Hideous Recipes

[Mabelline]

That's the one...in the fun with coffee book, they show cubes of coffee jello! Perhaps you might offer some with the bacon truffles, which are just different, not horrible.

[tryska]

wow - varmint - your idea of going to armour takes the prize...check this one out....mmmm....banana treets!

Edited February 16, 2004 by tryska (log)

[sml311]

Tang pie--two for the effort of one!

The orange slice really adds something I bet!

SML

[mags]

Hunh. Banana-and-lunch-meat pancakes. This is a very strong contender for the dessert portion of the menu, although I confess I have never seen Treet, and have no idea where to get it. Also, I hate to give up the Tang pie. Is it overkill to serve two desserts?

[ludja]

Also, we could use a starch and one or two veg sides -- unless people feel that the hot-dog-and-canned-bean-sprouts dish could do vegetable duty. I personally feel it might make the menu a bit too heavy on the protein.

Here's a candidate for a veg. side dish:

Brussel Sprouts in Celery Sauce

Cook brussel sprouts in salted water until tender.

Cook chopped celery in 1 cup water until tender; save water from celery.

Make a roux with butter and flour and then gradually add in celery cooking water and milk. Cook until thick. Season with celery salt, pepper and nutmeg. Add cooked celery back in.

Pour this lovely celery melange over the boiled brussel sprouts and serve

from: The Southern Junior League Cookbook

[PopsicleToze]

and my vote goes to VELVEETA FUDGE

When I first heard about it, I thought it was a joke. However, a google search turned up several recipes. Here's one: http://southernfood.about.com/library/rec03/bl30222c.htm

[Mayhaw Man]

and my vote goes to VELVEETA FUDGE

When I first heard about it, I thought it was a joke. However, a google search turned up several recipes. Here's one: http://southernfood.about.com/library/rec03/bl30222c.htm

What a snob. You know you secretly desire the smooth combination of Velvety Velveeta and of rich, dark chocolate combined into a delicious, fudgy treat.

[dls]

Oh gosh, this is swell.  We've got the gin-and-canned peaches cocktail, to be served with crackers and the (shuddering) Spam cheesecake.  For a salad course, there's the -- this truly blows my mind -- chicken congealed with canned chicken-noodle soup, COOL WHIP (!!) and mayonnaise on a bed of lettuce, Beef Delight as an entree, and Tang pie for dessert.  My one concern is that both the Tang pie and the spectacularly weird congealed chicken salad contain Cool Whip.  Ordinarily I would avoid repeating an ingredient like that.  Do you think it's a problem here?

Also, we could use a starch and one or two veg sides -- unless people feel that the hot-dog-and-canned-bean-sprouts dish could do vegetable duty.  I personally feel it might make the menu a bit too heavy on the protein.

Oh yes, and then there's the bacon-and-chocolate truffles with coffee. 

I understad your concern about repeating an ingredient, but you may want to consider Spam with scalloped potatoes as a veg side. Or, you just may want to reserve this for another feast.

http://www.hormel.com/kitchen/recipe.asp?id=951

[Pickles]

This one had my stomach in..knots--my aunt wrote this out for me on an index card:

Pretzel Salad:

2 c. crushed pretzels

4 tbsp. sugar

1 stick butter or margarine

8 oz. cream cheese, softened

1/4 c. sugar

2 c. Cool Whip

1 box sm. strawberry Jello

2 pts. strawberries, cut up

Mix pretzels, 4 tablespoons sugar and butter together and pat into 9 x 13 inch pan. Bake at 375 degrees for 7 minutes. Cream together the cream cheese and the 1/4 cup of sugar. Add Cool Whip. Spread over pretzel layer. Add two cups of boiling water to Jello. Add strawberries to Jello and let thicken a little while cooling. Pour over cream cheese layer and chill until firm.

Edited February 17, 2004 by Pickles (log)

[SobaAddict70]

Y'all are making this shit up.

Soba

[mrbigjas]

Hells no. I've had that jello/pretzel/cream cheese salad that Pickles posted. It's, uh, not that bad, actually. I mean, all things considered.

[Mudpuppie]

Funny how most of the disgusting things I’ve come up with are recipes of my mother’s. She brought a dip recipe home once that consisted of some sort of white creamy product (don’t remember if it was cool whip, mayo or cream cheese) mixed with onions, nuts, red bell peppers and lemon jello powder. I considered asking her for the recipe just so I could post it here, but then she’d start calling me to ask if I’d made it yet. I didn’t want to tease her.

The worst one I found in my cookbooks is called, no kidding, “Beauty and the Bean.” It’s from The Cottage Cheese Cookbook, 1967. Actually, there are quite a few contenders in this book.

Beauty and the Bean

2 envelopes gelatin

1-1/2 c. water

2/3 c. mayo

1 c. creamed cottage cheese

2/3 c. chopped celery

1/4 c. chopped onion

1/2 tsp. salt

1 can green beans

1-1/2 c. hot dog relish with mustard

Chicory

Parsley sprigs

Sprinkle gelatin in 1 cup cold water in saucepan. Let soften. Heat to dissolve gelatin further. Remove from heat and add the other 1/2 cup water. Blend into mayonnaise. Chill a quarter of the mixture until it begins to thicken. Fold in cottage cheese, 1/2 of the celery and onion, and salt. Drain beans and arrange 12 of them around sides of a 6-cup mold. Turn gelatin mixture into mold. Chill remaining mixture until it begins to thicken. Fold in remaining beans (chopped), the relish, a pinch of salt, and the remaining celery and onion. Turn into mold over first layer and chill. Unmold on chicory and serve garnished with parsley sprigs.

[Mudpuppie]

Er, I found one that’s worse than Beauty and the Bean.

