The Romantic Dinner: the ideals

[mizducky]

Roasted heads of garlic always put me in the mood.

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Heh. As long as both you and your beloved both eat them. Share the love, share the garlic breath.

I can imagine a bohemian-starving-artist type romantic dinner happening all impromtu at 3am in a diner. I also confess to heavy childhood imprinting on the romantic-dinner scene from "Lady and the Tramp" of all things--only half-joking here, that Disney-cute scene does have a number of elements people have already mentioned (intimate seating, candlelight, cloth table linens, sharing food, attentive waitstaff--okay, maybe a little *too* attentive for many people's tastes ).

(Somewhat) more seriously, what I would find the height of romance in a swanky restaurant would be something that feels like it came right out of a Bogart-and-Bacall movie. Very adult, with a noir edge. Service attentive but discreet. Food sophisticated but also discreet. Jazz trio working through a slow jam. Serious cocktails made by someone who doesn't have to be told what a classic martini is. Maybe a balcony to adjourn to at some point, hopefully with some moonlight to provide lighting for the Big Kiss. And also, hopefully, a nearby hotel room for the followup.

[Carrot Top]

Bobby Short at The Cafe Carlysle.

Who would care about the food?

[mizducky]

Bobby Short at The Cafe Carlysle.

Who would care about the food?

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Oh yeah, baby!

Only one slight problem: Bobby Short's performance is so mesmerizing (at least I found it so the one time I took it in), it might even distract me from paying proper attention to my date.

[slbunge]

Bobby Short at The Cafe Carlysle.

Who would care about the food?

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Oh yeah, baby!

Only one slight problem: Bobby Short's performance is so mesmerizing (at least I found it so the one time I took it in), it might even distract me from paying proper attention to my date.

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Another slight problem (click).

[Gifted Gourmet]

Another slight problem (click).

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In this day and age, when death need not be quite so permanent, there are videos and internet and recordings .. In short (forgive me 'cause I just had to!), Bobby will always be with us in a manner of speaking ...

[Carrot Top]

I knew that, Steven. It just didn't seem to go along with the idea of romance so I ignored it momentarily.

Edited October 28, 2005 by Carrot Top (log)

[GordonCooks]

A romantic table for two set on the beach about 15-20 feet from the breaking surf in a tropical location. Torches illuminate your faces while sipping champagne and a massive, orange sunset is your backdrop.

[mizducky]

Bobby Short at The Cafe Carlysle.

Who would care about the food?

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Oh yeah, baby!

Only one slight problem: Bobby Short's performance is so mesmerizing (at least I found it so the one time I took it in), it might even distract me from paying proper attention to my date.

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Another slight problem (click).

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Oh no! How the heck did I miss that? (checking ... ) Okay, March 21, 2005 is when he passed. I was swamped with a project around that time. Oh well ...

Sorry for going a little off-topic ... to try and bring this back, my memories of the Cafe Carlyle was that it was the most sophisticated place I had ever been inside of in my entire life up to that point (I was all of 22 years old at the time, mind you, but I bet it would still hold up). It won't be the same without Bobby, but I bet many romantic rendezvous will still be had there.

[Suzanne Podhaizer]

I am so caught up in the romance of food that when I wrote my wedding vows, the theme was how a couple's habits around food can be metaphorically linked to other aspects of the relationship. My husband and I didn't have a wedding, instead, we used our money to go on a food tour of Northern California, which included the French Laundry (on our wedding night), Chez Panisse, Fleur de Lys, and other exciting area restaurants.

One thing that this trip made very clear is that for me, sharing food is the most romantic part of a romantic dinner. It is very important to me that we have the experience of the same foods, so that we can look back and talk about the items that we ate together. It would be sad, I think, if we ate at a wonderful restaurant but couldn't reminisce collectively about the aroma of the truffled gnocchi or the flavor of a particular caviar.

And unlike some of the other people who have posted, I think that analyzing the food lends itself to the eroticism of an evening on the town. In my book, there's nothing as sexy as a partner who can explain in appropriately poetic terms how a flavor unfolds in his/her mouth. This level of sensuality and intensity around food suggests, to me, equal levels of sensuality and intensity in other aspects of life.

[fud]

I knew I found my true love when halfway through dinner, she asked if we could do a "plate swap" so we could each try the other's dish thereby enhancing the entire dining experience (more flavours going into the mouth makes for a happy me).

That and I found a girl who didn't find it odd that I brough a camera to every dinner we went on

I find the "setting" of the mood plays a very big part in the entire dining experience. If I took really really good food and surrounded it with terrible ambience, I would probably judge the food to be less tastey than otherwise.

[gingerfreak]

Well, the right dining companion, of course.

Also, as noted by several people here, service. It's helpful when servers know it's a special occasion, but not pleasant when they try to insinuate themselves into the occasion - in a misplaced attempt to make it more of an "event". I've had what should have been romantic dinners become more memorable because of the "performance" of a server making a big deal of it.

That said, I've had several more casual dinners with my wonderful guy made more special by a server taking note of the fact that we seem so "taken" with each other.

Good ambience, subdued but not silent noise level (music and other patrons), and lighting, lighting, lighting. Candles are good but not necessary, it's just nice when you feel like you're being flattered by the atmosphere. And the food should be very good, but I agree with others, not so much it distracts from your companion.

And finally, the most romantic setting in the world isn't going to cut it if you're actually relying on it to MAKE it romantic. Romance has to be inherent - the food, the service, ambience can only provide the embellishment.

