Deal Breakers

[Teri Everitt]

Picks me up in his pickup...wants to take me to his 'favowite westewant'.  He had a wierd speech issue of some kind - sort of a Porky Pig thing completely unrelated to any kind of hearing impairment or other disability

I think you might have gone on a date with Elmer Fudd........you should have asked him to say "Be vewwy quiet....I'm hunting wabbit."

I almost needed the Heimlich while reading about your hellish date...maybe I shoudn't have been reading it so soon after dinner..........

[Katie Nell]

Their rudeness to service staff is mostly due to the fact that they had never worked in a restaurant, which in my opinion, should be mandatory, like conscription to the army.

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Either that or have to have been a cashier! I completely believe this!

[hjshorter]

Once a girl and I had pizza and then went to a movie.  While we sat in the lit theater waiting for the movie to start, she pulled a pack of dental floss from her purse and started to floss her teeth.

Yes.  Right there in the movie theater seat.

Oh my God that is hilarious.

I once stopped dating a guy because he never ate vegetables. He was so irritating to cook for that I knew the relationship would never go anywhere.

[Badiane]

I think you might have gone on a date with Elmer Fudd........you should have asked him to say "Be vewwy quiet....I'm hunting wabbit."

I

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That's it...Elmer Fudd!!! Exactly. I knew Porky Pig wasn't quite right. Although the resemblance was shocking.

I have so many 'I met him on the Internet' dating horror stories...too bad most of them aren't even remotely food related.

I did meet my wonderful, patient, caring, very funny husband on the net tho - so it can be done. He is living proof that a non-foodie CAN be reformed into a complete and total cheese snob. I know, because I have created that monster

[Pontormo]

Date Number Two

The vegetarian didn't flinch when I ordered something with meat at the Korean place.

Good conversation.

Friend of a good friend who's known him for years, always a good sign.

Getting late.

Walking over a mile through the college town on a Saturday night.

Heading down one of the funkier streets, once the site of a number of working class bars before the city gentrified and coffee houses with exposed brick walls moved in next to the gift shops with artisanal earrings. We pass one of the two remaining bars, rather tame now, but a favorite of my friends. Good music, not too loud.

The guy sings and plays guitar , so I ask, "You wanna go in?"

He looks at me. Pauses. "You like that sort of thing?"

He meant DRINKING!!!

Edited January 18, 2006 by Pontormo (log)

[jgarner53]

Clearly I didn't date enough when I was single! These stories are hilarious!

My darling husband didn't particularly like beer or coffee when we met. I hooked him on both, but have since myself given up on coffee (always makes my stomach too jangly). Now he's a serious homebrewer on top of it all!

And I'm proud to say that our palates have developed together. Where once we wouldn't turn down a meal at Red Robin (or Wed Wobin), we now happily head for the divey ethnic place with the much better food.

[Lilija]

Oh, Badiane, I bet you and I could swap stories all night. Unfortunately, none of mine are food related, but I can totally commiserate with your freak-magneticness. I once dated a guy that thought he was a warewolf. For real.

I read your stories, and I smiled. I *totally* commiserate.

My friends all told me I should write a book, and title it "I Thought He Was A Nice Guy". Till I met my (awesome, kind, perfect, STABLE) husband, those same friends thought that would be etched into my tombstone, too.

[Jason Perlow]

I would like to remind everyone in this thread to please consider being a bit more sensitive to the practices of other cultures and to maintain civility. This is an international web site, people. I've had to pull a few posts because things started to get a bit nasty.

Keep in mind this is a hot button topic, so what little thing that drives you crazy and is a "deal breaker" could in fact be a personality trait or mannerism of someone reading this thread. I'm already a bit disgusted and personally offended by some of the things I am reading here.

[Badiane]

My friends all told me I should write a book, and title it "I Thought He Was A Nice Guy".  Till I met my (awesome, kind, perfect, STABLE) husband, those same friends thought that would be etched into my tombstone, too.

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Oh me too...believe me...complete and total bum magnet. I look back and can't even believe some of the stuff that has happened.

