Crimes Against Food

[origamicrane]

oh another peeve !!

Haagen Dazs ice cream!!!!

its way too sweet nowadays!!

10 years ago it was really nice and delicate now its like eating a spoonful of sugar!

[FistFullaRoux]

I was thinking potent as the level of gas I have afterwards.

Well, that too.

Nothing worse than an egg roll fueled case of the barking spiders...

[auntdot]

Carpaccio that is served cooked.

Have had this twice, in very nice restaurants thank you, with no warning on the menu or by the waiter that this was not raw beef.

It was nice roast beef with some red in the middle, but it was not carpaccio.

It is like serving fried sashimi, or sushi fried in batter.

[Katherine]

I guess the 'sweet as inauthentic' thread runs through a lot of cuisines/foods, because sweetness guarantees a certain degree of acceptance/profitability when you are introducing new tastes to your customer base. I hate sweet cornbread or bagels that are light and fluffy and one step away from sweet breakfast muffins, but I'm sure that people raised on Twinkies and Wonder bread and sweet potatoes with marshmallows think they are dandy.

Sweetness in cornbread has nothing to do with authenticity or adaptation to the tastes of people who prefer junk food like twinkies. Sweet cornbread is northern style. The unsweet kind (baked in the cast iron skillet, as a previous poster noted) is southern style.

Each is authentic in its regionality.

[CopperTop]

There is a bagel shop on Imperial in Brea, Orange County, Calif. that advertises 47 varieties of bagels  plus a dozen bialy varieties. 

Y'know, I am not the least bit surprised to learn this monstrosity impersonating a bagel shop is located in SoCal. By the way, I'm a native Californian, so I expect anything way over the top to be from the state of my birth.

My pet culinary peeve is when mushrooms go unmentioned in a dish description on a menu. The reason why this bothers me is because after working BOH for 15 years in Italian restaurants, I developed a sensitivity to mushrooms. A mild reaction results in nausea, a bad reaction can result in swelling of the lips and tongue.

By the way, do you know what you call a chef that can't taste a mushroom based sauce for re-seasoning? Unemployed.

Edited July 4, 2004 by CopperTop (log)

[Verjuice]

Vegan desserts.

Vegan chocolate desserts, vegan "cheesecake", leaden vegan cookies that turn to sawdust in the mouth, soy puddings, cream pies made with the same such, parched, offensive vegan cakes iced with silken tofu ganache or something equally ridiculous, and absolutely anything containing carob.

Why oh why? Eat fruit instead.

Edited July 4, 2004 by Verjuice (log)

[CompassRose]

If you're not vegan, why would you eat them?

I've had some delightful vegan desserts. Like the avocado chocolate terrine at Fressen in Toronto. And some very decent vegan cakes made from recipes in the Millennium Cookbook.

I've also had some very bad non-vegan desserts.

Some people just can't make a good cake or cookie, with or without extract of cow.

[Epice]

Undersalting or, worse, failing to salt altogether, is the #1 all-time worst crime against food. 

Except for oversalting--which renders food totally, irredeemably, permanently inedible.

I like salt. I just don't like to have my lips instantly shriveled by what passes between them.

[rasputin1072]

This has happened to me three separate times at three different restaurants in Wisconsin (granted, not the most expensive restaurants). I order a burger or steak and the waiter asks me how I want it, and I say "rare" and they tell me they are only allowed to do medium or above, or it's their policy not to serve rare meat. Why even ask me how I want it? If it has to be cooked that long then I'd rather have something else. Actually, thinking about it, it's kind of scary...do they know something about their meat that I don't?

Some cities have laws passed keeping restaurants from serving meat that is cooked to an "unsafe". It's either that or a rash of paranoid owners.

[Wayne]

Poor quality pasta.....overcooked pasta....oversauced pasta....pasta with big

chewy chunks of sundried tomato.....inappropriate use of cheese.....

Restaurants that commit one or a combination of the above mentioned sins

against pasta.

When I order a pasta dish I expect good quality pasta, properly cooked and

with a sauce that compliments the pasta but doesn't mask it. Unfortunately

it a rare combination.

[chefs13]

Egg rolls with extra potent cabbage... 

I agree, its nappa cabbage in my eggrolls. Nice subtle tasts and not over powering, like regular green cabbage. Who puts green cabbage in eggrolls anyway?

[CompassRose]

The Curse of the Meaningless Garnish.

