Most Creepy and Disgusting Dive Bar

[elyse]

I think he took over the Pakistani restaurant nextdoor--and if he makes his usual improvements--will probably just screw in a few red light bulbs, maybe haul out a ratty, jiz-encrusted couch and open for business. Can't wait.

Report back on The Cell. How do you know it's only jiz? Slightly sexist, don't you think?

[tommy]

and where exactly is the Cell. or did i miss it .

[Wilfrid]

If it's the Pakistani restaurant next door, that narrows it down. Of course, if one has to recognize the entrance by the color light bulb outside, it may still be tricky.

So, a beefsteak at Beacon, then all back to the Cell, right?

[Liza]

Can be especially tricky if you're already seeing colored lights already.

[Stephanie]

The photo on the cover of New York City's Best Dive Bars (mentioned by Wilf above): Looks like the dive on Greenwich Ave.  Some good nights in there.

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/09703125...01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

That's the Village Den. I used to live around the corner.

The Village Den is actually the diner on the corner. It used to be fairly scruffy for a diner, but it's been totally spruced up, interior-wise. (No idea how good the food is.) I didn't think that bar, which is on Greenwich Avenue proper, had a name at all.

[elyse]

The Village Den is actually the diner on the corner.  It used to be fairly scruffy for a diner, but it's been totally spruced up, interior-wise.  (No idea how good the food is.)  I didn't think that bar, which is on Greenwich Avenue proper, had a name at all.

Hmmm... now I shall have to check it out. I never thought the coffee shop was scruffy at all.

I forgot about a lovely evening at the old Siberia. Bottles of beer and "The Wicker Man." Oh holy night!

[Joy]

anyone see this week's time out? they shot a fashion spread at siberia.

[harriet1954]

Anyone who's ever lived or travelled through this area would agree that South Jersey is the home of the SKANKY ROADHOUSE! I dated someone for three years who was captain of two APA pool (read billiards) teams, and these were bar teams. You cannot imagine the biker bars I sat in twice weekly, getting sloshed, watching the games, and eating bar food. I was never in any danger, but my eyes would soak up less-than-ideal surroundings.

And the ladies' rooms!!! LOL!!! One had a shower curtain instead of a door to the stall. I was invited into a men's room (JUST TO SEE SOMETHING, mind you) that had a waist high urinal filled with ICE - it didn't flush so they kept ICE in it instead - GOOD GOD!!!

For free on-top-of-the-bar dancing by patrons and having beer thrown on you "by accident", please stop by The Pepperidge in beautiful Atco, NJ.

If you want to (literally) tie your horse to a tree in the back so you don't get a DUI, may I suggest the Oak Grove Bar in Sicklerville, NJ, which was once a one-room schoolhouse. Shockingly, their ladies' room was really nicely decorated and very clean. It's the smallest bar I've ever been in.

Wondering why that door is duct-taped? Step into the gloomy 2-Z's in prosperous Somerdale, NJ on the White Horse Pike and ask around.

Wish that man would lift his head up off the bar? Further down the WHP is The Little Spot, where you'll feel like you're in kindergarten at nap time.

And if anyone's ever heard of Ott's Greentop in Berlin, NJ...why, just let me know. We can swap stories and I'll tell you about my "old life".

I could go on and on.

[Jaymes]

You want "creepy and disgusting"?

How's this:

When I was younger (and therefore cuter) I hung out occasionally with a sometime boyfriend at a genuinely creepy and disgusting dive bar. He was president of his fraternity, but for some reason, he liked it - feeling, I guess, that this place would rub off his (admittedly annoying) preppy edges.

Frequently we'd go there and order a "schooner" or "pitcher" or some other container-specific amount of draft beer, and be told that "we're all out of pitchers (or whatever) because they all got broken in the fight last night."

And at least twice a year, you'd read in the newspaper about a stabbing in the parking lot at 3am.

And then there was the time that this big fat hairy gross biker guy came over to me (choosing me for no particular reason that I could discern), lifted up his black Harley T-shirt (with the sleeves ripped out) to expose his large tummy, took his two hands and rolled his navel into a hairy slit, and asked me, "Do you have one of these?"

