What bothers you most about a restaurant?

[Chris Amirault]

As you can well imagine, threads about annoying restaurant food and service have a long, storied history here. If memory serves, the last was the Crimes Against Food thread, in which I chose to whine righteously about inedible garnishes, "When the first thing you do to your plate is remove inedible ugly food, you know there's a problem."

[*Deborah*]

PLEASE do not clear my dining partner's entree while I am still eating. Don't even ask.  Don't even think about it.  Rude Rude Rude.

That's my #1 as well. As far as I'm concerned, all plates should be cleared at the same time.

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I am coming to accept that I am in a minority with this, but my dad is the slowest eater in creation, and I simply loathe sitting with the remains of my meal before me for 20 minutes while he finishes. So does my mother. It doesn't matter at all how good or bad the dinner was, I don't like to have to look at it while waiting for my dad to finish. I don't think he feels any more or less rushed if my mum and I do or don't have plates...he takes as long as he takes, and we're used to waiting for him.

On the other hand, I've had servers try to take away my plate while I still had cutlery in hand...and I think that's worse. Wait till I finish chewing, please!

I agree with easily 90% of the long post above, but I must say that I don't understand the antipathy toward Champagne before a meal...I've had many meals with Champagne to begin and end and something lovely and red in the middle; it's quite common for birthday or other celebrations in my family. Mais peut-être on est mal-élevée...?

[touaregsand]

How does one enjoy a meal while noticing (and being bothered) by what other customers are doing?

[cathrynapple]

i'm a poor student who waitresses! ;)

ditto to dirty bathrooms.

hovering is incredibly annoying, too. as a waitress, it's fairly simple to notice which people will need attention and which will be left alone. common sense, folks!

waitstaff laughing or tlaking loudly within sight or earshot? gross.

[Behemoth]

2- Wine

- Customers who know the drill for wine tasting but do not have a clue as to why they are doing it.

- Customers who try the wine and nod with a smile to the sommelier.

- Customers who do not have the guts to return a bottle of bad wine.

It might not be the customer. Usually if I just sniff the wine to see if its corked, then say, "thank you, it's fine" they will just stand there until I actually drink some. Or am I doing something wrong here?

Nobody's mentioned the one where they take your dirty knife and stick it on the tablecloth when removing the first course. I want a new knife, dammit, is that so hard?

[touaregsand]

2- Wine

- Customers who know the drill for wine tasting but do not have a clue as to why they are doing it.

- Customers who try the wine and nod with a smile to the sommelier.

- Customers who do not have the guts to return a bottle of bad wine.

It might not be the customer. Usually if I just sniff the wine to see if its corked, then say, "thank you, it's fine" they will just stand there until I actually drink some. Or am I doing something wrong here?

Nobody's mentioned the one where they take your dirty knife and stick it on the tablecloth when removing the first course. I want a new knife, dammit, is that so hard?

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I wouldn't assume it's the customer since I don't presume to know what another customer knows. I'm not a mind reader. I also don't look around to see what other customers are doing.

I just look at the cork if it's offered. Look, smell and taste the wine then offer a quick assessment.

[Genny]

Unacceptable: dirty utensils/plates/glasses. Especially a wine or water glass with lipstick on it. I understand these go through a dishwasher and are sanitized but sometime the slipshod manner in which these basic tools are used is alarming.

[Corinna Dunne]

Being ripped off! Nothing bothers me more than feeling like I got bad value for money. And I equate this primarily with the quality of the food/cooking within its market sector, as opposed to the ambiance. service etc. I can forgive a lot, but I cannot forgive mediocrity. Do it well, or not at all.

[TheFoodTutor]

That's my #1 as well.  As far as I'm concerned, all plates should be cleared at the same time.

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I am coming to accept that I am in a minority with this, but my dad is the slowest eater in creation, and I simply loathe sitting with the remains of my meal before me for 20 minutes while he finishes. So does my mother. It doesn't matter at all how good or bad the dinner was, I don't like to have to look at it while waiting for my dad to finish. I don't think he feels any more or less rushed if my mum and I do or don't have plates...he takes as long as he takes, and we're used to waiting for him.

