A Mad Cook is a Bad Cook

[laurenmilan]

"When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours." - a sign hanging above my grandpa's bar

[helenjp]

Oh right, here's a Japanese one...

"Resentments based on food run deep." (Kuimono no urami wa fukai).

My husband and I used to work in an inbound travel agency, where we frequently had to field comments from tourists who felt that their frozen green peas weren't a patch on the frozen green peas the tourists at the table next door were getting...

[mklynch]

Greet 'em

Seat 'em

Feed 'em and

Street 'em...................Denny's slogan???

[Nadya]

Another Old Russian: "If life hands you lemon...respond with hand grenades."

For trimming kitchen staff on a less-than-busy night..."If you can lean, you can clean." Meaning, if you are standing around lollygagging and discussing the last night's excesses with your fellow grill man, you may as well pack it and call it a night.

Also, my ever-so-cheerful GM warns me of an upcoming busy night in this fashion:

"We be bobbin' and a-weavin' tonight, Miss Nadya."

[Chef Shogun]

J:  Here's your tip....  Never cook bacon in the nude.

Or steak in a pan. Yeah....

Re: "A mad cook is a bad cook". I don't know, the last three time I've tried to cook anything non-trivial in the new place, I've been pretty annoyed, and it's all turned out pretty well. Like when I couldn't find the measuring spoons, because one of the other roommates keeps re-arranging the kitchen. Long story short, I'm so mad by this point that one of the other roommates calls this guy to inquire after the spoons, and after a flat out-denial of having touched them, he knew exactly where they were: top shelf of the spice/sauce cabinet, behind some stuff. This is what you get when you don't have your meez together. And sure, I totally immolated the first batch of curry paste in the oil, but the second was golden and the curry was tasty!

"When life gives you lemons, you clone those lemons to make...superlemons" -- Cinnamon Scudworth.

Those lemons can then be used, as others have suggested, to make super-whisky sours, super-lemonade, or super-squeezed in the face of those super-people who have super-wronged you.

-- C.S.

"The Furious Gourmet"

[andiesenji]

"Dew-wayne Post, if you don' stop flapping your gums and get into that kitchen to make sure that roux don' burn, there is gon' be a precious lot of loud singin' and slow marchin' round chere."

Miss Mattie DePuis, The Creole Cafe, North Hollywood, CA.

Sadly both Miss Mattie and the cafe went the way of the Dodo many years ago but when Columbia Studios still had the production site on the border of North Hollywood and Burbank, and long before Universal was an entertainment site, there were a great many folks who worked in the studios who enjoyed Miss Mattie's New Orleans food, her stories and her running battle with her (much younger) husband Dewayne who dearly loved to schmooze with the patrons instead of hanging over a hot stove.

With the regulars, the phrase "loud singin' and slow marchin'," came to be known as a subtle threat.

I heard it used by people who had never been within a thousand miles of NOLA.

Edited July 26, 2004 by andiesenji (log)

[Carlovski]

If in doubt, add bacon

[Devilkitty]

A wife who can't cook and won't is better than one who can't cook and will.

[Special K]

"It's the man, not the pan."

[Betts]

My father's favorite.. " Never trust a skinny cook."

[Smithy]

"Dew-wayne Post, if you don' stop flapping your gums and get into that kitchen to make sure that roux don' burn, there is gon' be a precious lot of loud singin' and slow marchin' round chere."