I once invited a seemingly normal reasonable guy over for dinner...he had a good job and I knew his mom and everything. Well after dinner was over, he asked if he could take home the leftovers. Ummm...okay, sure. Then he laid on my floor and watched the hockey game. After the game he jumped up, slapped my behind and said 'I'd really like to stick around and have sex , but I have to get the dog home'. She was in the car waiting for him.

I also once had a guy over to dinner - with two other couples - and in the middle of dinner there was a knock on the door. It was his live-in girlfriend. She was tired of waiting in the car and needed to use the washroom.

Annnd...my final even remotely food related horror....I went on a date with a man who was employed at Microsoft in Redmond...he had a very low employee number...under the 200 mark. He was stinking filthy rich. He ordered my lunch for me and then made me pay half the bill.

Fortunately he was one of my last dates. Shortly thereafter I met the man I married What a relief.

[Lilija]

I would like to remind everyone in this thread to please consider being a bit more sensitive to the practices of other cultures and to maintain civility. This is an international web site, people. I've had to pull a few posts because things started to get a bit nasty.

Keep in mind this is a hot button topic, so what little thing that drives you crazy and is a "deal breaker" could in fact be a personality trait or mannerism of someone reading this thread. I'm already a bit disgusted and personally offended by some of the things I am reading here.

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I'm sorry, I'll never speak ill of warewolves again!

But, I agree. Some thing's I've read, here, just made me scratch my head, and wonder about people.

[Jason Perlow]

Please remain on topic, people. I've had to remove a number of off-topic posts. This is not a general dating issues site. If you guys can't keep this food related we're going to be putting this one to sleep shortly.

Thanks.

[MGLloyd]

On my very first date with the woman who became Mrs. Lloyd 2.0, she picked up her glass of Guinness, peered at me through the glass, and said, "You are not cute enough yet, so I will have another pint!". I knew right then that I had found someone with a similar sense of humor. We were married 18 months later.

[KOK]

I once broke up with a guy because I saw him eating a banana in a way that just made me cringe.   Like a monkey.... peeling it like some sort of primate between bites?

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Uh, human's are primates, and how else are you supposed to eat a banana?

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*in my best posh british accent* why with a fork and a knife, course. Humph, heathens.

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I am very curious if you eat all fruit with a fork and knife? I've never seen anyone eat a banana with utensils (except for the one in a banana split). This sounds like something out of a Sienfeld episode where they were eating Snicker bars (I think) with a knife and fork.

If you do eat bananas with a knife and fork, I mean NO disrespect by my post. If it was meant as a joke, I'm a knuckle-dragger and didn't get it.

Thanks,

Kevin

[Milagai]

Let me add a good cross cultural story.

Deal maker, not deal breaker.

DH and I have been happily married for (omygawd, how long?) 12 years now,

and food compatibility has been really important, never mind that I grew

up in India and he (different ethnicity from me) in Chicago.

I don't have to compete with the memory of his mother's cooking

because she apparently (rest her otherwise sainted bones) was a lousy cook.

But I knew negotiating the cross cultural issues would be important,

especially for my family, and it seemed food would be a good place to start.

Happily he is the most adventurous eater, but I didn't know that then.

He now works in international health, but grew up all his life in the same

zip code, unlike my family who moved all over and so we do all kinds of food....

So, his first trip to India before we

got married, meet my family, my mom devising evil tests to

throw this interloper off balance.

Family road trip to rural Karnataka, my father's ancestral village, and then to

the gorgeous Karnataka coast. In the village:

food traditional style: sit down on kitchen

floor and eat rasam and rice, with all accompaniments, off banana leaf.

Do this with right hand only (DH is lefthanded), neatly and no mess.

Bus the leaves out back and hand-deliver to waiting cow.

(All very novel for me too, I am a city girl).

Dh happily chows everything and does everything

and has never looked back since.

Travels widely, and can find a good meal almost anywhere.

He turned our family veg, but because we enjoy all other foods

and ingredients, we eat splendidly. Finding a good veg meal is

sometimes difficult depending on where you're traveling, but luckily

some form of Indian restaurant exists almost everywhere in Africa

and can be a last resort.

My extended in law group is another story altogether.

Can't tell the difference between asparagus and artichokes and dislike both!