Squiggles of Brown Syrup or Red Syrup randomly written under my cake, whether or not it is a sort of cake that would harmonize with Brown or Red Syrup. Dried parsley, or paprika, shaken about the borders of a plate. The Curly Parsley Sprig (which I am convinced gets picked off each plate, rinsed off and reused, since as everyone knows curly parsley is really made in Japan).

If it's going to be garnished, make it a good, edible one that goes with the dish. Otherwise, I'd just like my food, please.

[jsolomon]

Meat substitutes. If you like hot dogs, but you're a vegetarian, deal with your psychological need for one or the other and figure out how you want to live your life. DON'T BE A FENCE SITTER, DAMMIT! Ditto for "burgers" and quorn.

And uncareful grocery store workers who can bruise unripe peaches! Beat the little blighters for beating my food!

[Carlovski]

The Curse of the Meaningless Garnish.

Squiggles of Brown Syrup or Red Syrup randomly written under my cake, whether or not it is a sort of cake that would harmonize with Brown or Red Syrup. Dried parsley, or paprika, shaken about the borders of a plate. The Curly Parsley Sprig (which I am convinced gets picked off each plate, rinsed off and reused, since as everyone knows curly parsley is really made in Japan).

If it's going to be garnished, make it a good, edible one that goes with the dish. Otherwise, I'd just like my food, please.

I agree.

Best example I ever saw was my friend having baked beans on toast in a bar (They had a sort of 'ironic' kiddie food section on the menu, beans, fish fingers etc)

And even THAT came with the compulsory sprinkle of dried parsley on the plates edge.

[bleachboy]

Dried parsley, or paprika, shaken about the borders of a plate.

BAM!

[CheGuevara]

Perfectly cooked cheeseburger on a perfectly shitty roll. Are all Kaiser rolls shipped stale?

Shipped: To place or receive on board a ship: shipped the cargo in the hold.

that should answer your question....prefabricated bread they should call it.

-che

[CheGuevara]

Le Trois Garcons restaurant in London's East End.... Dubya should be sending troops in there instead. All you UK Gulleteers, start lobbying Tony "I love Bush" Blair to get serious about crimes against humanity at the above mentioned establishment.

please elaborate - i'm work quite close to them....

-che

[Kayakado]

...Microwaved breads!!! ugggghhhh

There is a restaurant in Jacksonville FL called Lubi's that serves what is essentially a sub/grinder that's heated in a microwave oven instead of a pizza oven. It is like eating soft particle board with meat and/or cheese on it. I tried one before I realized what it was.

I also hate fresh mushrooms that have been packaged in plastic and not allowed to breathe - bring back the tissue paper wrapping and wooden boxes!

Edited July 9, 2004 by Kayakado (log)

[Toasted]

Meat substitutes. If you like hot dogs, but you're a vegetarian, deal with your psychological need for one or the other and figure out how you want to live your life. DON'T BE A FENCE SITTER, DAMMIT! Ditto for "burgers" and quorn.

Hey Freud, some of us buy it cause we actually like the way it tastes! Bocca makes a tasty burger.

[LittleWing]

The Curse of the Meaningless Garnish.

Chives on EVERYTHING! SOme restaurants sprinkle chopped chives atop every dish they serve. It may look pretty, but unless it has a purpose as far as the taste of the dish, it ruins my dinner.

I know this thread is old -- I guess I'm just late to the party. Couldn't refrain from adding my gripe...

Edited September 20, 2004 by LittleWing (log)

[Kevin72]

Since it's getting towards that season: menus that describe a dish as having "wild mushrooms" and you get it and it's portabellos or cremini . . .

[maremosso]

Even worse: sandy, gritty salad greens - so common here in Buenos Aires restaurants.

Oh, yes, and overcooked meats - again very common here even in the best places.

And pasta not "al dente", served with a technicolor-red tomato sauce.

Overcooked fish.... and sugar on the rim of cocktail glasses serving Caipirinha or Pisco Sour, instead of salt...

[get in my belly]

what about those idiots that dont wash there chopped parsley and its like grass clippings and dirt mmmmmmmmm dirt .

[eunny jang]

what about those idiots that dont wash there chopped parsley and its like grass clippings and dirt mmmmmmmmm dirt .

←

Or the ones who are afraid to wash mushrooms and you end up with dirt and nasty ground things and worse in things like morels.

[fifi]

I love this thread.

I ran into this one a few days ago at a restaurant that should know better.

The butter was cold

and wrapped in gold foil

and I can't get it out without getting butter

all over my fingers.