Crimes Against Food

[rxrfrx]

2) Same for pizza.  Please grill the mushrooms, onions, peppers BEFORE putting them on a pizza.  Otherwise they make for a soggy crust.

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There are a number of pizza places in Boston that use uncooked vegetable toppings and the pizza doesn't get too wet- actually, the vegetables sometimes get too dry. It's all a matter of how thinly the toppings are sliced and how hot the oven is.

[rxrfrx]

and of course, with the exception of Grape Nehi, all those "grape flavored" things taste mostly like Dimetapp (or however you spell that awful cold medicine liquid).

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Personally, I think all those grape-flavored things are delicious. It's either an accquired or innate taste, stereotypically linked with the "urban" demographic/racial minorities/blacks. I'm not exactly sure where that whole association came from, though. Grape gum, grape Kool-Aid, grape soda... all good. Grape jelly, on the other hand, just tastes like awful.

[godito]

Keeping with the grape thing, good jellies, juices and even some candy are made to resemble Concord grapes. My real first experience with those was in the Grape Festival they have in Naples, NY. Good stuff. Until then, I had always wondered why fake-grape stuff (like candies) never tasted like real grapes. Now I know.

I guess that was a bit off topic, so I will go with things I don't like, and maybe somebody else said it first, but I dislike them so much they deserve a second post!

1. Overcooked and dry meats... particularly fish

2. Adding ketchup to your potatoes without tasting them first. We used to make some Tuscan Potatoes which were boiled, dried and then fried twice (the second time in a garlicky sage-rosemary infused oil) and some customers just went ahead and asked for some ketchup without even tasting them first

3. Hard gnocci made with too much flour

4. Underdressed salads drive me nuts.

5. When spicy food is mild at best

I can think of some more but I will stop there for now. Need time to vent

[BarbaraY]

Scrambled eggs cooked on a griddle and overdone omlettes. DANG, man; use a frying pan and some butter, fergawdssake!

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Those eggs were probably beaten up in a bucket since God knows when. If one asks for scrambled easy they come out half cooked and half raw. (Gag!)

I no longer order scrambled eggs in restaurants.

And why is it impossible to get a piece of toast that is toasted all over on both sides?

[WHT]

Okay folks, my turn.

3) Shredded potatoes being passed off as home fries.  They're not.

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Most of the places that use them like Denny’s buy them in dry form. The rehydrate them over night by adding water. If not enough is used they are real lame.

[chuck]

One thing I definitely love is cold butter and room temperature bread. It's no crime to serve these to diners who know how to eat. Break off a piece of the bread you're given into a bite-sized portion, cleave a hunk of cold, unsalted butter, and combine just before you put it into your mouth. Nothing better than letting it warm up on it's own.

Warm red wine, served at modern 'room temperature', now that's a travesty. If grandma wraps up in a throw with the heat on it does not mean that you should follow suit with pinot. 55 F - 60 F. Please.

[Susan in FL]

One thing I definitely love is cold butter and room temperature bread.  It's no crime to serve these to diners who know how to eat.  Break off a piece of the bread you're given into a bite-sized portion, cleave a hunk of cold, unsalted butter, and combine just before you put it into your mouth.  Nothing better than letting it warm up on it's own.

Warm red wine, served at modern 'room temperature', now that's a travesty.  If grandma wraps up in a throw with the heat on it does not mean that you should follow suit with pinot.  55 F - 60 F.  Please.

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Ah, the temperature factor... I am with you on both of those.

We have a friend who every time has us over for dinner, serves her cheese cold from the fridge. Odd, everything else she fixes is always very good.

[Sencha]

Hm...Well, I suppose I have my fair share of complaints as well.

- When a place calls something "Asian" just because they added soy sauce and/or some ginger.

- People putting ketchup on EVERYTHING. It's alright on SOME things, but it's not meant to be all purpose.

- When people start adding extra seasoning or sauce to a dish before even tasting it. I think it's important to taste the food as is first and see what the cook had in mind when creating the dish.

- When there's too much melted cheese on a dish. Covering something in cheese doesn't necessarily make it better.

- Preground pepper and iodized salt.

[judiu]

I with you, Sencha. (And by the way, welcome to the fun factory!) My grandmother never owned a can of pre-ground pepper in my lifetime, and my mom used Kosher salt for everything. I thought I hated pepper until I tried it freshly ground.

[PassionateChefsDie]

After reading all these wasn't going to say anything, but then the one thing that drives me up the wall is, watching them shove the leaves of salad into the shelfs in the supermarkets! I just want to push them out of the way do it myself not all of us like our salad leaves battered into mush before we buy it!

