food writer as ultimate bore

[tsquare]

Writers without benefit of editing? Not always a smart idea. Some can do it, some prepare, some suck.

[jogoode]

As for being based on Steingarten, I'd say it's unlikely. I don't know if you've heard but Jeffrey Steingarten is incredibly handsome and verile, not to mention a captivating speaker and stylish dresser. At parties, throngs of enthralled supplicants keep him maddeningly out of reach of the hors d'oeuvres. Clearly based on a different model.

I think he'd get a kick out of hearing that! Aside from his custom-made shirts and that photo of him on his books' jackets, which somehow manages to make him look like he's 6'4'' despite only being a bust shot, he is a very regular looking guy -- short with appropriate girth.

[jogoode]

Jeffrey Steingarten is . . . a captivating speaker . . .

If only. I enjoy and admire his writing, but I've heard him give two talks which were so rambling and seemingly ill-prepared as virtually to cause a behind-the-scenes revolution within the organizations that had invited him. It's a shame; something seems to happen to his brain when he stands behind a podium.

I liked hearing him speak, but it was more enjoyable as a demonstration of his personality than as a well-conceived lecture. His (very) frequent digressions were interspersed with mumbled jokes and were very entertaining. He does write like he speaks. I think he gets nervous in front of an audience, at least without the pen and page to protect him and give him a chance to collect his thoughts. Also, to the lectures he gives in NY come people who haven't read his books and ask questions that necessitate his reciting chapters from his books.

I also saw him on a panel with Ruth Riechl and Donna Hay. He was contentious, almost insulting at times, which in my opinion saved the talk from the typical discussion: "Ms. Riechl, Ms. Hay, how do you get such pretty pictures in your magazines?" He started some interesting conversation and felt free to challenge the other two, especially Riechl, whom I understand he is very friendly with.

[kpurvis]

And speaking of getting dissed on "S@C," I think I can speak for many of us here in Charlotte, N.C., when I say: Stop it! We're not all rednecks with mullets, many of us come to New York quite regularly, and Charlotte's real estate is way too pricey for trailer parks.

When they said the potential parents were coming from Charlotte, I thought, for a glimmering moment, that they might do something original and real: Have the parents turn out to be bankers. Given my city's position as home of the 2nd and 3rd largest banks in the country, that would be statistically more likely.

But no. They had to pander to the country's limited notion of Southerners, once again.

[Busboy]

The single greatest response to food bores, and a spectularly funny read, was penned by Russell Baker in response to Craig Claiborn's bilking American Express out of a 4-grand dinner in Paris (not that there's anything wrong with that). Claiborn bought "dinner for two at any restaurant," donated by American Express, and caught a flight to Paris for a 5-hour, 31 course dinner. With all respect to Mr. Claiborn, the resulting article -- which I may have read in the old NYT Cookbook, I can't find it on line -- was, like the meal, a little pretentious and well over the top. Baker's response included lines like:

"To create the balance of tastes so cherished by the epicurean palate, I followed with a pâté de fruites de nuts of Georgia, prepared according to my own recipe. A half-inch layer of creamy-style peanut butter is troweled onto a graham cracker, then half a banana is crudely diced and pressed firmly into the peanut butter and cemented in place as it were by a second graham cracker.

The accompanying drink was cold milk served in a wide-brimmed jelly glass. This is essential to proper consumption of the pâté, since the entire confection must be dipped into the milk to soften it for eating. In making the presentation to the mouth, one must beware lest the milk-soaked portion of the sandwich fall onto the necktie. Thus seasoned gourmandisers follow the old maxim of the Breton chefs and "bring the mouth to the jelly glass."

Here's the whole thing.

[laurenmilan]

Later scenes show the Wallace Shawn character boring other guests to tears with talk of artisanal cheese and, the killer, US rules about raw milk cheeses. He's also paying an awful lot of attention to the passed hors d'oeuvres.

Hell, I'd have taken him home!

[Pan]

Thanks Busboy. Russell Baker was such a funny man, and I miss him.

[rbarenblat]

The single greatest response to food bores, and a spectularly funny read, was penned by Russell Baker in response to Craig Claiborn's bilking American Express out of a 4-grand dinner in Paris

Thank you for this link! Somehow I hadn't seen this before.

I think you may have excerpted the best paragraphs of the piece in your post, but the whole thing is pretty funny.

I'll definitely be sharing this link with a bunch of friends now...