I don't think you are in the minority on this one.

In the area where I live, it is the standard in all but fairly upscale, white tablecloth restaurants that plates are removed as they are finished. If you are in a non-tablecloth restaurant, and you have an empty plate before you but your companions haven't finished, if your server passes by your table and does not start clearing, I can pretty much guarantee that within a minute or so, a manager will call her aside and whisper, "Can you pre-bus table 15 for me?"

Most servers have worked in casual places long before they ever got to the big time with the fine silver and white tablecloths, and the idea of pre-bussing will be so ingrained in them that learning to wait and only remove the plates when everyone at the table is finished is actually one of the hardest bits of training in fine dining. In their heads, all these servers usually hear that nagging little manager's voice telling them to manicure the table.

What's also amazing is that, while the servers are struggling with the fight against instinct, the patrons are, more often than not, having problems with it as well. There are far, far more casual restaurants than formal ones, and they have far more numerous diners in them, so the upscale experience is actually quite unusual for a lot of people. So the patrons will sit and get a little antsy, wondering "Why in the heck doesn't my server come over here and take my plate?" And the server keeps watching, and waiting, until finally the patron starts stacking dishes and pushing them to the side, or better yet, picks up the plate and motions at the server with it. And at that point the server has no choice but to take the empty plates.

I'd have to say from my experience that the people who want all the plates cleared at once are the minority, by far, but that aspect of fine dining still must be learned, so that the server can try, against most customer's wishes, to maintain that standard.

[bleachboy]

It might not be the customer. Usually if I just sniff the wine to see if its corked, then say, "thank you, it's fine" they will just stand there until I actually drink some. Or am I doing something wrong here? 

That's what I do, too. If they keep standing there, just assure them again, "It's fine, thank you". If a sommelier or at least a wine guy is serving your wine, they will usually interpret the smell-but-no-taste as a sign that you know what you're doing. Don't change a thing.

[Behemoth]

It might not be the customer. Usually if I just sniff the wine to see if its corked, then say, "thank you, it's fine" they will just stand there until I actually drink some. Or am I doing something wrong here? 

That's what I do, too. If they keep standing there, just assure them again, "It's fine, thank you". If a sommelier or at least a wine guy is serving your wine, they will usually interpret the smell-but-no-taste as a sign that you know what you're doing. Don't change a thing.

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I am very glad to get an eG stamp of approval!

Oh, another favorite, and I quote: "Are you still working on that?" Though in at least one case, I must admit it did sort of feel like work. Not so flattering for the chef though.

The problem with clearing the plates early is that I am usually the slow eater at the table, so at the end I'm the only one with a plate in front of me, "still working on that." So then I either shovel food in my mouth or leave hungry, and why would I pay for that kind of experience? We don't go out that much around here, we save our cash for the one place that does it all right

[MichaelB]

Oh, another favorite, and I quote: "Are you still working on that?" Though in at least one case, I must admit it did sort of feel like work. Not so flattering for the chef though.

When the service has unusually bad, I have been known to respond to that one with:

"I wonder how the chef would react to hearing that the wait staff considers eating his food to be work."

I only felt bad about it the one time that a young busser may have wet his pants he was so frightened.

[TAPrice]

Oh, another favorite, and I quote: "Are you still working on that?" Though in at least one case, I must admit it did sort of feel like work. Not so flattering for the chef though.

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This used to be my least favorite phrase. Then waiters started asking me, "Does everything taste all right?" That seems to set the bar very low. No, nothing is rotten or rancid, thank you.

Recently, a waiter managed to annoy me even more. The only verb he knew was enjoy. When he checked on the table—"Are you enjoying everything?" When he wanted to clear the plate—"Are you still enjoying these?" When he retrieved the empty dessert plate—"It looks like you really enjoyed dessert."