[ingridsf]

flabby fries

fake onion rings

uber-thick hamburgers and deli sandwiches made w/ 5 lbs of meat

anything served with Miracle Whip

seafood pasta served with cheese

toast served cold and unbuttered (also generally untoasted!)

pizza with barely cooked toppings, or sugar-sauces (I'm looking at you and your "bbq" sauce, CPK)

the overall state of the once-delicious eggroll

the dreaded medley: steamed carrots-yellow squash-zucchini

low- or no-fat yogurt, sour cream

sky-high "pies" built with generic ice cream, cookie crumb crust and Redi-Whip

fowl digits, aka chicken fingers (Number One Most Wanted on Crimes Against Children list)

food served in too-small a dish (esp salads you have to dress yourself and plates that include meat needing to be cut up)

A comment on the vegan dessert thing from a way back:

I've eaten several times at our city's best known and respected vegan restaurant. The desserts have been...eh. Not all that great. Flavors okay but tough, grainy crusts and odd textures throughout. Basically, I give the pastry chef an A for effort, and for having reasonable success within a limited form.

[jennahan]

Things that really irk me:

1. The appaling state of pre-packaged food for children...starting from the bland jarred stuff (including the organic ranges) to the fake cheeses, battered rubber blobs of reconstituted "chicken" and "fish", and mushy, overly-sweet tinned pasta monstrosities. I'm not even going to get started on kids menus in restaurants.

2. The impossibility of getting a decent scone in the States

3. The appalling quality of croissants everywhere (yes, even now in France)

4. Paying outrageous prices for average food

5. Deep dish pizza, stuffed-crust pizza, and the cardboard texture of the pizza dough in most pizzarias

6. The fact that it is considered to be a luxury to have chicken, eggs, dairy products, vegetables and fruit which are fresh, flavourful, and not pumped with chemicals.

[Milagai]

Things that really irk me:

1.  The appaling state of pre-packaged food for children...starting from the bland jarred stuff (including the organic ranges) to the fake cheeses, battered rubber blobs of reconstituted "chicken" and "fish", and mushy, overly-sweet tinned pasta monstrosities.  I'm not even going to get started on kids menus in restaurants.

6.  The fact that it is considered to be a luxury to have chicken, eggs, dairy products, vegetables and fruit which are fresh, flavourful, and not pumped with chemicals.

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amen!

in general, the whole idea of separate "kids menus" in restaurants

that consist of eeky items one's dog would turn up its nose at!

its these things that give little kids an undeserved rap for being picky

and then by the time they're older, they indeed do become picky.

who would not develop a lifetime distrust of food after being served

this garbage!!!

milagai

[shelora]

The beauty of Spanish ham is the fact that the fat is good for you - up there with olive oil - and that is melts in your mouth. The ham is filled with faintly sweet floral perfumes and is best enjoyed with your eyes closed.

The crime in question is when wonderful thin slices of the ham are served with olive oil drizzled all over it. Worse yet, is when chefs think its the same as prosciuto and starts wrapping food in it and baking or grilling the item with more olive oil. Leave it alone, dammit!!!!

[Pezchef]

It really bothers me when I order French Onion Soup somewhere and they just throw the cheese on top and micro it or something instead of broiling it. I want it to be brown and crunchy or else what is the point?????!!!

[Hector]

The beauty of Spanish ham is the fact that the fat is good for you - up there with olive oil - and that is melts in your mouth. The ham is filled with faintly sweet floral perfumes and is best enjoyed with your eyes closed.

The crime in question is when wonderful thin slices of the ham are served with olive oil drizzled all over it. Worse yet, is when chefs think its the same as prosciuto and starts wrapping food in it and baking or grilling the item with more olive oil. Leave it alone, dammit!!!!

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That is so true.. don't mess with the Spanish ham.

Or even worse!! When non-Spanish Europeans remove the wonderful, delicious, extravagant white fat of a wonderful piece of Iberico Bellota ham and disposes it at the side of their plate, because they are afraid of fatty foods. that makes me so angry I want to go shove the fat up their mouths!

[Hector]

Other Crimes on Food:

All the vegitarian meat-substitutes:

Soy-"Hot Dogs", Quorn-"Chicken"-Fillet, "Beef" made out of soy-proteine, "meat"balls made out of soy, "hamburgers" made out of soy,

Ground "beef" made out of beancurd...

Why do you even call it hamburgers, hotdogs whatsoever?

It's not meat and it's dry, tasteless (apart from a resemblance of soy), not chewable and disguuuusting!

Using Margarine.

You know why.

Pasta-sallads

This is probably hard for anybody who hasn't had any longtime experience of eating pasta sallads, like I and the average swedish person have. At almost every buffet here in sweden, there's always going to be a pasta sallad; some kind of pasta (like fussili) with different kinds of sallad, chopped tomatoes, cheeses, cucumbers, avocadoes, sun-dried tomatoes, salami, fruits, pesto sauce etcetra and it's always going to end up tasting crap.

It's always underseasoned, the oil makes the pasta soft, slippery and greasy in a bad way, the vinegar gives the pasta a touch off unebearable acidity that makes you get chills...

The vegetables are always soft and hurt by refrigeration. A

vocado always goes brown after a while. Cheeses(like feta or mozzarella), fruits and pesto sauces which is sometimes added goes terrible with the oil and vinegar and the by the vegetables mashed pastas starch...

I could go on all day about this. Anybody who has a simillar experience of this?

Edited June 13, 2005 by Hector (log)

[Pan]

Meat substitutes are fine when they're Chinese, as in vegetarian duck. People who are not vegetarians are delighted to have some delicious Chinese vegetarian food that mocks the texture and flavor of ham, pork, whatever. But protose steak sucks!

