Dining and Discipline

[Wendy DeBord]

Loved it!!

[coquus]

It is clear to me that the true ideal (eating) partner would have already been eliminated due to external incompatibilities:The McLaughlin Group voice:

You almost lost me when you wouldn't go home with the guy, but then you pulled me back in, amazing.

[Chris Amirault]

Well, I dunno: as long as his sense of masochism doesn't extend to eating....

Ya-Roo, I think that you should take one for the team and find out whether Jason is right. Maybe punishment means burning foie gras to a lump of coal in an All-Clad pan on his Wolf stove.

[Bond Girl]

Well, I dunno: as long as his sense of masochism doesn't extend to eating....

Ya-Roo, I think that you should take one for the team and find out whether Jason is right. Maybe punishment means burning foie gras to a lump of coal in an All-Clad pan on his Wolf stove.

←

Oh, you guys just want to know the "R-Rated" version of "How I found oout i'd be a hopeless dominitrix"

[divalasvegas]

Well, I dunno: as long as his sense of masochism doesn't extend to eating....

Ya-Roo, I think that you should take one for the team and find out whether Jason is right. Maybe punishment means burning foie gras to a lump of coal in an All-Clad pan on his Wolf stove.

←

Oh, you guys just want to know the "R-Rated" version of "How I found oout i'd be a hopeless dominitrix"

←

Or perhaps a "hopeful" one? Heh heh heh. Actually, in this vein, I think you may have missed a golden opportunity. How often does a woman get to smack around a guy for being a lousy date? I'd call it sweet justice.

Wanted to add, some of my major turn-offs by a date while dining is:

a) Leaning over the food, gripping the cultery caveman style, and shoveling the food into his mouth, only pausing every third or fourth mouthful to actually chew or really taste the food (actually at home perhaps after you've gotten to know the guy and his good qualities, I suppose this could become endearing, to a point).

b) After the food has been lovingly plated, Mr. Pre-school commences to swirl everything together "since it's all gonna end up in the same place anyway." Yes, that one really happened to me.

c) Making a move on my plate, spearing a piece of food while saying "you're not gonna eat that are ya?" This last one might get you "kilt" for real.

Edited for additional comments.

Edited January 1, 2006 by divalasvegas (log)

[MGLloyd]

Maybe punishment means burning foie gras to a lump of coal in an All-Clad pan on his Wolf stove.

Although I am quite married these days, if I brought a woman back to my swinging bachelor pad, and she did this, she would find herself on the curb in very short order. And without any horizontal mambo, either. My God, what would be next? Using my Cuisinart food processor to crush ice for a Slurpee or something?

[Bond Girl]

Wanted to add, some of my major turn-offs by a date while dining is:

a) Leaning over the food, gripping the cultery caveman style, and shoveling the food into his mouth, only pausing every third or fourth mouthful to actually chew or really taste the food (actually at home perhaps after you've gotten to know the guy and his good qualities, I suppose this could become endearing, to a point). 

b) After the food has been lovingly plated, Mr. Pre-school commences to swirl everything together "since it's all gonna end up in the same place anyway." Yes, that one really happened to me. 

c) Making a move on my plate, spearing a piece of food while saying "you're not gonna eat that are ya?" This last one might get you "kilt" for real. 

How's about those that needs to pointificate loudly on every food item before they eat it. I once ate with a guy (not a date) that went on for 15 minutes on the intricacies of a foie gras terraine, before placing it in his mouth. He did the same thing with the monk fish and the venison that followed.

Then, there are the ones who won't order dessert because they are so "full" and then went on to eat most of the desserts that you ordered-now that's an actual date.

The worse are the high maintenance eaters: those that requires constant attention from the servers. A guy I was having dinner with got his fingers caught in the bathroom door so the server bought him a glass of ice for his injury. He not only whined loud enough to be heard in the small restaurant, he made the poor server change the glass of ice 15 times during course if the hour long dinner. Now that date, I wanted to smack.

[hjshorter]

Maybe punishment means burning foie gras to a lump of coal in an All-Clad pan on his Wolf stove.

←

Hurt me, baby.

Great story, Ya-Roo. I really enjoyed it. And I wish you much better hunting in 2006.

Edited January 1, 2006 by hjshorter (log)

[etnea]

Great piece.

Honestly, I would have just cracked up , just cracked up with tears of laughter running down my face, if I was in your place.

Just too funny!!!

[Lady T]

I thought for a moment I'd ruined my keyboard by splurting cava all over it when I got to your 'vanilla' metaphor. Not that I disagree; I'm with you all the way. But the...um...incongruity got me for a moment, coming as it did after a nicely seasoned Malaysian menu.

Beautiful work, Bond Girl. Happy New Year to you (now and later this month, if you celebrate the Chinese lunar year. Or both, if applicable!), and much better hunting. Someone's out there for you: believe it!

[handmc]

There will be more adventures, Yes? This is too fun to stop now.

[KatieLoeb]

Great story Ya-Roo! I enjoyed that immensely. I can totally relate to the single-over-forty thing and the less than ideal dates. Although it's been awhile since I've had an experience like yours, I can appreciate the sentiment behind your appreciation of vanilla, in all its guises.