Won't eat tomatoes (won't even try the delicious little cherry Sungold tomatoes

grown in the back yard, just picked, still warm from the sun)!

Are militantly meat-eating, i.e. think a meal is incomplete without some

form of beast, and very closed minded about other cultures' foods.

Think anything soy (other than soy sauce poured in a river

on Chinese takeout) is food worse than death.

I could go on and on!

Lucky for me the DH apple fell very very far from his family tree!

Reading some of y'awl's horror stories I realize I was very lucky

in this regard. Food incompatibility would be a big deal breaker for me

because it's your everyday life. Our food style apparently is:

spicy, cross-cultural, anything plant-based goes;

we don't shudder when others eat meat, and don't want to be

shuddered at when we really really enjoy tofu!

And I met several wierdos before DH including someone who went to France

and boasted that he ate only at McD's; people picky about spices or

flavors and balked at gazpacho or felafel or Ethiopian restaurants;

a grad student whose idea

of a date was to take me to his married friend's house to "crash" their

meal and then grumbled at the Italian restaurant we went instead;

a high and mighty maharaja (in his own head) who strongly signaled

displeasure and distaste when I requested him to carry a few plates

from the kitchen to the dining table; but those are shading from

food tastes to manners.....

Milagai

Edited January 19, 2006 by Milagai (log)

[FabulousFoodBabe]

If you do eat bananas with a knife and fork, I mean NO disrespect by my post.  If it was meant as a joke, I'm a knuckle-dragger and didn't get it.

Thanks,

Kevin

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The incident/ditching I posted about happened was when I was a teenger. It was (gulp) a long, LONG time ago, but every now and then I'm reminded of it. I have NO idea why that bugged me so much, and I think it still would.

I ditched my fair share of guys over the years for other food-related things. Being mean to the waiter means, to me, that the person is an a**hole. Not being adventurous about food -- boorrrrrrring. Chewing with mouth open? Yick! But eating a banana like that is, well, not indicative of anything, except that it bugged me.

I remember one guy years ago who dunked his bread in his soup and ate the bread, in a restaurant, on an early date. I hated it and don't know why, but he was history, too.

Sincerely,

Princess Fabby

[NYC Mike]

I once got a very revolted "ewwwwwwwww" when I ordered and enjoyed a very rare on the inside black and blue steak. I think we dumped each other at the same time. Her ewww was more than I could take and I think it was genuine on her part.

Mike

[BeeZee]

My husband and I knew we were a match when we found out that we both liked to peel and eat grapefruit segments (plain, no sugar)! We have similar attitudes towards food (like to try new things, but sorry, no offal), like same level of spiciness. Makes for a more pleasant dining experience, right? We both have our quirks ref. foods we don't like (he won't eat "cold" cheese, only melted) and it seems to work out OK.

[Toliver]

I am very curious if you eat all fruit with a fork and knife?  I've never seen anyone eat a banana with utensils (except for the one in a banana split).  This sounds like something out of a Sienfeld episode where they were eating Snicker bars (I think) with a knife and fork.

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I've posted about this before...but back when I was in college there was a woman from a wealthy Iranian family in one of my classes. After class, we were eating lunch and she saw someone eating a banana and commented that she had never eaten a banana with her hands before she came to America.

She said in her home in Iran bananas were always served on a plate and were eaten using a knife and fork. Her parents said it was beneath their status/class to eat any kind of food with their hands.

[Milagai]

In India too, where food is traditionally eaten with hands,

it's recently become a sign of high status and modernity to

eat only with silverware. You see truly wierd sights like

people attacking dosais and sambar with knife and fork.

Each group snobs on the other (eating with hands, bumpkins, vs.

eating with silverware, culturally

disconnected ignoramuses who do not understand true sophistication, etc.)

Milagai

Edited January 19, 2006 by Milagai (log)

[FabulousFoodBabe]

I am very curious if you eat all fruit with a fork and knife?  I've never seen anyone eat a banana with utensils (except for the one in a banana split).  This sounds like something out of a Sienfeld episode where they were eating Snicker bars (I think) with a knife and fork.