[JasonTrue]

- Towers of impressive-sounding but incongrous, unrelated ingredients promoted as "fusion". Possible for something in this category to turn out nicely, but rare.

- Skim milk, and low fat dairy products in general. If I want low fat I'll blanch some vegetables and dress them with a bit of soy sauce and fresh ginger, which I can actually crave.

- Stable hydrogenated fryer oil used for a month or two at a time.

- Big food, served for the sake of bigness. Especially pasta.

- Chocolate with hydrogenated vegetable (soy, palm, etc) oil, whose cocoa butter has been sold off at high profit to cosmetic companies.

On a few items I beg to differ:

- It's an oldie on this thread, but room temperature bread doesn't bother me, as long as it's served with good, room-temperature butter, and fresh. I'd rather have room temperature bread than bread which is heated for the sole purpose of providing customers the delusion of "fresh baked" stale bread.

[mona]

Hm...Well, I suppose I have my fair share of complaints as well.

- When a place calls something "Asian" just because they added soy sauce and/or some ginger.

- People putting ketchup on EVERYTHING. It's alright on SOME things, but it's not meant to be all purpose.

- When people start adding extra seasoning or sauce to a dish before even tasting it. I think it's important to taste the food as is first and see what the cook had in mind when creating the dish.

- When there's too much melted cheese on a dish. Covering something in cheese doesn't necessarily make it better.

- Preground pepper and iodized salt.

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What is iodized salt and why is it bad?

[TJHarris]

Hm...Well, I suppose I have my fair share of complaints as well.

- When a place calls something "Asian" just because they added soy sauce and/or some ginger.

- People putting ketchup on EVERYTHING. It's alright on SOME things, but it's not meant to be all purpose.

- When people start adding extra seasoning or sauce to a dish before even tasting it. I think it's important to taste the food as is first and see what the cook had in mind when creating the dish.

- When there's too much melted cheese on a dish. Covering something in cheese doesn't necessarily make it better.

- Preground pepper and iodized salt.

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What is iodized salt and why is it bad?

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Iodized salt is salt which has had the element Iodine added. This was required by law in many areas for general use table salt. I am uncertain if it is still legally required or not. Iodine, as a nutrient, is essential for proper Thyroid function and the prevention of goiter. Sever iodine deficiency has also been linked to mental retardation as well as other developmental problems.

All that being said, Iodized salt tastes nasty when compared to most sea salts or even a decent Kosher salt.

Edited June 13, 2005 by TJHarris (log)

[TJHarris]

The forum host can boot this if they feel it is to far off topic but...

Last evening, whilst at the local market, I observed a woman with two small children in the check out lane in front of me. In her basket, 12 frozen tv dinners, cookies, ice cream sandwiches, cheese doodles, potato chips, some kind of breakfast cereal that has more sugar than grain.

I don't know if this constitutes a crime against food, but it comes close to child endangerment.

[Bond Girl]

The forum host can boot this if they feel it is to far off topic but...

Last evening,  whilst at the local market,  I observed a woman with two small children in the check out lane in front of me.  In her basket,  12 frozen tv dinners,  cookies, ice cream sandwiches,  cheese doodles,  potato chips, some kind of breakfast cereal that has more sugar than grain. 

I don't know if this constitutes a crime against food,  but it comes close to child endangerment.

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It is a crime against food. Why do people buy packaged stuff when there are so many glorious produces they can cook?

[Poffertjes]

Yesterday I was in a grocery store and I saw a woman's cart with frozen dinners, gallons of soda, gatorade, prepackaged foods of every sort, when her daughter came up and asked if she could get a package of jelly beans the woman told her no, they were unhealthy. Then she looked in my cart of fresh fruit, veggies, meat, and butter and did a snobby little Hmmmf. Which one of us has our priorities out of line lady?

Also, people who bag your groceries and put an eggplant on top of your nice warm bread, or manage to put a pound of onions on top of the berries, avocado's or whatever nice fruit you are going to eat as soon as you get home or those who look at what ever "weird" produce you have bought, ask what the hell it is and promply drop it, bang it, throw it in a bag, thus bruising it, making you ask why you spend good money on something you want if they are only going to make it inedible!

[TJHarris]

Yesterday I was in a grocery store and I saw a woman's cart with frozen dinners, gallons of soda, gatorade, prepackaged foods of every sort, when her daughter came up and asked if she could get a package of jelly beans the woman told her no, they were unhealthy. Then she looked in my cart of fresh fruit, veggies, meat, and butter and did a snobby little Hmmmf. Which one of us has our priorities out of line lady?

Also, people who bag your groceries and put an eggplant on top of your nice warm bread, or manage to put a pound of onions on top of the berries, avocado's or whatever nice fruit you are going to eat as soon as you get home or those who look at what ever "weird" produce you have bought, ask what the hell it is and promply drop it, bang it, throw it in a bag, thus bruising it, making you ask why you spend good money on something you want if they are only going to make it inedible!

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I won't let the baggers touch my stuff. Too many times they have bagged the berries with the raw chicken or the lettuce with the scouring powder.