your next burger be ground-up mealworms?

The wriggly beetle larvae known as mealworms could one day dominate supermarket shelves as a more sustainable alternative to chicken, beef, pork and milk, researchers in the Netherlands say. Full srticle here... http://www.foxnews.c...d-up-mealworms/