liuzhou

Moving to a different venue. While they mostly all sell the same things and copy each others menus if not recipes, this one is unique. Bewilderingly so. It’s called Lays Pizzeria although they often misspell their own name as Lasy Pizzeria. Their USP is that they only provide pictures of their offerings. No hint as to what might be in them. It may be different in store, but I’ve never ventured inside. Now, this looks like perhaps a standard pepperoni number, but don’t be fooled. I have established that ‘cheese’ is, in fact, durian! The 'pepperoni' could be strawberry jam ⁈

I've been telling you for years. CØrn is dangerous!

I've been grappling with the moral dilemma of being totally open or subjecting the innocent to crimes against food, so have so far avoided any mention of the yellow peril, although it seriously limits my posting options. I will consult my psychiatrist and probation officer over the weekend and make my final decision. "To post or not to post. That is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows or take arms against the yellow poison", as the 16th century pizza maker said.

Fresh out of shrimp for the above? Don't worry! Grab yourself a bunch of rice paddy eels. They also offer this eel and mango version, but warn that if they run out of said mango, they'll use pineapple instead. They seem to have forgotten the "mayo" this time, but I'm sceptical whether they'll deliver it with or not.

Spicy Pig's Ears.

Could be. And they probably look worse in real life!

It's a pizza only place about a quarter of a mile from my home. Fairly popular so far as I can see. I often pass it. It's been there for a few years now and they have opened a second branch so someone must be biting.

Japanese Kewpie Sweet "Mayonnaise".

Moving on through the menu, at last we get some protein in addition to the cheese but still with the fruit. A delightful Wasabi Sauce Mango Shrimp Pizza. I am near speechless. One thing I’m sure of, though; there is no wasabi on or near that. It’ll be the usual green-dyed horseradish. Obligatory squeezy bottle 'mayo' action!

It has some sort of industrial cheese on it. Maybe not tomato sauce. It isn't mentioned in the listing. (I've never eaten it, so can't be sure). I don't think it's particularly meant to be a desert; it's just they think that's a pizza.

羊肉粉 (yáng ròu fěn), Lamb Rice Noodles

I am not exaggerating odd things in the least. These are the first two pizzas on my local delivery app. Pizza Hut? Give me a break. They ship frozen pizzas from hundreds of miles away and reheat them in local stores. And they do durian pizza, too.

I'm convinced the Chinese are convinced pizza is a type of cake. In many places, the base is more like sponge cake than bread; sweet and well, spongy. Also, they love to stick fruit on top. The is below is described on the menu as "Fruit colourful pizza (seasonal fruit*)" and is of course, lathered with Japanese Kewpie sweet 'mayonnaise'. Curses on squeezy bottles and whoever introduced them to China. All sorts of inappropriate foods get covered by irrelevant squiggles. * Watermelon, dragon fruit and pineapple. And we thought "Hawaiian Pizza" was bad.

I use a flamethrower. Or dynamite.

That first tuna image is a work of art. I want to hang it on my kitchen wall.