Get that man a thesaurus!

[browniebaker]

I don't like the waiter to sit down in the empty seat next to mine. The one time this happened, I was so taken aback that I gasped, and the waiter popped right out of the seat and resumed standing. The next day, I wrote a short note to the management and was surprised to be told that the waiters are not instructed to sit down at table with customers when taking orders. It seems this one waiter took it on his own initiative to do this. Maybe he thought he was being chummy. I did tip the full amount, though, for he seemed new at waiting tables.

[WHS]

Slow burn department: When the waitperson asks "Are you ready to order?" and you reply "Give us a few more minutes", which the server takes as permission to disappear for the next 20 minutes...or until you march into the kitchen and yell "We're ready now!!" and make him drop his cigarette into the bisque.

[MaxH]

What are some factors that you will neither accept, nor even tolerate, in a fine restaurant?

Restaurant front personnel who do things that are very, very stupid. As in stupid in the clear light of day, according to most people's standards. As in stupid enough to actually hurt their business, or themselves.

In the last 3000 or so restaurant meals I attended, this happened only three times, each time from managers, more or less distracted by their own authority, and inadequately professional to realize that they also were human, and responsible for service businesses. (And three from 3000 is not bad at all for a human enterprise; how many bat 0.999 ?)

Oh yes, I also dislike finding sharp little metal hooks in my salad. (Happened 17 May 95 at a "power lunch" restaurant with otherwise very good food, that I frequented until then. Manager asked if he could have the hook, but I smiled and said no, I think I'll keep it. Since then it's been attached to the restaurant's business card in my file, as a reminder. That was not one of the three, by the way.)

[munchymom]

Closely allied to the "Still working on that?" phenomenon: I hate it when waiters feel it necessary to comment on the fact that I finished my food, e.g. "You must have really liked that!", or even worse, the sarcastically delivered "You didn't like that at all, did you!" Okay, I ate all the food served to me. Is that so unusual? For heaven's sake, servers, when you see an empty plate, the nice thing to say is "May I take this?" Unless you're the customer's mother, you don't need to mention that they cleaned their plate!

[Andrew Fenton]

Oh yes, I also dislike finding sharp little metal hooks in my salad.  (Happened 17 May 95 at a "power lunch" restaurant with otherwise very good food, that I frequented until then.  Manager asked if he could have the hook, but I smiled and said no, I think I'll keep it.  Since then it's been attached to the restaurant's business card in my file, as a reminder. 

Eeek! If it'd been a tuna salad, I suppose it could have been interpreted as an over-zealous demonstration that the tuna was line-caught and not retrieved from a purse sein. But what's good for the environment can be a little less good for the customer's tender esophagus...

Edited May 24, 2005 by Andrew Fenton (log)

[MaxH]

Oh yes, I also dislike finding sharp little metal hooks in my salad.  (Happened 17 May 95 .... 

Eeek! If it'd been a tuna salad, I suppose it could have been interpreted as an over-zealous demonstration that the tuna was line-caught and not retrieved from a purse sein. But what's good for the environment can be a little less good for the customer's tender esophagus...

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Exactly. (It was a salmon salad.)

For historical reference I've appended the comments I posted online about that restaurant, soon afterwards.

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Lion and Compass, Sunnyvale, CA

September 19, 1995

Famous power-lunch establishment (even San Francisco restaurant critics know the place, it’s in a major guide from 1984). Grilled fish and meats, fancy sandwiches and pasta dishes. I was introduced to lunch there by a realtor trying to sell me some property, and indeed much of the clientele seems to be engaged in selling. It’s the first place I ever saw someone pull out a cellular phone during lunch, several years ago (with a glance around to be sure he was observed, and without evident sense of the absurd). At the time this was most unusual, except maybe in Hong Kong. There is even a stock-ticker display near the bar (which, in turn, is no doubt well stocked with Campari, less-known single malts -- the kind not advertised in the New Yorker -- etc.) In recent years the place has competition from Birk’s, nearby. L&C has so much lunch business that it’s often neglected during dinner, so a good bet for no wait then. I’ve had some exceptional meals there though recently lost some enthusiasm after an unpleasant experience with a foreign object in a salad.

