What Do You Bring When Invited for Dinner?

[Ruby]

When invited to someone's home for dinner, I usually bring a decent bottle of wine and perhaps flowers. If invited to a party, I usually bring whatever I'm drinking (wine or Champagne) and also something to eat.

When I ask the host(esses) what I can bring, the standard answer is always "nothing, just bring yourself." Well, I never show up emptyhanded. Sometimes I'll bring a bottle of vodka or scotch that I know the host(ess) enjoys.

What do others bring? I'm really looking for new ideas or is it just standard to bring wine? Thanks.

[Blue Heron]

In addition to wine or flowers, sometimes I bring something from our garden, ie. garden ripe tomatoes, or fresh green beans if they are in season.  Recently we brought some freshly picked morel mushrooms.  Fresh berries in season (fresh picked or from the farmer's market) are a treat to bring or receive.  I can pickled asparagus in the Spring, so sometimes I will bring a jar of Pickled Asparagus w/ a nice ribbon on it.  If I knew how to make jam (& I'm probably the only one in the world who has never made jam), I would bring that.  I love when people bring me home made jam.  For a party, Microbrewery type beers are fun to bring.  Someone brought Blue Heron beer to one of the NW eGullet potlucks, and I loved that!  For non alcohol drinkers, I have brought a pound of nice gourmet coffee beans that I think they will enjoy.

edit: a box or little cellophane bag of nice quality chocolates can also make a nice gift.  A nice ribbon or bow makes it look more festive (I hope I'm not sounding too much like Martha   ).

[John Whiting]

The best advice I ever received on gifts was, if it's someone you know well, make notes on any enthusiasms they express. (Other than diamonds!   ) It's easy to forget, a month later, the passing inspiration you were offered.

[Robert Schonfeld]

Blue Heron shows an unusual amount of thought and consideration. In particular, gifts from the garden are always appreciated. When we had one, we did that.

About six time a year, my wife prepares an elaborate meal for ten or more in our small New York City apartment, generally in connection with a holiday. It's always a monumental, weeklong effort. Since we don't know Blue Heron, gifts are usually the obligatory chocolates or a pro forma bottle of wine. Thus, she has taken to asking that nothing be brought and she really means it. Many guests insist on ignoring her entreaty, hence our freezer is full of lousy chocolate and our closet stuffed with indifferent wine.

[Steve Plotnicki]

Flowers are the best because nobody can have too many flowers. But if you are expert in wine (ahem,) then for as little as $10 you can buy somebody a good Cote de Rhone. So many people like wine, but know nothing about it. And when they get a bottle from somebody who does know about it, are usually quite happy.

[Jaymes]

For years, I have not taken wine, nor flowers, nor chocolates.  It just all seemed so obvious.  What I do is keep an eye out all year long for fun little fripperies in gift shops, markets, etc.

I'd like to add that this seems like a lot of work, but it's really much LESS work than rushing around at the last minute trying to think of something to take.  I just watch for stuff when I'm out on my usual day-to-day activities, bring them home and dump them into my "present" box.  Then, when I'm invited, two minutes rummaging in the box and I'm on my way.

[Andy Lynes]

A bad attitude and an empty belly.

[Sandra Levine]

Jaymes, I'm overwhelmed.  I have tried the "interesting little gift" approach from time to time, and it has been met with puzzlement.  I guess I just don't know the right people...or, maybe I choose the wrong gift!

Normally, on the receiving end, I agree with Mrs. Schonfeld.  

Flowers are nice, though.

[Jaymes]

I have tried the "interesting little fit" approach from time to time, and it has been met with puzzlement.  I guess I just don't know the right people...or, maybe I choose the wrong gift!

You could be right; my friends could all think that I am odd and my gift choices are peculiar and they just haven't been unkind enough to say so.

But if that's the case, they hide it well.  They seem to be quite appreciative and I have even noticed more imagination creeping into their choices as well.

I should add that I do keep my hostess gifts in the "hostessy" catagory, having to do with food, or entertaining, or small bits of whimsy for their home decor.  

I mean, I'm not showing up with beautifully-wrapped pairs of the hostess' favorite brand of panty hose or anything.

[lizziee]

My least favorite hostess gift is a big bunch of flowers. I'm watching what is going on in the kitchen and all of a sudden, I have to stop what I'm doing, find a vase, arrange them somewhat so I don't hurt the guests, find a place to put them etc. I do love the flowers, but it is much nicer if they are arranged or in a pot or anything that doesn't need last minute attention.