After all, you have to wonder about a guy that needs "toys" to impress you on a first date. Sheesh! You didn't even get to "kick his tires" first!

Oh yeah. He might like that.

[alacarte]

This was a fun read...like "Sex & The City" only the characters EAT as well as drink cosmopolitans!

[Chris Amirault]

Maybe punishment means burning foie gras to a lump of coal in an All-Clad pan on his Wolf stove.

Although I am quite married these days, if I brought a woman back to my swinging bachelor pad, and she did this, she would find herself on the curb in very short order.

←

Yes, she'd have done something very bad indeed, very bad. Deserving of a good firm spanking, I'd say.

[Bond Girl]

Maybe punishment means burning foie gras to a lump of coal in an All-Clad pan on his Wolf stove.

Although I am quite married these days, if I brought a woman back to my swinging bachelor pad, and she did this, she would find herself on the curb in very short order.

←

Yes, she'd have done something very bad indeed, very bad. Deserving of a good firm spanking, I'd say.

←

Actually, I once dumped a guy for throwing out my lump of black truffle. he didn't know what it was and thought the rice had spoiled. Idiot!

[daniellewiley]

See, this is why we need an eGullet personals thread. As a newly single woman, I look through the online dating sites, and find myself wondering if these guys are into food.

Great article BondGirl!!

[Varmint]

I've actually had the pleasure of dining with Ya-Roo and two other charming ladies (yes, I AM a lucky guy ), and I can say that no dominatrix tendencies came out of that meal. Nor did I notice any aspects of her dining that sent me any signals of what she might be like. Of course, I'm blissfully married and was the "safest" man one could have at this table, so there was never any reason to look for those signs in the first place. Hell, my strongest memory of her was that she laughed at me because I couldn't find the damn bathroom! So, single male culinarians of the world, she has a great sense of humor, too!

Great story.

[JennyUptown]

Loved it, Ya-Roo! Great suspenseful build-up to, uh, non-climax.

As I read it, I thought back to last year at this time when a guy I met two or three days prior (and decidedly did not go home with) e-mailed me to say "I really want to taste you."

[Pan]

Ya-Roo, I really admire you for revealing so much of yourself. Thanks for sharing. Needless to say (but I'll say it anyway), I enjoyed it.

[KatieLoeb]

Loved it, Ya-Roo!  Great suspenseful build-up to, uh, non-climax.   

As I read it, I thought back to last year at this time when a guy I met two or three days prior (and decidedly did not go home with) e-mailed me to say "I really want to taste you." 

←

I wonder if that approach and pick up line has ever worked for him before?

[JennyUptown]

Loved it, Ya-Roo!  Great suspenseful build-up to, uh, non-climax.    

As I read it, I thought back to last year at this time when a guy I met two or three days prior (and decidedly did not go home with) e-mailed me to say "I really want to taste you." 

←

I wonder if that approach and pick up line has ever worked for him before?

←

I'll never know. I cut him loose before we ever had a first date. I do know that when I responded with angry silence to that first msg, he sent a follow-up saying "your lips, I mean" and then "winked." Edited January 7, 2006 by JennyUptown (log)

[Bond Girl]

Loved it, Ya-Roo!  Great suspenseful build-up to, uh, non-climax.    

As I read it, I thought back to last year at this time when a guy I met two or three days prior (and decidedly did not go home with) e-mailed me to say "I really want to taste you." 

←

I wonder if that approach and pick up line has ever worked for him before?

←

I'll never know. I cut him loose before we ever had a first date. I do know that when I responded with angry silence to that first msg, he sent a follow-up saying "your lips, I mean" and then "winked."

←

Bad dates are like bad restaurants, some people just think they can get away with it.

[Fresser]

As I stood on Grand Street pondering the possibilities, he whispered into my ear, “You know, I’ve got lots of toys.”

“Toys?” I muttered. A warning light flickered in my head.

“Yes,” he said in a low voice. “I’ve been very bad, and I need to be disciplined.”

←

Had I written the script, this scene would have continued thusly:

You've never had anyone give you the Aunt Jemima Treatment?

The name's Bond Girl, pal--not Bondage Girl!

Ya-Roo, you're HYSTERICALLY funny!!

[Fresser]

Loved it, Ya-Roo!  Great suspenseful build-up to, uh, non-climax.   

As I read it, I thought back to last year at this time when a guy I met two or three days prior (and decidedly did not go home with) e-mailed me to say "I really want to taste you." 

←

This is what you get for dating Hannibal Lecter.

[Bond Girl]

As I stood on Grand Street pondering the possibilities, he whispered into my ear, “You know, I’ve got lots of toys.”

“Toys?” I muttered. A warning light flickered in my head.

“Yes,” he said in a low voice. “I’ve been very bad, and I need to be disciplined.”

←

Had I written the script, this scene would have continued thusly:

You've never had anyone give you the Aunt Jemima ot ?

The name's Bond Girl, pal--not Bondage Girl!

←