[Pan]

Closely allied to the "Still working on that?" phenomenon: I hate it when waiters feel it necessary to comment on the fact that I finished my food, e.g. "You must have really liked that!", or even worse, the sarcastically delivered "You didn't like that at all, did you!"  Okay, I ate all the food served to me.  Is that so unusual?  For heaven's sake, servers, when you see an empty plate, the nice thing to say is "May I take this?"[...]

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Actually, I always find it a little dumb to be asked whether a completely empty plate can be taken away. I'm always tempted to suggest that I need to eat the plate, but I resist being a smart aleck. But I don't mind it when the waiter, upon observing a couple of empty plates says: "I see you really hated the food." My response is "Yeah. Can't you tell we thought it sucked?"

Edited May 24, 2005 by Pan (log)

[eatrustic]

Since most of the good bitch points about the inside of the restaurant have been taken I'll talk about the outside.

Two of the things that turn me off about any restaurant with pretensions of quality are:- filthy awnings, if you want to make a statement with a chic black awning then build a cleaning schedule into the budget to remove all the dust and bird doody.

-the other thing: places that go to the trouble of planting the outside and not maintaining, especially planter boxes that are all dried out or are generally neglected. All this tells me there is a probable lack of good management and attention to detail going on inside as well.

[munchymom]

But I don't mind it when the waiter, upon observing a couple of empty plates says: "I see you really hated the food." My response is "Yeah. Can't you tell we thought it sucked?" 

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Okay, I'm willing to buy that this one is just my own personal quirk, but to me it always seems sort of inappropriate for the server to draw attention to how much I ate. My feeling is, unless it's a situation where quantity is salient, e.g. one of those "Eat the 72-ounce steak and you get it free!" places, just don't mention it. But that could just be me.

[Pam R]

One half of me is agreeing with much of what's being said - the other half of me is fighting to tell what the restaurateur hates about the customer!! I guess that's another thread eh?

[*Deborah*]

But I don't mind it when the waiter, upon observing a couple of empty plates says: "I see you really hated the food." My response is "Yeah. Can't you tell we thought it sucked?" 

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Okay, I'm willing to buy that this one is just my own personal quirk, but to me it always seems sort of inappropriate for the server to draw attention to how much I ate. My feeling is, unless it's a situation where quantity is salient, e.g. one of those "Eat the 72-ounce steak and you get it free!" places, just don't mention it. But that could just be me.

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I'm thinking it's not the quantity they're commenting on, per se; but the fact that you liked it so much and, therefore, it was good.

[daracooks]

Let me reply to a couple of posts.

1. Learning manners. In the Baltimore Washington region there is a company called the International School of Protocol who I have worked with over the years. There classes are for the young and old, rich and poor - they have dinners through out the region. If its in Baltimore it is elsewhere.

I agree those who probably need the instructions the most would not consider that their manners are lacking.

2. From the International School of Protocol, etiquette states that as long as one is dining other diners plates should not be removed. I am the slow diner and without fail at 99% of the restaurants they are always asking to clear my husband and other diners plates while I'm still dining. It was at a Women Chefs and Restaurateurs Conference that I asked the wife and front of house manager of her nationally recognized chef husband about this situation. She said "At casual restaurants it is acceptable to ask to remove the plates while others are still dining but at fine dining establishments plates should not be removed." She also stated that most customer prefer having plates removed when diners are finished even if others are dining.

3. My biggest pet peeves in restaurants - pierced lips, eyebrows and nose rings. Ooooh, pieced tongue - waitstaff can lisp and spit on you at the same time. Perfume-oye!

4. Finally, I have great respect for chefs and restaurateurs. It is a hard hard business dealing with the many quirks of the clientele, staffing issues along with equipment that can go up on the busiest day of the year.