[Jinmyo]

lizziee, I could not agree more.

Being faced with having to do an unplanned ikebana at a crucial time is an unwelcome intrusion. As I am also very particular about what flowers and what colours of those flowers I would have about, chances are that this would be obstructive. For myself, rather than the well-intentioned guest. So I just dump them into a bucket of water and put them to the side and deal with them later.

I think that Jaymes' modus operandi is a good one.

Were Steve P to bring the wine, I'm sure it would be more than welcome.

[lizziee]

In fact, I would invite Steve P. for dinner in the hope that he would bring some wine.

[Jaymes]

I think that Jaymes' modus operandi is a good one.

Were Steve P to bring the wine, I'm sure it would be more than welcome.

Thanks for the compliment.  

It's just so much easier for me that way than at the last minute, racing to the wine shop or the flower shop or the chocolate shop.

Of course, I must admit, if I were a true wine connoisseur, which I decidedly am not, I'd probably be more likely to take that.

[Jinmyo]

Well, wine can be a bad gift. Guests often expect it to be used. And it might have nothing to do with the meal. An ice wine or a Scotch would be better.

I'd rather bring or receive something that can also be used outside of the occasion. Otherwise it's as if one is participating in that most dire of all situations, The Dreaded Potluck. And there's no way ooouuut.

[Jaymes]

Well, wine can be a bad gift. Guests often expect it to be used. And it might have nothing to do with the meal. An ice wine or a Scotch would be better.

I'd rather bring or receive something that can also be used outside of the occasion. Otherwise it's as if one is participating in that most dire of all situations, The Dreaded Potluck. And there's no way ooouuut.

Even in the olden days when I thought I had to take wine in order to be considered a proper guest, I had the sense to say, "Here's something for your wine cabinet," in order to let the host and hostess off of the hook of thinking I expected it to be served that evening.  I agree that there's nothing worse than racing around your kitchen trying to deal with a gift that requires some kind of immediate attention.

As least it is if you're as disorganized as I am.

[Jinmyo]

Or as organized as I am.

[Flynn]

I bring Champagne, flowers, candy and myself. The host(ess) usually says I brought too much to which I answer "and what else am I going to do with my hands?" (wink) I think it's always better to bring too much than look like a cheapskate.

[Campbell]

I usually go to a really neat cookware specialty store near my office and find some really cool stuff for the kitchen, plus I travel alot and collect stuff to give when I get back.

[jaybee]

Favorite gifts brought to us by dinner guests were:  1) box of good chocolate truffles that can be served with the coffee;

2)  bottle or two of good champagne already chilled that can be served with the hors d'ourves;  3)  a nice bunch of flowers (peonies and lilies in season) already arranged and in a vase;

4) a case of 1970 first growth Bordeaux (really!); 5) a beautiful old decanter for my collection;  6)  several well-kept cigars (preferably Cuban).

Least favorite:  1) something to eat that doesn't fit into the menu I've planned and that the guest expects will be served in his/her presence;  2) bottle of dreadful chilled bubbly.

[researchgal]

We typically bring wine or flowers or wine AND flowers.  For the wine, we usually wrap it or put a nice ribbon around it and make it clear that it's not necessarily meant for dinner, in fact we'll often bring something that's meant to be saved and aged a bit longer.  For flowers I'll always offer to arrange them for the host/hostess since so it's not a big disruption.  Depending on the season, we may also bring some berries or something of that sort picked up from the local farmstand.  We always try to make it clear that we don't expect what we bring to be served with the meal.  I personally find that disruptive and kind of presumptious when guests have that expectation.

[Billy D]

Any Cordial (the more off the beaten track the better) or a sweet wine/sparkling wine.  For real good friends I will go to Barney's and pick up something from the house wares dept. i.e. a corkscrew, shot glasses, napkin rings, vase, place mats, ice tongs, etc.

[rich]

I never bring any type of food and don't want people to bring me food. Wine is good as long as it's not expected to be opened.

I try to bring a dessert wine or port - it's something a lot of people won't have on hand.

If wine doesn't work, then a bring something for the house - a piece of crystal or a special dish for the kitchen (olive dish with pit holder or a bread dipping dish.)