Cranberry Tang

2 envelopes gelatin

2 cups chicken broth

2 cups creamed cottage cheese

1 c. sour cream

1 c. sweet pickles or pickle relish

2 Tbl pickle juice

1-1/3 c. cranberries, ground

Combine gelatin and 1 cup of the chicken broth. Let stand for a few minutes before stirring over low heat to dissolve. Mix together cottage cheese and sour cream. Blend well. Add dissolved gelatin and remaining broth. Chill until partially set. Fold in pickles, pickle juice, and cranberries. Pour into 2-quart mold and chill until firm. Unmold and serve on lettuce with mandarin orange slices.

This has to be the winner, right?

I need to put this book away, else I’ll be typing all night.

[wnissen]

Hunh. Banana-and-lunch-meat pancakes. This is a very strong contender for the dessert portion of the menu, although I confess I have never seen Treet, and have no idea where to get it.

Treet, believe it or not, is SPAM for those who cannot afford the real thing. My granddad, a frugal lawyer, would eat this for dinner. Yeek.

Not in the same league as the others, but I would nominate several recipes from the "Slow Cooker Cookbook," notably the beef stew recipes that are completely unseasoned except for salt and pepper but do call for a tablespoon of minute tapioca for each pound of meat.

Walt

[...tm...]

Well, if the genious researchers in the Kraft foods test kitchen count as serious recipe creators, take a look at this gem:

Bacon Snack Bars

It combines the best from all worlds, namely bacon, peanut butter, tang, and breakfast cereal.

[MsMelkor]

A quick perusal through my 1967 edition of Joy of Cooking yields instructions for cooking opossum. Apparently it's best to trap them and feed them on milk and cereals for 10 days before killing and consuming them. Roadkill connoisseurs will be happy to note that squirrels, raccoons, and woodchucks do not need to be fed a special diet before being killed. And who knew that muskrat should be sauteed with minced onions and served with creamed celery? Ah, the joy of cooking!

[Mudpuppie]

Well, if the genious researchers in the Kraft foods test kitchen count as serious recipe creators, take a look at this gem:

Bacon Snack Bars

It combines the best from all worlds, namely bacon, peanut butter, tang, and breakfast cereal.

[Mabelline]

mags, uhm, are you intending to keep these friends? 'Cause this starting to look like an evening with Savonarola!

[mags]

Er, I found one that’s worse than Beauty and the Bean.

Cranberry Tang

2 envelopes gelatin

2 cups chicken broth

2 cups creamed cottage cheese

1 c. sour cream

1 c. sweet pickles or pickle relish

2 Tbl pickle juice

1-1/3 c. cranberries, ground

Combine gelatin and 1 cup of the chicken broth. Let stand for a few minutes before stirring over low heat to dissolve. Mix together cottage cheese and sour cream. Blend well. Add dissolved gelatin and remaining broth. Chill until partially set. Fold in pickles, pickle juice, and cranberries. Pour into 2-quart mold and chill until firm. Unmold and serve on lettuce with mandarin orange slices.

This has to be the winner, right?

I need to put this book away, else I’ll be typing all night.

Actually, I gotta say I'm kinda partial to Beauty and the Bean, if only because it contains the extra delight of canned green beans, which have to be one of the most disgusting things going. Plus one and a half cups of hot dog relish. Hunh. That sure is a lotta relish.

[mags]

Well, if the genious researchers in the Kraft foods test kitchen count as serious recipe creators, take a look at this gem:

Bacon Snack Bars

It combines the best from all worlds, namely bacon, peanut butter, tang, and breakfast cereal.

What's truly frightening is the user who apparently loves these bars, and finds them especially delicious when dipped in gravy.

[mags]

mags, uhm, are you intending to keep these friends? 'Cause this starting to look like an evening with Savonarola!

(can't stop laughing) You know, the original idea for this dinner was that it would be sort of vaguely horrible, in an interesting kind of way. But some of the recipes that people have come up with here....no, I honestly don't think there's anybody I hate enough to feed banana-and-lunch-meat pancakes, or cookies made with bacon and Tang and dipped in gravy.

[Gifted Gourmet]

What's truly frightening is the user who apparently loves these bars, and finds them especially delicious when dipped in gravy.

Perhaps the gravy makes them slide down one's throat fast enough to avoid the actual chewing .. and is, therefore, a blessing in disguise?

[cjs]

how about one of those bizare congealed salads involving jello and miracle whip?

maybe involving peas too.

something like this...perhaps?

GOOD GOD!!!!!!

[SobaAddict70]

This thread reminds me of the worst meals in someone's home thread. I'm not sure which is more hideous...the tang pie or the following gem:

Next he brought out a platter of what he called chicken a l'orange. It was whole chicken, covered with a sandy orange substance that had bled onto the chicken, creating splotches of neon orange across the skin. Still reeling from the soup fiasco, and feeling more relaxed by lots of wine, we all eyed the chicken and grilled him on how it was prepared. He proudly explained that he had simply spread a package of orange Kool-Aid mix over the chicken, covered it tightly with foil, and baked it. He added, with a note of concern, that the Kool-Aid mix had "eaten" through the foil in spots (no doubt the reaction of the acid with the aluminum), but that he had managed to get all the bits of foil off of the bird before serving it. My sister just slumped in her chair and sighed. We were all starving at this point, so we dissected the bird, pulled off the skin and any lingering bits of Kool-Aid, and ate.

Soba

[hjshorter]

how about one of those bizare congealed salads involving jello and miracle whip?

maybe involving peas too.

something like this...perhaps?

That sounds vile. I tried explaining the ingredients to my husband last night. It nearly put him off his dinner.