←

I've posted about this before...but back when I was in college there was a woman from a wealthy Iranian family in one of my classes. After class, we were eating lunch and she saw someone eating a banana and commented that she had never eaten a banana with her hands before she came to America.

She said in her home in Iran bananas were always served on a plate and were eaten using a knife and fork. Her parents said it was beneath their status/class to eat any kind of food with their hands.

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Aww ... even asparagus dipped in egg yolks?

I grossed Mr. FFB-out with this when we were dating early on -- the asparagus with the fingers thing. He was HORRIFIED, but far too polite to say anything to me about it (and far too wise to say anything for a long, long time thereafter ). The man eats bacon with his fork, still!

[I_call_the_duck]

Milagai, what a great story!

As the youngest of four, my parents had grown tired of testing perspective suitors’ food preferences by the time my turn came around. I pre-screened dates anyway, particularly after my brother brought home a winner. I think I may have posted this on another thread, but it's still a funny story nonetheless. This woman was a picky eater beyond reason. I won't go through the laundry list of what she wouldn't eat, but one thing that really stood out was that she hated Chinese food. Um...not only does my brother LOVE Chinese food, but hello? We're Chinese. That relationship lasted a lot longer than it should have.

When I was doing my internet dating thing, my personal ad read, "no picky eaters."

-Favorite restaurant McDonald's? Sorry bub, move on.

-Don't like ethnic food? Next.

-One guy was Jack Sprat. Wouldn't eat fat. Said he was allergic. What? No bacon? No chicken skin? Didn't see a future there.

The Deal Maker? Asked if he likes food, the future Mr. Duck said, “I’m a goldfish. I eat everything that’s put in front of me.” On our first date we went for drinks followed by dinner in a nearby restaurant. I was all set to order when the waitron came and told us the specials. Duck was one of them. “I’d like the duck,” I said. Not realizing that it was the most expensive item on the menu. Note: on a first date (or second or third for the matter), I never order the most expensive item on the menu. But I heard duck, and when it presents itself, I must call the duck. I offered to split the check, but being the gentleman he was, paid for the entire bill. And he called the next morning as he said he would. So five plus years later, we’re still exploring the food world together.

[Milagai]

Your story is cool too! and I finally "get" your e-name

This is a fun thread..

Milagai

[Genny]

I hate to eat with my sister. She can go through an entire meal without wiping her mouth even once. Even BBQ, sauced, ribs or chicken eaten with her hands! I just can't watch...oh the horror.

On the funny side, when my husband's friends/associates would ask if I had a sister, I knew how much he liked them by the answer he gave.

[Chris Amirault]

Dinner at a GF's mom's house. She was very religious and utterly wary of the daughter's divorced BF with a little kid. She made the house specialty, roast beef: a tenderloin, salted liberally and peppered, roasted in a 400F oven for about two and a half hours. That's it: no sauce, no seasoning, no nothing. I think that mom got the "good cut" for the guest, I dunno, but this thing made me think lovingly of Charlie Chaplin's shoe leather meal. I choked it down under mom's stern gaze.

So, afterwards, the GF asked me what I thought. I could not tell a lie: "It was horrible," I said. "Inedible. Overcooked to the point of absurdity." That comment basically set the clock a-ticking....

To this day, I'm convinced it was a set-up.

[_john]

You can learn a lot about a person based on how they position themselves in relation to food. How they cook and how they eat can be expanded broadly on to how they view consumption in general. This has been very important for me when choosing friends, lovers, and general acquaintances. In my experience someone who will try anything once, who respects the land where their food is grown and the animals they kill to consume, who realizes that food nourishes the body but that too much of a good thing can hurt, and who is always curious about new tastes is just the person for me.

When I meet someone new I am always excited and apprehensive about that first meal together. Short of asking them point blank "So do you have any issues? / What's your deal?" I have found it to be the most telling barometer about a person. Granted, I don't put all my faith in dinner table interactions, conversation is still the best way to get to know someone.

Times of crisis, the bedroom, the dinner table, and the inner spaces of deep conversation seem to hold very interesting insights into what makes a person tick in my experience.

On that note I recommend anyone to go to their local video store and rent Tampopo.