That was plenty "creepy and disgusting," I'll tell you.

Not to mention the worst "pick-up line" THIS girl had ever heard.

Edited March 30, 2003 by Jaymes (log)

[NeroW]

And then there was the time that this big fat hairy gross biker guy came over to me (choosing me for no particular reason that I could discern), lifted up his black Harley T-shirt (with the sleeves ripped out) to expose his large tummy, took his two hands and rolled his navel into a hairy slit, and asked me, "Do you have one of these?"

That was plenty "creepy and disgusting," I'll tell you.

Not to mention the worst "pick-up line" THIS girl had ever heard.

   

That rocks.

[bigbear]

.....

And then there was the time that this big fat hairy gross biker guy came over to me (choosing me for no particular reason that I could discern), lifted up his black Harley T-shirt (with the sleeves ripped out) to expose his large tummy, took his two hands and rolled his navel into a hairy slit, and asked me, "Do you have one of these?"

That was plenty "creepy and disgusting," I'll tell you.

.....

Was he there the next night?

[harriet1954]

I forgot to ask if anyone in Los Angeles remembers Barney's Beanery on Little Santa Monica Blvd. I lived in the San Fernando Valley from 1980 to 1984 and we had a few interesting dining experiences out there.

I remember my ex-husband and I trying to eat dinner in a booth there while someone's butt and poolstick was in my face as they bent over trying to line up a shot.

I wonder if I still have one of their match covers which said, "No Fag**ts Allowed". I could not believe I was reading this on a matchbook cover, but I was. Looking back I am so horrified we even went back, for that reason alone, but HE insisted...no wonder we're divorced.

The most fascinating thing about Barney's Beanery though was that they had like 115 kinds of hotdogs and 100 kinds of hamburgers.

[Jaymes]

.....

And then there was the time that this big fat hairy gross biker guy came over to me (choosing me for no particular reason that I could discern), lifted up his black Harley T-shirt (with the sleeves ripped out) to expose his large tummy, took his two hands and rolled his navel into a hairy slit, and asked me, "Do you have one of these?"

That was plenty "creepy and disgusting," I'll tell you.

.....

Was he there the next night?

You silly Bigbear, is that YOU???

[Wilfrid]

Thank you, Jaymes.

Meantime, I walked past Monte Tecla at the weekend, which brought back some memories. On Eight Avenue in the theater district, it's been closed for a couple of years now, but I see no new business has dared invade it's malodorous premises. This was a Latin-run dive, smoky and grim. The regular clientele seemed to be Cubans, still wearing the white suits and fedoras in which they left Havana around the time of the revolution, playing cards and drinking tequila. I also have a vague memory of a woman of around ninety, dressed in a Flamenco costume with heavy, heavy make-up, clearing the tables. A different world.

[Jaymes]

  Thank you, Jaymes.

Well, hey - you asked.

Remember? "Creepy and disgusting"? YOUR words?

What's that they say about "if you can't stand the answer...."? Oh yeah.... "don't ask the question."

[atomictv]

There's this bar in Baltimore County 5 min. from my house called MY FRIEND'S TAVERN. Light-up sign out front of two beer mugs in fists clinking together with the foam gushing out. You have to drive thru a trailer park to get to it, it's like a set out of a movie. So we all call it the trailer park bar. I've even taken John Waters to it. The heaviest gals wear the tiniest belly shirts and dance with weasel-faced boys who look like Eminem. The place just exudes sex and you know after last call these kids are going to go home and rut and make ugly babies. No wonder Baltimore won the award for ugliest people. I wouldn't want to live anyplace else. On Thursday night it's free hot dog night and to set themselves apart from the competition they run ads mentioning that they have free hot dogs AND polish dogs. Unlike the other bars' free hot dog nights. And on the weekend MF's is 2-for-1 till 11pm--I can go get tanked up for a little over 10 bucks.