Hmm...methinks a nice dinner out might be in order...

[Chris Amirault]

My husband and I didn't have a wedding, instead, we used our money to go on a food tour of Northern California, which included the French Laundry (on our wedding night), Chez Panisse, Fleur de Lys, and other exciting area restaurants.

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Which came first: the wedding date decision or the French Laundry reservation?

[Suzanne Podhaizer]

My husband and I didn't have a wedding, instead, we used our money to go on a food tour of Northern California, which included the French Laundry (on our wedding night), Chez Panisse, Fleur de Lys, and other exciting area restaurants.

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Which came first: the wedding date decision or the French Laundry reservation?

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The French Laundry Reservation--(could you have guessed?) I couldn't leave that factor up to chance. I guess this is why so many people think my priorities are strange!

[zilla369]

Not a sole around.

Not one to normally pick on typos, but I had to giggle as I pictured fish peeking out from underneath the sand.

[chow guy]

The most romantic meal would be on an outdoor patio very close to the ocean. The lighting would be a full moon and it's reflection on the surf and candles on the table. The music would be the sound of the sea. The aroma, salt air and the sweet smell of night blooming Cerus.

I enjoyed a meal in just such a setting. It was in Hawaii at a home that had been inhabitted by RL Stevenson. It was a remakable evening.

[bleudauvergne]

When I think about the most romantic times, there's one thing that really stands out. Romance has everything to do with the suprise we feel at being in love, not shock, but a mild kind of nudge that tells us we exist right then at that very moment with the person we love. I have a memory of a picnic in the garden behind the Rodin museum when we were just dating, it was about to rain, but we'd set a date and nothing was going to stop us. My mind goes to the very instant that a breeze took us off guard and we almost lost the napkins and a leaf blew into my hair. Something inside me said - This is the most romantic moment I have ever experienced in my life.

So. Now after a few good years of married life, what can I do to create romance? Suprise him. Under normal circumstances when he walks in the door I would not have dinner ready yet, and he would have to come to the kitchen if he want's to see me the minute he comes home. While the comforting smells of dinner are pleasant, they are not suprising anymore. Under normal circumstances the lights are on bright and the news on the radio is going and I haven't bothered to even look in the mirror since I came in from my day's work. Just for suprise - I have planned ahead and already set the table with linens I have ironed instead of a wrinkled old table cloth. I do put a candle on the table and only a couple of lights are on. Dinner, something he especially likes, has been planned ahead and is in its last stages when he arrives. I have also showered and done my hair and look pretty and put on a little perfume. This and his reaction will be enough to suprise us both into the moment, I think.

[Dana329]

Another slight problem (click).

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In this day and age, when death need not be quite so permanent, there are videos and internet and recordings .. In short (forgive me 'cause I just had to!), Bobby will always be with us in a manner of speaking ...

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I can't even remember the name anymore, but in the 70's there was a restaurant in NYC , rumored to be an old speakeasy, that to my young impressionable heart was sooooooo romantic. Dark, private booths, and you had to push a buzzer to summon the waiter (in case you didn't want to be disturbed!) I have NO memory of the food, but I know I was head over heels just because the young man in question thought to take me to this incredibly romantic, sexy place!

Dana

[Marlene]

When I think about the most romantic times, there's one thing that really stands out.  Romance has everything to do with the suprise we feel at being in love, not shock, but a mild kind of nudge that tells us we exist right then at that very moment with the person we love.  I have a memory of a picnic in the garden behind the Rodin museum when we were just dating, it was about to rain, but we'd set a date and nothing was going to stop us.  My mind goes to the very instant that a breeze took us off guard and we almost lost the napkins and a leaf blew into my hair.  Something inside me said - This is the most romantic moment I have ever experienced in my life. 

So.  Now after a few good years of married life, what can I do to create romance?  Suprise him.  Under normal circumstances when he walks in the door I would not have dinner ready yet, and he would have to come to the kitchen if he want's to see me the minute he comes home.  While the comforting smells of dinner are pleasant, they are not suprising anymore.  Under normal circumstances the lights are on bright and the news on the radio is going and I haven't bothered to even look in the mirror since I came in from my day's work.  Just for suprise - I have planned ahead and already set the table with linens I have ironed instead of a wrinkled old table cloth.  I do put a candle on the table and only a couple of lights are on.  Dinner, something he especially likes, has been planned ahead and is in its last stages when he arrives.  I have also showered and done my hair and look pretty and put on a little perfume.  This and his reaction will be enough to suprise us both into the moment, I think.

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I like to do this too on occassion. We eat out often enough that it's not terribly romantic anymore, and a dinner like the one Lucy describes above is perfect for reminding us of why we are together. A little extra thought and special touches tells your loved one that you care enough to take the time.

Often though, our most romantic moments come from the spur of the moment "snacks" we make up for ourselves when we (all too rarely) find ourselves alone in the house. Friday was such an occassion. Neither of us was particularly hungry for a big meal, so we fixed a plate of triple creme soft cheese, crackers, and honey, poured two glasses of champagne, and took them into the family room where we turned on the fireplace and lowered the lights. Converstation ranged from the ordinary "how was your day" to the companionable silence one can only achieve with those closest to you when you know words are not always necessary. The phone rang, we ignored it. We both put work away for the night. At some point we looked at each other, extended our hands, interwined our fingers and just smiled at each other. At about the same time, we both said, "This is perfect".