Scott Huffines

---

Atomic TV - Baltimore Public Access - www.atomicteevee.com

Would you buy furniture from a store called "Unpainted Huffines"?

[atomictv]

I forgot to ask if anyone in Los Angeles remembers Barney's Beanery on Little Santa Monica Blvd.

Barney's Beanery is still there. My fave LA dives (and this is coming from someone who has only been there twice) are:

- Formosa (It was in LA Confidential!)

- Frolic Room (ditto)

- Tiki Ti

- Barney's Beanery

[NeroW]

The WhirlAway (Fullerton), and The Mutiny (Western), both in Chicago.

Sacre Bleu.

[fresco]

For those who may want to add the WhirlAway and the Mutiny to their tour (crawl) of disgusting dives, details would be appreciated.

[phaelon56]

Hank Mirbach's place in East Syracuse NY just across from the fabulous Fremont Lanes and behind the Pelican II diner. It's really just a protypical working guy's joint - lots of formica and some duct tape on the naugahyde padded front edge of the bar but the drink chips (given out when someone buys you a drink and you're noty ready for one yet)..... have a big swastika on the back. Creepy.

[herbacidal]

the place in philly i used to call my home bar was a place i called frank's, and most people called dirty frank's.

two key points useful to this thread:

1) doctor friend of mine (med student at the time) took a sample of germs for one of his classes; he got his culture from the payphone in the bar;

he got the best sample of anybody in the class

2) my most memorable memory of the mens room was the floor underneath the toilet rotting/torn away, leaving hole approximately 4-6 sq ft worth.

you could see all the pipes and etc. underneath.

[Sweet Willie]

My local dive bar "Boomers" in Des Plaines has closed. Too much drugs and guns but it was great to stop in at night while walking my dog and have a brew.

I've always been partial to "Weeds" in Chicago on Weed street near North Ave.

I used to tend bar in Mt. Pleasant Iowa at a place called the Westside. On my first shift, a local walks in, looks at me, turns to the owner and says "What is this college f_ck doing behind the bar?!!?" Owner took me aside and said remember what he is drinking and have it ready for him when he walks in next time. Sure enough w/in two weeks this guy and I were chatty pals.

[mcdowell]

There's a bar on the corner of Sixth & Mission in San Francisco, no name that I recall... To walk in you had to walk past one of these coin-operated public toliet stalls, two beefy muscle types standing guard as the biggest dealer on the block did business inside, selling his product for $40/rock. I noticed the last time I drove past that they had demolished that drug-stand, this about six months ago.

In the bar, if you wanted to smoke, they'd give you an empty can to flick your ashes into. Not unusual in this smoke-deprived city. I was approached one night by a Cuban hooker in a red vinyl mini-skirt who offered to tickle my tonsils with her tongue from behind. I've never had so direct and graphic a come-on before, excepting some dark corners in Mexico.

Great Filapino restaurant just across the street.

Edited September 5, 2003 by mcdowell (log)

[sabg]

i think the negative connotation associated with "dive bar" may be misleading.  personally, i love a good dive bar, more than a "yuppie" bar that is serving 8 dollar Buds.  the bellevue in NYC on 9th ave comes to mind, which is a fav of tony bourdain if i recall.  it's dark, dank, and i'm not sure how clean the mugs are.  but it has a great crowd usually, and some of the most interesting folks in the world.  much interesting than the people you'd meet at Heartland Brewery for example.  would i take my mom there?  probably not.  i suppose that's a good barometer of sorts:  if i like it a lot, but i wouldn't take my mom there, it's probably considered a "dive."  otherwise, you'd be hard-pressed to find a bar so seedy that i'd feel uncomfortable enough to leave.  hell, look at the way i dress.

this is getting interesting. what are you wearing now?

[babyluck]

I too love dive bars and of course my favorite is the Royal Bar, attached to the diner of the same name in Branchburg, NJ.

But for creepiness, nothing can beat the "penis bar" in Lambertville. It's a perfectly normal old man dive bar, except that it holds the world's largest collection of preserved animal members in an adjoining room (in size order, naturally).